Scary Products

Hey, you crazy mofos, I want to share with you some kewl new products that a good friend of mine (a talented artist/designer whom I taught everything he knows when he first got out of art school) has launched along with his wife to try to feed their new kid.

As readers of this blog well know, I'm completely against human reproduction, so I will never speak to my friend again. The child, however, who didn't ask to be brought into this heinous world, is innocent and deserves to eat. So check out the site and buy some crap. If you want to look like me, I'll be sporting the devil and scary clown shirts. There are other worthy designs there, too.

Don't forget to click the images herein to enlargenate. Be careful with the clown, though. When large, it will scare the chutney out of you.

Nuclear Summer

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by the word, "Nucular."
"He who cannot control his tongue, cannot hope to control his mind." – Fortune Cookie

This cartoon appeared in newspapers vertically, as opposed to horizontally, as it is shown here, and represents the first time I've ever done that with a panel-shaped cartoon. (I have done it on occasion with the strip format, however.) Readers seeing it in the newspaper had to turn the paper sideways or crane their neck to see it properly. (Why "crane" our necks and never "flamingo" our necks?)

This is a version of an idea that my buddy and occasional writing partner, Phil Witte sent me. His idea was a couple of normal kids being passed in a 3-legged race by a kid with three legs. I liked the idea, but added the twist of his having four legs and having to hold one up, with the nuclear (pronounced properly) reactors in the background. These are typical of the sort of adjustments that are sometimes made to cartoon ideas I get from other people. Other times, I use them verbatim. I love ideas from others, but still write around 85% or 90% of my own jokes.

I also like the subtle addition of his three eyes and the eye on his shirt. I always like to give readers plenty to look at.