Cookie Killer and a Comedy Show

(Make the picture bigger by clicking on Cookie Monster's left eye.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Illegal Immigration.

This is a collaborative cartoon I worked on with my mysterious friend, Richard Cabeza. His original idea was something about a gingerbread man being threatened by Cookie Monster, I developed a scenario and picture for the concept. Turned out nice, I think.

I want to remind regular readers and alert occasional readers that my comedy show is doing a week-long run in NYC soon and I want you all to come. If you can't make it, send someone you know in New York to the show. Without an audience, there is no comedy. With an audience, sides will be split, tears will be shed, lifetimes of memories will be forged. Tickets here.



















(Make the poster big enough to read by clicking the head of Che Guevara)

If anyone knows how to send this poster or an invitation out to all my friends on Facebook without entering the addresses individually, let me know. I can't figure it out.

You're the unicorn in my rainbow,
d

FCBM5 Day 31

It's the final day of the Fifth Annual YACB Free Comic Book Month!

Our final entry is from Steve Myers. The five comics that Steve listed are:

1. Captain America
2. Usagi Yojimbo
3. Incredible Hercules
4. GI Joe: Cobra
5. Agents of Atlas

And his other thing of interest is Spy Shows on tv.

For Steve I have all four issues of the first Middleman mini-series by Javier Grillo-Marxuach & Les McClaine.

For Steve's bonus comic, I'm sending him the Peanuts Halloween comic.

Steve's comics should be in the mail within a week. Enjoy!


That wraps it up for this year's Free Comic Book Month. Thanks to everyone who entered!


Current FCBM Statistics:
31 entries
76 free comics sent so far
0 days remaining -- we're done!

Krakatoa Komedy

Bizarro is brought to you today by Comedy Club Groupies.

Last week, at the National Cartoonists Society's annual convention (weekend of drinking and goofing off), I met Johnny Hart's grandson, Mason, who now works on B.C. since his grandfather's passing in 2007. He's a great kid (I call anyone under 30 a "kid" now) and I wish him lots of success.

He's got big shoes to fill as Johnny was one of the best and most consistent gag writers in the business, as well as being a terrific artist. According to those of my colleagues who "knew him when," he was also quite the party animal and tons of fun to hang out with. By the time I met him he had already undergone his infamous conversion to Christian fundamentalism and was pretty quiet and unassuming. Maybe the booze gave him his personality, I didn't know him well enough to say. I'm sure he was still a great guy, just not a party animal. Still, one can't resist being amused by the irony of a cartoon called, in effect, "Before Christ," having so many strips each year dedicated to Christian biblical messages. In spite of this and his controversial political opinions, he was and still is revered as one of the greats of newspaper cartooning.

I never met the guy who created Fred Flintstone, but I hear he is now in Geico commercials.

FCBM5 Day 30

It's day thirty of the Fifth Annual YACB Free Comic Book Month!

Our next selected entry is from Paul Abbamondi. The five comics that Paul listed are:

1. Scott Pilgrim
2. Dork Tower
3. Bone
4. Watchmen
5. Uncanny X-Men

And his other thing of interest is the tv series Lost.

For Paul I have X-Men: First Class #13-14 by Jeff Parker & Roger Cruz (with back-up art by Colleen Coover!)

For Paul's bonus comic, I'm sending him the Donald Duck Halloween comic.

Paul's comics should be in the mail within a week. Enjoy!


Current FCBM Statistics:
31 entries
71 free comics sent so far
1 day remaining

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Bizarro is brought to you today by Poolside Parking.

Before I contracted Howard Hughes Syndrome and became a hermit, I used to go to a lot of comedy shows and small theater events in NYC. I saw some amazingly strange stage acts, some good, most terrible, but a few tremendously memorable.

One favorite along these lines is the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players, a married couple and their young daughter who show slides they've collected from garage and estate sales while playing songs they've written about them. The kid plays the drums and sings while the dad sings, plays guitar or piano, and the mom operates the slide projector. They are not to be missed if you ever have the chance.

Another highlight is Corn Mo, a guy who plays accordian and other various keyboards and sings odd songs. His demeanor is outrageously sincere for a guy in an old tux with an accordian, like Jimi Hendrix with a squeeze box. Don't miss a chance to see him, either, he really rocks.

CHNW and I used to regularly go to various variety shows and comedy showcases with these kinds of acts and we also got to see a few of the SNL stars as they were coming up. We saw Fred Armisen do a hilarious sketch about self-defense back in '02 or '03 and chatted him up after. We sort of became friends (that is to say that we still chat when we run into each other and he knows my cartoon), before we knew he would be a famous comedy genius on TV. I love that about NYC. (We also saw an early stand-up routine by Tracy Morgan but it was standard stand-up, nothing in the category of the bell-ringer above.)

There are plenty of strange musical and comedy acts like this around NYC and that's why this cartoon appealed to me. The idea was sent by my friend, Derek Malo, and is, in my opinion, one of his better efforts. Because I use ideas by other people on occasion, one commentator on this blog accused Bizarro of becoming like Pluggers, which is a syndicated feature that uses suggestions from readers every day and prints their name and location in a box in the cartoon. The difference between what I do and Pluggers, I think, is that the jokes I choose by other people are actually good. I imagine that readers want a good cartoon, regardless of who wrote it, as opposed to a cartoon by me, whether it is any good or not. Maybe my ego just isn't lopsided enough.

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this afternoon. All the previous caveats apply.

1 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
2 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
3 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
4 (-). Watchmen
5 (-). Time of Your Life (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 4)
6 (N). The Photographer: Into war-torn Afghanistan with Doctors Without Borders
7 (-1). Star Trek: Countdown TPB
8 (-1). The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Vol. 3: Century, No. 1: 1910
9 (-). Mercy Thompson Homecoming *
10 (+22). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
11 (+1). Serenity, Vol. 2: Better Days
12 (-2). Stephen King's Dark Tower: Treachery
13 (N). Warriors: Tigerstar and Sasha #3: Return to the Clans *
14 (N). Final Crisis *
15 (N). Rising Stars Compendium
16 (+4). The Long Way Home (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 1)
17 (-4). Batman: The Killing Joke
18 (-4). V for Vendetta
19 (+10). Y: The Last Man, Vol. 2 (Deluxe Edition)
20 (N). Bleach, Vol. 27 *
21 (-10). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
22 (N). Alan's War: The Memories of G.I. Alan Cope
23 (+1). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
24 (-9). Wolves at the Gate (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 3)
25 (-9). Bone: One Volume Edition
26 (+5). No Future For You (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 2)
27 (+18). Angel: After The Fall Volume 1
28 (+19). The Joker
29 (-4). Blueberry Girl
30 (N). Thor, Vol. 2 *
31 (N). Angel: After the Fall, Vol. 3
32 (N). Rosario+Vampire, Volume 7 *
33 (-12). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
34 (N). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
35 (N). The Gunslinger Born (The Dark Tower Graphic Novels, Book 1)
36 (N). Fables Vol. 1: Legends in Exile
37 (N). Batman: Mad Love and Other Stories HC
38 (N). The Adventures of Tintin: Tintin in America / Cigars of the Pharaoh / The Blue Lotus
39 (-16). Negima!: Magister Negi Magi, Vol. 22
40 (+1). The Complete Persepolis
41 (N). The Walking Dead, Vol. 9: Here We Remain
42 (-24). Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
43 (N). The Marvel Encyclopedia
44 (-8). The Arrival
45 (N). Dark Tower: The Long Road Home (Exclusive Amazon.com Cover)
46 (N). Fables Vol. 2: Animal Farm
47 (+1). Bone Volume 4: The Dragonslayer
48 (-20). The Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes and Nocturnes
49 (N). The Dresden Files: Welcome to the Jungle
50 (N). The Complete Peanuts 1971-1974 Box Set *


* The Photographer: Into war-torn Afghanistan with Doctors Without Borders was featured in the New York Times Book Review, and thus dutifully leaps up into the top 10.

* Another debut, Alan's War: The Memories of G.I. Alan Cope, earlier in the week was way up in the top 5, but I cannot figure out why it had such a strong burst.

* I likewise have no clue as to why the Rising Stars Compendium suddenly charts up.

* The Walking Dead Compendium, which had been a top 10 item the past two weeks, mysteriously falls out of the Top 50 this week.

* The pre-order for the Final Crisis hardcover debuts strong, as does the third volume of Warriors.

FCBM5 Day 29

It's day twenty-nine of the Fifth Annual YACB Free Comic Book Month!

Our next selected entry is from Suzanne Moran. The five comics that Suzanne listed are:

1. Secret Six
2. Green Arrow/Black Canary
3. Fables
4. Birds of Prey
5. Wonder Woman

And her other thing of interest is the tv series 30 Rock.

For Suzanne I have the twelfth issue of Global Frequency by Warren Ellis & Gene Ha.

For Suzanne's bonus comic, I'm sending her the Peanuts Halloween comic.

Suzanne's comics should be in the mail within a week. Enjoy!

There's just a couple of days left to send in your entry for the YACB Free Comic Book Month; details are here.

Current FCBM Statistics:
31 entries
68 free comics sent so far
2 days remaining

Mything the Point

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Post-Closet Veggies.

Since I like to do cartoons based on Bible stories and other common Christian myths, I have been criticized on occasion by atheists who think I am using my cartoons to advance my religious views, and praised at times by Christians who think I am trying to advance theirs. It is hard to imagine a person who would be more likely to believe in a religion because he saw it in the funny papers, but I'm sure they are out there. In truth, I'm doing neither.

I no longer believe the Noah story, of course, but when I was a kid I was taught it was true. As hard as it is to believe, we all know that there are many 21st century adult Americans with high school and college diplomas who are still convinced. I was raised in the Bible Belt and have seen it first hand. (It is also worth noting that most Christians worldwide believe these stories are allegories and not historical accounts.)

Of those who believe the story of Noah's ark is factual, some don't think about it too hard, others perform amazing feats of mental gymnastics to find logical ways in which a person could fit a breeding pair of every single species on the earth onto one boat, along with enough food to keep them all fed for who-knows-how-many months. Others just fall back on the Santa Claus Defense. The Santa Claus Defense is what parents use when their kid asks a logical question like, "How can Santa fit enough toys for every kid in the whole world into one sleigh?" The answer is always, "He's magic." Noah was magic in this same way.

Among my friends in the animal rights movement, some who advocate veganism and believe in the rights of non-human animals, as I do, attempt to reach people who believe in the fundamental truth of Bible stories by finding ways in which the scriptures support the notion that man is "meant" to eat plants, not animals. If you are one of those who are motivated to try this I wish you well, but you can argue scripture with fundamentalists until you are blue in the face because in the end, you are arguing with someone who believes in magic. When that is your premise, you can make up the rules to suit your argument.

I use Bible themes in cartoons because they are well known stories and, since they were written to describe common human dilemmas and traits, are great fodder for cartoons. It is the same reason I use children's fairy tales, Greek myths or famous movie monsters. Most of the time, there is no more complex reason than that.

FCBM5 Day 28

It's day twenty-eight of the Fifth Annual YACB Free Comic Book Month!

Our next selected entry is from Tom Bondurant. The five comics that Tom listed are:

1. Dr. 13
2. Secret Six
3. JLA
4. American Flagg!
5. Nexus

And his other thing of interest is the tv series Arrested Development.

For Tom I have the first issue of Alan Davis's recent Clandestine mini-series.

For Tom's bonus comic, I'm sending him the Peanuts Halloween comic.

Tom's comics should be in the mail within a week. Enjoy!

There's still time to send in your entry for the YACB Free Comic Book Month; details are here.

Current FCBM Statistics:
29 entries
66 free comics sent so far
3 days remaining

I Need More Entries for Free Comic Book Month

The eagle-eyed among you may have noticed that we're now on day twenty-seven of the 5th Annual YACB Free Comic Book Month, and so far I've received twenty-seven entries. Which means that unless I get more entries, there won't be any free comics given out tomorrow :(

So if you haven't entered yet, don't delay! And tell your friends!

Reuben Weekend 2009

Many of you will not be interested in this at all, but here's a quick post about the National Cartoonists Society convention last weekend in Hollywood. I didn't get many pictures, but here are a few.

This first pic is a few of us hanging out in the hotel bar at the Renaissance Hollywood. Which overlooks the old Grauman's Chinese Theater, now called something stupid.











From left to right: Mark Tatuilli (Lio), Jenny Robb (assistant curator of the Cartoon Library at Ohio State University), Stephan Pastis (Oysters Preceeding Pigs), Me (Garfield, Marmaduke), Jim Horowitz (creator of the classic television series, Gunsmoke.)

Here are a few of us at lunch at CHNW's and my favorite mid-LA spot, Real Food Daily. Our other favorite restaurant in all of LA is Madeleine Bistro in Tarzana. There are lots of other good ones, too, though, so don't nobody get offended.









Me (Btam Btam Btam), CHNW (Ashley), Ralph Smith (CHNW's dad, editorial cartoonist and gag writer to the stars), David Silverman (director of The Simpsons.) Cartoonists like to make funny faces for photos.

Here's a shot of us at one of the many cocktail parties. I've been a fan of the guy's all my life and a friend of his for about 15 years. He's a total sweetheart, as you can see from the look on my face.












Sergio Aragones (Mad Magazine, etc.), Jenny Robb (Cartoon Library at OSU), Me (H.R. Pufnstuf)

This brings us to the formal cocktail party outside the awards dinner on Saturday night. Open bar, fancy clothes, lovely weather.













Fred Piraro (my pop), Carol Lee Piraro (my ma), Me (with a cigar stub in my mouth, not a huge, brown swolen lip), CHNW (in a bird and flower headdress of her own design and construction), Ralph Smith (Ashley's dad, ambassador to Tonga, shown here standing on a chair.)

Still at the same cocktail party, taken by a photographer who doesn't know the rule about not having people face directly into the setting sun for the shot.












CHNW and my good friend and business partner, Rey Ortega. You can see the crazy headdress even better here.

Last but not least, here's a shot of Rey as a cyclops.














I'll post more pics later in the week as people send them to me, if there are any good ones and if anyone's interested.

Ciao for now.

Zither Here Nor There

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Rock 'n' Roll Music!

It is weird to think that for most people, by the time you hit middle age, you've made a million dollars cumulatively. Where the hell does it all go?

I wish I'd saved more, invested more wisely, spent less on plastic dust covers for all my furniture and lamps. If I had, perhaps I'd be able to retire by now and spend more time on my real passions, miniature golf and the zither.

For now, I'll just keep plugging away at a cartoon each day and buying lottery tickets. Eventually, it's all bound to pay off.

By the way, this idea came from my friend in LA, Chris Fisher. He works behind the camera in video and film so he gets to hang out with big TV and movie stars sometimes. While working on HBO's "John Adams," he gave one of my books to Paul Giamatti, for which I will be eternally grateful. Here is a candid shot of him sharing it with Laura Linney.

Movie Trailers

Surrogates, based on the comic book:




9:




And now, quite possibly the greatest film of 2009:

FCBM5 Day 27

It's day twenty-seven of the Fifth Annual YACB Free Comic Book Month!

Our next selected entry is from Ge Oh. The five comics that Ge listed are:

1. Invincible
2. BlokHedz
3. The Walking Dead
4. Ghost Tank
5. Scott Pilgrim

And Ge's other thing of interest is music.

For Ge I have the first issue of Chynna Clugston's latest Blue Monday series, Thieves Like Us.

For Ge's bonus comic, I'm sending the Peanuts Halloween comic.

Ge's comics should be in the mail within a week. Enjoy!

There's still time to send in your entry for the YACB Free Comic Book Month; details are here.

Current FCBM Statistics:
27 entries
64 free comics sent so far
4 days remaining

Injuns and Igloos

Bizarro is made possible by the Dick Cheney Institute for Early Childhood Development.

I am back at Bizarro International Headquarters again after a roaring weekend of insanity in Hollywood with my cartoonist colleagues. To those of you who expressed support and disappointment in my seventh consecutive loss of The Reuben Award, thanks a ton. Meanwhile, back in the real world, here are two cartoons since I'm a little behind on posting.

While writing cartoons one day it occurred to me that except for their size, pyramids and igloos look like they are two different models in the same line. Like the sample drawings you'd get in a container of Lincoln Logs. And voila, here's the cartoon. Now I need to do a companion piece about pyramids at the North Pole.

The Indian cartoon below is completely surreal, but I combined Godzilla and the Old West once before and liked the effect, so I tried it again. I confess I did not research the Indians, though, and it was pointed out that I got a few things wrong. The ground looks like the Southwest but Cherokees inhabited the middle-Southeast, and I'm told something about their costumes is wrong. I usually try to avoid mistakes like this but I was likely in a hurry when designing it and maybe even tripping on mushrooms. (CHNW and I are not very diligent housekeepers and have mushrooms and other things growing in our carpets. I sometimes trip over them, causing me to draw the wrong costume within a given context.)

But still, Godzilla and Indians! Hahahahahahahah!!!











(Click these cartoons to make them bigger and funnier)

FCBM5 Day 26

It's day twenty-six of the Fifth Annual YACB Free Comic Book Month!

Our next selected entry is from William Burns. The five comics that William listed are:

1. League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
2. Captain America
3. Incredible Hercules
4. Daredevil
5. Comic Book Comics

And his other thing of interest is Coen Brothers movies.

For William I have the first two issues of Kevin McShane's comic books-as-Hollywood comic Toupydoops.

For William's bonus comic, I'm sending him the Donald Duck Halloween comic.

William's comics should be in the mail within a week. Enjoy!

There's still time to send in your entry for the YACB Free Comic Book Month; details are here.

Current FCBM Statistics:
27 entries
62 free comics sent so far
5 days remaining

FCBM5 Day 25

It's day twenty-five of the Fifth Annual YACB Free Comic Book Month!

Our next selected entry is from Francene Lewis. The five comics that Francene listed are:

1. Chiggers
2. Fullmetal Alchemist
3. Castle Waiting
4. Finder
5. La Perdida

And her other thing of interest is Hayao Miyazaki movies.

For Francene I have the first issue of Rod Espinosa's Prince of Heroes.

For Francene's bonus comic, I'm sending her the Donald Duck Halloween comic.

Francene's comics should be in the mail within a week. Enjoy!

There's still time to send in your entry for the YACB Free Comic Book Month; details are here.

Current FCBM Statistics:
27 entries
60 free comics sent so far
6 days remaining

FCBM5 Day 24

It's day twenty-four of the Fifth Annual YACB Free Comic Book Month!

Our next selected entry is from Kristin Munson. The five comics that Kristin listed are:

1. Castle Waiting
2. Box Office Poison
3. Love & Rockets
4. Rapuzel's Revenge
5. X-Men Classic

And her other thing of interest is "cute, fuzzy animals."

So for Kristin I have the first issue of Banana Sunday, featuring cute monkeys by Paul Tobin & Colleen Coover.

For Kristin's bonus comic, I'm sending her the Peanuts Halloween comic.

Kristin's comics should be in the mail within a week. Enjoy!

There's still time to send in your entry for the YACB Free Comic Book Month; details are here.

Current FCBM Statistics:
27 entries
58 free comics sent so far
7 days remaining

FCBM5 Day 23

It's day twenty-three of the Fifth Annual YACB Free Comic Book Month!

Our next selected entry is from Maude Earhart. The five comics that Maude listed are:

1. Wonder Woman
2. Archie
3. Spider-Man
4. The Far Side
5. Casper the Friendly Ghost

Maude says she's looking for an "If Stan Lee created a When Harry Met Sally kind of thing."

For Maude I have the first issue of Mary Jane, Sean McKeever & Takeshi Miyazawa's recasting of Spider-Man as a high school romance.

For Maude's bonus comic, I'm sending her the Donad Duck Halloween comic.

Maude's comics should be in the mail within a week. Enjoy!

There's still time to send in your entry for the YACB Free Comic Book Month; details are here.

Current FCBM Statistics:
27 entries
56 free comics sent so far
8 days remaining

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this afternoon. All the previous caveats apply.

1 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
2 (+2). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
3 (+2). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
4 (-1). Watchmen
5 (+1). Time of Your Life (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 4)
6 (-4). Star Trek: Countdown TPB
7 (-). The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Vol. 3: Century, No. 1: 1910
8 (+1). The Walking Dead Compendium Volume 1
9 (+6). Mercy Thompson Homecoming *
10 (-2). Stephen King's Dark Tower: Treachery
11 (+3). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
12 (+9). Serenity, Vol. 2: Better Days
13 (-3). Batman: The Killing Joke
14 (-3). V for Vendetta
15 (N). Wolves at the Gate (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 3)
16 (-3). Bone: One Volume Edition
17 (-1). Invincible: The Ultimate Collection Volume 4
18 (+21). Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
19 (N). Achewood Volume 2: Worst Song, Played On Ugliest Guitar *
20 (+8). The Long Way Home (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 1)
21 (+17). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
22 (N). Y: The Last Man Vol. 7: Paper Dolls
23 (N). Negima!: Magister Negi Magi, Vol. 22
24 (N). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
25 (-8). Blueberry Girl
26 (N). Y: The Last Man, Volume 6: Girl on Girl
27 (N). Complete Chester Gould's Dick Tracy Volume 7
28 (-3). The Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes and Nocturnes
29 (-17). Y: The Last Man, Vol. 2 (Deluxe Edition)
30 (N). Wrapped-Up FoxTrot: A Treasury with the Final Daily Strips
31 (+1). No Future For You (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 2)
32 (-1). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
33 (+1). Fullmetal Alchemist, Vol. 18
34 (N). Freedom's Just Another Word for People Finding Out You're Useless (Dilbert)
35 (N). The Perry Bible Fellowship Almanack
36 (-10). The Arrival
37 (+5). Vindication (Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, Vol. 6)
38 (N). The Sandman Vol. 4: Season of Mists
39 (N). Y: The Last Man, Volume 5: Ring of Truth
40 (-3). Serenity, Vol. 1: Those Left Behind
41 (-11). The Complete Persepolis
42 (N). Making Comics: Storytelling Secrets of Comics, Manga and Graphic Novels
43 (-14). Batman: R.I.P.
44 (N). The DC Comics Encyclopedia, Updated and Expanded Edition
45 (N). Angel: After The Fall Volume 1
46 (N). The Sandman Vol. 2: The Doll's House
47 (-20). The Joker
48 (N). Bone Volume 4: The Dragonslayer
49 (N). Superman: New Krypton Vol. 1: Birth
50 (N). The Absolute Sandman, Vol. 1


Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.


Commentary:

* Amazon had another search glitch earlier in the week, which may have had some affect on the sales rankings.

* With Watchmen interest waning, The Wimpy Kid volumes regain their usual dominance at the top of the chart.

* The middle volumes of Y, the Last Man make a surprising surge up onto the chart. The only explanation I can think of is that the people who bought the second deluxe edition last week felt the desire to continue the story immediately and not wait for a third deluxe volumes.

* The Wolverine movie halo has completely eroded.

FCBM5 Day 22

It's day twenty-two of the Fifth Annual YACB Free Comic Book Month!

Our next selected entry is from Justin Fain. The five comics that Justin listed are:

1. Ex Machina
2. The Walking Dead
3. Fables
4. Invincible
5. Kick Ass

And his other thing of interest is live music.

For Justin I have all three issues of Robert Kirkman & Mark Englert's Capes.

For Justin's bonus comic, I'm sending him the Peanuts Halloween comic.

Justin's comics should be in the mail within a week. Enjoy!

There's still time to send in your entry for the YACB Free Comic Book Month; details are here.

Current FCBM Statistics:
27 entries
54 free comics sent so far
9 days remaining

Wooly Minnie

Bizarro is brought to you today by Lip Sniffers.

Dear readers of my blog,

The more observant of you will notice there is more than one cartoon posted today and the more inquisitive of this subset of observant types will wonder why. I'll keep you in suspense no longer by saying it is because I won't be posting for the next few days and wanted to leave you with a little something extra.

I'm on my way to Hollywood this evening, no, not to star in the next Ron Howard blockbuster about the hidden symbols in my cartoons being clues that lead to the identity of Jesus's secret lover, who begat his child, which then led to a series of begatting resulting in none other than founding father, Benjamin Franklin, who left secret clues to a previously unknown companion document to the Declaration of Independence, the Proclamation of Philly Party Spots. Instead, I'm going to the National Cartoonists Society annual convention.

The convention marks the weekend after the fortnight during which hundreds of professional cartoonists from all over North America work their asses off to get ahead on deadlines so they can arrive dead tired and ready for a weekend of irresponsible alcohol consumption. Should be fun.

The cartoons herein are fun, I think. I have fond memories of my own Wooly Willy from childhood, and the time I brought it to school in the sixth grade, it went missing, and I innocently asked the teacher, "Have you seen my Wooly Willy?" The principal later explained to me in the privacy of his office, why this alarmed her.

The Minnie joke is fun for me because it walks a dangerous line of litigation. While parodies are legal, Disney loves to sue–especially when the parodies have sexual connotations. There is no express sexual content to this cartoon, but you have to admit that Minnie has a nice rack.



My next post will be on Tuesday, May 26, I hope to see you all here again then. In the meantime, have a weekend worthy of a sheik.

Your humble servant,
Mr. Piraro

FCBM5 Day 21

It's day twenty-one of the Fifth Annual YACB Free Comic Book Month!

Our next selected entry is from Franco Ippolito. The five comics that Franco listed are:

1. Planetary
2. Iron Fist
3. Incredible Hercules
4. Locke & Key
5. Booster Gold

And his other thing of interest is football.

For Franco I have the first issue of Boom! Studio's Lovecraftian Necronomicon by William Messner-Loebs & Andrew Ritchie.

For Franco's bonus comic, I'm sending him the Peanuts Halloween comic.

Franco's comics should be in the mail within a week. Enjoy!

There's still time to send in your entry for the YACB Free Comic Book Month; details are here.

Current FCBM Statistics:
27 entries
50 free comics sent so far
10 days remaining

Lessons Not Learned from Watchmen

One of the reasons I believe that the Watchmen collection has been a perennial best-seller for over twenty years is the fact that it is complete in one volume. An interested reader can pick up the entire story at once and not have to worry about finding Watchmen Book 2.

But for some reason, DC has been releasing their collections of their limited series in multi-volume chunks. This week sees the release of Rann/Thanagar Holy War, vol. 1, which collects just issues #1-4 (of 8) and the attendant Hawkman Special. The War That Time Forgot, a twelve-issue series, is being released as two separate volumes. And possibly the worst offender of all, Justice, the twelve-issue series from Alex Ross & co., has been released as three separate hardcover volumes (later as paperbacks), each collecting just four issues of the series! If you want the entire series in one volume, your only choice is the $100 Absolute edition.

While there may be some short-term gain for DC in releasing their collections this way, in the long term I think they'd be much better served by releasing an entire limited series together in one volume. Much easier for stores to stock, and much more attractive for readers to get the complete story in one purchase.

The Sound of One Hand Inking

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Singing Monks.

Okay, I admit I don't know anything about Zen Buddhism, but the whole "nothingness" thing is a common conception and cartoons are often built on these, whether correct or not.

Like the Moses cartoon from a couple of days ago; several readers left comments on the inaccuracies of my drawing – from the error of having the burning bush and the ten commandments in the same picture to the fact that Moses is wearing shoes on "hallowed ground." I also got a few emails of this sort.

Being neither a Zen Buddhist nor a believer in the historical accuracy of the Bible, I admit that I don't get very nitpicky about these things. I just draw the cartoon in a way that everyone can understand and move on to the next crushing deadline. I don't mind the corrections, by the way. I'm kind of a trivia buff anyway, so I always enjoy a few more tidbits of knowledge.

In spite of this flippant attitude toward history, I actually do try to be more accurate in my cartoons than do most cartoonists. I research historical costumes and such, to get things mostly right, and often look up what certain objects look like to add that extra bit of convincing detail, even though I'm perfectly capable of an approximation out of my own head. But if the accuracy conflicts with the joke, as it would have in the Moses cartoon, I toss it out and use the common misconception instead. Moses talking to a burning bush is immediately understood; Moses talking to a blinding beam of light would have been widely misconstrued to be a scene from Star Trek.

Of the handful of "Zen" cartoons I've done over the years, here is one of my favorites:

FCBM5 Day 20

It's day twenty of the Fifth Annual YACB Free Comic Book Month!

Our next selected entry is from Edgardo Ortiz. The five comics that Edgardo listed are:

1. Barry Ween
2. Scott Pilgrim
3. Persepolis
4. Alan's War
5. Green Lantern

And his other thing of interest is The Lord of the Rings.

For Edgardo I have the first issue of Aaron Williams' humorous fantasy series Nodwick.

For Edgardo's bonus comic, I'm sending him the Donald Duck Halloween comic.

Edgardo's comics should be in the mail within a week. Enjoy!

There's still time to send in your entry for the YACB Free Comic Book Month; details are here.

Current FCBM Statistics:
27 entries
48 free comics sent so far
11 days remaining

Reap it Good

Bizarro is brought to you today by Dignity in Death.

I draw bar scenes a lot because it is a good setting for people to make pronouncements about their lives, but I usually dread it. When drawn from the customer's point of view, the bottles of liquor are a vexation (though they provide lots of spots for the symbols), and when drawn from the bartender's perspective, there is the problem of the rest of the room.

Occasionally, when I'm not pressured by late deadlines or other things to do, I'll really get into a detailed drawing of a barroom or a city street scene. When I've got the time, I enjoy it. But whether I'm in the mood for it or not, I always do it because I know a lot of my readers like the extra details.

Who cares about these trivial details of your life, Dan? you might ask. As I type this, I'm asking that of myself.

Sorry to have bothered you.

FCBM5 Day 19

It's day nineteen of the Fifth Annual YACB Free Comic Book Month!

Our next selected entry is from Justin Karguth. The five comics that Justin listed are:

1. Comic Book Comics
2. Daredevil
3. Jughead
4. Walking Dead
5. Spider-Man

And his other thing of interest is the tv show Boston Legal.

For Justin I have the first issue of Mark's Waid's brand new supernatural detective series The Unknown.

For Justin's bonus comic, I'm sending him the Donald Duck Halloween comic.

Justin's comics should be in the mail within a week. Enjoy!

There's still time to send in your entry for the YACB Free Comic Book Month; details are here.

Current FCBM Statistics:
26 entries
46 free comics sent so far
12 days remaining

Lion All The Time

Bizarro is brought to you by Animal Planet.

This simple but highly effective pun came from the nobby noggin of my good friend, Cliff, a former pediatrician who now teaches Stanford med students how to intimidate children into remaining still while a stranger jabs them with a long needle.

Cliff is a funny guy with an unusual ability with language. He and I have been collaborating on a sort of comic book written in puzzle form. Cliff writes the puzzles, I do the drawings. It's a metric buttload of work and unless it sells a frillion copies I'll never see much money from it. But such is a life in the arts.

Once published, I am hoping each of my three fans will buy a third of a frillion copies so Cliff and I can eventually be paid for our time. Thank you in advance for your help.

Here is a sneak peak at an illustration from the book, with the puzzle removed. We don't want anyone stealing our mojo. To enlarge it, click the thumb of the cowboy at left.

FCBM5 Day 18

It's day eighteen of the Fifth Annual YACB Free Comic Book Month!

Our next selected entry is from Paul S. The five comics that Paul listed are:

1. Sandman
2. Black Hole
3. Ice Haven
4. Percy Gloom
5. Watchmen

And his other thing of interest is heavy metal music.

For Paul I have the one-shot Lucifer: Nirvana by Mike Carey & Jon J. Muth.

For Paul's bonus comic, I'm sending him the Peanuts Halloween comic.

Paul's comics should be in the mail within a week. Enjoy!

There's still time to send in your entry for the YACB Free Comic Book Month; details are here.

Current FCBM Statistics:
26 entries
44 free comics sent so far
13 days remaining

FCBM5 Day 17

It's day seventeen of the Fifth Annual YACB Free Comic Book Month!

Our next selected entry is from Jordan Lyall. The five comics that Jordan listed are:

1. New Avengers
2. Thor
3. Captain America
4. Amazing Spider-Man
5. Batman

And his other thing of interest is the Los Angeles Dodgers.

For Jordan I have the first three issues Spider-Man/Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do by Kevin Smith & Terry Dodson.

For Jordan's bonus comic, I'm sending him the Peanuts Halloween comic.

Jordan's comics should be in the mail within a week. Enjoy!

There's still time to send in your entry for the YACB Free Comic Book Month; details are here.

Current FCBM Statistics:
26 entries
42 free comics sent so far
14 days remaining

Bible Balloonery

(For a more enlightening view, click Moses's beard.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sacred Loungewear.

Climbing mountains is hard. Stone is heavy. Climbing mountains with big stone tablets has got to be a real buzzkill. And this was before backpacks and comfortable hiking boots. Imagine climbing down a mountain wearing a bathrobe and slippers, carrying a slab from the sidewalk. Yet Moses did this for God because God didn't want to go all the way down to the bottom of the mountain and give the ten commandments to the Israelites Himself and have to deal with all the hubbub what with people fainting and wanting autographs and all. Moses was a true friend.

But it just seems that balloons would have been easier for Moses to deal with on that climb. And attention grabbing, too. Nothing grabs everyone's attention like walking into a room with ten shiny, Mylar balloons. Maybe next time.

FCBM5 Day 16

It's day sixteen of the Fifth Annual YACB Free Comic Book Month!

Our next selected entry is from Steve Wass. The five comics that Steve listed are:

1. Green Lantern
2. The Walking Dead
3. New Avengers
4. Mighty Avengers
5. Sgt. Frog

And his other thing of interest is target shooting.

For Steve I have the first issue of Joe Casey & Andy Suriano's Charlatan Ball.

For Steve's bonus comic, I'm sending him the Peanuts Halloween comic.

Steve's comics should be in the mail within a week. Enjoy!

There's still time to send in your entry for the YACB Free Comic Book Month; details are here.

Current FCBM Statistics:
26 entries
38 free comics sent so far
15 days remaining

Spongerobert Quadrilateraltrousers

Bizarro is brought to you today by SpongeKim Roundpants.

I liked this joke when I wrote it a couple of months ago and I still like it today. If I like it when I'm on my deathbed, my life will not have been in vain.

"At least I wrote a good joke about an anthropomorphic cleaning utensil back in '09," were the artist's last words.

People say this Spongebob show is entertaining, even for adults, but I've never seen it. I've always heard that sponges are breeding grounds for bacteria, though, so if I had small children I think I'd be uncomfortable letting them play with him.

Big 'nuts

This special edition of Bizarro has been made possible by a generous dose of Real Life.

I got the idea for this cartoon from seeing a picture of Randy's Donuts in Los Angeles. From there, I leapt to the not-uncommon belief that aliens helped build some of the wonders of the ancient world like the pyramids and soforth, and arrived at this joke.

A day or two after it ran in the paper, I got a nice email from a couple of groovniks whose last name is "Oh," and who had used this pic of themselves for their holiday card one year. I asked if I could post it on my blog and they said no, but I did it anyway because I am an inconsiderate ass. One of the fringe benefits of having no money or assets is that you don't care if people sue you.

I changed the name of the donut place because I figure Randy is famous enough without my help. How could you not be famous with a huge donut on your roof?

(NOTE: I lied. My new friends, the Ohs, did give me consent to post this picture of them so I am not the inconsiderate ass I pretended to be above. Please go back to thinking of me as a role model of civility and compassion.)

Right to Reflect Arms

Bizarro is brought to you today by Excellence in Engineering.

I've been lagging a bit behind in my posts this week because I'm busy trying to get my deadlines covered for an upcoming trip to the left coast. Next weekend is the National Cartoonists Society's annual convention and awards dinner, and this year it is in Hollywood. We have it in a different city each year, a tradition started a little over 25 years ago. Before that, it was always in New York, since it started in the early 1900s. Can't remember the year, no time to look it up.

The convention is fun and mostly an excuse for those of us in this relatively rare business to get together to drink more than we normally do and commiserate about deadlines, editors, the failing newspaper industry, and whichever of our lousy colleagues just got a TV or movie deal even though our work is WAAAAY funnier than theirs.

We also dress up in tuxedos and evening gowns, give each other awards for various types of cartooning and pretend we're at the Oscars. Yes, I've worn an evening gown as well as a tux, as have many other cartoonists.

The convention isn't as wacky as it many might think, though. Most professional cartoonists are fairly nerdy introverts with a few notable exceptions like Mort Walker (Beetle Baily) who is high on mushrooms most of the time and has been dressing like a Roman centurion since the late 80s.