Friday 23 October 2009

We Are All Hitler


Bizarro is brought to you today by The Truth.

If there is one thing the children of America are learning it is that if you don't like something, compare it to Hitler. I wish I had known this when I was a kid. So many times I was told to go to my room and think about what I'd done (just like Hitler used to do to the Jews!) and even though I was angry and felt I was being treated unfairly, I did not know to compare my parents to Hitler. Live and learn.

The political discourse in our beloved U.S. of A. has become so ludicrous that it can barely be satirized. Still, I hope I've done a decent job here. The sort of things some Americans are teaching their children with the dreck they plaster on signs and march up and down the streets with is appalling, and we will all suffer the consequences of these drones when they grow up and inflict their warped sensibilities on society in more robust ways. Many will even have their own TV shows.

I think most Americans are still relatively sensible and don't equate Obama's efforts to help people other than the uber-rich with Hitler, but they don't get the media coverage. So it's the media's fault. The media are Hitler.

To be honest, I'm not sure who is Hitler, but I'm sure he's out there. Lurking, waiting to make his move. Get ready for mandatory mustaches, people.

NOTE: Good news at Bizarro Headquarters: I did not die yesterday afternoon. So there will be no theories about whether yesterday's post was a prophecy or a suicide note in disguise. I'm not planning to leave the house today, increasing my chances of living another 24 hours, so everyone can relax. If I get to feeling woozy or anything, I'll post an emergency paragraph or two before I call 911. Stay tuned.

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this morning. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
2 (+3). The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb
3 (-1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
4 (-1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
5 (-1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
6 (+1). The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks
7 (-1). Logicomix: An Epic Search for Truth
8 (-). Predators and Prey (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Vol. 5)
9 (+1). Watchmen
10 (+2). Stitches: A Memoir
11 (-2). Bloom County Complete Library Volume 1
12 (N). R. Crumb's Heroes of Blues, Jazz, & Country
13 (+17). 14 Years of Loyal Service in a Fabric-Covered Box: A Dilbert Book
14 (+12). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
15 (+29). Masterpiece Comics
16 (-). V for Vendetta
17 (+4). Dilbert: 2010 Day-to-Day Calendar
18 (+11). Absolute Death
19 (+1). Mercy Thompson Homecoming
20 (R). The TOON Treasury of Classic Children's Comics
21 (+17). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
22 (N). Simon's Cat
23 (+9). Batman: The Killing Joke
24 (-6). Asterios Polyp
25 (-3). The Walking Dead, Vol. 10: What We Become
26 (-11). Naruto, Volume 46
27 (N). Jack of Fables Vol. 6: The Big Book of War
28 (-5). The Cartoon History of the Modern World, Part 2: From the Bastille to Baghdad
29 (R). The Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes and Nocturnes
30 (+3). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
31 (N). Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds HC *
32 (+5). The Best American Comics 2009
33 (-6). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
34 (-6). Batman: Year One
35 (-21). The Complete Peanuts 1971-1974 Box Set
36 (-17). Tumor Chapter 1 (kindle)
37 (R). Astonishing X-Men Omnibus
38 (R) Parker: The Hunter
39 (N). The Wolverton Bible
40 (+7). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
41 (-6). Marvel Encyclopedia
42 (-11). The Complete Persepolis
43 (+5). The Arrival
44 (-2). The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz HC
45 (N). Captain America: Road to Reborn *
46 (N). Maximum Ride: The Manga, Vol. 2 *
47 (N). B.P.R.D. Volume 11: The Black Goddess *
48 (N). Scientific Progress Goes 'Boink': A Calvin and Hobbes Collection
49 (-9). The Umbrella Academy: Dallas
50 (-14). Stephen King's Dark Tower: Treachery


Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.

N = New listing appearing on list for first time
R = Item returning to the list after having been off for 1 or more weeks


Commentary:

* Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days fell to #4 on the overall bestsellers list (due in some part to the Amazon-Walmart book price war which is pushing some hardcovers down to just $9) but that's still plenty enough to keep it at #1 on the Comics & Grpahic Novels chart. The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb is at #16 on the overall chart, while the other Wimpy Kid volumes check in at #43, #51 & #64.

* Following on the heels of his Bible adaptation, R. Crumb's Heroes of Blues, Jazz, & Country is the highest debut at #12. The Wolverton Bible pops in at #39, no doubt also riding the underground-cartoonist's-bible-adaptation zeitgeist.

* Simon's Cat, apparently a cartoon book based on a series of YouTube videos, debuts at #22; the latest Jack of Fables debuts at #27 & Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds debuts at #31. Four more collections peek in with debuts near the bottom of the list.