Friday 21 August 2009

Phonetic Vision of the Future

Bizarro is brought to you today by Stiff People.

Like most modern people in industrialized nations, I wear glasses and take the eyesight they afford me for granted. I didn't need them until I was 38 and my ophthalmologist told me that almost no one makes it past 40 without needing glasses. Apparently, that's just how long human eyes typically last before warping.

Up until relatively recently, however, glasses were not available to most people. So, the vast majority of our ancestors who lived beyond 40, lost their ability to read or do tiny detailed work and walked around in a blurry, ill-defined world. What a fuzzy drag.

I, for instance, occasionally lose the microscopic screw that holds the arm of my glasses to the frame and have to replace it. I can't wear my glasses while doing this, of course, and it is nearly impossible to line up the holes, get the screw in and tighten it without being able to see it clearly. And though I don't need my glasses for driving or getting around the house, I cannot read or draw without them, so if I did not have access to them, my career (and also my favorite pastimes) would be down the toilet.

Part of the story is that most people didn't live much beyond 40 until recently, and, once dead, weren't using their eyes anyway. But those who did live longer were just out of luck. Michelangelo, for instance, lived to be in his 90s and one can track the deterioration of his eyesight through his work. He did this in his twenties, and this in his eighties.

If humans last on this planet, and that's a formidable "if," I wonder what sort of current hardships that we take for granted will amaze our descendants.

Blog of the future: "Up until relatively recently, if people wanted to reproduce, they actually had to squeeze babies out of their bodies. I, for instance, don't have a uterus or vagina, so I would have had to find a woman who was willing to..."

Who knows?

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this afternoon. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days *
2 (+1). Mercy Thompson Homecoming *
3 (+8). Fables Vol. 12: The Dark Ages
4 (-2). The Walking Dead, Vol. 10: What We Become
5 (-1). Watchmen
6 (+1). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
7 (-2). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
8 (-2). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
9 (-). The Complete Persepolis
10 (-2). Asterios Polyp
11 (+1). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
12 (+2). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
13 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
14 (+4). Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
15 (-5). Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? Deluxe Edition
16 (-5). Time of Your Life (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 4)
17 (-1). Parker: The Hunter
18 (-1). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
19 (+14). American Born Chinese
20 (+16). The Complete Peanuts 1971-1974 Box Set *
21 (+7). V for Vendetta
22 (+17). Fun Home
23 (+9). The Complete Maus: A Survivor's Tale
24 (-5). Batman: The Killing Joke
25 (+4). Batman: Year One
26 (-). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
27 (+18). The Complete Peanuts, 1973-1974 *
28 (+12). Green Lantern: Rebirth
29 (-4). Green Lantern: The Sinestro Corps War, Vol. 2
30 (R). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
31 (+12). The Boys, Vol. 4
32 (N). New Avengers Vol. 11: Search for the Sorcerer Supreme *
33 (-10). Angel: After the Fall, Vol. 4
34 (+8). Wolves at the Gate (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 3)
35 (+13). No Future For You (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 2)
36 (-12). Green Lantern: The Sinestro Corps War, Vol. 1
37 (-2). Mouse Guard Volume 2: Winter 1152
38 (N). Dark Avengers Assemble (Dark Avengers, Vol. 1) *
39 (R). Lost Girls Hardcover Edition
40 (-13). Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451: The Authorized Adaptation
41 (R). The Arrival
42 (-12). Green Lantern: Rage of the Red Lanterns
43 (R). The Joker
44 (N). Making Comics: Storytelling Secrets of Comics, Manga and Graphic Novels
45 (R). Serenity, Vol. 2: Better Days
46 (N). Invincible, Book 11: Happy Days *
47 (R). The Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes and Nocturnes
48 (-2). Bone: One Volume Edition
49 (R). The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Vol. 1

Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.

N = New listing appearing on list for first time
R = Item returning to the list after having been off for 1 or more weeks


Commentary:

* The new Fables volume jumps up into the top five, while the new Walking Dead volume remains up there as well. Both have recently been picked up as potential tv series; perhaps a bunch of actors looking to get a leg up on the properties prior to casting calls? Of course, both comics have well-established track records as comics that appeal to the non-Wednesday crowd and that many people prefer to read in collections, which make them prime candidates for strong Amazon sellers.

* Mercy Thompson Homecoming inches ever so closer to the top of the list as it nears its release date next week. It's been creeping up the list for quite some time now, indicating that there will be a good number of copies going out next week to Amazon customers. (Maybe the publisher will make enough money to pay their freelancer payment backlog?)

* The University Effect continues, with Maus, Persepolis, Watchmen, & Understanding Comics all remaining in the top ten or rising up towards it.

* Two of the three new titles this week are pre-orders of Avengers hardcovers from Marvel, showing that a few Marvel fans are willing to wait a few extra weeks in order to get the sizable Amazon discount. The only other new item is the latest volume of Invincible, also in pre-order; if Image/Kirkman can successfully wage a 'from the creator of The Walking Dead' campaign, maybe it will see greater success in the coming weeks?