Creepy Bedtime

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by the Internal Revenue Service. "Your fear is our living."

I usually post cartoons one week later, but somehow I got out of order earlier this week so this one is from the day I missed. Does anyone care? Me thinks not.

Little Danny Piraro was a big proponent of the not-hanging-anything-over-the-edge-of-your-bed-lest-something-
grab-it theory of childhood bed behavior. More than once, I was certain I heard something under the bed. I wasn't the sort to believe in monsters (my parents always taught me there were no such things as monsters and ghosts, but there was a devil in Hell and millions of flying people with halos in Heaven – mixed message?) but I was concerned about murderers who might sneak into the house and wait for me to go to bed. Without my hanging a hand or foot over the edge, they'd be powerless, of course, and have to sneak out of the house in defeat.

Danny 1 Murderer 0

Gimp Goat Gets Gift!

My good friends and cohorts at Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary are on the front page of the Metro section of today's New York Times! Here is the more legible online article.

What they didn't mention is that we have over a hundred animals under our care, we offer fun and friendly tours all Spring and Summer (are those words supposed to be capitalized? I think not, but it always seems to me that they deserve it. Winter, no, but Spring and Summer? HELL yes!) and that we are raising money to build a small medical facility for our critters. At present, Doug and Jenny are treating these guys in the foyer of their home. What a drag. Click here for info on how to toss a couple dollars at a good cause. I can personally guarantee that every penny of your dough will go to the critters. No misappropriation of funds here, I assure you!

Here's a dandy picture of the original board members who built the farm, along with many valuable and saintly volunteers. From left to right, Sergio La Vaca (star of Spanish children's TV show, "El Mono Loco!"), CHNW, Jenny Brown with Robin the chicken, Dawn Ladd with Brandy the rooster, Doug Abel with Elmo the pitchfork, and Haley is the shy goat in the back.

Come visit us this year and meet the critters. You won't be sorry and you'll have a little less bad karma to burn off when you die.

Four to Read for Thursday, May 1

* Sara Ryan: Stumptown 2008

* The Comics Reporter: CR Newsmaker Interview: Charles Brownstein of the CBLDF

* SpaceWesterns.com: The Battlestar Galactica Code: The Last Cylon

* Rivkah: When to Start. When to Quit. (via Chris Mautner)

FCBM4 Day 1

It's day one of the fourth annual YACB Free Comic Book Month!

Our first selected entry is from Dexter Roberts. The five comics that Dexter listed are:

1. 100 Bullets
2. Scalped
3. Criminal
4. Jack Staff
5. Locke & Key

Dexter seems to be a fan of crime comics, so for Dexter's free comic I'm choosing:

The first issue of Steven Grant & Mat Santolouco's 2 Guns, a cops & robbers comic with a twist.

For Dexter's bonus comic, I'm sending him the Iron Man ashcan.

Dexter's comics should be in the mail within a week. Enjoy!

There's still time to send in your entry for the YACB Free Comic Book Month; details are here.

Current FCBM Statistics:
8 entries
2 free comics sent so far
30 days remaining

Rock Star Proximity

If you would like to know what it is to feel extra groovy, go see an Old 97s concert. I became a fan of theirs years ago and they're one of my perennial favorites.

The lead singer and main songwriter is Rhett Miller (right, with goofy cartoonist), who also has a solo recording career and regularly does solo/acoustic concerts at small venues in NYC and elsewhere. At one such show a few years ago, a friend of mine who'd met Rhett before introduced us and it turned out Rhett had been a fan of Bizarro since college. Since then, we have been drastically in love with each other. Our wives don't mind.

CHNW and I saw Rhett doing a solo show last Saturday night in NYC at the Hiro Ballroom, and hung out with him and his gang after the show (his wife is from Ohio and a big group of Buckeye's were in town for a birthday celebration.) We had a dandy time, indeed.

In addition to partying with the rock star, we met the infamous Barber Brothers, three guys from Ohio. The craziest Barber by far, is the one they call "Dave," seen at left between me and CNHW. (Note: None of us is as gay as we look in the pic. Not that there's anything wrong with that.) It was, in fact, Dave who sent these photos of the festivities. Thanks, Dave!

If you like music that is fun to listen to and does not suck, I recommend checking out Old 97s older stuff, and their new album, too. Rhett played a few songs from the new album last Saturday and they were the exact opposite of terrible.

My secret hope is that they'll let me join them on stage someday to sing lead vocals on one of their old standards. I used to be the front man for a band in the 80s and still sing songs in my comedy shows. I still haven't lost it – in fact, I'm a better singer than even Rhett. Ask anyone.

Nothing's Free

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Puns International. "A day without orange Jews is like a day without punshine!"

The basic idea for this cartoon came from an odd character up in Rhode Island who calls himself Derek. He writes cartoons all the time and sends me seemingly thousands every couple of hours. If you've sent me an email recently that was returned because my inbox was full, it was likely one of Derek's massive submissions that did it.

Most are pretty good, but not appropriate for Bizarro, for one reason or another. But when I spot one I can use, I like to give it breath, and this is one of those. Because puns are the simplest and most common form of humor, I tend to shy away from them unless they are very strange, terrifically unexpected, make me laugh out loud, or are in some other way unique. This one hit me as very funny, and still does. Hope you like it, my bloggy buddies.

Oh crap, after writing all that I just noticed this isn't really a pun. Why did I think that?

Allentown This Weekend!

Lady and gentleman, boy and girl,
I'm going to be dozing behind a table at the Philly Non-Sports Trading Card Show this weekend in Allentown, PA. Please come see me. Really. Please. (Why is the Philly card show in Allentown? Come to the show and find out!)

I'll be selling my new Bizarro Trading Cards, as well as my books and some one-of-a-kind sketch cards. I'm also doing a presentation on Saturday afternoon which will be as much like a comedy show as possible in a brightly-lit hotel conference room in the middle of the afternoon.

"Why are you doing this, Dan?" the creepy voice inside my head is saying. Because contrary to popular belief, "rich" does not always go with "famous." I'm a little famous now and then, here and there, but if I were rich would I be sitting behind a folding table all weekend signing stuff?

YES! Because I LOVE THE FANS! So come see me, and tell me you found out about it on this blog and I'll give you a peanut! If I have one.

LINK FOR CARD SHOW






P.S. Click on this image for a larger version. The note at the bottom of the ad refers to comics shops who carry cards. You can buy a sketch card from me at the show, which I will draw in front of your eye. Both eyes, if you like.