Pool of Death

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by the fine people at Styx Limousine Service. "We'll see you across the river in style." (previous, less popular motto: "Just shut up and get back in the box, you stiff.")

The Grim Reaper is a popular cartoon subject for good reason. A lot can be said about the human condition by the way we are escorted to the "other side."

This cartoon doesn't say anything about that, however, it's just a simple twist on the Bergman motif of playing chess with Death. (Or was it Pictionary? It's been a long time since I've seen that film.)

A reader emailed me when this ran and asked, "Why is the guy worried? The Grim Reaper is going to chop himself in the back as soon as he shoots."

Good point. But GR is already dead, so the worst that could happen is he rips his nightgown and maybe whacks his neck out of joint a bit. Nothing a chiropractor and a tailor couldn't fix.

Check out my fancy coloring job on the human's face as it fades behind the table light. It gives a sense of depth, right? These are the little extras you get from Bizarro that most features don't bother with. I spare no expense to pamper and entertain you, my precious reader.

All I really want in life is the approval of strangers.
Your devoted cartoonist pal,
P

Three to Read for Late July

* all kinds of stuff: Owen Fitzgerald and His Descendants (via Dirk)

* Dave Ex Machina: “When Fascism Comes to America it Will be Wrapped in White Plastic Armor and Carrying a BlasTech E-11 Blaster Rifle” — Sinclair Lucas (via Kevin)

* San Diego Union-Tribune: The comic chronicles, a la Ariel Schrag – it's the story of her life in high school (via Dirk)

Jail Bait

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Double Entendre Wine.

This is a gag that would not have flown 15 years ago. Newspapers have always been very conservative about the kind of humor that appears on their comics pages. I can't blame them, they know that children read the comics and many parents don't want to be faced with answering what they consider to be difficult or embarrassing questions over the breakfast table. I'm happy to report, however, that in recent years they have loosened their standards somewhat.

I was always honest with my daughters, no matter what they asked, and found that they always accepted my answers casually and moved on unharmed. Contrary to what many parents fear, children do not become promiscuous because they know what sex is, or homosexual because they are aware of its existence, or drug addicts because someone explained to them what marijuana was when they were "too young." Knowledge of a behavior or lifestyle is not what makes a person choose that path for themselves.

More simply, what I've always wondered is why a parent feels they must answer a question they are not comfortable with. If my precocious 3-year-old asked me what this cartoon was about and I didn't want to go to the trouble to explain the concept of penis envy, I'd just say, "I'm not sure. I don't get it either." I suspect that 100% of children would then say, "oh," and forget about it. This seems like a much more logical approach to the situation than writing to the newspaper editor about how offended you were that such a pun was included in the comics page. Choose your battles, that's all I'm saying. And be honest with your kids, then have faith that they'll make good decisions. That's another thing I'm saying.

I did this with my kids and both of them are well adjusted, productive adults. At least they were before they went to prison and I have no reason to believe they won't be when they get out.

Guest Cartoonist

I normally don't write about Bizarro cartoons until they are a week old, but I want to address the "guest cartoonist" situation going on this week in newspapers a across the globe.

For a syndicated cartoonist responsible for 365 new cartoons per year, for as long as his/her career lasts, there are no vacations. For us to have time off, we have to write twice as many jokes for a given amount of time, draw, color, and format twice as many images, then rush out the door. When we get home, we race to catch up again because we used all our available ideas to get out the door, but now x amount of new ones are due again. It's a white-hot hell.

Some cartoonists will publish reruns, but unless your feature is widely considered indispensable, like Doonesbury or Peanuts, editors don't like to publish reruns and will frequently sub your feature out for someone else's, either permanently or until you get back to work. The market is so competitive these days that a smart cartoonist doesn't dare let that happen. Some syndication companies just ban the practice entirely.

Recently, some artists have gone to the "guest artist" system, which is a great alternative. I get my much-needed time off, another artist gets some exposure, the readers get a glimpse of a new artist they might otherwise have never come across.

Francesco Marciuliano, whom I chose as my sub this week, is a good friend and a brilliant and prolific humorist. The guy writes Sally Forth (I know, it's not typically at the top of a Bizarro reader's list, but read it a few times and see if he doesn't do an amazing job of breathing life into what is essentially a formula family strip) an Emmy-winning children's show for cable (can't remember the name of it – Binky and Floofloo? Invisible Playmate in My Pants? How Drunk is Uncle Rick?), as well as a clever blog, brilliantly funny essays, and a fair amount of stand-up comedy. My own personal favorite of Ces' myriad accomplishments, however, is his online comic, Medium Large. All of this, and he's as quiet and humble as a church mouse. And almost as furry.

Hope you like what Ces (pronounced: chez) did for this week. I'll be commenting on them daily next week. Here's one that didn't make the cut. (must be over 16 to read this one)

Be groovy, be well, B vitamins.

Piercing Limits

(click to enlargerate)

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Back At Headquarters. "It's good to be home!"

Just got back from the San Diego Comic Con and a couple of parties in L.A. I'll blog about those later.

For now, here is a dandy little cartoon ditty from Sunday a week ago. I like this idea and am happy with the drawing, but I'm wishing now that I'd made the car keys on his ear more obvious, or drawn them differently somehow. They could get lost in some of the newspapers where they print Bizarro small.

Which brings up a pet peeve: why do so many papers put Garfield all huge and monumental on the front page of their Sunday pages, then relegate cartoons like mine, with elaborate art and relatively complex ideas (that's not saying much for newspaper comics) to smaller bits of real estate deeper in the section? Garfield is simply drawn, commercially produced by a committee of trained surrogates, and read primarily by small children who have yet to develop critical skills capable of discerning much beyond the texture of their SpahettiOs. If I ran a newspaper comics section, I'd feature art and commentary by artists who aren't phoning in their work from their corporate jet. But that's just me.

On another subject, I'm a guy with tatts (six) and piercings (one in each ear) and who appreciates any attempt at individuality. I will admit, however, that those whose number of piercings rival the number of their skin pores, disturb me just a bit. I'm particularly disturbed by people who have something the size of an SUV's hubcaps crammed into a flaccid loop of flesh at the bottom of their ear. I'm a little squeamish about the human body in general and deliberate deformities creep me out a bit. Tongue piercings creep me out even more. It just looks like it would hurt.

Tattoos hurt and I have no aversion to those, so I guess I'm just being a baby. We all have our reservations and limits, I guess.

New Library Comics: Week of July 21, 2008

Here's a list of the comics we added to our library collection last week:


Angst : the best of norwegian comics vol. 1 / Oslo, Norway : Jippi Comics : No Comprendo Press, 2007-

Arnold, Monroe. Reagan's raiders no. 1 / Brooklyn, N.Y. : Solson Publications, c1986-

Azuma, Kiyohiko. Azumanga Daioh omnibus / Houston, Tex. : ADV Manga ; 2007.

Bagge, Peter. Apocalypse nerd / Milwaukie, Or. : Dark Horse, 2008.

Baillie, Liz. My brain hurts vol. 1 / Bloomington, Ind. : Microcosm Pub, 2007-

Best erotic comics 2008 / San Francisco, Calif. : Last Gasp ; London : Turnaround [distributor], 2007.

Biff bam pow! no. 1 / San Jose, CA : Amaze Ink/SLG Publishing, p2007-

Bray, Glenn. The original art of Basil Wolverton : from the collection of Glenn Bray / San Francisco, Calif. : Last Gasp ; Santa Ana : Grand Central Press, 2007.

Chackowicz, Howard, 1969- Howie : action comix / Montréal : Conundrum Press, c2008.

Dembicki, Carol. Mr. Big / [United States] : Little Foot Publishing, [2008]

Discovered : sequential art anthology 2007 / Savannah, Ga. : Savannah College of Art and Design ; 2007.

Drechsler, Debbie. Daddy's girl : comics / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, c2008.

Dupuy, 1960- Haunted / Montréal : Drawn & Quarterly ; New York : Distributed in the USA by Farrar, Straus, and Giroux, 2008.

El Rassi, Toufic. Arab in America : a true story of growing up in America / San Francisco, Calif. : Last Gasp, 2007.

Farr, Michael, 1953- The adventures of Hergé, creator of Tintin / San Francisco : Last Gasp of San Francisco, c2007.

Gaiman, Neil. Signal to noise / Milwaukie, Or. : Dark Horse, 2007, c1989.

Gipi, 1963- Questa è la stanza / Bologna : Coconino Press, c2007.

Goulart, Ron, 1933- Good girl art / New Castle, Pa. : Hermes, c2007.

Gumby collected vol. 1 / Walnut Creek, Calif. : Wildcard Ink, 2007-

Hernandez, Jaime, 1959- The education of Hopey Glass / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, 2008.

Hotwire comix. vol. 1 / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, c2006-

Irving, Christopher. Peter Bagge / Raleigh, NC : TwoMorrows, c2007.

Kimjin. Kingdom of the winds vol. 1 / Glendale, Calif. : Netcomics, c2008-

Koyama-Richard, Brigitte. One thousand years of manga / Paris : Flammarion, c2007.

Levin, Bob. Most outrageous : the trials and trespasses of Dwaine Tinsley and Chester the Molester / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, 2008.

Mahfood, Jim. Stupid Comics vol. 1 (Phoenix Edition) / Berkeley, Calif. : Image Comics, 2008-

Martinson, Lars. Tōnoharu. part one / Minneapolis : Pliant Press 2008

Mauldin, Bill, 1921-2003. Willie & Joe : the WWII years / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics Books, c2008.

McCarthy, Tom, 1969 May 22- Tintin and the secret of literature / London : Granta, 2006.

Myhre, Lise. Nemi / London : Titan, 2007.

Orbit. no. 1 / Forestville, Calif. : Eclipse Books, c1990-

Schrag, Ariel. Awkward and Definition : the high school comic chronicles of Ariel Schrag. / New York : Simon & Schuster, 2008.

Snejbjerg, Peter. Marlene / San Jose, Calif. : Slave Labor Graphics, 2006.

Takemiya, Keiko, 1950- Andromeda stories vol. 1 / New York : Vertical, c2007-

Ware, Chris, 1967- Thanksgiving : five prints from The New Yorker / Chicago : Acme Novelty, 2007

Wolverton, Basil. Agony and ecstasy / New York : Pure Imagination, c2007.

Yokoyama, Yuichi. New engineering / Brooklyn, NY : PictureBox, c2007.



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Obsessive Humor

Bizarro is brought to you today by Censorship International. "Hey! You can't do that!"

As I mentioned yesterday, I accidentally left my current cartoons at home so I'm using stuff that is on my laptop, hence the date of this cartoon.

This is one that never ran in the papers because it was feared that people with OCD would rise up against newspaper editors all across the land and cause trouble for me. One might be tempted to say, "Don't give in, Dan. To hell with them if they can't take a joke." But editors don't like losing a day of work answering angry emails, letters and phone calls and may decide to replace Bizarro with a less controversial clone. That would be bad for me. So this isn't really censorship as much as it is my personal editor advising me against it and me agreeing.

I experienced a bit of this last week when I ran a cartoon about dyslexia. I didn't lose any papers over it (that I know of), but some folks complained. I have OCD and dyslexia in my family (and a touch of OCD myself) so I feel I have the right to poke a little fun at me and mine. Humor is an age-old human device for getting through tough times and situations, so I am not as sensitive about it as many people apparently are. God knows that vegans get regularly grilled in humor venues of all kinds, but I take it with grain of salt (or a salt lick) and laugh at myself and my kind. My folks taught me that. Laughing at ridicule and teasing takes the fun out of it for the other guy, and the sting out of it for you.

The blog is good for this kind of cartoon, which will likely never see wider publication. Glad I had this opportunity to share it with you, hope no one has taken time off from checking the door locks and stove handles to get offended.