Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Martin Blais Air Guitars."Getting high with guitars since 2003."
This cartoon is a collaboration between myself and San Francisco cartoonist and stand-up comic, Michael Capozzola. The original idea was his, I just jazzed it a bit so I wouldn't feel bad putting my name on it.
Having been in a band years ago and in many "green rooms" over the decades, I really enjoyed drawing this and trying to capture the look and personality of the various "musicians." Clearly, these guys are stuck in the 70s, but then those were my teen years so it makes it more fun for me to draw. The brilliant film, Spinal Tap, was about the kinds of guys who ruled the rock world when I was young.
My own band was part of the New Wave movement of the late 70s, early 80s, which more-or-less grew from refinement of punk rock, which was in direct rebellion to the hair bands. We looked like this.
My good friend and unbelievable comic genius, Will Franken, is performing one of his surreal one-man shows at Ars Nova in Manhattan next Wednesday night. This is a rare treat and one that, should you attend, you will be so glad I told you about that you will send me a nice fruit basket. I'm serious, I've seen this guy perform over a dozen times and it is never any less amazing than the time before. He is a phenomenon, no other way to put it.
Today's Bizarro is dedicated to the memory of George W. Bush's credibility. Born, Sept 11, 2001 – Died, sometime thereafter, or never existed in the first place, depending on how perceptive you are.
Okay, I'm not going to get all political about how Bush's Chickenhawk Posse led us into a personally lucrative war against a red herring and ignored the folks who took down our towers. (I'm not one of those who think it was literally an inside job, sorry.) Or that he continues to ignore them and chase billions in profits at the expense of virtually every American citizen and millions of other folks around the world, and that John McSame agrees with him and will carry that torch further.
Instead, let's talk about how odd this idea is. I don't know where it came from, but I got a giggle when it passed by the cartoon picture window in my mind and thought I'd pass it on to you guys. I still like it weeks later, so that's a good sign.
I think this humor seed germinated from my memory of hearing the word "guerrilla" on the news when I was a kid in the late 1900s, and asking my parents why American soldiers were killing gorillas in Vietnam. From that amusing recollection, I jumped from synapse to synapse until I got to this scene in a cave in Afghanistan. (Presumably Afghanistan. We may never know where the hell Bin Laden is because our president has more important interests.)
Adding to the weirdness of this, a person emailed me the day this appeared in the paper, and said that Koko was making the American Sign Language symbol for "I love you." What? Get out! Stop it!
Apparently that is true, but I didn't know anything about sign language other than how to fake it when I'm feeling un-PC and grasping for lowbrow humor. I just made up gestures thinking the odds against them meaning anything were a blazillion to one. A stupid mistake, and not the first I've made in a comic.
So if you've been wondering: No, the "I love you" sign was not meant to be some subliminal message to terrorist sympathizers. I mean, geeez. It's not like I drew them engaged in a "terrorist fist jab" or something.
I like it when a cartoon or post generates a lot of debate, as yesterday's did. I'd like to mention a few things about my post and chose to do it here instead of in the comments so that it would not be missed.
I agree with most of the comments left, there are many people whose disability is not visible and whose legitimate health problems led to their obesity. I recognize that and was not speaking of those folks. Over a dozen of both my wife's and my family are overweight, several are morbidly obese, which is the state of most Americans. And, like most Americans, none are this way as the result of disability or lack of education or choices. All are this way because, as is human nature, they want what they want and they don't care what the consequences are until it is too late. I'm not immune to this thinking, either, and certainly have my problems with things I want that may not be in my health's best interest. It takes a lot of discipline and/or conviction to overcome our tasty, convenient, deadly American lifestyle.
America has become a singular nation of laziness and lack of personal responsibility. Yes, our politicians and corporate overseers are at fault for leading us here, but it isn't exactly a secret where we are and what it is doing to us. We just refuse to give it up.
So it is to most Americans with no good excuse for their poor health that I speak, not those with legitimate disabilities or legitimate reasons for their weight difficulties.
My apologies for not making that clear, and thanks for all the input. I love honest debate.
Most decent people are angered when they see an able-bodied person parking in a handicap space. (Is "able-bodied" the PC term for the non-disabled nowadays? I can't keep up.) I am one of those who experiences revulsion when I see such a thing. But when I stop to think about it, I almost never see a legitimately disabled person using a handicap parking space. I don't mean never, I mean almost never.
The overwhelming majority of people I see squeezing out of their cars in handicap spots are obese, or have no visible disability at all. Not being able to stop eating is now a legal disability. I drink too much, can I get a permit for my car? Seems like it would behoove society to let drunk drivers park up front so they don't have to circle the lot too many times. Now, before you start accusing me of being bigoted toward fat folks, let me say I am not saying that they are bad people. But they have chosen to disable themselves and I question our society's decision to reward that with an opportunity to burn even fewer calories.
Medical costs go up for all of us when a large part of society chooses to abuse itself. That's why there are helmet laws. If someone wants to ride without a helmet and gets killed, that's natural selection. But if they are disabled for life and society has to pay for it, that's a decision by one person that costs the rest of us a fortune in the long run.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for making things easier for those who don't have it as easy as most. For folks whose physical capabilities have been compromised without their consent or control, I say let them park up front. Let them parkin the mall. Let them drive from store to store and shop through their window, most American shopping malls have plenty of room for this. But for the rest of our lazy, undisciplined nation, let them walk a few yards, maybe burn off a calorie or two.
In Asia, I've seen tiny people over ninety years old carrying a stack of firewood up a hill in their bare feet and not breaking a sweat. An alarming number of Americans can barely pick up the phone to order a triple-cheese-meat-lover's pizza without needing a six-pack of cold Pepsis to bring their temperature back down. What's wrong with this picture?
We've all been insulted by uppity sales clerks or receptionists from time to time. When I was younger and more insecure, it used to really piss me off. Now, I'm relieved to say, I let it roll off me with a smile.
Let's say I'm strolling through Nieman Marcus (which, in and of itself, would mean that a dirty bomb had detonated near my home and I could not return without purchasing a radiation-proof hazmat suit and that was the only store within 1000 miles selling them – but for the sake of argument, let's just say I'm in that hellish place shopping) and I ask a clerk how much a pair of white socks are and he says, "$225," and I say, "For a pair of socks? For real? Do they talk or have a stock portfolio or something?" and the clerk gives me snooty look and says, "They're Donna Karan," and walks away smugly.
In my youth, my face would have flushed as though I had been slapped and I would have shouted, "If you could afford $225 socks you wouldn't be working here, you prick!"
But now that I'm older, wiser and more secure, in the same circumstance I would simply tap the clerk politely on the shoulder, shake his hand and with a smile on my face say, "I've got crabs and I never wash my hands."
My hairline notwithstanding, maturity has many rewards.
Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Martin Blais Air Guitars. "Getting high with guitars since 2003."
