Victim of Parody

(WARNING: If the above cartoon seems blurry and/or difficult to read, seek medical attention immediately. Or, just click on it and look at a larger version.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Citizens Who Wonder Who The Hell is Francesco Marciuliano and Why Does He Deserve So Many Vowels In His Name?

About a month ago, I took a week off from my 365-new-cartoons-a-year-for-23-years schedule and another cartoonist filled in for me. He did seven cartoons, but this Sunday panel printed many weeks later than the Monday through Saturday ones, because my own production schedule isn't in sync.

This parody of the children's book classic, The Little Prince, seems innocuous enough at first glance, but apparently possesses a seedy underbelly that is roiling with controversy. Read this letter sent to the editor of a major North American newspaper:

We once called the comic strips the funny pages. Why are they no
longer funny? The bulk of the current offerings are negative, some
verging on the abhorrent. In this latter category, I place this
feeble attempt at humor. At best, it elicits a sigh of disgust. At
worst, it mocks The Little Prince, the wartime masterpiece by Antoine
de Saint-Exupery. This runaway world best seller may be understood on
several levels. It captivates as a children's tale. It symbolically
tells the story of creation. At its peak, it is the autobiography of
a sensitive and lost soul dedicating his work to a dear friend in need
of consolation. The friend is cold and hungry in Nazi-occupied
France, while the author is safe in New York. Lines for the story
appear in every book of quotations. "It is only with the heart that
one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." (The
original French is even more beautiful.) Writing like that deserves
better treatment than an ill-considered distortion.

I've seen many such letters over the years from readers who did not like the way I treated a religious or political topic, but never one about a piece of literature. I never quibble with a person's opinion of a creative effort, we all have our individual opinions and perspective, which is part of what makes art interesting. But as a humorist, I don't feel that any topic is above parody under the right circumstances.

I also wonder who this reader sees as the victim of this "ill-considered" act. I don't believe in victimless crimes. To me it is simple: no victim–no crime. That's why I don't believe in laws against things like gay marriage, marijuana, physician-assisted suicide, or parody. Imagined victims are a big part of our society, however. I've gotten many letters over the years from people who object to my putting the hidden stick of dynamite in my cartoons for fear it will "give ideas to terrorists". If a terrorist is getting his ideas from the funny pages, he's much more likely to be a danger to himself than to any of us.

All this aside, the most curious line in the letter is this one: We once called the comic strips the funny pages. Why are they nolonger funny?

Since when have newspaper comics ever been funny?

iAmerican Too

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Cartoons That Are Sure To Attract Complaints, Inc.

Earlier this week I railed against obese people who take up handicap parking spots. It started a pretty rambunctious exchange in the comments section, which I think is a good thing.

Many criticized me for being everything from bigoted against fat folks to insensitive to those with disabilities. It was pointed out that many people have injuries or conditions that are not visible, which cause them great pain or immobility which leads to overweight because of their inability to exercise. All these points were well stated and I both appreciated them and took them to heart.

Here's another cartoon about the expanding growth of Americans and a chance to address some of the same topics. While it is true that there are people who, through no fault of their own, have health issues that lead to inactivity the overwhelming majority of overweight Americans become so because they eat too much of the wrong foods. We can argue that this is the fault of McDonalds commercials, but I don't buy that any more than blaming cigarette companies for lung cancer. These days, if you don't know what part of your lifestyle is killing you, cigarettes and Big Macs may not be your biggest problem. (Speaking of smoking vs. meat-eating, food-related heart disease kills far more people each year than smoking-related illness. And that doesn't count the myriad cancers suspected to arise from meat and dairy consumption. No single Internet link that I know of shows this comparison, but I'm sure there are some.) In short, the media has led us to believe that tobacco is the most lethal legal substance in our culture. The truth is that animal products are.

So eating too much of the wrong foods will kill you. This adds to our national health costs and also contributes to the amount of energy we consume. It takes more gas to haul around a carload of chunky Americans than thin ones. The more you eat, the more packaging you throw away, and on and on.

There is also no denying that this is an almost uniquely American problem. People from other countries come here and are shocked by the ubiquitous landscape of huge people. Families with no history of obesity move to the U.S. and their children grow up huge. Other nations import more American food products and their average weight and health costs rises like Old Glory on July 4th. (Nice metaphor, yes?)

According to a recent U.N. report, animal agriculture is one of the top two contributors to global warming, alongside energy production. Cars, trucks, airplanes, trains, all transport combined is a distant competitor. So when if you eat food that causes you to be overweight, you are contributing to many more problems than just your own health. And none of that mentions the suffering and unnecessary death of billions of innocent beings who, in our shortsightedness, aren't enough like us to warrant legal rights.

I'm not bigoted against fat folks, I have many friends and family members who are everything from chunky to obese, and I love them for who they are. But it is impossible for me to turn a blind eye toward an epidemic of self indulgence that causes so much damage on so many levels. Obesity is reaching epidemic proportions in the U.S. and I, for one, would like to see that addressed publicly on a daily basis and curtailed, the way cigarette smoking was when I was a kid.

I promise that tomorrow's blog will be more about humor and less preachy. Here's a ridiculous picture to get you by until then.

Friday Night Fights: Supergirl vs. Robot

From Super-Team Family #11 (1977). Written by Gerry Conway. Drawn by Alan Lee Weiss & Josef Rubinstein. (click pic for larger)

Ladies Night? Ka Whamm!

Windy Guitars

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Martin Blais Air Guitars. "Getting high with guitars since 2003."

This cartoon is a collaboration between myself and San Francisco cartoonist and stand-up comic, Michael Capozzola. The original idea was his, I just jazzed it a bit so I wouldn't feel bad putting my name on it.

Having been in a band years ago and in many "green rooms" over the decades, I really enjoyed drawing this and trying to capture the look and personality of the various "musicians." Clearly, these guys are stuck in the 70s, but then those were my teen years so it makes it more fun for me to draw. The brilliant film, Spinal Tap, was about the kinds of guys who ruled the rock world when I was young.

My own band was part of the New Wave movement of the late 70s, early 80s, which more-or-less grew from refinement of punk rock, which was in direct rebellion to the hair bands. We looked like this.

Comedy in NYC

Hey, comedy-loving adults in the NY area:

My good friend and unbelievable comic genius, Will Franken, is performing one of his surreal one-man shows at Ars Nova in Manhattan next Wednesday night. This is a rare treat and one that, should you attend, you will be so glad I told you about that you will send me a nice fruit basket. I'm serious, I've seen this guy perform over a dozen times and it is never any less amazing than the time before. He is a phenomenon, no other way to put it.

Do it now.

I'll be there. If you see me, say hello.

Tittering Terrorists

Today's Bizarro is dedicated to the memory of George W. Bush's credibility. Born, Sept 11, 2001 – Died, sometime thereafter, or never existed in the first place, depending on how perceptive you are.

Okay, I'm not going to get all political about how Bush's Chickenhawk Posse led us into a personally lucrative war against a red herring and ignored the folks who took down our towers. (I'm not one of those who think it was literally an inside job, sorry.) Or that he continues to ignore them and chase billions in profits at the expense of virtually every American citizen and millions of other folks around the world, and that John McSame agrees with him and will carry that torch further.

Instead, let's talk about how odd this idea is. I don't know where it came from, but I got a giggle when it passed by the cartoon picture window in my mind and thought I'd pass it on to you guys. I still like it weeks later, so that's a good sign.

I think this humor seed germinated from my memory of hearing the word "guerrilla" on the news when I was a kid in the late 1900s, and asking my parents why American soldiers were killing gorillas in Vietnam. From that amusing recollection, I jumped from synapse to synapse until I got to this scene in a cave in Afghanistan. (Presumably Afghanistan. We may never know where the hell Bin Laden is because our president has more important interests.)

Adding to the weirdness of this, a person emailed me the day this appeared in the paper, and said that Koko was making the American Sign Language symbol for "I love you." What? Get out! Stop it!

Apparently that is true, but I didn't know anything about sign language other than how to fake it when I'm feeling un-PC and grasping for lowbrow humor. I just made up gestures thinking the odds against them meaning anything were a blazillion to one. A stupid mistake, and not the first I've made in a comic.

So if you've been wondering: No, the "I love you" sign was not meant to be some subliminal message to terrorist sympathizers. I mean, geeez. It's not like I drew them engaged in a "terrorist fist jab" or something.

Yesterday's Handicap Post

I like it when a cartoon or post generates a lot of debate, as yesterday's did. I'd like to mention a few things about my post and chose to do it here instead of in the comments so that it would not be missed.

I agree with most of the comments left, there are many people whose disability is not visible and whose legitimate health problems led to their obesity. I recognize that and was not speaking of those folks. Over a dozen of both my wife's and my family are overweight, several are morbidly obese, which is the state of most Americans. And, like most Americans, none are this way as the result of disability or lack of education or choices. All are this way because, as is human nature, they want what they want and they don't care what the consequences are until it is too late. I'm not immune to this thinking, either, and certainly have my problems with things I want that may not be in my health's best interest. It takes a lot of discipline and/or conviction to overcome our tasty, convenient, deadly American lifestyle.

America has become a singular nation of laziness and lack of personal responsibility. Yes, our politicians and corporate overseers are at fault for leading us here, but it isn't exactly a secret where we are and what it is doing to us. We just refuse to give it up.

So it is to most Americans with no good excuse for their poor health that I speak, not those with legitimate disabilities or legitimate reasons for their weight difficulties.

My apologies for not making that clear, and thanks for all the input. I love honest debate.