Oscar Picks

My sure-to-be-wrong Oscar picks:

Picture: Slumdog Millionaire
Actress: Kate Winslet
Actor: Mickey Rourke
Sup Actress: Penelope Cruz
Sup Actor: Heath Ledger
Director: Gus Van Sant
Adapt Screenplay: Frost/Nixon
Orig Screenplay: Milk
Animated: WALL-E
Art Direction: Benjamin Button
Cinematography: Slumdog Millionaire
Costume Design: Milk
Editing: Slumdog Millionaire
Foreign Film: The Class
Makeup: Benjamin Button
Score: Slumdog Millionaire
Song: "Down to Earth"
Sound Mixing: Slumdog Millionaire
Sound Editing: Slumdog Millionaire
Visual Effects: Benjamin Button
Animated Short: Presto
Live Short: Manon on the Asphalt
Doc Feature: Man on Wire
Doc Short: The Conscience of Nhem En

These picks of course reflect who I think will win, not necessarily who I think should win...

Monkey Covers

Sunday is Monkey Covers day here at YACB. Because there's nothing better than a comic with a monkey on the cover!

It's gorilla vs. mini van on the cover of Journal de Tintin #851 (1965?).

(Standard disclaimer about motor vehicle-hating gorillas not really being monkeys applies.)


Image courtesy of the GCD. Click on the image for a larger version.

Greek Freaks

(Jonesin' for a bigger picture? Click it like a red-headed stepchild.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Zeus, King of the Gods.

What man wouldn't want to be a centaur? You'd have all of the benefits of a human upper body – dexterity, human intelligence, a good place to hang a nice shirt – plus all the benefits of a horse's entire body: speed, strength, majesty, great kicking, hung like a...

You'd have an advantage in almost any sport (exceptions: skiing, snowboarding, cycling, auto racing [not really a 'sport', per se, in my opinion] skydiving [not a 'sport' either], hockey, soccer, pole vault, diving, swimming, bowling [not a sport], tennis, racquetball.) Okay, you'd have an advantage in a few sports like football, basketball, kickboxing, baseball [maybe], and all running events. But even without sports, it would still be so cool to be able to gallop like a horse, tower above crowds, and kick the crap out of anyone who made "horse's ass comments."

Being a satyr would not be as much fun, maybe no fun at all. I can't think of many advantages of being part goat. I like goats, I just don't want to be one. Yes, satyrs have a tremendous sexual appetite and sex is often considered fun, but how many women are willing to throw down with a goat?

And pretty much nobody would want to be the third brother. No advantages there whatsoever, unless you're just really into pecking. I think that guy would need a centaur brother just to keep him from getting the stuffings beaten out of him.

Last Words

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Two Too Hairy.

I've seen a lot of self-referential cartoons over the years with various gimmicks that use cartoon balloons as props within the scene or characters that make reference to the borders, etc., and I've done a handful myself. In general, cartoons like that can be too "easy," so I only do them when I think I have a concept that is interesting enough to make it worthwhile. I think this one passes that test; some will disagree with me, of course. (See comments section under "Anonymous.")

I like the fact that this has multiple layers: the victim's last words, the caption balloon stabbed into his back, the reference to the 911 call which would have been the same as the victim's last words. For super-genius readers, like those who frequent this blog, the whole thing falls into place instantly, you smile and snort, count the secret symbols and move on to "Cathy." But for some readers, this cartoon was confusing enough to write to me and ask what it meant. Here is an excerpt from one such email:

"Huh?"

So here is the full explanation of this cartoon:
A guy in a cartoon calls 911 and says, "Help! Someone is using my own words against me!" Because he is in a cartoon, his words appear in a balloon above him with a pointer that designates the speaker of the words contained within. Apparently, as guy #1 utters these words, guy #2 (not pictured) is, in fact, grabbing that same caption balloon and stabbing the caller with the point of it, thus using his own words against him. All of this happens before the scene pictured. As we join the unfortunate cartoon character, now presumably dead, the police cartoon characters have already arrived, one of whom exclaims with his own cartoon balloon that he now understands the peculiar 911 call, "Help! Someone is using my own words against me!"*

Simple.

*This cartoon is fictional and is not meant to represent any actual events or persons. No actual characters were harmed in the making of this cartoon. All characters, both explicit and insinuated, are entirely constructed of lines and color and do not exist in biological form. Your computer screen is an electronic device for personal use and is not a window into another world or alternate reality.

Friday Night Fights: Mr. Masago vs. the chefs of Shinto Pete's

From Johnny Hiro #2 (2007). Story and art by Fred Chao. (click pic for larger)

One panel? Lobster!

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this afternoon. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (+1). Watchmen
2 (-1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
3 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
4 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
5 (-). Watchmen (hardcover)
6 (-). Batman: R.I.P.
7 (+2). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
8 (-1). Scott Pilgrim Volume 5: Scott Pilgrim vs The Universe
9 (-1). Batman: The Killing Joke
10 (+2). The Joker
11 (+6). All Star Superman, Vol. 2
12 (-1). V for Vendetta
13 (-3). The Walking Dead, Vol. 9: Here We Remain
14 (-1). Serenity, Vol. 2: Better Days
15 (+3). Batman: Year One
16 (-2). Watchmen (Absolute Edition)
17 (+12). Secret Invasion
18 (+1). Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 1: Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life
19 (+7). The Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes and Nocturnes
20 (N). Naruto, Volume 38 *
21 (N). Naruto, Volume 39 *
22 (N). Naruto, Volume 40 *
23 (+2). Naruto, Volume 35
24 (N). Naruto, Volume 41 *
25 (-9). Wolves at the Gate (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 3)
26 (+5). Naruto, Volume 36
27 (+9). The Dresden Files: Welcome to the Jungle
28 (+16). Watching the Watchmen: The Definitive Companion to the Ultimate Graphic Novel
29 (+1). Naruto, Volume 34
30 (-6). The Hidden Temple (Star Wars: Legacy, Vol. 5) *
31 (+15). Mercy Thompson Homecoming *
32 (-12). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
33 (N). Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 2: Scott Pilgrim Versus The World
34 (N). DMZ Vol. 6: Blood in the Game
35 (-20). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
36 (-8). Crown Of Horns (Bone)
37 (-15). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
38 (+10). The Long Way Home (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Vol. 1)
39 (N). Wanted
40 (-7). Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
41 (-6). Barack Obama Amazing Spider-Man #583 Flag Cover Variant Third Printing
42 (-19). Serenity, Vol. 1: Those Left Behind
43 (-11). The Complete Persepolis
44 (N). Fables Vol. 1: Legends in Exile
45 (N). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
46 (N). Unmanned (Y: The Last Man, Vol. 1)
47 (-4). No Future For You (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 2)
48 (N). Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 3: Scott Pilgrim & the Infinite Sadness
49 (N). Bleach, Volume 26 *

Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.


Commentary:

* Watchmen finally breaks into the top spot. The hardcover remains at #5, and the absolute edition also maintains strong sales. Even the Dave Gibbons retrospective gets some pre-movie love, jumping up 16 places.

* Four new Naruto pre-orders land on the chart, bunched up in the early-twenties. The only non-Naruto manga to make the charts is a pre-order of Bleach, eking in at #50.

* A couple of Vertigo perennials resurface near the bottom of the chart--the first volumes of Y, the Last Man and Fables. (Y made an appearance on this week's episode of Lost, as Hurley was seen reading a Spanish-language edition.)

Three Amigos

Bizarro is brought to you today by Lethal Lingerie.

I'm not one to poke fun at people who are different, deformed, or disabled, but three-headed people always make me giggle.

I often wonder which position I would want if I was part of a tri-noggin organism. The outside positions would have slightly more privacy and better access to the nearest arm, but the middle position would feel a natural authority, balance and inclusion in any conversation.

In the negative category, the middle would have no privacy whatsoever and might be prone to feelings of claustrophobia, as well as being caught literally in the middle of any arguments between the outer two. The outer positions could feel excluded if the middle and opposing head spent too much time conversing, or should decide to keep secrets. An additional drawback of the middle head would be having to wait your turn for certain tasks like brushing your teeth or shaving, as the outer heads would presumably have the option to service themselves first.

But another positive for the center melon would be protection from objects approaching from the side, a definite advantage in a bar fight.

One also wonders who controls singular tasks like bending at the waist, sitting, breaking into a run, etc. If an outside head tries to sit without telling the other two, one imagines the body falls to that side as the leg bends. If he should decide to run without alerting the others, he might well run in a circle. But what if the middle head attempts to bend over quickly, as when dodging a flying shoe at a press conference, for instance, and the other two are unaware of the attempt? Does the middle head give itself whiplash?

So many questions, all answered in the upcoming autotriography. Pre-order yours now.