Cowboyz II Men

Bizarro is brought to you today by Cowboys in Tight Pants.

Many readers under a certain age won't recognize "high noon" as the old west cliche that it is, but I can't do anything about that.

When I was a kid in the late 50s and early 60s, most TV shows, movies and toys aimed at boys were about cowboys and the old west. With the advent of the space race and the cold war came the switch to space shows and toys in the mid-60s. Everything has been sci-fi since then it seems, with a bit of fantasy and superheroes thrown in. I'm not complaining, just observing.

A long-winded way of saying that I still like to do cowboy gags. This shot is of me backstage before hosting a Reubens Awards Show a few years ago. All hat, no cattle.

Homeschool Maelstrom

Thanks for all the thoughtful comments on yesterday's cartoon about homeschooling.

A few notes:
I've never known a homeschooling family, so the post was entirely off the top of my head and intended to be humorous and cynical, not accurate. I threw in some self-deprecating language at the end to that effect for good reason. I'm sure there are plenty of disparate examples of homeschool grads, bad and good, crazy and sane.

I moderate my comments, which means they don't post until I read them and approve or reject them. That explains why none showed up until this morning. Sorry for the delay, but it's the only thing I've found that keeps away the losers who verbally attack the other commenters. I reject almost nothing, except personal attacks that have nothing to do with the blog or cartoons and advertising links.

I actually wish I'd been homeschooled by cool, open-minded parents who dragged me all over the city and countryside to learn about the real world, as one of the commenters described. I went to Catholic school through 7th, then public school, so my degree of social and psychological warp is fairly average.

I don't envy parents trying to find a decent way to educate their kids these days. It's important and difficult. I sent my kids to public magnet schools, which I felt was a good combination of public and private schooling.

Yes, the links in the photos are from AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com. Amazing site.

Heroes of Homeschooling

Bizarro is brought to you today by Homeschooling.

I have no doubt that the end of this sentence will get me in trouble with some of my readers, but homeschooling creeps me out. Sure, some homeschooling parents and home schooled children are probably fine. But most of them have to be a shade on the wrong side of psycho.

First, from what I've gathered in the extremely limited exposure I've had to the subject, most parents who choose homeschooling do so because they are religious nuts. That is to say that they don't want ideas outside of their own religion taught to their children. This is the sort of person who looks at their child more as a VCR they are programming than as an organic being with a mind of his own. Good luck with that.

I'm guessing there are also people who do it because they don't think the local schools are providing a good enough education for their kids. Fine, no argument. When my kids were school age, I, too, often suspected that many of their teachers were not all that good. In fact, I knew it. I'm sure that some of them couldn't correctly answer a single question in the first round of Jeopardy!. But I also knew that if I didn't get my kids out of the house for a large part of each day, it was going to end in a murder/suicide of some sort. I figured whatever educational edge the occasional half-ass teacher wasn't providing them, peer pressure and access to recreational drugs would make up for.

Finally, what could better prepare a person for dealing with the cruelty, mediocrity and gang-mentality of a world run by humans than 12 years of public school? When you're not putting up with a dull-witted bully, you're kowtowing to the chowderhead in authority and trying to avoid personal embarrassment by acting like you know what you're doing. Sounds like real life to me.

That's my authoritative, albeit uneducated opinion for today, now read the lengthy comments explaining how wrong I am. :)

Do You Want to Get Video Dated?

Dating Montage
by smithy00101

Snowjob

Bizarro is brought to you today by Marketing.

Whenever I've done satires of the famous "ascent of man" illustration in the past, I've gotten comments or emails from creationists. I'm guessing this one won't elicit the same response, but one never knows. This cartoon isn't about religion or science, of course, it's just a humorous take on a famous graphic.

If you click on the drawing, it will open a larger image of it and you'll be able to see that the first stage is a snowflake. Not that it matters.

Until next time...Enjoy your weekend and tell them that I said you could.

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this morning. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days *
2 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
3 (+2). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
4 (+4). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
5 (+1). Stitches: A Memoir
6 (+4). Watchmen
7 (-4). Mercy Thompson Homecoming
8 (+7). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
9 (+4). Fables Vol. 12: The Dark Ages
10 (+1). Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
11 (-4). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
12 (+6). The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb *
13 (+1). Asterios Polyp
14 (R). Batman: The Killing Joke
15 (-6). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
16 (-12). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
17 (-). Batman: Year One
18 (+4). The Complete Peanuts 1971-1974 Box Set
19 (-3). The Complete Persepolis
20 (-8). The Walking Dead, Vol. 10: What We Become
21 (-1). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
22 (+3). Parker: The Hunter
23 (-). Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? Deluxe Edition
24 (+22). Angel, Volume 5: Aftermath *
25 (+10). Yotsuba&!, Vol. 6
26 (-5). Batman: The Long Halloween
27 (N). Fullmetal Alchemist, Volume 20
28 (-). V for Vendetta
29 (+20). Predators and Prey (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Vol. 5) *
30 (+2). American Born Chinese
31 (N). The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz HC
32 (+6). Time of Your Life (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 4)
33 (-3). The Complete Peanuts, 1973-1974
34 (N). Classic G.I. Joe Volume 5 *
35 (-11). The Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes and Nocturnes
36 (-7). The Stonekeeper's Curse (Amulet, Book 2)
37 (R). The Manga Guide to Calculus
38 (R). The Sandman Vol. 3: Dream Country
39 (R). Angel: After the Fall, Vol. 4
40 (-14). Fun Home
41 (-22). The TOON Treasury of Classic Children's Comics
42 (R). The Very Silly Mayor *
43 (+4). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
44 (-2). The Arrival
45 (-18). Tumor Chapter 1 (Kindle)
46 (N). The Best American Comics 2009 *
47 (N). The Surrogates
48 (R). Stephen King's Dark Tower: Treachery
49 (-4). Bone: One Volume Edition
50 (R). The Boys, Vol. 4

Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.

N = New listing appearing on list for first time
R = Item returning to the list after having been off for 1 or more weeks


Commentary:

* The University Effect is pretty much done, and the four Wimpy Kid volumes sit atop the list, where I suspect they will reside for quite some time.

* The highest debut belongs to the latest Fullmetal Alchemist volume at position #27. The highest manga on the list is Yotsuba&!, two places higher at #25; it continues to climb the chart as more people discover its awesomeness. Rounding out the manga is the return of The Manga Guide to Calculus.

* The second highest debut belongs to Marvel's The Wonderful Wizard of Oz adaptation, and one of their Dark Tower volumes also returns to the list. IDW score a debut on the list with a batch of former Marvel comics with the latest Classic GI Joe collection. Too bad none of those 5000 Marvel-owned characters that Disney are acquiring make the list anywhere...

* Down near the bottom of the list, the soon-to-be-a-major-motion-picture-starring-Bruce-Willis The Surrogates hops onto the mainstream radar. I suspect that most people seeing the movie will have no clue that it was originally a comic book.

Super Homelife

Bizarro is brought to you today by 3 Wishes.

I know it doesn't seem likely that Superman would just be wearing his costume around the house for no reason, but then again, the guy is from outer space, so who knows what he would do?

I like imagining Superman in middle age. Does he get a paunch and start looking like Homer Simpson in a Superman suit? Sure, he's handy as hell when there's a jar to be opened, but as in any marriage, does he eventually get on Lois's nerves? Does she get sick to death of flying through the air tucked under his arm so they can save money on airfare? Does she keep a little piece of kryptonite hidden in her jewelry box to keep him in line when he gets too uppity?

I'm not up on my Superman factoids enough to know if he even ages. I suspect he doesn't, or if he does it is far slower than do humans. So is it like one of those vampire/human marriages (see HBO's Trueblood) where the woman gets old and haggardly and the man always looks like a stud? How's that going to play out? Inevitably, people are going to think he's kissing his mother on the mouth. Eww.