Que Sero Sero

Bizarro is brought to you today by Clean Skin.

As longtime readers of this blog know, I suffer from chronic depression. My whole family does, except for my younger brother, whom the rest of us killed during Christmas dinner a few years ago. We just couldn't stand all that damned jolliness.

For those of you who are not biologically inclined, serotonin is the crap in your brain that makes you happy. So in medical terms, if you don't have enough of it or the spigot that connects to your serotonin vat is clogged, you get depressed for seemingly no reason. That's why antidepressants were invented. Not really to make everyone happy, just those of us with a rusty vat faucet, and not happy all the time, just normal most of the time.

They work pretty well for me, with a few side effects, all of which are more tolerable than feeling like the world is coming to an end in the next few minutes for no discernible reason.

I envy people with a lot of natural serotonin. Envy is a vast improvement over what I used to feel for them, which was contempt and deep, deep hatred. With the help of antidepressants and meditation, I've found that I'm actually a happy, easygoing person trapped in the body of an *sshole. (Thank goodness I can afford my pills. Lots of people can't, but helping them pay for it would turn this country into Russia and we can't have that.)

No need to leave encouraging comments or send consoling emails, I'm fine now and enjoying life as much as the next guy. And he's got easy access to an average amount of serotonin.

Until next time...even a journey of 1000 miles begins with several frustrating hours on the Internet looking for the cheapest flights that leave at a decent hour and don't have a layover in Atlanta.

I Am a Twit

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Joy of Fatherhood.

Twitter is sweeping the nation and not a moment too soon, the nation is a mess. (Get it? "Sweeping" can also mean using a broom to tidy up.)

Twitter is using a broom to tidy up the nation and thank goodness. I was wondering when I would be able to read the random thoughts of random people in 140 characters or less. Like most cynical, too-cool-for-school hipsters, I eschewed Twitter, thinking it bourgeois and therefore, beneath me.

But then a friend talked me into trying it and now I'm hooked. Not hooked the way "the kids" these days are, writing random thoughts down hour by hour and reading the random thoughts of others. I just write something once a day or so and read a few of the Tweets of people I'm following. And not hooked the way a fanboy might be, drooling over Kim Kardashian's report about her trip to the dry cleaners. (I don't know if Kardashian is a Twit or not, so I went to Twitter and searched her name. I found millions of Tweets mentioning her name, one of which led to this link, for some odd reason. So there is some valuable information to be found on Twitter.)

I started Twirping a few weeks ago, mentioning my daily blog topic or something funny I'd seen or thought of. It's kind of fun and a few of the people I follow have interesting links in their Twaps, too.

All I'm saying is, I could live without it but I can see the fascination. Like chartreuse.

If you want to follow me on Twitter, my Twat is pirarobizarro. It's free, there's no obligation, and no representative will call. What are you waiting for? Grab a broom and join us. The nation needs sweeping.

Monkey Covers

Sunday is Monkey Covers day here at YACB. Because there's nothing better than a comic with a monkey on the cover!

Grodd unleashes against The Flash on the cover of Flash #193 (2003) by Scott Kolins.

(Standard disclaimer about super-intelligent gorillas not really being monkeys applies.)


Image courtesy of the Comic Book DB. Click on the image for a larger version.

Sunday Puzzler Key

(To view this cartoon oh-so-much-bigger, just click it with your mousy)

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Important Fashion Advice.

Because I am a person who has always enjoyed a good puzzle or game, today's Bizarro cartoon is a puzzler. The three different frames are each individual jokes, written in puzzle form. To find out the answers to the puzzles, click the links below.

Left Frame
Middle Frame
Right Frame

Let me know if you enjoyed this cartoon motif, as my friend Cliff and I (see previous blog to learn about Cliff and his unique difficulties) are thinking about doing this again sometime in the future. We might even publish a whole book of these. Would that appeal to you? Choose one of the following:
A. Yes.
B. Yes, I would buy 100 copies and convince 100 of my closest friends to do the same.
C. No, things don't appeal to me.
D. None of the above. I thought this was a blog about hair care.

Thanks for stopping by. Drop be each day for another post about the grisly behind-the-scenes goings-on in the world of high-stakes professional cartooning! Don't miss a single day!

TOMORROW'S COMIC

Tomorrow, Sunday, October 4, (4 October, if you're reading this in Europe) Bizarro will feature a strange word puzzle, the answers to which will be posted on this blog. If your local paper gets the Sunday Bizarro, check it out, try to solve it, then come here for the answers. If not, I'll post it in a way that will enable you to play along without seeing the answers immediately. IT'S NOT A CONTEST, just something fun for readers. I hope you enjoy it.

The strange puzzle was written by my strange friend, Cliff, whose brain, for reasons not yet discovered by the world's leading neuroscientists, just thinks this way. It makes him fun to collaborate with but hell to talk to over coffee.

Tune in tomorrow to see what it's all about. Until then,...if you wish to see the sunrise in the evening, stand on the other side of the world.

Death By Entertainment

Bizarro is brought to you at this moment by The Roman Colesseum.

I got into another family's car recently (I was invited, it wasn't a car-jacking) and saw that there were two separate DVD players on the backs of the front seats. In this way, their two children could each watch their own programming while riding in the car. Perhaps it was an overreaction, but I vomited.

When I was a kid (oh god, I hate sentences that start out that way) my siblings and I looked out the windows when we were in the car, even on long, long, interminably long car trips. If we wanted something else to do, we played games wherein we counted things. When we were bored with that, we punched and bit each other.

I wonder if the children in the aforementioned family have any idea what lies outside their own home and car. I wonder if they can identify a 3-dimensional cow standing by the roadside. Or if they know what high speed wind feels like against a rigid hand, or what a pop bottle sounds like when it shatters against the windshield of an oncoming car.

I fear for the future when the video generation are in charge. Their insatiable thirst for constant entertainment will likely make the blood lust of the ancient Romans look like child's play. I foresee a time when the Cottonbowl will be used to feed atheists to lions.

Friday Night Fights: Batman vs. Ra's al Ghul's Goons

From DC Special Series vol. 2 no. 15 - Batman Spectacular (1978). Art by Michael Golden & Dick Giordano. Color by Cory Adams. Story by Denny O'Neil.

Who has Feet of Fury? Batman!

(click pic for larger)