Winter Covers - December 31

Batman and The Joker make a dangerous New Year's Eve toast on Tim Sale's cover for Batman: The Long Halloween #4 (1997).

We've hope you've enjoyed our month-long celebration of comic book covers!

Holiday Contest Hiatus

My usual Thursday Contest Game Puzzle Thing has been postponed for the holidays. I'll kick it off again next Thursday, Jan 7, 2010, so look for it then!

In the meantime, I will be posting hilarious cartoons and commentary on an almost daily basis, so check back each day for the horseplay and monkeyshines.

Gargrantuan Glutes

Bizarro is brought to you today by Fashion Concerns.

I have to admit that this is one of my favorite cartoons in a while. The sheer ridiculousness of it still tickles me after all these weeks. (I write/draw cartoons about 6 weeks before they are published.)

Women have long been worried about the size of their butts and since that is where many women gain the most weight, it makes sense. When I was a teen and young adult (sounds like a church pamphlet) women regularly worried about their butts being too big. But around the turn of the century, along comes this fashion craze for big butts, with the likes of Kim Kardashian and J-Lo, and all of a sudden an ample amount of junk in the trunk is desirable.

Everyone has their own wiring and mine does not happen to include a circuit for attraction to ample booties, but I can't help but wonder if this latest rambunctious rump craze is truly new or if lots of men have always been attracted to large buttocks but have stayed in the closet about it. (Black guys have always been open about it, but the stereotype was that white men preferred smaller cabooses.) Clearly, I just don't have enough honest discussions with my guy friends about what turns them on.

Just as in yesterday's blog, again I say, "Hmmm".

Countdown to Catastrophe

Bizarro is brought to you today by The End Of The World.

A lot of people wrote to "high five" me about this cartoon. It seems there is no shortage of folks annoyed by the gullibility of their family and friends regarding this latest threat to our survival. We humans are always looking for secret clues to the ultimate catastrophic ending, as though the universe were controlled by Dan Brown.

But it is an irresistible part of our nature as apes with huge, mutant brains: we take our natural instincts to spot patterns and guard against injury, and extend them to ludicrous degrees. My apologies to those readers who don't like hearing this, but in my opinion it is the very reason humans have always invented gods to explain the things we don't understand or can't comprehend. We live in a world with natural rules and order and when the facts of our existence fall outside of our understanding, a make-believe answer is more comforting than no answer at all. Most of us need to know that there is a Purpose to our existence and a destination beyond death.

So get ready for 2012, only two years to go unless The Rapture happens first. I can guarantee that 2012 will be every bit as catastrophic as the years 2000 & 1000, both of which caused widespread panic (among cultures who happened to use that arbitrary calendar.)

Of course, it would be especially cool if the catastrophe started at the stroke of midnight on 12/31/11, but in which of the planet's 24 time zones would that occur? Maybe the Mayan's time zone! But even they spanned two or three. Hmmm.

NOTE: This cartoon is based on a fairly obvious idea and I have no doubt it has been done before and will be done again. This is a prime example of one of those ideas that lots of cartoonists will arrive at individually.

Blackest Night Hardcovers

If you're a wait-for-the-trade type, even for big event crossover comics, here are the upcoming Blackest Night hardcover collections (according to Amazon):

• Blackest Night: Tales of the Corps - Presumably the Tales of the Corps miniseries #1-3. (June)

• Blackest Night - The main miniseries. Presumably #0-8. (July)

• Blackest Night: Rise of the Black Lanterns - The return-from-the-dead canceled comics: Power of Shazam #48, Catwoman #83, Suicide Squad #67, Question #37, Phantom Stranger #42, Weird Western Tales #71, Atom & Hawkman #46, Starman #81. (July)

• Blackest Night: Black Lantern Corps Vol. 1 - Blackest Night: Batman #1-3, Blackest Night: Superman #1-3 and Blackest Night: Titans #1-3. (July)

• Blackest Night: Black Lantern Corps Vol. 2 - Blackest Night: Wonder Woman #1-3, Blackest Night: JSA #1-3 and Blackest Night: Flash #1-3. (July)

• Green Lantern: Blackest Night - Presumably the Green Lantern issues. (August)

• Blackest Night: Green Lantern Corps - Presumably the Green Lantern Corps issues. (August)

Each is listed at $24.99, except for the main Blackest Night hardcover which is $29.99.

Winter Covers - December 30

Homer avalanches down the side of a hill on the cover to The Simpsons Winter Wing Ding #1 (2006) by Bill Morrison & Mike Rote.

Christmas may be over, but we're filling out December with winter-themed comics covers!

Winter Covers - December 29

Calvin & Hobbes are oblivious to the wacky snowmen that surround them on the cover of Tommy og Tigern #13 (2006).

Christmas may be over, but we're filling out December with winter-themed comics covers!