Contest TONIGHT, Cartoon Right Now

Bizarro is brought to you today by the Assassin's Handbook.

I've often wondered who first thought of the tear-off-a-strip-of-paper ad. It really was a stroke of genius: simple, effective, inexpensive. It caught on like wildfire and swept the world, whoever first came up with it must feel very proud. They've done more for the world than most politicians ever will.

My good friend, Cliff, came up with this idea. I don't know why. Cliff spends most of his time in a teepee outside of Dickshooter, Idaho, and occasionally an idea for a cartoon will pop into his head and he'll mail it to me on a postcard.

Later today will be another cartoon contest. I'll post it at 7pm Eastern Time. I hope you will play.

Laws of Nature and Beyond

Bizarro is brought to you today by Better Living Through Force.

I haven't much to say about this GPS cartoon other than I hope everyone understood it. The idea was that the GPS led them to a cliff above their destination, then instructed them to drive off the edge. It seemed funny when I thought of it, but I'm not sure about the final result. I like GPSs but I don't like the voice. I prefer to just use the map part, like the one on my phone, and find my own way. I don't trust the robot voice to always know the best way.

At long last I am back in front of my computer where I belong. I went to Florida this past weekend with CHNW. I was hired to do a speech for a humanist group down there, the Center For Inquiry folks, and had a great time. Good people, smart questions, laughed a lot, took me to lunch after. What's not to like?

After the talk on Saturday, CHNW, her dad and I drove to an interesting little place called Ybor City where we hit some shops and had a beer. In old timey times there was a big cigar factory there where hundreds of people hand-rolled cigars all day. The tradition continues as there are cigar shops all over the place and a few people sitting in storefront windows rolling away. If you're into cigars, this is a real treat.

This pic at left was taken with my iPhone and I think it turned out pretty swell.

Even if you're not into cigars, it is strange to see so many smoke-friendly establishments within
the borders of our law-infested land. Smoking is so uniformly despised in the U.S., even outdoors, that walking down 7th Street in Ybor City feels more like Cuba than Florida. I often get chastised by friends and fans for smoking cigars, but I try to be considerate. I usually smoke at home and never smoke around crowds of any kind unless I'm walking quickly. I figure if my passing by with a cigar is enough to set someone off, they need more help than anti-smoking laws can give them.

Lots of things annoy me momentarily in public – bad music, mullets, cologne, confederate flags, cigarettes(they smell very different from cigars because they are crap tobacco and full of chemicals), people wearing fur, the smell of someone's fastfood, people who talk too loud on cell phones, defenders of Dick Cheney, the way everyone but me drives – but I just figure that's the price of leaving my house.

I cannot imagine a society in which we legislate against everything that briefly annoys someone. This encyclopedia of signs at a playground in Sarasota springs to mind. Looks like fun, doesn't it?

Monkey Covers Birthday Bonus

Guess how old I turn today...

Monkey Covers

Sunday is Monkey Covers day here at YACB. Because there's nothing better than a comic with a monkey on the cover!

The Tiny Titans have all been turned into monkeys on Art Baltazar's cover for Tiny Titans #9!


Image courtesy of the GCD. Click on the image for a larger version.

What If There Was an Anniversary, But Nobody Threw a Party?

2010 marks DC Comics' 75th Anniversary, but you wouldn't know it by anything the company is doing!

Back in 1985, DC made a big deal out of their 50th anniversary, designing a special logo; launching Who's Who; and of course running the big Crisis on Infinite Earths mega-crossover, the comic that set the template for big company-wide crossovers for the next 25 years.

But for #75? Nary a peep!

Chalk it up to several factors, including a management shake-up and also running into the tail-end of Blackest Night, which started back in 2009.

But there some obvious things that could be done, such as marking Brightest Day as the big 75th Anniversary series.

Also, Superman #700, Batman #700, & Wonder Woman #600 will all be coming out within a few months of each other in 2010. Your big three characters, all with anniversary issues, in your 75th anniversary year? That should be an opportunity too big to ignore! A big, massive three-part epic written by Geoff Johns and/or Grant Morrison (or your new writer JMS), drawn by Jim Lee, staring Superman, Batman & Wonder Woman? That would be like printing money.

(Of course, since DC refuse to do a Sugar & Spike reprint project, we know that they must hate money...)

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this morning. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (-). Twilight: The Graphic Novel, Volume 1 *
2 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
3 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
4 (+1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
5 (+1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
6 (+3). The Walking Dead Volume 11: Fear The Hunters
7 (-3). Fables Vol. 13: The Great Fables Crossover
8 (+7). Kick-Ass *
9 (-2). The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb
10 (-2). Dark Tower: The Fall of Gilead
11 (-1). The Splendid Magic of Penny Arcade: The 11 1/2 Anniversary Edition *
12 (-1). Watchmen
13 (+1). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
14 (+5). Star Wars: Legacy Volume 8 - Tatooine *
15 (-2). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
16 (+7). Naruto, Vol. 47
17 (+22). Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight Volume 6: Retreat *
18 (-). Logicomix: An Epic Search for Truth
19 (R). All Star Superman, Vol. 2
20 (+4). Batman: Year One
21 (-1). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
22 (-10). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
23 (R). Starman Omnibus Vol. 4 *
24 (-8). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
25 (+6). Stitches: A Memoir
26 (R). The Walking Dead Compendium Volume 1
27 (+13). The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks
28 (-11). Batman: The Killing Joke
29 (N). Dark Avengers, Vol. 2: Molecule Man *
30 (+4). Wolverine: Old Man Logan
31 (R). Simon's Cat
32 (-11). V for Vendetta
33 (-5). The Complete Persepolis
34 (+10). Thor, Vol. 3
35 (+12). The Walking Dead, Vol. 10: What We Become
36 (+10). Fables Vol. 12: The Dark Ages
37 (R). Stephen King's The Stand Vol. 1: Captain Trips
38 (N). Garfield from the Trash Bin: Rescued Rejects & Outrageous Outtakes *
39 (+9). Bone: The Complete Cartoon Epic in One Volume
40 (R). Stephen King's The Stand Vol. 2: American Nightmares
41 (R). The Long Way Home (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 1)
42 (-16). Predators and Prey (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Vol. 5)
43 (N). Berserk Volume 33
44 (-22). Asterios Polyp
45 (R). Incognito
46 (R). Time of Your Life (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 4)
47 (-15). Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic Volume 8 - Destroyer
48 (-7). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
49 (-14). Vampire Knight, Vol. 9
50 (R). Y: The Last Man, Vol. 10: Whys and Wherefores



Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.

N = New listing appearing on list for first time
R = Item returning to the list after having been off for 1 or more weeks


Commentary:

* A very good week for Marvel: they place two titles in the top 10 (neither of which, however, are Marvel Entertainment properties), have the highest debut with the new Dark Avengers hardcover, and have 8 titles overall in the top 50.

* Twilight watch: #61 on the overall list, with a month to go before its release. When the date draws closer, expect it to climb back up again.

Cartoon Bullets

(To enlarge this image, click on the Calvin Klein umbrella.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Gifts.

It used to be that when I would see an old man dressed particularly badly I would wonder if I would one day be that man. Now I think it is more likely that he never cared about the way he looked in the first place, or just has lousy taste. People don't change all that much when they get old. But on many occasions I have pointed at strangers and asked my wife to shoot me if I become that guy.

Here's a bit of oddness: The day after this cartoon appeared in papers, I received the following email.

"I dont like how you put guns in your comics, espically on Valentines Day

- (man's name) for my daughter who is 11"

That was the whole thing. I usually answer all of the mail I get, positive or negative, but this one stumped me. I have no idea what to say to this man and his daughter. I want to ask so many questions.

• How about knives, can I show a person chopping onions with a knife?
  
• Are sticks okay?
  
• Is there a day other than Valentine's Day when a cartoon gun would be less offensive?
  
• Have you ever heard of words like "humor," "satire," "hyperbole," "unrealistic desires to control a world which is essentially a festival of random chaos heading downhill without brakes," "choose your battles"?

My sincere apologies to anyone who finds ink strokes in the shape of a gun in a cartoon offensive. Next time, I'll use a potato.

"If I ever try to leave the house dressed like that, point a harmless tuber at me."