Friday Night Fights: Hulk vs. Cerberus

From Marvel Adventures The Avengers #18 (2007). Art by Cafu & Terry Pallot. Story by Ty Templeton. Color by Val Staples. Letters by Dave Sharpe.

Super-Heroes vs. Mythical Beasts? It's a Free for All!

Freaks

Bizarro is brought to you today by Nut-Gathering Robots.

I'm proud to present to you today one of my favorite cartoons in ages. The 21st Century Freakshow is brilliant, and I can say that without fear of immodesty because I didn't write it. (Damn!) I think I did a good job of drawing it (be sure to click it to see the larger version) but the original idea and sketch, pretty much in this form, came from my brilliant friend, colleague, and occasional collaborator, Wayno. I hate his guts. And I love him for donating this idea to Bizarro. He's a mensch.

The first state fair I ever attended was in Tulsa, Oklahoma around 1972 or so and back then they still had the old-school freak shows which consisted mostly of deformed people in cheap costumes. The "Abominable Snowman" was a guy with elephantitis of the feet, wearing a fake-fur caveman outfit and holding a big club. The "Alligator Girl" was a very old woman in a bikini whose entire body was covered in a scaly skin disorder of some kind. They sat all day in a plywood cubicle sort of thing inside a tent and you paid your money and went up and looked over the wall to see them. The look on their faces could be described as zombiesque and who could blame them? It's also worth noting that one of the attractions was invariably "The Fat Lady." At the time, a 300 lbs. woman was a rare sight, but they were no bigger than the average Walmart shopper of today.

Though still not to my taste, the freak shows of today are much more interesting, for my money. They are primarily people who do really weird things, like picking up a Buick by connecting a chain to the loop in their pierced tongue, or someone who has tattooed their entire body with all 44 presidents of The United States. I'm glad the old freak shows are gone, but I'm also glad I got to see one before they disappeared. I'm not sure why, just one of those odd experiences that one can appreciate in retrospect. At the time, however, I found it sad and haunting.

Speaking of freaks, next up is this gorilla cartoon which probably isn't all that funny to non-vegan folks. When you tell people you don't eat any animal products, the first question they often ask is "where do you get your protein?" The idea that humans need mounds of bloody animal protein to be strong and healthy is medically untrue; a myth perpetuated by the meat and dairy industries. There is plenty enough protein in plants to be healthy and strong, as any of the many huge, strong herbivores can attest: gorillas, rhinos, giraffes, cattle, etc. Children raised on vegan diets (after they finish their own mother's milk, of course) are many times less likely to develop most of your big diseases like cancers, diabetes, heart disease, obesity, etc. And they grow just as tall (but not as wide) as their burger-eating peers.

Don't forget to tell your NY area friends to come to The Steam Powered Hour on Sunday night where I'll be doing some music and comedy. Empty rooms are not good for comedy.

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this morning. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid 5: The Ugly Truth *
2 (+1). Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 2: Scott Pilgrim Versus The World
3 (+1). Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 3: Scott Pilgrim & the Infinite Sadness
4 (-2). Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 1: Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life
5 (-). Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 4: Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together
6 (-). Scott Pilgrim Volume 6: Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour
7 (+1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
8 (+3). The Adventures of Ook and Gluk, Kung-Fu Cavemen from the Future
9 (+1). Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
10 (N). Runaways Vol. 1: Pride and Joy
11 (-2). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
12 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid Box of Books
13 (-6). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
14 (+11). The Walking Dead Compendium Volume 1
15 (+9). Troublemaker Book 1: Alex Barnaby Series 3
16 (R). Odd Is on Our Side *
17 (+3). Kick-Ass
18 (-2). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
19 (-5). Dark Tower: The Battle of Jericho Hill
20 (+14). The Complete Peanuts Boxed Set 1975-1978 (Vol. 13-14) *
21 (-6). Walking Dead Volume 12
22 (+5). Blackest Night
23 (-10). Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic
24 (-7). The Cloud Searchers (Amulet)
25 (-4). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
26 (-7). Watchmen
27 (+3). Batman: The Killing Joke
28 (N). The Amazing Screw-On Head and Other Curious Objects
29 (R). Dante's Divine Comedy: A Graphic Adaptation
30 (+5). The Complete Peanuts 1977-1978 (Vol. 14) *
31 (N). Runaways - Volume 2: Teenage Wasteland
32 (+8). Serenity: The Shepherd's Tale *
33 (+3). Dork Diaries 2: Tales from a Not-So-Popular Party Girl
34 (-8). Locke & Key: Crown of Shadows
35 (-7). Lost at Sea
36 (+12). The Walking Dead Book 5
37 (-19). Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight Volume 7: Twilight *
38 (-15). The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb
39 (-6). The Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes and Nocturnes
40 (N). New Avengers: Siege
41 (N). Red Robin: Collision
42 (N). Runaways Vol. 3: The Good Die Young
43 (-1). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
44 (-1). Batman: Hush
45 (-14). Green Lantern: Blackest Night
46 (+3). Batman: Year One
47 (-9). Empowered Volume 6 *
48 (+2). The Arrival
49 (R). The Walking Dead, Book 4
50 (R). The Unwritten Vol. 2: Inside Man


Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.

N = New listing appearing on list for first time
R = Item returning to the list after having been off for 1 or more weeks


Commentary:

* Once again the upcoming Wimpy Kid volume secures the top spot on the comics chart, and moves up to #7 on the overall chart. The Scott Pilgrim volumes are at #62, #65, #68, #69, and #74. Those are a rise on the SP positions from last week, as Amazon has discounted all of the volumes at over 50% (perhaps signaling a large amount of stock that they are trying to move?) Wimpy Kid Dog Days sets the overall chart gap by placing at #256. The 50th item on the list this week clocks in at #3,036 on the overall chart, another significant improvement from last week.

* There is a sudden interest in volumes of Marvel's Runaways this week. With a film adaptation scheduled to film in March next year, we can assume perhaps that casting calls went out in Hollywood this week? Or more likely the series has gotten a boost from a review on NPR a couple of days ago.

* The top new book to make a debut this week is Mike Mignola's The Amazing Screw-On Head, followed by New Avengers: Siege and Red Robin: Collision.

Money Ass Hat

Bizarro is brought to you today by Missing Relief.

Gosh, I've missed you. I meant to post some cartoons yesterday but got swept up into the UFO of responsibility and was anally probed late into the night. But here I am today, perched on a foam rubber doughnut.

If anyone enjoys meaningless historical research, see if you can find out where the cliche bag full of money with a dollar sign on the outside came from. I'm guessing it was invented for a cartoon of some sort, but you never know. Perhaps it was a standard in vaudeville or maybe banks really did put money in those kind of bags to keep them from being confused with laundry.

I also wonder if anyone has ever shown up to rob a bank and forgotten to bring anything to put the money in. What if the teller runs all over the place and can't find anything appropriate? Meanwhile, the robber waits at the window threatening to shoot him/her but knows that's not going to speed up the process. Then the police arrive and the forgetful robber is busted. Another great reason to bring your canvas shopping bags with you each time you leave the house, folks.

This big hat cartoon makes me smile, but I'm afraid the sign is a little confusing. I meant for it be say that backpacks as well as hats larger than 10 gallons are to be checked at the door, but you could read it to mean that backpacks larger than ten gallons as well as hats larger than ten gallons... which is screwy. Oh well, no point in over thinking it now.

Today's offering from the Cartoon Time Machine is an old favorite of a number of readers – presumably those who do not like their boss. It's always fun to find a way to make a point that would otherwise be rejected by newspaper editors; in this case calling the boss a horse's ass.

More tomorrow, or, if the UFO comes back, on Saturday.


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Music Comedy

Oh yeah, Oh yeah...

I'm doing a variety show thing in NYC this coming Sunday night, September 19, 2010. There will be music and comedy by several performers, two of whom will be me. I'll do a ten-minute set of comedy, then later in the show I'll be performing one of my original songs (not a comedy song) about Brooklyn. It's called "Brooklyn."

The show is hosted by my buddy, Matthew Diffee, famed cartoonist of The New Yorker and fellow former Texan. Please come by if you're in the area, please send your area friends if you're not.

Tickets are $10 at the door or $7 in advance at www.nuyorican.org TICKETS AND INFO

September 19th 7:00pm
Nuyorican Poets Cafe
236 E. 3rd Street (between ave B and C)
New York, NY

Hope to see you there.


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Earth Hat

Bizarro is brought to you today by Vegan Chicken Strips.

Just got back from my two comedy things in Santa Rosa, California, home of the Charles Schulz Museum and am happy to report they both went well and we had a great time. Thanks to those of you who came to the shows, it was fun meeting you. (Except for you, Hoyt. Never contact me again.)

The first cartoon shown here is a take on the cliche, "Let me through I'm a doctor" deal. In this case, the cartoony-looking guy has slipped on a banana peel and only a cartoonist will do. In my continuing habit of honoring Alfred Hitchcock, I appear as the cartoonist. My good friend and colleague, Wayno, came up with this idea. We had different ideas about this cartoon which we didn't discover until I published it and we got to chatting. He explains here why his original victim was a wealthy dandy, whereas I always think of the fallen slapstick victim as a blue-collar dude, like the moving guy who gets crushed by the piano.

This second cartoon is fairly odd even for me, which is what I like about it. I often notice bored couples in restaurants who seem not to say a word during their entire dining experience, even while waiting for the food. CHNW talks so much (even when she's alone) that I doubt that will ever happen to us. It always makes me sad to see this, but I could be assuming too much. Maybe they're as happy as anyone else, they just don't like to gab about it all the time.

Cartoon three is from the archives of Bizarro Headquarters. Keith Rust is an actual friend of mine. I didn't choose him for any particular reason, just thought he'd be a good subject for this gag. This is the sort of classically surreal gag that I really love and don't come up with nearly often enough.

More tomorrow, don't be late!

5 Days to Die #4 (of 05)

5 Days to Die #4 (of 05)
Sep 2010 | 27 pages | CBR | 20.7 MB
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Download MIRROR #2