Courage Under Fire

Bizarro is brought to you today by the Second Amendment.

This gag was written by my friend and colleague, Wayno, a fine cartoonist in his own right. He enjoys seeing his ideas in Bizarro from time to time and I enjoy drawing them up. For more of Wayno's work, visit this here place.

Or go to Facebook and look for Wayno Illustration.

Speaking of Facebook, to any of you who have sent me something through that site, I apologize for how long it takes me to respond. I only check the site about once a month and click through requests and stuff as quickly as possible. I often don't have time to answer the comments and notes and things, I hope you will forgive me. Here at Bizarro International Headquarters there is too much for one person to do in a day and I can't afford an assistant. Thanks for understanding, you're a peach.

Exciting Update!

This post is brought to you by Sheer Ego.

Yes, I am aware it is crass to brag. But when things like this happen, I get all giggly and have to share my elation. Check out Merl Reagle's Crossword puzzle from a few days ago. Now check out the yellow highlighted parts. (Click the puzzle to make it larger)

WHAT?!?!?!

How did a lowly cartoonist without a single magazine cover to his name or even an official fan club make his way into a crossword puzzle? I don't know either, but however he did it, he is thrilled.

You see, cartoonists labor in obscurity for the most part. I've never been (and likely never will be) as famous as Gary Larson, or Garry Trudeau, or Jim Davis, or Charles Schulz. I do what I do and I make a living and I'm happy with that, but every now and then a little rainbow from the pantheon like this crossword puzzle drops into my lap and it's a real kick. It doesn't mean I have "arrived," but it does mean that at least Merl Reagle thinks my name is well known enough to warrant making his readers call up Wikipedia on their computers.

A couple of years ago I was a question on Jeopardy! and it was the highlight of my life. Some people strive for Pulitzers, Oscars, or Nobel Prizes. All I want is to be a puzzle clue every couple of years. That's not so much, is it?

NOTE: Thanks to all the readers who emailed me about this and to Dimension Skipper, who added a link to the above image to his/her comment on this blog. As you can see in his comment (on the previous cartoon) his verification word for posting his comment was "fredness." My dad's name is Fred, which means that I, myself, am the result of an act of fredness.

Hypnolarious

Bizarro has been brought to you today by When Your Phone Rings You Will Think You A Chicken.

This cartoon is not about hypnotism per se, but I'd like to say a few words about the subject.

I've been to various therapists from time to time over the years – not constantly but on an as-needed basis – but I've never had one that wanted to hypnotize me. And I've been to one of those hypnotism nightclub acts before, but have never been onstage. So speaking as a person who has no experience with hypnotism whatsoever and hasn't even read anything about it, let me expound on its applications and limitations.

I think hypnotism is probably useful in a CSI:Miami situation, like when the person who witnesses a crime without realizing it and is trying desperately to remember the license number of the car that drove away with the ambassador's kidnapped granddaughter in the trunk. And it's probably also useful for quitting smoking and overcoming anxiety, stuff like that, and for tricking someone into becoming your crime zombie and robbing banks for you then forgetting they ever did it.

But I strongly suspect that the humorous nightclub routines are all about people who want to perform but need an excuse for being a ham. I don't believe for a minute that the insurance salesman's wife really thinks she's at the beach on a hot day when she peels off her dress and parades around in her bra and undies. I'd say it's a lot more likely that she's bored out of her mind raising those three brats of his and doing his laundry and regrets not having become and exotic dancer at a truck stop honkytonk.

Monkey Covers

Sunday is Monkey Covers day here at YACB. Because there's nothing better than a comic with a monkey on the cover!

An armored gorilla punches some dude in the face on John Byrne's cover to Doomsday + 1 #6 (1976).

(Standard disclaimer about armored gorillas not really being monkeys applies.)


Image courtesy of the GCD. Click on the image for a larger version.

Fairy Tales

(Engorge this cartoon with 60% more biggerness by clicking the prince.)

Today's episode of Bizarro is brought to you by What Is This?

When I was a teenager, I liked me some M.C.Escher, as most kids my age did. I still appreciate his work, but for teens he's like the rockstar of graphic artists. The words "Dude, he must have been trippin'," have been uttered myriad times in reference to his images.

I can tell you from an artist's perspective that he almost certainly was not "trippin" or he would not have been able to achieve the level of detail, realism, and accuracy that he is famous for. He was, however, probably socially retarded. Most people who achieve such precision do so by locking themselves in their room for decades and obsessing over their work. This often leads to unease in situations in which one would be required to interact with humans.

If you were to transport yourself back in time to Escher's studio while he was working on one of his famous future blacklight posters, and you were to express your admiration and ask him a deep question about his concepts and philosphy, he would likely say something like, "I enjoy crackers."

Or maybe I'm totally wrong and he'd say, "Dude, wanna get dosed?"

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this morning. All the previous caveats apply.

1 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
2 (-). Watchmen
3 (+3). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
4 (+13). Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? Deluxe Edition *
5 (+13). 100 Bullets Vol. 13: Wilt
6 (-1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
7 (-4). Asterios Polyp
8 (+5). Maximum Ride, Vol. 1 Manga (kindle)
9 (-5). Final Crisis
10 (+13). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
11 (-1). The Complete Persepolis
12 (-5). Green Lantern: Rage of the Red Lanterns
13 (+12). The Boys, Vol. 4
14 (N). Superman: Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow? Deluxe Edition
15 (-3). Mercy Thompson Homecoming *
16 (+18). Parker: The Hunter
17 (+4). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
18 (-3). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
19 (-11). Fruits Basket Volume 23
20 (+22). Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
21 (-5). V for Vendetta
22 (N). Nevermore *
23 (-9). Batman: The Killing Joke
24 (N). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
25 (-5). Green Lantern: The Sinestro Corps War, Vol. 1
26 (N). Angel: After the Fall, Vol. 4 *
27 (N). Green Lantern: Rebirth
28 (+2). The Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes and Nocturnes
29 (N). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
30 (-11). Green Lantern: Sinestro Corps War, Vol. 2
31 (-5). Bone: One Volume Edition
32 (+11). Wolves at the Gate (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 3)
33 (N). Fullmetal Alchemist, Vol. 19 *
34 (-23). Naruto, Volume 45
35 (N). Serenity, Vol. 2: Better Days
36 (-8). Negima!: Magister Negi Magi, Vol. 23
37 (-8). Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 1: Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life
38 (+12). Warriors: Tigerstar and Sasha #3: Return to the Clans
39 (+6). Star Trek: Countdown TPB
40 (-7). Batman: Year One
41 (N). Lost Girls Hardcover Edition
42 (-20). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
43 (N). The Arrival
44 (-35). Time of Your Life (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 4)
45 (-1). The Sandman Vol. 2: The Doll's House
46 (-22). Stephen King's Dark Tower: Treachery
47 (N). Green Lantern Corps: Sins of the Star Sapphire
48 (-9). No Future For You (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 2)
49 (N). The Complete Maus: A Survivor's Tale
50 (N). Fables, Vol. 11: War and Pieces


Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.


Commentary:

* Debuts this week include the latest Angel: After the Fall collection; Green Lantern: Rebirth; the latest Fullmetal Alchemist; and the new single-volume edition of Lost Girls.

* Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? continues to rise up the list; it's Neil Gaiman and Batman, two things that the Amazon Bestseller List loves, so I expect to see this new hardcover on the list for a good haul.

Butt Darling...

Berzarro is branged to you terday by Rusponsble Dranking.

Not only can I not believe those aren't buttocks, I can't believe that not a single editor from any of my client papers objected to this cartoon or asked for a replacement. That I know of.

It does my heart good to see that editors are loosening their Victorian standards for the funny pages, giving us all a little more room to be "funny." (Not that it helps most of the time.)

I know that the female caboose has always been a source of fascination for men – it's biology 101 – but it is interesting that in recent years the MONDO BOOTY has come into style so much in popular culture. When I was in my teens and twenties, in the late 1900s, women were concerned with keeping their buttocks shapely, but smallish. Nowadays, with the popularity of women like Kim Kardashian and J-Lo, the epitome of ass fashion seems to be expanding. It's all in the eye of the beholder.

Body styles go in and out of fashion like anything else. I hope mine comes into style before I'm too old to use it.