Hybrid Happy

(To view this cartoon LIFESIZE! click on the spittoon.)

Bizarro is today brought to you by YouKnowWhatTheySay...

I don't have a car, but if I did, it would likely be a hybrid. I don't have a horse, either, but I think a horsepig would be a fun ride. One would certainly get lots of stares and you couldn't ask for a better conversation starter.

I'm one of those people who likes things that are different from the norm, so the horsepig would appeal to me, regardless of its relatively ungraceful appearance. But that would only be until they caught on and everyone had one, then I'd move on to something else. What I'd really dig would be a horsechicken. Think of the pecking power a beast like that would have.

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this afternoon. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (+27). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days *
2 (-1). Watchmen
3 (-1). Asterios Polyp
4 (-1). Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? Deluxe Edition *
5 (-). Parker: The Hunter
6 (-2). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
7 (N). Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451: The Authorized Adaptation
8 (N). Tumor Chapter 1 (kindle)
9 (+4). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
10 (-4). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
11 (-4). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
12 (+3). Mercy Thompson Homecoming *
13 (+12). Maximum Ride, Vol. 1 Manga (kindle)
14 (-3). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
15 (-3). Time of Your Life (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 4)
16 (-7). Final Crisis
17 (+4). Superman: Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow? Deluxe Edition
18 (+5). Mouse Guard Volume 2: Winter 1152 *
19 (-3). Green Lantern: Rage of the Red Lanterns
20 (-12). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
21 (+3). Angel: After the Fall, Vol. 4
22 (-). Green Lantern: Rebirth
23 (+9). The Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes and Nocturnes
24 (+6). The Complete Persepolis
25 (-6). Batman: The Killing Joke
26 (-16). The Boys, Vol. 4
27 (N). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
28 (-8). V for Vendetta
29 (-12). Fruits Basket Volume 23
30 (-4). Berserk Volume 30
31 (-4). Green Lantern: Sinestro Corps War, Vol. 2
32 (+18). Serenity, Vol. 2: Better Days
33 (N). Green Lantern Corps: Sins of the Star Sapphire
34 (-). Green Lantern: The Sinestro Corps War, Vol. 1
35 (-2). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
36 (+12). Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
37 (+5). Tales Designed to Thrizzle: Volume 1 *
38 (+1). Batman: R.I.P.
39 (N). Stephen King's Dark Tower: Treachery
40 (N). Blade Of The Immortal Volume 21: Demon Lair II
41 (N). The Adventures of Johnny Bunko (kindle)
42 (-24). 100 Bullets Vol. 13: Wilt
43 (N). Fullmetal Alchemist, Vol. 19
44 (-8). Batman: Year One
45 (-8). Lost Girls Hardcover Edition
46 (-1). Nevermore *
47 (-12). Watchmen (Absolute Edition)
48 (N). The Long Way Home (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 1)
49 (N). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
50 (N). Prince Valiant, Vol. 1: 1937-1938 *

Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.


Commentary:

* A reminder that last week's chart positions are from Saturday morning, not Friday, so take the week-to-week comparisons with an even larger grain of salt than usual.

* As expected, the new Wimpy Kid volume rockets up to the number one position. Expect it to stay entrenched there for a long time. Surprisingly, the other Wimpy Kid volumes aren't getting a bounce back up to the top.

* Highest debut of the week is Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451: The Authorized Adaptation, with an impressive top ten showing. There must be a mainstream review out there somewhere.

* Right behind 451°F is the kindle edition of Joshua Hale Fialkov's Tumor Chapter 1, which is free. That explains it's high chart showing, but also points for a potentially good marketing ploy as comics lurch towards digital distribution.

* Asterios Polyp looks like it will have some legs on the charts.

Rats!

Bizarro is brought to you today by Dangerous Rodents.

I went to the DMV today because I wanted to waste a couple of hours, be amazed by the idiocy of human bureaucracy, and register a motorcycle I bought recently. I accomplished two of my three goals – the wasting time and idiocy amazement – but I did not get a plate for the bike. I am not surprised, it was only my first visit for this particular undertaking and one can never acheive anything at a New York City DMV in less than two trips. In fact, the sign posted at the waiting area clearly states:

TO REGISTER YOUR VEHICLE YOU WILL NEED:
1. A notarized title
1. Proof of insurance
3. Completed forms DTF-802 and MV-82
4. Two forms of current picture I.D.
5. Something you did not bring

Of course, I forgot to bring number 5. I'll try again tomorrow.

Prius vs. Prime Rib

If you are a person concerned with what you can do to help mitigate climate change, read this short article from the Washington Post.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/07/28/AR2009072800390.html

Party On

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Just Say No.

I was a touch surprised that this cartoon got through the gauntlet of editors-that-be and appeared in newspapers all over the continent without any complaints. (That I know of.) My guess is that the kind of people who would object to this cartoon didn't understand it.

Usually, any reference to illegal "drugs" that is not wholly pro-abstinence gets some heat. In the interest of full disclosure, I am not an avid consumer of recreational drugs, though I've tried a few of the more popular ones. But on principle alone, I am incensed by the absurd notion that alcohol in moderation is acceptable but natural substances like hemp and psilocybin mushrooms are "of the devil."

What started with greedy capitalists wanting to ban natural substances they could not sell to the public so that they could make more money off of booze and nicotine (and paper made of wood, and cloth made of cotton instead of hemp) has received such a PR snowjob that most Americans still believe they should be illegal. Even people who have smoked pot and eaten mushrooms continue to lobby for their criminalization. How many of you learned in school that George Washington was a hemp farmer and believed it was the crop that the United States should build its economy on? That's my point, neither did I.

The reason these substances are associated with darkness and evil is because they are illegal and are sold by criminals. Marijuana is no more of a gateway to death by heroin overdose than Cheetos is to murder. (Statistics show that 99.8% of all convicted murderers have eaten Cheetos at some point in their life, many are even "addicted" to them.)

I'd love to see our society grow up, but I'm not holding my breath.

NOTE: To my mind there is a HUGE difference between natural substances like pot and mushrooms and manmade chemicals like acid, meth, XTC, etc. One can argue the logic of keeping those illegal or not, but my point here is that plants don't belong in the same category as those.

Fuggetabottit

Bizarro is brought to you today by Want To See My Spleen?

Near the top of my list of favorite things to do each day is climbing into bed at night and reading. (Other items on the list: pointing at rainbows, teaching my cat Tai Chi, running through crowded subways shouting "Grey's Anatomy is FAKE!")

I sometimes wonder if my bed looks forward to our time together as much as I do. Is it a willing participant in my nightly slumber? Does it sleep when I sleep or does it sleep during the day and lie awake all night wishing I'd get the hell off of it? And how does it feel about being used for sex?

Does the memory foam really remember me? If so, does it also remember my cats? If someone uses a memory foam mattress to cheat on their spouse, will it ever forget? When the mattress gets old, does it remember who slept on it thirty years ago but not who used it last night?

After all that musing, I'm embarrassed to say that I can't remember if my mattress is memory foam or not.

Amazon Top 50

Sorry the list is so late this time. Last Friday I was on a 14-hour leg of a road trip, and wasn't able to grab the Amazon bestseller list. I did manage to get a copy of it Saturday morning though, and here is the delayed list. Since this snapshot was done Saturday rather than Friday, you should keep that in mind when comparing week-to-week, in addition to all the previous caveats.


1 (+1). Watchmen
2 (+5). Asterios Polyp
3 (+1). Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? Deluxe Edition *
4 (-3). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
5 (+11). Parker: The Hunter
6 (-3). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
7 (+11). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
8 (+9). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
9 (-). Final Crisis
10 (+3). The Boys, Vol. 4
11 (-1). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
12 (+32). Time of Your Life (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 4)
13 (-7). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
14 (+14). The Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes and Nocturnes
15 (-). Mercy Thompson Homecoming *
16 (-4). Green Lantern: Rage of the Red Lanterns
17 (-2). Fruits Basket Volume 23
18 (-13). 100 Bullets Vol. 13: Wilt
19 (+4). Batman: The Killing Joke
20 (+1). V for Vendetta
21 (-7). Superman: Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow? Deluxe Edition
22 (+5). Green Lantern: Rebirth
23 (N). Mouse Guard Volume 2: Winter 1152 *
24 (+2). Angel: After the Fall, Vol. 4 *
25 (-17). Maximum Ride, Vol. 1 Manga (kindle)
26 (N). Berserk Volume 30 *
27 (+3). Green Lantern: Sinestro Corps War, Vol. 2
28 (N). Diary of a Wimpy Kid 4 *
29 (N). The Art of Harvey Kurtzman: The Mad Genius of Comics
30 (-19). The Complete Persepolis
31 (-). Bone: One Volume Edition
32 (+13). The Sandman Vol. 2: The Doll's House
33 (-4). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
34 (-9). Green Lantern: The Sinestro Corps War, Vol. 1
35 (N). Watchmen (Absolute Edition)
36 (+4). Batman: Year One
37 (+4). Lost Girls Hardcover Edition
38 (N). American Born Chinese
39 (N). Batman: R.I.P.
40 (-8). Wolves at the Gate (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 3)
41 (+7). No Future For You (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 2)
42 (N). Tales Designed to Thrizzle: Volume 1 *
43 (N). The Photographer: Into War-torn Afghanistan with Doctors Without Borders
44 (N). Empowered, Vol. 5
45 (-23). Nevermore *
46 (N). New Avengers Vol. 10: Power *
47 (N). Predators and Prey (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Vol. 5) *
48 (-28). Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
49 (N). Y: The Last Man Vol. 8: Kimono Dragons
50 (-15). Serenity, Vol. 2: Better Days


Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.


Commentary:

* The most notable thing this week is the relatively poor showing of the Wimpy Kid volumes. Is this a function of taking the reading on Saturday rather than Friday? We'll find out this Friday I suppose. Also, sneaking in at #28 is the pre-order for the fourth Wimpy Kid volume; expect to see this move up and settle in to the top slot before too long.

* The highest debut this week belongs to the second Mouse Guard hardcover (in pre-order); another title I expect to move up into the top ten when it comes out next month.

* Watchmen moves back to the top slot, and the reappearance of the Absolute Edition on the chart, are probably the result of the Watchmen DVD being released.

* I wonder if the Green Lantern surge will last for the entirety of Blackest Night? That plus the new direct-to-DVD animated movie plus the announcement of a live-action feature film are no doubt pushing the property up the charts.