Cave Democracy

Bizarro is brought to you today by Blood Sucking Babies.

I've always loved bats, ever since I was a kid in Oklahoma and could see them careen past the streetlight on our corner just after dark. The more I learn about them, the more fascinated I am.

Here are some of my favorite bat facts:

1. A single little brown bat can eat up to 1000 mosquitoes per hour.

2. Bats may have descended from primates, making them more closely related to humans than to rodents.

3. A single Mexican free-tailed bat can drink up to 3 bottles of tequila per hour.

4. There are over 1000 species of bats, making up around one fourth of all mammal species.

5. Vampires can not turn into bats.

6. Adam West, who played Batman on TV in the 1960s, was neither bat, nor man.

For more bat facts, go here.

Until next time, may your life be filled with Bavarian cream...

Could Digital Comics Save the Midlist?

I was contemplating this morning the coming wave of digital comics. (And by digital comics I don't mean Webcomics—those that are born online—but rather digital editions of print comics.)

It's no secret that the past decade or so has not been kind to the midlist in the direct market. A system has evolved by which the major publishers are chasing the hits with splashy first month sales. As in other media (films, books, music) this serves to depress sales of midlist titles, making it very hard for a comic series to have a long life selling in the middle of the pack. And you almost never see a comic series have a nice regular upward growth in sales.

It occurs to me that a couple of different digital comics models could be a boon to midlist titles.

The first, the "iTunes model" that is nearly imminent with Longbox, could results in long tail effects being realized. This would especially be a boon to smaller publishers that aren't picked up by a majority of comics shops, as they would have a way to point their widely dispersed potential audience to an online location for purchase. Since marginal costs for distributing digital comics is close to zero and "shelf space" is virtual, such comics can potentially find their audience much more easily,

The second, a subscription model, would potentially be more helpful for midlist titles at major publishers. An analogue for this is cable television subscription channels such as HBO or Showtime. These networks are selling a package to viewers, not individual programs. This means that a critically acclaimed title adds to the overall package and is not viewed in terms of opportunity costs lost by not doing the next big crossover event. (In an interview I recently heard with the head of documentary programming for HBO, she said that in her 30 years with the network no one had ever even gone over ratings with her!)

I for one want a comic market that can support a title like Nexus and that can nurture the next Bone.

Missing Link

As many a commentator noted, the first link in the previous blog about the caveman cartoon was not working. I've fixed it, so the "missing link" is back.

Thanks, Bizarrozzi!

Join the Club

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Talent Portion of Our Competition.

What's funnier than caveman violence? A lot of things, but today's cartoon is about caveman violence anyway.

I guess this joke comes from the recent economic catastrophe, known in some corners as The Bush Legacy, and while there is nothing funny about so many people being out of work, maybe a recently laid off employee might look at this cartoon and say to him or herself, "well, at least I didn't get clubbed or speared." Or perhaps even, "At least I don't have to go around in a one-shoulder dead animal skin and get an uneven tan. At least not yet, anyway."

Keep in mind that during the Great Depression, things were even worse than this and FDR brought us out of it with government spending, which Republicans (who pushed us into that one, too) decried as insanity. Those who do not learn from history are destined to repeat it and here we are again. But things are beginning to turn around. Let's keep our fingers crossed for a quick recovery. It took 8 years to bury the country this deep, it's going to take more than a few months to dig it out.

P.S. I think I used that photo that is beneath the "Talent Portion" link above before, but it's so great, I decided to use it again.

Until tomorrow, smile with every lip on your face...

Monkey Covers

Sunday is Monkey Covers day here at YACB. Because there's nothing better than a comic with a monkey on the cover!

A chimpanzee has an Ace up his, um, sleeve? on John Bolton's cover to Proposition Player #5 (200).

(Standard disclaimer about poker-playing chimps not really being monkeys applies.)


Image courtesy of the GCD. Click on the image for a larger version.

Attached

(For a swollen version of this cartoon, click the question mark in panel three!)

Bizarro is today brought to you by Guinea Pig Farts.

This idea came from my good friend, Cliff Harris, who is a wordsmith extraordinaire. He plays with words in unusual ways, writes word puzzles, writes stories in puzzle form, and just generally defies the laws of language in ways that make me wonder if he was dropped on his head as a baby. This cartoon isn't really an example of those skills, but I'm going to publish a Sunday cartoon in the next couple of months that features three examples of one of his odd puzzle motifs. I'll call it "Bizarro Sunday Puzzler," or something like that. It will be fun.

Meanwhile, if you're out in Williamsburg or Greenpoint, Brooklyn today, motorbike and I will be at a vintage motorcycle show called Brand X. Find me and say hello, and I'll give you a free pack of Bizarro Trading Cards!
What?!
Yes!

Your smile feeds my aching soul...

Phonetic Vision of the Future

Bizarro is brought to you today by Stiff People.

Like most modern people in industrialized nations, I wear glasses and take the eyesight they afford me for granted. I didn't need them until I was 38 and my ophthalmologist told me that almost no one makes it past 40 without needing glasses. Apparently, that's just how long human eyes typically last before warping.

Up until relatively recently, however, glasses were not available to most people. So, the vast majority of our ancestors who lived beyond 40, lost their ability to read or do tiny detailed work and walked around in a blurry, ill-defined world. What a fuzzy drag.

I, for instance, occasionally lose the microscopic screw that holds the arm of my glasses to the frame and have to replace it. I can't wear my glasses while doing this, of course, and it is nearly impossible to line up the holes, get the screw in and tighten it without being able to see it clearly. And though I don't need my glasses for driving or getting around the house, I cannot read or draw without them, so if I did not have access to them, my career (and also my favorite pastimes) would be down the toilet.

Part of the story is that most people didn't live much beyond 40 until recently, and, once dead, weren't using their eyes anyway. But those who did live longer were just out of luck. Michelangelo, for instance, lived to be in his 90s and one can track the deterioration of his eyesight through his work. He did this in his twenties, and this in his eighties.

If humans last on this planet, and that's a formidable "if," I wonder what sort of current hardships that we take for granted will amaze our descendants.

Blog of the future: "Up until relatively recently, if people wanted to reproduce, they actually had to squeeze babies out of their bodies. I, for instance, don't have a uterus or vagina, so I would have had to find a woman who was willing to..."

Who knows?