Groovy Grass

(To make the image, like, all big and awesome, click the row of seats.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Extremely Slow Dogs.

After this cartoon ran in the papers, a few emails arrived at Bizarro Headquarters from confused readers. They understood the joke just fine, they were just confused in general. One person wasn't sure why they had married the person they did, another was confused about when to file his estimated tax payments. I answered their questions as well as I could and thanked them for writing.

Meanwhile, this cartoon is more easily understood if you look carefully at the picture. A man is putting soil and grass seed into a washing machine and a woman is stacking squares of sod on top of the dryers at a place called "Bermuda Lawndromat." "Bermuda," of course, is a popular species of grass.

I'm off to Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary for a weekend fundraiser. The weather looks dreadful, cold with a possibility of snow. Not what we were hoping for, but we'll manage. Hope you enjoy your weekend, wherever you are. As always, stay out of jail and keep your teeth in your mouth.

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this afternoon. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
2 (+1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
3 (+3). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
4 (+1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
5 (+2). The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb *
6 (-4). Logicomix: An Epic Search for Truth
7 (-4). The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks
8 (+1). Predators and Prey (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Vol. 5)
9 (-1). Bloom County Complete Library Volume 1 *
10 (-). Watchmen
11 (+23). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
12 (+18). Stitches: A Memoir
13 (+31). Hellboy Library Edition Volume 3: Conqueror Worm And Strange Places
14 (+13). The Complete Peanuts 1971-1974 Box Set
15 (+11). Naruto, Volume 46
16 (+32). V for Vendetta
17 (N). The Amazing Spider-Man Pop-Up: Marvel True Believers Retro Collection
18 (-1). Asterios Polyp
19 (-). Tumor Chapter 1 (kindle)
20 (-2). Mercy Thompson Homecoming
21 (+11). Dilbert: 2010 Day-to-Day Calendar
22 (-). The Walking Dead, Vol. 10: What We Become
23 (-). The Cartoon History of the Modern World, Part 2: From the Bastille to Baghdad
24 (+7). Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
25 (-9). Fables Vol. 12: The Dark Ages
26 (-13). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
27 (-2). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
28 (-13). Batman: Year One
29 (R). Absolute Death
30 (-19). 14 Years of Loyal Service in a Fabric-Covered Box: A Dilbert Book *
31 (R). The Complete Persepolis
32 (-18). Batman: The Killing Joke
33 (-21). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
34 (+1). Berserk Volume 31 *
35 (-7). Marvel Encyclopedia
36 (R). Stephen King's Dark Tower: Treachery
37 (R). The Best American Comics 2009
38 (+2). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
39 (N). Tee Time in Berzerkistan: A Doonesbury Book *
40 (-3). The Umbrella Academy: Dallas
41 (N). The Complete Peanuts 1967-1970 Box Set
42 (+4). The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz HC
43 (N). Dog Style Volume 3
44 (-23). Masterpiece Comics
45 (R). Yotsuba&!, Vol. 6
46 (-8). Locke & Key: Head Games
47 (+3). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
48 (-7). The Arrival
49 (R). Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic
50 (-30). Bloom County: Complete Library Volume 2 *


Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.

N = New listing appearing on list for first time
R = Item returning to the list after having been off for 1 or more weeks


Commentary:

* Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days is not just top on the Comics & Graphic Novels charts, it's also the #1 book overall on Amazon. It outsells Sarah Palin & Dan Brown & Stephen King (at the 2, 3, & 4 slots respectively). The Last Straw weighs in at #24 on the overall chart, the first volume is at #44, and Roderick Rules is at #50.

* What to make of the block of #11-16, all of which made huge jumps up the chart this week?

* The highest debut belongs to The Amazing Spider-Man Pop-Up, published by Candlewick. In fact, the only two entries on the top 50 that feature Marvel's super-heroes are published by entities other than Marvel (The Marvel Encyclopedia comes from DK Publishers). I suspect that Marvel's new corporate overlords will have something to say about this state of affairs...

* Other debuts this wee are a Doonesbury collection, an older Complete Peanuts Box Set, and the 3rd volume of Dog Style, which appears to be a Yaoi title.

WINNER of CONTEST #8!!!

This week's contest took around 10 minutes to solve.

Grand Prize: GIANT

2nd Prize: HA HA HA WHOOPS

3rd Prize: SHIRL


For a list of the differences, see the comments section of the previous contest post, wherein I posted GIANT's winning entry. Congrats to the winners and thanks to all who played!


One funny thing: I noticed while judging the entries that there were actually 16 differences, my mistake, so I awarded anyone who listed 15 correct differences. For obvious reasons, everyone stopped looking after they found 15. Doesn't change the contest any, just makes it 1/16 easier to win, I guess.

Next Thursday, another contest! WOW!!!

CONTEST #8

Click on the cartoon contest image below to enlarge.

RULES, ETC:
As usual, the top image is the original cartoon, the warped image beneath it has been changed. Your mission, if you are courageous enough to conquer it, is to find those differences.

1. There are 15 differences between the two cartoons.
2. NONE of the differences have to do with the warped nature of the second image.
3. ALL of the differences are something missing, added, or moved, not just "bent" from the distortion. The differences will not be too subtle, so once you spot one you should be relatively certain you've found it. (As opposed to something like, "I think the shadow of the coffee cup is a little darker. Hmmm.")
4. FIRST PERSON to correctly list the 15 differences in the comments section of the contest post wins 5 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards, mailed by me personally from Bizarro International Headquarters in Brooklyn. I'll even lick the stamp, unless it's self adhesive. SECOND AND THIRD persons with correct answers will each get 2 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards!
5. Put your email address on your comment so I can contact you if you win. I won't post it or keep it or file it or sell it or mount a Broadway musical about it.

Enjoy and good luck!

Pick up. Pick up.

Bizarro is brought to you today by Modern Phone Technology.

This cartoon was originally going to have a different caption: "What are you wearing?"

I still think that's a funny caption but once drawn up, it seemed really creepy to have a child saying this, my editor agreed and I changed it to this less pedophilic punch line. That's the nature of the business.

At the risk of sounding like an old timer, I cannot believe how far phone technology has come in my lifetime. Until I was a teenager, you had to dial a phone with that rotary thing, which was an arduous and deafeningly noisy task. There was no such thing as a cordless phone, so you had to stand wherever the phone was. The wires were not detachable, either, and you couldn't switch it off.

We thought the "future" had arrived when they invented extra long curly cords that went from your phone to your handset. But those looked like a bowl of dried spaghetti within a couple of months and you were back to standing next to the phone.

Voice mail and answering machines didn't exist, of course. An answering machine was anyone you could talk into answering the phone so you wouldn't have to get up. I was my parents' answering machine, as well as their TV remote.

On the subject of answering machines, have you noticed Hollywood is the only place that hasn't given them up for electronic voicemail? Movies and TV shows still regularly have old fashioned answering machines, so the audience (and characters in the room) can hear who's calling, thus advancing the drama. James Bond has a car that sees in infrared and shoots nanobots but he still uses an answering machine he bought at Target in 1974. "James, if you're there pick up! Pick up! Pick up!" Does he still have a block of ice hand delivered to his "icebox" every morning, too?

Don't forget to check back at 4pm NYC time today for the contest. See the post below.

CONTEST LATER TODAY!

The contest I'll post today at 4pm is more or less the same as the previous ones, see here.

The only change might be the number of differences, so check the rules as they are posted on the contest to make sure of how many you're looking for.

Hope you enjoy playing along as much as I enjoy asking you to.

Choices

Bizarro is brought to you today by Roofing Nails.

I have ambiguous feelings about this cartoon. When I wrote it, the idea of a roofer giving each nail the option of implanting itself into the wood (the easy way) before he pounds them in with a hammer (the hard way) was funny. Now, I'm not so sure.

On a more positive note, wouldn't you love to own a Bizarro Alien T-shirt like the snazzy gentledude in this cartoon? NOW YOU CAN!

Tomorrow at 4pm NYC time I'll post another cartoon contest. Hope you win!