Bigger Better Beastly

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Magic of Sculpture.

Again, for some reason that is probably no more exciting than coincidence, here is a cartoon about fighting.

But it's not really about fighting. I got this idea from watching a basketball game on TV. As baggy pants became a fashion trend among ghetto thugs and then suburban mall rats, the NBA went to increasingly bigger shorts, and other levels of basketball followed. The small shorts of the 70s look ridiculous to us now, but they were that size because they didn't restrict the player's movement. I doubt the same can be said for the shorts of today, it looks like guys playing basketball in dresses. Once they start sweating, they're playing in wet dresses. Charming.

I would think that if one player suddenly decided to wear a uniform that fit, he'd be able to outmaneuver the other guys in their 1920s ladies swimsuits, win games, and the trend would reverse. If it were all about function, as most sports clothing is, their uniforms would resemble that of a cyclist. But would the egos of the NBA be caught dead in bike shorts? I wonder.

So here is a cartoon featuring boxers with huge, over-sized equipment and shorts, and don't they look cool? Can't wait to see them wield those gloves.

ANSWERS TO YOUR COMMENTS!

THIS IS A SPECIAL POSTING ABOUT ELVIS AND MIXED MARTIAL ARTS. A FEW MINUTES AFTER I POST THIS, I'LL DO MY REGULAR CARTOON POSTING:

I got a number of comments about these two subjects which I wanted to address, so rather than hide them in the comments section where the people they are aimed at may never see them, I'm putting them in this EDICION ESPECIAL posting.

Yes, I learned about Elvis's fascination with Holy Grail from the recent Python documentary. Great show, by the way, catch it if you can.

Some say dogs and dolphins fight for fun. I actually don't know anything about that behavior in dolphins and I'm too lazy to look it up, but when dogs rough-house, it isn't really fighting. When I say "fighting" I'm talking about inflicting pain, injury and occasional death for fun. Dogs don't do that, as far as I'm aware.

Someone mentioned that chimps do this and I don't doubt it. Chimps are among our closest relatives (I think only gorillas are closer DNA-wise?) and exhibit some of the same abhorrent behavior as we do. Someday there may be two species of dangerous, mutant apes on the planet. If we don't kill them all first. (which, of course, we would)

I didn't mean to criticize the existence of Mixed Martial Arts or demean the abilities of the participants. I have no doubt that it takes an incredible amount of training and discipline to reach the highest levels. I can appreciate it and could even potentially become a fan, but while violence within a sport is something I can stomach, I'm a little too squeamish when violence is the point of the sport. Just a personal preference thing, not a judgmental thing.

Regarding the existence of these sports, I think they perform an invaluable service to society. Given that humans are by nature violent, mutant apes, if we didn't employ vicarious ways to express our violent urges I suspect it would lead to even more war and violent crime. Perhaps this is one reason that sports have existed as long as human societies have. When given the choice of leaving home to shoot real people or sitting in your beanbag chair with a sixpack of Bud watching people fight in a cage, most people will choose the beanbag. Without that choice, men will go out and break things.

Which reminds me, most of this problem with human violence resides in males, not females. Although some women are in touch with their violent side. (Sarah Palin)

Someone questioned my comment that humans have no natural weapons like fangs, claws, etc., by saying "what about our minds?" I understand your point but it I don't think it is really the same thing. Until we developed our current brain powers, humans weren't particularly good at "out-thinking" stronger, faster animals. That happened after we developed language and thus, the ability to plan and cooperate, which occurred relatively recently in our history. Just my opinion based on something I probably heard on Jeopardy, I'm not an anthropologist.

Caged

Bizarro is brought to you today by Bunnies.

I've never watched an entire cage match, only a minute or so. I find it fascinating like a car wreck: can't not look but then wish I hadn't. I'm not talking about the phony-baloney wrestling cage events, I'm talking about these Ultimate Fighter competitions, in which two guys literally beat the crap out of each other until somebody gives up or dies.

Humans are such a contradictory species. Without any natural fighting weapons – fangs, claws, stinger, venom, strength – we are still the single-most violent animal on the planet. We're the only one that fights for entertainment, for things we want but don't need, over control of the TV channel changer.

But even though I have an elitist/pacifist attitude toward violence, I admit I'm still attracted to it. My favorite sport is hockey and I enjoy reading or watching shoot'em-up stories about good guys blowing away bad guys. But I think a part of controlling our violent nature is to realize it is part of our nature. I've always found it easier to behave ethically if I recognize my ability to behave unethically. I wouldn't take a job as a college professor, for instance, because I prefer to remain faithful to my wife.

When I see these "cage fighters," I often wonder what kinds of horrifying places they must have come from to have honed these kinds of skills to such a high level. (Same with Dick Cheney.) It's probably good to toss them in a cage and let them duke it out where they can't hurt anyone else. In fact, I'm thinking of bringing a cage home for the holidays.

BEEN GONE FOR DAYS

Thanks for your patience, I've been locked out of my blog since Wednesday night because of a password glitch but now have solved it.

Barring further weirdness, I should be posting more-or-less daily again.

Monkey Covers

Sunday is Monkey Covers day here at YACB. Because there's nothing better than a comic with a monkey on the cover!

Remember: never fall asleep at your desk while holding a gun; there may be a thieving monkey in the room, as on the cover of Super Detective Library #134 (1959).


Image courtesy of the GCD. Click on the image for a larger version.

A King is Born

Bizarro is brought to you today by Menage a Trois.

I've always been fascinated by the Elvis phenomenon, not because I am a "fan" per se, but because he epitomizes the mythical American dream.

A poor, relatively uneducated backwater goon with nothing more than good looks, a voice, and a talent for musical interpretation (as opposed to songwriting or musicianship) becomes one of the richest and most influential celebrities of modern times. (Sinatra would fall into this same category, of course.)

As reported by those who knew him personally, he was also more than a shade on the lunatic side. And although the prosecution of the "hippie drug culture" was one of his passions (he asked Nixon to make him a "Federal Agent at Large" with the intent of infiltrating "hippie groups" and busting them) he died of a drug overdose. Conversely, The Beatles, whom he derided for their drug use and anti-American sentiment (huh?) have not.

In spite of what some people (me) would consider to be a veritable treasury of unappealing traits and a relatively small window of actual talent (though his talent for singing was truly great, that's pretty much all the guy could do) he is perhaps the most widely impersonated person in the world. Hordes of people have even elevated him to deity status.

I'm a fan of some of his work, many of his early hits are amazing, but not a fan of the man. Still, I once had a small breakfast room in my house dedicated to Elvis, with statues, murals, photos, and various bright colors on the walls and ceiling. All for camp value, of course, but I eventually got tired of explaining to visitors that I was not "one of those Elvis nuts." Well, I was (and am) but for different reasons.

I'm still a little obsessed with the weirdness of Elvis, as evidenced by the photo at left. CHNW and I were married by an Elvis impersonator in Las Vegas and it was the most entertaining wedding I've ever been to, by far. And not at all because it was ours. Personally, I think marriage ceremonies are just about as campy as Elvis, so why not vamp it up? Thankfully, it was the 1950s Elvis, not the fat, BeDazzled Elvis of the 70s.

One thing I learned recently that is firmly in Elvis's favor is that he was a huge fan of Monty Python and watched "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" repeatedly. This surprises me, I always imagined Elvis would have had a George-Bush-style sense of humor: corny, simple, slapstick, crude. I guess I misunderestimated him.

So here is my cartoon parody of the famous "Elvis has left the building" story. Hope you got a chuckle.

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this morning. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
2 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
3 (+1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
4 (+1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
5 (-2). The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb
6 (+1). Logicomix: An Epic Search for Truth
7 (+3). Dilbert: 2010 Day-to-Day Calendar
8 (+3). Watchmen
9 (-3). The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks
10 (-2). Warriors: Ravenpaw's Path #1: Shattered Peace *
11 (+11). Green Lantern: Agent Orange
12 (-). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
13 (+3). Stitches: A Memoir
14 (-1). Bloom County Complete Library Volume 1
15 (-). The Complete Peanuts 1971-1974 Box Set
16 (N). Charles Darwin's On the Origin of Species: A Graphic Adaptation
17 (-3). Predators and Prey (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Vol. 5)
18 (-9). Tumor Chapter 1 (kindle)
19 (-1). Simon's Cat
20 (+6). Marvel Encyclopedia
21 (+6). The Arrival
22 (-2). V for Vendetta
23 (+9). Scientific Progress Goes 'Boink': A Calvin and Hobbes Collection
24 (+19). 14 Years of Loyal Service in a Fabric-Covered Box: A Dilbert Book
25 (-). Batman: The Killing Joke
26 (-5). Tales from the Crypt #8: Diary of a Stinky Dead Kid
27 (-4). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
28 (-11). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
29 (-). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
30 (R). The Best American Comics 2009
31 (N). Dilbert: 2010 Wall Calendar
32 (R). The Complete Far Side 1980-1994
33 (N). Absolute Justice
34 (R). Asterios Polyp
35 (R). Batman: Year One
36 (R). The Complete Persepolis
37 (N). Escape from Dullsville *
38 (N). Bone Volume 2: The Great Cow Race
39 (N). Dark Tower: Treachery
40 (-16). Bone: The Complete Cartoon Epic in One Volume
41 (+9). Bone Volume 1: Out From Boneville
42 (R). Ignorance, Thy Name Is Bucky: A Get Fuzzy Collection
43 (N). Garfield Will Eat for Food: His 48th Book
44 (R). Fables Vol. 12: The Dark Ages
45 (R). The TOON Treasury of Classic Children's Comics
46 (R). The Long Way Home (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 1)
47 (R). Maximum Ride: The Manga, Vol. 2
48 (R). Time of Your Life (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 4) *
49 (R). Warriors: Tigerstar and Sasha #3: Return to the Clans
50 (R). The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier

Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.

N = New listing appearing on list for first time
R = Item returning to the list after having been off for 1 or more weeks


Commentary:

* The Four Wimpy Kid volumes are back together on top of the list. Expect to see them entrenched there for a while, unless the new printing of Crumb's Genesis gives it another spike.

* I suspect that the recent interest in strip collections is due to the upcoming holiday gift giving season.

* The highest debut belongs to Charles Darwin's On the Origin of Species: A Graphic Adaptation, a comic I didn't even know existed until I saw it on the chart. Score another win for the secret comic book economy.

* The bottom part of the chart is almost completely different from last week; eighteen of the last twenty items are either new or returning after an absence.

* I'm pleased to see The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier sneak back on to the list; no doubt due to increased interest caused by the recent censorship controversy.