Dr. Prevaricator

Bizarro is brought to you today by a Visit to the Doctor.

Regular readers will remember that two days ago I claimed it was my birthday and that I was off to the doctor for my yearly checkup. Both things happened, here is the update:

1. Because of my birthday claim, a handful of you donated funds to my paypal account and received a personal email of thanks from me. I am touched. My heart is weeping. I feel goo in my shoes. Honestly, you are too kind and I assure you that the money will not be spent on booze, courtesans, cheap cigars or flashy clothing. Nor will I spend it on unnecessary items. (ba da boom)

2.Doctor visit was fine. He looked at, around, over, and in me and found nothing alarming. He also borrowed some bodily fluids for further testing (I told him he could keep them, no need to give them back) and told me to call next week for results. I'll let you know if any particularly dark news comes my way, but I'm not expecting any, as I have no symptoms.

Except for my gushing eyes, which continue to weep from the kindness shown by those of you who hit the "donate" button at right. Garsh, I'm beside myself.

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this morning. All the previous caveats apply.

1 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
2 (+1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
3 (-1). The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb
4 (+3). Watchmen
5 (-1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
6 (-1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
7 (-1). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
8 (-). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
9 (-). The Complete Persepolis
10 (+3). Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
11 (+5). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
12 (-). Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic
13 (+1). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
14 (+9). American Born Chinese
15 (-4). Logicomix: An Epic Search for Truth
16 (-4). Footnotes in Gaza: A Graphic Novel
17 (+12). The Complete Maus: A Survivor's Tale
18 (+16). Stitches: A Memoir
19 (-2). V for Vendetta
20 (-5). Asterios Polyp
21 (+1). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
22 (+4). The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks
23 (+18). The Arrival
24 (-7). The Walking Dead Volume 11: Fear The Hunters
25 (N). Unwritten Vol. 1: Tommy Taylor and the Bogus Identity
26 (+14). Blankets
27 (-3). Predators and Prey (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Vol. 5)
28 (R). Batman: The Killing Joke
29 (N). Dark Tower: The Fall of Gilead *
30 (-11). Dilbert: 2010 Wall Calendar
31 (-). Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight Volume 6: Retreat *
32 (-2). Simon's Cat
33 (R). Batman: Year One
34 (+15). The Long Way Home (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 1)
35 (-7). Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 1: Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life
36 (-). Stephen King's The Stand Vol. 2: American Nightmares
37 (N). Cover Run: The DC Comics Art of Adam Hughes
38 (N). Fullmetal Alchemist Volume 22
39 (R). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
40 (+5). No Future For You (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 2)
41 (R). Y: The Last Man, Vol. 1: Unmanned
42 (-). Marvel Encyclopedia
43 (R). Wolves at the Gate (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 3)
44 (N). The Walking Dead Book 5
45 (-35). Dilbert: 2010 Day-to-Day Calendar
46 (-2). The Complete Peanuts 1971-1974 (Box Set) (Vol. 11-12)
47 (N). Palestine
48 (R). Green Lantern: Agent Orange
49 (-3). The Walking Dead Compendium Volume 1
50 (N). Babymouse #12: Burns Rubber



Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.

N = New listing appearing on list for first time
R = Item returning to the list after having been off for 1 or more weeks


Commentary:

* The University Effect is still strong, with graphic novels favored by college courses still hanging out near the top of the list.

* There are a lot of new titles this week, led by the first collection of Mike Carey & Peter Gross's Unwritten at #25. This is the first time since I've been keeping track that Palestine has made the top 50, and also the first appearance of one of the Babymouse volumes (squeaking in at #50).

* Looks like I'm going to stick with Fridays for compiling these lists, so just treat last week as a slight aberation.

* Yes, I'm still going to post an epic Amazon Best sellers of 2009 follow-up; I hope to work on it some this weekend...

Dog Day

Bizarro is brought to you today by Navin's Cake.

I haven't had a birthday in a while, so let's say today is my birthday. Please donate lots of money to me with the PayPal donation button on the right. I'm only a little bit famous and not rich at all, so I could really use it. Go for it. If everyone who reads this blog donates just $5, I'll have over $40 to spend on something nice for myself!

I normally post a contest on Thursdays, but I'm not going to be able to today because I have to pay a relative stranger to put his finger in my butt. Yes, it's time for my yearly checkup. To find out what I'm going to die of and how soon, check this blog tomorrow.

You're dandy and deep down inside, you know it.

Cartoon Scholarship

This is a real good deal for college students who want to be cartoonists. The National Cartoonists Society gives out a scholarship each year and you get to come to our annual convention and meet all the famous guys and stuff.

Click on the image for a closer view.

Deviled Eggs

Bizarro is brought to you today by Purveyors of Magic.

This is one of my personal favorites of late. Something about the goose/gorilla/teacher's matter-of-fact attitude about her "suspicions" makes me smile. Drawing her was a kick. (Random note: the character at left unintentionally ended up looking a lot like my cousin,
Steve, in Kansas City.)

I grew up in Oklahoma alongside people who actually believed in black magic. They were "born again" Christians and didn't practice BM themselves, of course, but believed it existed, would not allow their children to play with Ouija boards or dress as anything "evil" on Halloween. They sincerely believed these kinds of activities attracted the attention of Satan and would lead to no good. They were also completely convinced that Satanic cults were responsible for the majority of missing children in the U.S. as a result of their need to make regular human sacrifices.

I know there are still plenty of people in first-world nations who believe in black magic even today. Perhaps some of you readers do. You're welcome to your beliefs, of course, who am I to judge? (Other than a rational, thinking human being who can say with reasonable certainty that all magic is illusion and/or suggestion.)

Whether you believe in invisible forces or not, hope you got a smile from this cartoon.

A Year of Comics Reading

Well, 11 months actually. Here's a chart showing how many comics I got each week, and how many I read each day, from February to December of 2009:



(Click to make it legible size...)

I've mentioned before on this blog the fact that I have a fairly sizable comic book backlog; I estimate that it's somewhere around 1000 unread comics. This chart was part of my plan to try to reduce the size of the backlog.

Studies show that people who track calories by writing them down and monitor their weight weekly do a better job at losing weight and keeping it off. So early last year I decided to do the equivalent to see if I could slim down my comics backlog.

It seems to have been successful; by the end of the year the backlog was down 102 comics from where it was at the start of the year.

I averaged reading 31 comics each week. The biggest day for reading comics was Saturday; the lightest were Tuesday & Wednesday.

I began my 'week' on Thursday, since that's the day my DCBS shipment usually arrives. Any other comics acquired during the week also got added in.

I counted each item acquired and each item read as one comic, whether it was a 24-page pamphlet or a 720-page tome (I'm looking at you, Dash Shaw's Bottomless Belly Button!)

Did You Myth Me?

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Friends for Dinner.

I could go off on another of my religious screeds but I shan't. For I findst mineself woefully arrears on mine weekly deadlineth and fear I shall be smited sorely.

Instead, let's say this cartoon reflects my own lack of expertise in the area of metric measurements (not to mention Biblical.) Like many of you, I was in public school in the seventies when the U.S. gov decided to get us on track with the rest of the world and switch us all to metric. It worked about as well as the "war on drugs" and our move toward independence from foreign oil.

All I'm saying is – God, don't be asking me to build the next ark unless you're going to explain it in feet and inches. Come to think of it, since you're all magic and ominipotent and stuff, why don't you just zap an ark into existence and tell me where to find it? Please make sure it has Internet, cable TV, and a decent-sized kitchen. Think "MTV crib" with animals.