Parrot Psychology

Bizarro is brought to you by The Life of the Artist.

Knowing how to ask for what you want in life is an important skill. Many people suffer through years of discomfort within a relationship because they don't know how to ask for what they want from their partner.

This includes everything from simple things like, "I'd like you to spend more time on the backs of my knees during our lovemaking," to more complex issues like, "I would feel more comfortable if you did not sleep in full combat gear."

After years of therapy, I recently asked CHNW if she would be more sensitive to my insecurities regarding my checkered past. Specifically, I'd like her to stop introducing me as her "former jailbird husband." She happily complied, she'd had no idea it bothered me. Why did I wait so long?

I encourage all of my readers to work on these areas, as our friend the parrot is doing today.

Craigslist

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Future of The Past.

One of my favorite sites on the Interwebs is You Suck at Craiglist. Notice I didn't link to the name just then? That's because if you go there, you'll be trapped for hours and won't get back to my blog. So there is a link at the bottom of this post for those of you who want to go there after you've read my own clever, daily musings. And for those of you who have already jumped to the bottom and clicked that link, I HATE YOU, YOU'RE UGLY AND STUPID AND MEAN!

Hey, here's some totally cool news. The iTunes site has picked my Bizarro phone app to put on their "New and Noteworthy" page. Thanks, Apple! I could use some sales!

The problem is that there are baziglions of apps on the market and more coming out every nanosecond, so to get noticed you have to be reviewed or featured on a bunch of different sites. It's hard.

Here's a pic of what it looks like on the iTunes site. Go there a buy my app, it's cheap and oh so cool to have! And it will get you that perfect soul mate you've been looking for, guaranteed!*






Here's the link to You Suck at Craigslist.

*Not an actual guarantee.

The Game or Life

Bizarro is brought to you today by Spirituality.

The seed for this cornstalk of a cartoon came from my good friend, Richard Cabeza. We call him "Dick," and sometimes translate his last name into English. But that's not the point.

The point is that I grew up in Oklahoma with fundamentalist Christians who believed that the popular Ouija Board game could be used by The Devil to control you. Grown adults at church would preach to other grown adults that they should not let their children play with this kind of "occult" toy and if they had one in the house, it should be burned. These were otherwise normally functioning adults capable of operating motor vehicles and holding down office jobs.

I'm guessing that in those households in which the Ouija Board had been removed, The Devil just switched to Scrabble. If you're even a moderately clever supernatural force of evil, I'm sure you can think of other ways to get bad ideas into kid's heads and damn their souls to eternal torment. TV news, movies, video games, rap music, the Old Testament, the world is full of violence, hatred and prejudice. Who needs board games?

Monkey Covers

Sunday is Monkey Covers day here at YACB. Because there's nothing better than a comic with a monkey on the cover!

Gorilla body slam! on the cover to Human Defense Corps #2 (2003) by Clement Sauve Jr. & Juan Vlasco.

(Standard disclaimer about lab coat-wearing gorillas not really being monkeys applies.)

Image courtesy of the GCD. Click on the image for a larger version.

Socks that Kill

(TO VIEW THIS IMAGE LARGER, CLICK ON THE BRA)

Here is another stereotypical cartoon about the amazing powers of static electricity. Each year, several hundred people are killed in the U.S. alone by not using some form of anti-static device in the dryer. Usually, you just get a little crackle and pop when you pull the clothes out of the drum, but when conditions are just right, you could be in for a shock of up to 12,000 volts, which is nearly five times as much as is used in prison electric chairs! Beware, citizens, your next load of laundry could be your last!

This message brought to you by Dryer Balls. "Who doesn't want dryer balls?"

OMG!

Drawn!

I realized long ago that being featured on the illustration blog, Drawn, would be something special indeed. Im happy to say the day has come! A big thank you to John Martz and Joe Bluhm for the post and recommendation, respectfully. Both of these guys are HUGE talents, so I'm honored.


xo
-justin