Black Kansas City Tuesday

Bizarro is brought to you today by Roll Models.

A couple of readers just emailed me today to tell me that The Kansas City Star canceled Bizarro. This cuts me deep, my friends. If it's true, that is. Sometimes a paper will move my cartoon or change it from a panel to a strip, or vice versa, and readers just assume it is missing.

But if you're within arm's reach of a KC Star, please have a gander and see if Bizarro is absent and if so, write, email, or call them and express your loss of a reason to live. If you're calling from a payphone, threaten to take hostages – just make sure you get off the phone before they can trace the call and don't actually take any hostages.

I was born in Kansas City and my parents were born and raised there, as were many of my other relatives who still reside within its city limits. How can they do this to a native son? Was it something I said? Was it the atheist dog cartoon from yesterday? Was it my family's Mafia connections back in the 1920s?

I don't mean to put too much emphasis on this personal tragedy, but I shall wear black and refuse to cut my hair until Bizarro is reinstated in my hometown newspaper. Or until I get tired of wearing black and I begin to look like a homeless guy, whichever comes first. I encourage all of you across the globe to do the same. If we show our solidarity, we can beat this thing. Or at least start a Cure tribute band.

IITS in Comic-Con 2010 Small Press

Hey IITS Readers,

No big surprises for the show this year...mostly we'll be continuing to promote Islands in the Sky to new fans and to generate more buzz for our property. However, those of you attending the show this year, please drop by and say, "Hi," to us. We'd love to see you! =)

We'll be in Small Press, booth M11...probably under "Islands in the Sky" or maybe "Keno's Lair". Hope to see you there!

- Joseph

The Poo Returns

This week, that creepy wizard from way back here shows up.

As for the last poll's stats, when asked "Who's going to Hell?" you responded:

the Religious Nuts (55%)

probably me (40%)

Miss Sunshine (20%)

Poo (19%)

the Mushrooms (10%)

Maggie (6%)

Leslie (5%)

Robot (5%)

Unicorn (4%)

Plus, a couple of you left sweet messages declaring that NOBODY is going to Hell. What an open-minded and forgiving readership you are. However, a lot of you have it in for undeserving little Poo. Poor, poor, misunderstood Poo.

Keep voting and be our friend ( ^_^ )

Invasion Scenario

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hot Letters.

I drew this cartoon because I, myself, am a non-Henderson. 'Nuff said.

Here is a story about last night:
CHNW and I were spending a quiet evening in our upstairs living room watching television when suddenly, around midnight, I spotted movement in my periphery and turned my head to the darkened corner of the room where our spiral staircase ascends from the ground floor. There, rising like one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, was a large male figure.

Huge, pointy-clawed hands which I did not know resided within my chest grabbed my heart and squeezed hard, using their hairy elbows to push all of the air out of my lungs. For a solid 2 seconds, I was certain we were the victims of a home invasion and my mind raced to think what pointy or heavy object was within arm's length with which I could defend our lives and homestead. As he reached the top step and moved into the room, my razor-sharp brain suddenly recognized him and the claws let go of my heart as I was able to breath again.

For the past few days, CHNW and I have had a house guest, whom we will call Victor because that is his name. He is a youngster, college-age, and he was spending a few days in the city to see some Broadway shows and get lost in the city trying to navigate the subway system. Last night he went to see Avenue Q, a terribly funny show which I can recommend to anyone who enjoys funny things. (CHNW and I were watching HBO's True Blood, which I can recommend to anyone who likes blood.) Victor had been gone since around noon and I didn't hear him come in downstairs. Because my mind is more like a pocket calculator than a desktop computer, I had forgotten all about him.

In all my life I've never been so happy to see a male college student and he, CHNW and I had a good laugh. CHNW pointed out that the only weapon-worthy object in the room was my statue from the National Cartoonists Society. Victor came very close to being the first person in history to be murdered by a Reuben Award; a very dubious distinction, indeed.

And I would likely have been the first person to use the "I'm sorry, officer, I forgot he was staying with us" defense.

Crazy Erect Mullet

Bizarro is brought to you today by the Anti-Mullet.

Here are three cartoons from the past week. In the first, we see a fine, patriotic American in a mullet. Hard as it is to believe, there are still people out there who wear their hair this way. That's fine, don't get me wrong, it's everyone's prerogative to wear their hair any way they like and far be it from me to ridicule someone for looking unconventional. But still, the mullet is a hideous hairstyle and inherently funny. To me, that is.

The next offering comes from my vast experience with therapists. They always give an emergency number you can call when they are out of town. I don't actually use therapists for emergency-style problems so it amuses me when they tell me that. But I understand people who do. If you're seriously suicidal or something, you'd hate to be on the railing of a bridge and find out the one person you trust to talk you down is on a beach in Barbados and can't come to the phone. Myself, I go when I'm having trouble making a life decision like breaking up with someone or changing jobs or something, so I can't see myself calling a surrogate and pleading for help. "Should I do it in a restaurant, or in her apartment? What if she starts breaking things?"

Lastly, we have an erectile dysfunction gag, which is always funny, as long as you aren't the Viagra taker. I have no erectile difficulties, so this is still funny to me. Or maybe I'm just pretending it's funny to me so nobody will know I have an erectile problem. Most of you will never know.

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this morning. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (-). Scott Pilgrim Volume 6: Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour *
2 (-). Blackest Night
3 (-). Green Lantern: Blackest Night
4 (+3). Blackest Night: Green Lantern Corps
5 (-1). Troublemaker Book 1: Alex Barnaby Series 3 *
6 (+3). Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 3: Scott Pilgrim & the Infinite Sadness
7 (+1). Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 1: Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life
8 (+2). Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 2: Scott Pilgrim Versus The World
9 (-3). Diary of a Wimpy Kid 5 *
10 (-5). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
11 (+1). Batwoman: Elegy
12 (-1). Cover Run: The DC Comics Art of Adam Hughes
13 (+12). Blackest Night: Black Lantern Corps Vol. 1 *
14 (+1). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
15 (-2). Walking Dead Volume 12 *
16 (+2). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
17 (+3). Blackest Night: Black Lantern Corps Vol. 2 *
18 (+14). Star Wars: Legacy Volume 9 - Monster *
19 (+20). Odd Is on Our Side *
20 (N). American Splendor: The Life and Times of Harvey Pekar
21 (+1). The Walking Dead Compendium Volume 1
22 (+4). Blackest Night: Rise of the Black Lanterns *
23 (+7). Blacksad
24 (+17). Absolute Planetary Book Two *
25 (-11). Twilight: The Graphic Novel, Volume 1
26 (+8). The Walking Dead Book 5
27 (-10). Irredeemable Vol 3
28 (-5). Kick-Ass
29 (+6). Absolute Planetary Book One
30 (+3). Blackest Night: Tales of the Corps *
31 (+9). Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season Eight Volume 6: Retreat
32 (-1). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
33 (N). The New American Splendor Anthology: From Off the Streets of Cleveland
34 (-18). Watchmen
35 (-6). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
36 (R). The Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes and Nocturnes
37 (-13). Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
38 (R). Predators and Prey (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Vol. 5)
39 (-20). The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb
40 (R). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
41 (-14). The Long Way Home (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 1)
42 (+3). V for Vendetta
43 (-5). Hellboy Volume 10: The Crooked Man and Others
44 (-7). Prince Valiant: 1939-1940 (Vol. 2) *
45 (N). Best of American Splendor
46 (R). The Walking Dead Volume 11: Fear The Hunters
47 (R). Dark Tower: The Battle of Jericho Hill *
48 (R). Dark Tower: The Fall of Gilead
49 (N). Pokémon: Diamond and Pearl Adventure!, Vol. 7
50 (-22). Wilson


Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.

N = New listing appearing on list for first time
R = Item returning to the list after having been off for 1 or more weeks


Commentary:

* Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour, which hits stores next Tuesday, stays entrenched at #1 this week, and climbs to #36 on the overall books chart.

* Blackest Night remains strong, with the released hardcovers filling in at #2-4 on the chart, and four more pre-order hardcovers falling in further down the list.

* Interest in Harvey Pekar is sparked by his passing, with three American Splendor collections pushing up on to the chart.

* The only non-Pekar debut this week is the latest Pokémon: Diamond and Pearl Adventure down near the bottom. It's also the only manga to chart this week.

Watercolor Wednesday

It's been a while since I've posted a Watercolor Wednesday, so I thought I'd show this drawing I was commissioned to create for a Mythfits fan. Apparently, there are people out there that identify with Robot OR Unicorn :)

I really enjoy the gender differences between these two. Somehow, they balance each other out. Which one do you identify with? Or which supporting character? Robot will be analyzing the results.