New Geraniums & Bacon

One of my fave mini-comics creators, Cathy Leamy, just dropped a line that she'll have a new issue of Geraniums & Bacon—issue #5—at MoCCA this weekend. If you're there, look for it! If like me you won't be there, she should soon have it available for sale at her Website.

(I previously reviewed the first two issues of G&B.)

Electric Chair Religion

This cartoon has never appeared in Bizarro, of course, it's a little too controversial for the funny pages of the daily paper. I included it in my retrospective book, however, and have shown it at many of my comedy shows and it never fails to get heaping wads of positive comments. What I saw as a simple observation, something I actually thought of as a child of 11 or so, apparently resonates with a lot of people.

There is no editorial comment to be implied here, it's just a depiction of what the world would look like "if." How many of you reading this would have a tiny metal electric chair hanging around your neck or dangling from your ears right now? After a natural disaster you'd be getting blankets and drinking water from the American Red Chair. You might even be looking forward to this weekend's New York Times Chairword Puzzle.

Tooth Blindness

Today's Bizarro cartoon is brought to you by Vapid Pursuits Plastic Surgery Partnership. "Making millions from poor self esteem since 1976."

This idea was donated by my friend and fellow cartoonist, Michael Capozzola of Cheap City.

I like it because I dislike this current trend of making one's teeth as white as the underwear on a Tide commercial. In contrast, my teeth, which are a fairly normal color, look like rotting Cheetos. I'm afraid to smile around the luminous-mouthed people I know, for fear they will think I'm homeless, or British, or worse.

I can't afford to use an overly large pulpit on this point, however, as I did recently endure five years of adult braces. I'm ashamed now that I was vain enough to go through with it.

I had learned to live with my slightly crooked teeth until my new girlfriend at the time (1998) convinced me they were unattractive and I should get them fixed. I began to feel self-conscious and gave in, not fully realizing the physical pain, constant irritation and inconvenience that lay ahead. It was five long years of complete misery, not to mention thousands of dollars out of my own pocket for the honor. CHNW would never have even thought of making such a suggestion.

Now that they are gone and my teeth are fairly straight (I had them removed before the orthodontist recommended because I was just flat sick of them) I suppose it is fine, but if I had it to do all over again I would have skipped it. Girlfriend be damned, it's not like I was a snaggletoothed hillbilly or anything.

I won't get my teeth whitened, either, so deal with it.