Thursday, 9 April 2009

Superman Science

Bizarro is brought to you today by Baby Man.

I always liked Superman's ability to turn back time by zipping around the earth real fast and reversing its rotation. It doesn't have the least bit of science behind it, but it's a cool trick.

The problem is, once that possibility has been introduced, it begs the question why he just doesn't do it all time and stop tragedies from happening in the first place? School bus heading over a cliff? Why catch it and put all those kids' families through unnecessary anxiety and lawsuits? Just turn time back a couple hours and report that drunken driver to the principal before the bus leaves campus.

And crime wouldn't be the only time this skill was useful. You could use it after your girlfriend breaks up with you or you get fired from your job. Turn the clock back one day, leave town, find a new job and a new girlfriend. Then return to town, break up with your girlfriend because you've found someone new and quit your job. Who's crying now, sucker?