Friday, 12 June 2009

Fish Sperm, Education, Love

Bizarro is brought to you today by Our Amazing Oceans.

I often draw cartoons that require a fifth grade education or better to understand, and this is such a cartoon. I fully realize that when I do this, I leave out probably more than half the readers out there, not that my readers are younger than 11 years old, but that most people in the U.S. seem relatively uneducated. Ever see Jay Leno's "Jaywalking" routine where he asks simple questions of people on the street? It sends chills down your spine.

I've known many people with a college degree who couldn't find their way through the first round of Jeopardy with a single correct answer. I'm not talking about any of you who read this blog, of course, but it is alarming how many so-called "educated" Americans can't name the countries that border us or tell you who wrote Hamlet. Sad and scary. We're ripe for being taken over by a less lazy culture. Speak Chinese, anyone?

I like this cartoon because it depicts the unreasonable demands we sometimes put on our spouses. Female fish poop out eggs all over the place, then some male comes along and squirts his magic man juice all over them, they both have a cigarette, get dressed, and go home without so much as exchanging phone numbers and never see the babies again.

Long term monogamous relationships between humans become so prickly, even under the best of circumstances, it is easy to see why many people choose the fish method. Hopefully with the proper contraception so they leave the diseases and children out of the equation. That's never been my style, I'm a serial monogamist, but I can't fault in those who never hook up long term.

It's a lot of work and sometimes maddening. But often sublime, too.

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this afternoon. All the previous caveats apply.

1 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
2 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
3 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
4 (-). Watchmen
5 (+3). Final Crisis *
6 (-1). Time of Your Life (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 4)
7 (-1). The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Vol. 3: Century, No. 1: 1910
8 (+7). Warriors: Tigerstar and Sasha #3: Return to the Clans
9 (+2). Batman: The Killing Joke
10 (+22). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
11 (+2). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
12 (-2). Mercy Thompson Homecoming *
13 (+23). The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb *
14 (-2). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
15 (+2). Stephen King's Dark Tower: Treachery
16 (+3). Serenity, Vol. 2: Better Days
17 (+16). Wrapped-Up FoxTrot: A Treasury with the Final Daily Strips
18 (+4). Bone: One Volume Edition
19 (+4). V for Vendetta
20 (+17). Nevermore *
21 (+13). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
22 (+13). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
23 (N). Halo: Uprising *
24 (-17). The Photographer: Into war-torn Afghanistan with Doctors Without Borders
25 (N). Batman: R.I.P.
26 (-). The Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes and Nocturnes
27 (+12). The Complete Persepolis
28 (-3). Predators and Prey (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Vol. 5) *
29 (-15). Wolves at the Gate (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 3)
30 (-1). Star Wars: Vector Volume 2 - Chapters 3 & 4 *
31 (N). The Walking Dead, Vol. 9: Here We Remain
32 (N). Y: The Last Man Vol. 8: Kimono Dragons
33 (N). The Walking Dead Compendium Volume 1
34 (-3). Angel: After the Fall, Vol. 3
35 (N). The Sandman Vol. 2: The Doll's House
36 (N). The Adventures of Tintin: Tintin in America / Cigars of the Pharaoh / The Blue Lotus
37 (N). You'll Never Know Book One "A Good and Decent Man"
38 (-20). The Long Way Home (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 1)
39 (-11). Berserk Volume 29
40 (N). Y: The Last Man Vol. 7: Paper Dolls
41 (+3). The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Vol. 1
42 (N). I Did It His Way: A Collection of Classic B.C. Religious Comic Strips
43 (-19). Batman: Year One
44 (N). Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
45 (-18). Blueberry Girl
46 (N). The Complete Maus: A Survivor's Tale
47 (N). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
48 (-1). The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Vol. 2
49 (N). Serenity, Vol. 1: Those Left Behind
50 (N). Green Lantern Corps: Sins of the Star Sapphire

Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.


Commentary:

* Not a whole lot of excitement on the list this week; a large majority of the 'new' titles to the list are actually perennials returning up on the list, which tends to happen when there's not a lot of 'hot' stuff to be had.

* The biggest gainer is R. Crumb's The Book of Genesis Illustrated. Persepolis books also leap up, while Buffy books fall back to their regular levels after last week's spike.

* Only one manga title this week (Berserk) and just two Marvel titles, the bookstore-friendly Dark Tower & Halo.

* I had previously thought that The Photographer might show some legs, but it dropped rather precipitously this week.