Discriminating Readers

Bizarro is brought to you today by the Chihuahuaitis Awareness Foundation.

Far too few Americans know anything about the heartbreaking syndrome called "Chihuahuaitis." Perhaps it is because Elephantitis grabs the lion's share of the headlines when it comes to deformities named for animals.

Some common misconceptions about those suffering from Chihuahuaitis:
1. Because their head is so small, many people assume they have a diminished intellect. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, because their brains are concentrated in a smaller area they work faster and more efficiently, like with concentrated cleaners and juices, and most score higher on standardized I.Q. tests than their "normal-headed" counterparts.
2. Because some or all of their "parts" are smaller than average, people often assume they have physical limitations. While this is occassionally true (a tiny Chihuahua-sized body with normal-sized feet can limit one's mobility, for instance), for the most part they are able to participate normally in all of the activities that anyone else can. Sometimes their small size can even be a benefit. Spelunking is one example – a person with Chihuahuaitis can explore parts of a cave that average-sized people can not fit into.

The squeaky quality of their voices can also be a problem for them. Many people report being annoyed by their so-called "barking" and have difficulty understanding what the person is saying. With a little patience you can discern their words, however, and if all else fails, just give them a treat. That's more than likely what they were yapping about anyway.

I hope that cartoons like this will urge readers to consider the feelings and needs of those with Chihuahuaitis more carefully and help to make strides toward integrating them more fully into society.

Pride

Last night was an amazing experience. I spent the evening in a local Brooklyn restaurant/bar with a large group of friends and several hundred others, being swept away by wave after wave of ecstasy as new states were announced in the Obama column. After the past two elections, it was so hard to believe that it would not somehow be stolen away at the last minute, but as the evening wore on, people began to lower their guard.

When CNN called it for Obama, the entire city erupted in a roar. The bar we were in was on the second floor, with a rooftop patio overlooking the street below. Inside, hundreds of people were packed together, arms raised above their heads, screaming and jumping and laughing and crying and screaming some more. Outside, the streets were suddenly filled with people, cars, buses, bikes, and noise of all kinds. It was a scene from the overthrow of a dictator's regime in a third-world country but without the violence. It was like the city had won the World Series or the Super Bowl, but without the violence.

Makeshift bands marched down the street banging on pots and pans, cars honked incessantly, three times in a row for O-ba-ma. Flags were being waved out of car windows, people stood up through their sunroofs waving signs. And this was just a small neighborhood street in Brooklyn. Times Square must have been amazing.

Every person, without fail, had a grin from ear to ear. For hours, people just roamed the streets hugging, shouting, honking, laughing, lighting firecrackers, celebrating with strangers. I can't adequately express how wonderful it was to be a part of such a giant leap forward for this country, and how grateful I am that I was in a city that can truly appreciate it en masse. I feel for my friends in states that voted for McCain, with only a handful of people to celebrate with.

Two other victories I am excited about are the passage of Prop 2 in California, an historic vote to ban certain cruel farming practices, and the success of Question 3 in Massachussetts, which bans dog racing in that state.

All around the country, people stood up and said "enough with the bullsh*t." For the first time in many years, I'm proud to be an American. Time to take the Canadian flag off my backpack.