Confused Readers, Drunk Editors

(click the pic to make it big)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Dating Advice.

I admit this cartoon is a little opaque. I got a few emails wondering what it meant, which was not a surprise. I was thinking that the dog sees Rorschach images and interprets them as messes on the floor, to which he replies, "Bad dog." The man rewards the dog for his performance.

One odd thing I only just noticed while posting this is that in the fourth panel, there is a comma behind the "Bad dog," instead of a period. This was a mistake on my part and I'm surprised my editors didn't catch it and ask me about it. Or maybe they fixed it in the version that went to papers and forgot to tell me. Or maybe they were drunk and thought they'd told me. Or maybe they did tell me and I was drunk. Life presents so many possibilities.

If any of you had a different interpretation of this gag when you first saw it, let me know. I enjoy hearing about the way reader's minds work.

P.S. I drink, but I never get drunk. At least not on purpose. I have no idea how often my editors get drunk.

Monkey Covers

Sunday is Monkey Covers day here at YACB. Because there's nothing better than a comic with a monkey on the cover!

The staff of MAD Magazine become banana-friendly on the cover of MAD #488 (2008) by Irving Schild & Jack Syracuse!


Image courtesy of the GCD. Click on the image for a larger version.

Vault in the Daily

Local comic store Vault of Midnight was recently profiled in the Michigan Daily (the U-M student newspaper): "Mining the Vault: How A2's premier comic store came to be"

It's a pretty good piece, though I'm amused at the titles that the reporter chose in the last paragraph to illustrate the "independent comics" that Vault carries, especially since the store has a very wide selection and far more independent-ish comics than are mentioned.

Suntan in the Snow

Bizarro is brought to you today by Head Games.

Last weekend I was in Florida for three days doing a talk, visiting with family, and sitting outside without a shirt. The next day I was looking out the window of my apartment here in Brooklyn at great wads of snow falling from the sky. Three days later and it is still snowing. The forecast has it continuing for a few more days yet.

It seems surreal to go from a sunny, warm climate to a snowy one in a single day, because it is. We only recently gained the ability to do this, so it is only natural that it seems unnatural. A few times in my life I have traveled to the other side of the globe and the feeling when I returned was very strange. My mind resists fully grasping the concept that yesterday afternoon I was in Bangkok, now I'm in Texas. It's enough to whiplash the sense right out of you.

Here is a picture of my backyard today.













To more pressing issues, who killed this snowman?

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this morning. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (-). Twilight: The Graphic Novel, Volume 1 *
2 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
3 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
4 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
5 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
6 (+2). Kick-Ass
7 (-1). The Walking Dead Volume 11: Fear The Hunters
8 (+3). The Splendid Magic of Penny Arcade: The 11 1/2 Anniversary Edition
9 (-). The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb
10 (-3). Fables Vol. 13: The Great Fables Crossover
11 (-1). Dark Tower: The Fall of Gilead
12 (-). Watchmen
13 (+1). Star Wars: Legacy Volume 8 - Tatooine *
14 (+15). Dark Avengers, Vol. 2: Molecule Man *
15 (N). Negima! 25
16 (+1). Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight Volume 6: Retreat *
17 (+1). Logicomix: An Epic Search for Truth
18 (+8). The Walking Dead Compendium Volume 1
19 (-4). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
20 (+15). The Walking Dead, Vol. 10: What We Become
21 (+27). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
22 (+6). Batman: The Killing Joke
23 (+21). Asterios Polyp
24 (+3). The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks
25 (N). Halo: Helljumper *
26 (+6). V for Vendetta
27 (-14). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
28 (R). Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
29 (-6). Starman Omnibus Vol. 4 *
30 (-6). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
31 (R). Tales from the Crypt #8: Diary of a Stinky Dead Kid
32 (+10). Predators and Prey (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Vol. 5)
33 (-11). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
34 (R). The Walking Dead, Vol. 9: Here We Remain
35 (N). Bleach, Vol. 30 *
36 (+3). Bone: The Complete Cartoon Epic in One Volume
37 (-4). The Complete Persepolis
38 (R). The Arrival
39 (-23). Naruto, Vol. 47
40 (-15). Stitches: A Memoir
41 (R). Mercy Thompson: Homecoming
42 (-3). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
43 (N). Twelve Kingdoms, The - Hardcover Edition Volume 4: Skies of Dawn *
44 (N). Deadpool Volume 1: Secret Invasion Premiere HC *
45 (-26). All Star Superman, Vol. 2
46 (R). The Sandman Vol. 3: Dream Country
47 (R). The Sandman Vol. 2: The Doll's House
48 (R). The Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes and Nocturnes
49 (R). Marvel Encyclopedia
50 (-7). Berserk Volume 33



Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.

N = New listing appearing on list for first time
R = Item returning to the list after having been off for 1 or more weeks


Commentary:

* Kick-Ass continues to inch up the charts. For comparison, it is #316 on the overall chart, while Diary of a Wimpy Kid, just above it on the comics chart, is #183 on the overall chart. So it still has a way to go to challenge Twilight (#96 overall) and the Wimpy Kid. (But as the movie draws closer...?)

* Marvel have a second good week in a row. In addition to their non-Marvel Universe properties remaining strong, the second Dark Avengers hardcover moves up into the top 20, and a Deadpool hardcover debuts in the bottom half of the list.

* The Walking Dead continues to grow, with four collections now sitting in the top 50.

* The highest debut at #15 is the latest Negima! volume. Last week's manga champ, Naruto, takes a steep drop to #39.

CONTEST #19 WINNERS!!

This was a spirited contest this week, lots of entries and a good time was had by all. Our winners this week are as follows:
Grand Prize!!!!...Megan
2nd Prize!!!...Spyra
3rd Prize!!...Marcello

Both our second and third place winners are previous winners, but I think Megan is new. Many congrats to the winners and everyone who played. If you want to see the winning answers as Megan submitted it, click here.

If you'd like to see the answers graphically displayed in high-tech, click here.

Tune in tomorrow and every day for more monkey shines, and next Thursday for another contest!

CONTEST #19

FIRST PERSON TO SOLVE THE PUZZLE BELOW AND POST THE ANSWERS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION WINS! HURRY!

RULES, ETC:
As usual, two images are posted below, one is the original cartoon, the warped image beneath it has been changed in 15 ways. Your mission, if you are the disco royalty that I think you are, is to find those differences.

1. There are 15 differences between the two cartoons.
2. NONE of the differences have to do with the warped nature of the second image.
3. ALL of the differences are something missing, added, or moved, not just "bent" from the distortion. The differences will not be too subtle, so once you spot one you should be relatively certain you've found it. (As opposed to something like, "Is the hat on this one is a shade lighter than the other one? Hmmm.")
4. FIRST PERSON to correctly list the 15 differences in the comments section of the post wins 4 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards, mailed by me personally from Bizarro International Headquarters in Brooklyn. I'll even lick the stamp, unless it's self adhesive. SECOND AND THIRD persons with correct answers will each get 2 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards!
5. Put your email address on your comment so I can contact you if you win. I won't post it or keep it or file it or sell it or mount a Broadway musical about it.
6. If you live outside the U.S., I may not be able to send you a prize. Depends. Canada is probably fine, Saudia Arabia, probably not.

Click on the image below to ENLARGE and PLAY!

Contest TONIGHT, Cartoon Right Now

Bizarro is brought to you today by the Assassin's Handbook.

I've often wondered who first thought of the tear-off-a-strip-of-paper ad. It really was a stroke of genius: simple, effective, inexpensive. It caught on like wildfire and swept the world, whoever first came up with it must feel very proud. They've done more for the world than most politicians ever will.

My good friend, Cliff, came up with this idea. I don't know why. Cliff spends most of his time in a teepee outside of Dickshooter, Idaho, and occasionally an idea for a cartoon will pop into his head and he'll mail it to me on a postcard.

Later today will be another cartoon contest. I'll post it at 7pm Eastern Time. I hope you will play.

Laws of Nature and Beyond

Bizarro is brought to you today by Better Living Through Force.

I haven't much to say about this GPS cartoon other than I hope everyone understood it. The idea was that the GPS led them to a cliff above their destination, then instructed them to drive off the edge. It seemed funny when I thought of it, but I'm not sure about the final result. I like GPSs but I don't like the voice. I prefer to just use the map part, like the one on my phone, and find my own way. I don't trust the robot voice to always know the best way.

At long last I am back in front of my computer where I belong. I went to Florida this past weekend with CHNW. I was hired to do a speech for a humanist group down there, the Center For Inquiry folks, and had a great time. Good people, smart questions, laughed a lot, took me to lunch after. What's not to like?

After the talk on Saturday, CHNW, her dad and I drove to an interesting little place called Ybor City where we hit some shops and had a beer. In old timey times there was a big cigar factory there where hundreds of people hand-rolled cigars all day. The tradition continues as there are cigar shops all over the place and a few people sitting in storefront windows rolling away. If you're into cigars, this is a real treat.

This pic at left was taken with my iPhone and I think it turned out pretty swell.

Even if you're not into cigars, it is strange to see so many smoke-friendly establishments within
the borders of our law-infested land. Smoking is so uniformly despised in the U.S., even outdoors, that walking down 7th Street in Ybor City feels more like Cuba than Florida. I often get chastised by friends and fans for smoking cigars, but I try to be considerate. I usually smoke at home and never smoke around crowds of any kind unless I'm walking quickly. I figure if my passing by with a cigar is enough to set someone off, they need more help than anti-smoking laws can give them.

Lots of things annoy me momentarily in public – bad music, mullets, cologne, confederate flags, cigarettes(they smell very different from cigars because they are crap tobacco and full of chemicals), people wearing fur, the smell of someone's fastfood, people who talk too loud on cell phones, defenders of Dick Cheney, the way everyone but me drives – but I just figure that's the price of leaving my house.

I cannot imagine a society in which we legislate against everything that briefly annoys someone. This encyclopedia of signs at a playground in Sarasota springs to mind. Looks like fun, doesn't it?

Monkey Covers Birthday Bonus

Guess how old I turn today...

Monkey Covers

Sunday is Monkey Covers day here at YACB. Because there's nothing better than a comic with a monkey on the cover!

The Tiny Titans have all been turned into monkeys on Art Baltazar's cover for Tiny Titans #9!


Image courtesy of the GCD. Click on the image for a larger version.

What If There Was an Anniversary, But Nobody Threw a Party?

2010 marks DC Comics' 75th Anniversary, but you wouldn't know it by anything the company is doing!

Back in 1985, DC made a big deal out of their 50th anniversary, designing a special logo; launching Who's Who; and of course running the big Crisis on Infinite Earths mega-crossover, the comic that set the template for big company-wide crossovers for the next 25 years.

But for #75? Nary a peep!

Chalk it up to several factors, including a management shake-up and also running into the tail-end of Blackest Night, which started back in 2009.

But there some obvious things that could be done, such as marking Brightest Day as the big 75th Anniversary series.

Also, Superman #700, Batman #700, & Wonder Woman #600 will all be coming out within a few months of each other in 2010. Your big three characters, all with anniversary issues, in your 75th anniversary year? That should be an opportunity too big to ignore! A big, massive three-part epic written by Geoff Johns and/or Grant Morrison (or your new writer JMS), drawn by Jim Lee, staring Superman, Batman & Wonder Woman? That would be like printing money.

(Of course, since DC refuse to do a Sugar & Spike reprint project, we know that they must hate money...)

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this morning. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (-). Twilight: The Graphic Novel, Volume 1 *
2 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
3 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
4 (+1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
5 (+1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
6 (+3). The Walking Dead Volume 11: Fear The Hunters
7 (-3). Fables Vol. 13: The Great Fables Crossover
8 (+7). Kick-Ass *
9 (-2). The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb
10 (-2). Dark Tower: The Fall of Gilead
11 (-1). The Splendid Magic of Penny Arcade: The 11 1/2 Anniversary Edition *
12 (-1). Watchmen
13 (+1). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
14 (+5). Star Wars: Legacy Volume 8 - Tatooine *
15 (-2). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
16 (+7). Naruto, Vol. 47
17 (+22). Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight Volume 6: Retreat *
18 (-). Logicomix: An Epic Search for Truth
19 (R). All Star Superman, Vol. 2
20 (+4). Batman: Year One
21 (-1). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
22 (-10). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
23 (R). Starman Omnibus Vol. 4 *
24 (-8). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
25 (+6). Stitches: A Memoir
26 (R). The Walking Dead Compendium Volume 1
27 (+13). The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks
28 (-11). Batman: The Killing Joke
29 (N). Dark Avengers, Vol. 2: Molecule Man *
30 (+4). Wolverine: Old Man Logan
31 (R). Simon's Cat
32 (-11). V for Vendetta
33 (-5). The Complete Persepolis
34 (+10). Thor, Vol. 3
35 (+12). The Walking Dead, Vol. 10: What We Become
36 (+10). Fables Vol. 12: The Dark Ages
37 (R). Stephen King's The Stand Vol. 1: Captain Trips
38 (N). Garfield from the Trash Bin: Rescued Rejects & Outrageous Outtakes *
39 (+9). Bone: The Complete Cartoon Epic in One Volume
40 (R). Stephen King's The Stand Vol. 2: American Nightmares
41 (R). The Long Way Home (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 1)
42 (-16). Predators and Prey (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Vol. 5)
43 (N). Berserk Volume 33
44 (-22). Asterios Polyp
45 (R). Incognito
46 (R). Time of Your Life (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 4)
47 (-15). Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic Volume 8 - Destroyer
48 (-7). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
49 (-14). Vampire Knight, Vol. 9
50 (R). Y: The Last Man, Vol. 10: Whys and Wherefores



Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.

N = New listing appearing on list for first time
R = Item returning to the list after having been off for 1 or more weeks


Commentary:

* A very good week for Marvel: they place two titles in the top 10 (neither of which, however, are Marvel Entertainment properties), have the highest debut with the new Dark Avengers hardcover, and have 8 titles overall in the top 50.

* Twilight watch: #61 on the overall list, with a month to go before its release. When the date draws closer, expect it to climb back up again.

Cartoon Bullets

(To enlarge this image, click on the Calvin Klein umbrella.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Gifts.

It used to be that when I would see an old man dressed particularly badly I would wonder if I would one day be that man. Now I think it is more likely that he never cared about the way he looked in the first place, or just has lousy taste. People don't change all that much when they get old. But on many occasions I have pointed at strangers and asked my wife to shoot me if I become that guy.

Here's a bit of oddness: The day after this cartoon appeared in papers, I received the following email.

"I dont like how you put guns in your comics, espically on Valentines Day

- (man's name) for my daughter who is 11"

That was the whole thing. I usually answer all of the mail I get, positive or negative, but this one stumped me. I have no idea what to say to this man and his daughter. I want to ask so many questions.

• How about knives, can I show a person chopping onions with a knife?
  
• Are sticks okay?
  
• Is there a day other than Valentine's Day when a cartoon gun would be less offensive?
  
• Have you ever heard of words like "humor," "satire," "hyperbole," "unrealistic desires to control a world which is essentially a festival of random chaos heading downhill without brakes," "choose your battles"?

My sincere apologies to anyone who finds ink strokes in the shape of a gun in a cartoon offensive. Next time, I'll use a potato.

"If I ever try to leave the house dressed like that, point a harmless tuber at me."

Words, Phones, Beards, Snow, Puzzle

Bizarro is brought to you today by Overly Long Book Titles That Make People Uncomfortable.
Today we have a bit of wordplay in the tradition of my cartoon idol, B. Kliban. This was another collaborative effort with my word-obsessed friend, Cliff.

Speaking of words:
1. Some commentators pointed out in yesterday's post that I have confused the meaning of the term "goatee" with "Van Dyck." I have no doubt you are correct, but I lost my facial hair terms chart the last time I moved and so was utilizing common vernacular.

2. A couple of people wrote in the comments section that they had small problems with one aspect or another of my Bizarro iPhone app. All I can say is that mine works fine as does my wife's and a handful of friends I've talked to, but I will mention your comments to the programmers. Bugs in phone apps tend to float around indiscriminately, depending on how good the 3G reception is in your area, how many times you've dropped your phone, and how hemp oil-stained your fingers are when you push the buttons. My exprience with iPhone apps is that all the stuff works most of the time in most apps, and they're either free or a couple of bucks, so I figure it's just the chance you take.

3. I don't have time to post a contest today because I'm out of town this weekend and trying to achieve some deadlines in early. I'm speaking to a Florida group from the Center for Inquiry, which should be fun and certainly a good deal warmer than Brooklyn.

4. To reiterate in larger type: SORRY, NO CONTEST PUZZLE THING THIS WEEK.

Vote Early, Vote Violently

For those of you living in San Francisco area, I'd like to ask you to visit the link below and vote for Bizarro. The top four vote getters will be shown in the paper in color. Could be fun.

Thanks!

http://www.sfgate.com/comicscontest/

Goat-Mouthed Minions

Bizarro is brought to you today by Satanic Snacks.

My most heartfelt and lugubrious apologies to both of my faithful blog readers for not posting more often of late. I intend to post six days a week but have been up to my eyeballs in extra work lately.

Here is an offering which I enjoy. I've always liked goatees, even as a kid, which is LONG before they were the ubiquitous mouth frame they are today. I wore one in the early nineties, even though my (first) wife hated it and a friend of mine used to introduce me as "my friend, Satan." In contemporary art, the Devil frequently has a goatee but I have no idea why that started or how far back that goes. I've read that his arrow-tipped tail is actually a watered-down version of an erect penis, which in very early Christendom was the way he was routinely portrayed. Like much about Christian mythology, I'm guessing this image is a throwback to the satyr of Greek mythology. This is mostly conjecture on my part, so don't go use this info on Jeopardy! and blame me if you lose.

A lot of totally bald guys wear goatees, presumably because they want to have some form of hair decoration on their head and lone mustaches have come to be seen as "gay". A full beard on a bald guy is fine, but I'm not sure of the best way to handle the end of the beard, where it meets the bald head above the ears. A sharply trimmed end seems too abrupt and can make the beard look pasted on. A fade-out from beard to bald seems best, but that's got to be very difficult to achieve and maintain.

The musician, Moby, has a head undecorated by hair (except for eyebrows) and not only likes it that way but is a little militant about it. He once criticized bald guys with goatees in a conversation with me, which struck me as odd since I was wearing something similar – my current mustache and "soul patch". I'm not completely bald, so maybe that made him feel it was appropriate. Regardless, that experience was in the back of my mind when I wrote this cartoon.

While I like goatees, I know there are those who don't and will likely get a laugh from this cartoon. Or email it to their friends with goatees, in an effort to get their goat.

Why Does Marvel Front-Load Its Release Schedule?

Here's something that's bothered me for a while now:

Take a look at Marvel's release schedule for May, in terms of how many new comics are being released each week:

May 5: 46 titles
May 12: 20 titles
May 19: 18 titles
May 26: 14 titles

There are more than twice as may titles being released on the first week as there are any other week. That's 47% of their total monthly output scheduled for the first week. This pattern is not atypical for Marvel.

Mu question is: why? Do they count on many of these titles slipping a week or two? Are they playing games with FOC dates? Do they want reorders to show up on that month's shipping to game the monthly Diamond market share?

THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

So here it is President's Day and Valentine's Day back-to-back. Who can afford all of the presents for both such important holidays, especially in this sluggish economy?!

The solution is to get that special someone (and yourself) a Bizarro iPhone app! Boy, am I excited about it! I've been working for months with some very cool app designers here in NYC and we've come up with a new innovation in the comics-for-phones field!

Previously, with other comics apps, you could only buy a given number of cartoons and cram them into your phone and when you'd seen them all, that was that. Could take you ten minutes, could take you ten years.

With the Bizarro app, a NEW COMIC is added EVERY DAY! (The same comic that appears in newspapers.) PLUS, at any given time there is a YEAR'S ARCHIVE of comics that can be accessed super easy and fast from a handy-dandy calendar page. You can also click to access bio info about me (oh! so funny!), info about Bizarro (more humor!), and a help link if pushing buttons on a phone ends up being more than you can handle. Also, you can shoot an email to your other cool friends who might like this app, and you can leave comments. Last, but not least, you can
click to access this very ever-lovin' blog.

ALL FOR ONLY $1.99 PER YEAR! How can we give all of these laughs, drawings, insights, and life-changing experiences away for only $1.99 per year? I'm not sure, I'll have to ask them about raising the price to something more appropriate, like $10K per week. But for now, the price is DEAD CHEAP, so don't miss it!

As you can see from the graphic below, the home page is super long, so scroll down, amigos!

MAY I READ MORE ABOUT IT NOW?
YES! READ MORE ABOUT IT NOW!





Click it to big it...

Monkey Covers

Sunday is Monkey Covers day here at YACB. Because there's nothing better than a comic with a monkey on the cover!

Lulu doesn't read the signs on the cover of Marge's Little Lulu #159 (Either that, or she just doesn't care. Or the monkey is sneaky. Yeah, that's it—those sneaky monkeys!)


Image courtesy of the GCD. Click on the image for a larger version.

Valentine's Ten of a Kind

With apologies to everyone's favorite Little Stuffed Bull...














The Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21
Batman: The Long Halloween #5
Donald Duck #7 (2005)
Harlequin Valentine
Laugh Comics Digest #129
Looney Tunes #171
Love Fights #1
P.S. Magazine: The Preventive Maintenance Monthly #75
Simpsons Comics #106
Slacker Comics #7

(Covers courtesy of the GCD.)

About that Smallville Episode

An episode of the long-running Smallville, written by a DC Comics scribe, directed by one of the show's stars, and featuring a classic DC character.

No, not "Absolute Justice." That was something of a train wreck.

Instead I refer to last night's episode, "Warrior." It was written by Bryan Q. Miller (recent scribe of Batgirl & Teen Titans), directed by Allison Mack, and featured the return of Zatanna in a supporting role.

And it was a good deal of fun.

The plot involved a cursed comic book that turned an eleven-year-old kid into an adult super-hero (shades of Captain Marvel). While Clark & Zatanna try to find the comic and restore the kid to normal, Chloe crushes on the new hero in town. Oh, and Lois Lane dresses up as both a Storm Trooper and Xena at the Metropolis Comic Con.

One of the themes of the episode was that you need a bit of whimsy in your life and not be so serious all the time; a lesson the show itself could stand to learn. If only Smallville were this much fun more often, it would be a much better show.

Best Music of 2009

Here are four mixes on 8track.com with my picks for the best songs of 2009:











For those of you reading this anywhere other than Yet Another Comics Blog (e.g. a feed reader or Facebook) here are some handy links to the mixes:

• Best of 2009, Part 1 (A-E)
• Best of 2009, Part 2 (F-K)
• Best of 2009, Part 3 (L-N)
• Best of 2009, Part 4 (P-Z)

Believe It!

(To see this cartoon in a bigger-sized way, click on the xkelrtoi stabilizer switch on the wall)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Miracles.

I never know how many people will be confused by a given cartoon but I'm guessing this one caused its share of puzzlement. What I'm referring to here is the Church of Scientology, which has followers all over the world but is headquartered in Los Angeles, and whose faithful believe something similar to ancient space aliens are living inside them. Yes, it sounds like a strange basis for a "religion," but then it was devised by a science fiction writer, so what do you expect?

I often wonder how otherwise rational people can believe these things, but then again, all religions are pretty outrageous when you look at them objectively. They usually involve virgin births, half-man/half-gods, resurrections from the dead, magical healing, evil creatures who can get inside you, and eternal beings who float around the universe. You might think these are Judeo-Christian concepts but they are found in the vast majority of belief systems throughout human history. They are ubiquitous concepts in many faiths that predate the Bible and they persist today.

I finally saw Bill Maher's film, "Religulous" and although I fully expected to enjoy it, it was far more entertaining and enlightening than I had anticipated. I recommend it to anyone who enjoys the rational examination of human behavior and a good laugh, regardless of their faith or lack of it.

BIG NEWS!!

Very exciting, HUGE news about Bizarro to be announced on this blog on Monday! Don't miss it!

I'd tell you now, but you'd just forget it over the weekend with all of your drinking and partying and cruising for sex and household chores and napping and disco dancing and snow shoveling and playing with the dog and gambling and carousing and hiding in the bushes outside your ex's house to see who they're dating and experimenting with new hair color products.

So Monday it is.

In the meanwhile, if you have some time and are into this kind of thing, here is a long interview I did last week for a podcast. Grab your pod and put on your headphones.

http://talltalefeatures.com/2010/02/12/episode-73/

The New West

Bizarro is brought to you today by Safety.

For those readers who have not visited a state in which it is legal to carry concealed weapons, this is a sign that you see with some regularity. It is alarming to people like me, who are not used to seeing this kind of thing.

CHNW (my Crazy Half-Nekked Wife) was visiting family in South Dakota recently and we were chatting via cell phone one day while she was out shopping. She read a sign like this one to me as she was entering a store and I offhandedly asked if there was a pile of guns next to the door. Hence, the cartoon.

I don't usually get cartoon ideas from real life situations since most of my cartoons are more surreal than reality. But in this case, not much exaggeration is needed to make this surreal. If I lived in a community in which a lot of people were toting guns, I'd likely be tempted to get a gun to protect myself from all the guns. Seems like a slippery slope.

Without getting too political, if you look around the world at countries where guns are plentiful and unregulated, it is hard to find one you'd even want to visit, much less live in.

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this afternoon. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (-). Twilight: The Graphic Novel, Volume 1 *
2 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
3 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
4 (+6). Fables Vol. 13: The Great Fables Crossover
5 (-1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
6 (-1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
7 (-1). The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb
8 (-). Dark Tower: The Fall of Gilead
9 (-2). The Walking Dead Volume 11: Fear The Hunters
10 (N). The Splendid Magic of Penny Arcade: The 11 1/2 Anniversary Edition *
11 (-1). Watchmen
12 (+4). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
13 (-2). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
14 (-1). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
15 (N). Kick-Ass *
16 (+13). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
17 (+10). Batman: The Killing Joke
18 (-1). Logicomix: An Epic Search for Truth
19 (N). Star Wars: Legacy Volume 8 - Tatooine *
20 (+6). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
21 (-2). V for Vendetta
22 (+3). Asterios Polyp
23 (-14). Naruto, Vol. 47
24 (+10). Batman: Year One
25 (+12). Marvel Encyclopedia
26 (-2). Predators and Prey (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Vol. 5)
27 (R). Footnotes in Gaza: A Graphic Novel
28 (-14). The Complete Persepolis
29 (R). Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
30 (-6). Seekers: Toklo's Story
31 (+5). Stitches: A Memoir
32 (+6). Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic Volume 8 - Destroyer
33 (+8). Serenity, Vol. 2: Better Days
34 (R). Wolverine: Old Man Logan
35 (-5). Vampire Knight, Vol. 9
36 (+12). Black Bird, Vol. 3
37 (R). The Sandman Vol. 3: Dream Country
38 (+2). Tales from the Crypt #8: Diary of a Stinky Dead Kid
39 (-18). Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight Volume 6: Retreat *
40 (-5). The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks
41 (-26). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
42 (R). The Sandman Vol. 4: Season of Mists
43 (+4). The Arrival
44 (-22). Thor, Vol. 3 *
45 (R). Serenity, Vol. 1: Those Left Behind
46 (R). Fables Vol. 12: The Dark Ages
47 (R). The Walking Dead, Vol. 10: What We Become
48 (-15). Bone: The Complete Cartoon Epic in One Volume
49 (-18). Y: The Last Man, Vol. 1: Unmanned
50 (R). Wolves at the Gate (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 3)



Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.

N = New listing appearing on list for first time
R = Item returning to the list after having been off for 1 or more weeks


Commentary:

* Twilight: The Graphic Novel stays pretty steady, at #53 on the overall chart and on top of the comics chart. We're still a month away from its release though, so expect it to rise up on the overall chart once it actually comes art.

* I'm quite surprised to see The Great Fables Crossover rise all the way to #4. It appears that Fables continues to add readers and each successive collection seems to do better than the last.

* Also debuting high are The Splendid Magic of Penny Arcade and the Kick-Ass collection. No doubt the interest in Kick-Ass is due to the upcoming movie; the question is will interest remain in the comic after the movie is released? It's probably good news for comic sales that the movie's release date has been pushed back...

Contest #18 Winners

Our winners this week are:
1. Phillip Crow
2. monsterzero
3. Randy

Congrats to them and many thanks to all of you who played. Even if you don't win, it's SO MUCH FUN, RIGHT?

Another cartoon puzzler contest thingy next Thursday and daily posts of various types of shenanigans most days until then.

Winning answers:

Contest #18!!!!!

RULES, ETC:
As usual, two images are posted below, one is the original cartoon, the warped image beneath it has been changed in 15 ways. Your mission, if you are the disco royalty that I think you are, is to find those differences.

1. There are 15 differences between the two cartoons.
2. NONE of the differences have to do with the warped nature of the second image.
3. ALL of the differences are something missing, added, or moved, not just "bent" from the distortion. The differences will not be too subtle, so once you spot one you should be relatively certain you've found it. (As opposed to something like, "Is the hat on this one is a shade lighter than the other one? Hmmm.")
4. FIRST PERSON to correctly list the 15 differences in the comments section of the post wins 4 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards, mailed by me personally from Bizarro International Headquarters in Brooklyn. I'll even lick the stamp, unless it's self adhesive. SECOND AND THIRD persons with correct answers will each get 2 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards!
5. Put your email address on your comment so I can contact you if you win. I won't post it or keep it or file it or sell it or mount a Broadway musical about it.
6. If you live outside the U.S., I may not be able to send you a prize. Depends. Canada is probably fine, Saudia Arabia, probably not.

Click on the image below to ENLARGE and PLAY!

Cracker Divorce

Spread the word far and wide,
oh ye of puzzling inclinations,
for upon the dusk of this
dayeth shalt appear the
Bizarro Puzzler Game Brain-Teaser Search-n-Find Contest Thing
which hath doth beenth prophesied.

Boy, donkeys talk funny.




Now to the regular post of the day...






Bizarro is brought to you today by Soft Sexy Mouths.

This cartoon makes me laugh. I hope that you, too, have noticed a tightening of the cheek muscles and a cool wind on your teeth.

Until this evening, remember that I love you, darling reader, and that my lust for your crackers is real.

Bunny Hijinks

Bizarro is brought to you today by Unexplained Phenomenon.

Here's a cartoon that was meant to be a simple bit of wordplay. I threw a bunny with a stick of dynamite onto the computer screen because these are images I toss into my cartoons daily. About this, I did not think twice. Then came the emails.

A notable number of readers thought that the combination of religious names in the word balloon and an explosive device on the computer screen was some sort of statement about terrorism. Or maybe it was just the threatening image of a bunny. While I can see their point, it certainly never crossed my mind until I started getting the emails.

This kind of thing happens all the time. For this reason, long ago I stopped using the dynamite in any cartoon having to do with airline travel. I probably should have foreseen this interpretation, too, but I didn't. As they say here in Brooklyn, whaddyagonnado?

Speaking of headquarters, we're currently in the midst of our first big snowstorm of the season. It won't be anything like the dumping-on of the Washington D.C. area, but it's piling up. Here is a pic from my studio window.