Free Puns

Bizarro is brought to you today by Candice's Coupon Club of Carolton.

This is a gag suggested by my friend, Phil Witte. People suggest ideas to me all the time, 90% of which are puns. I like puns, but only when they are somehow surprising and fresh, as I think this one is. People groan at puns when they feel they could have thought of it themselves. You can only get away with puns when they are completely unexpected.

In my opinion, the contrast between the serious nature of the political issue and the foolishness of the pun makes this one work. Also, who among us has not known (and will one day be) an addled elderly person not quite clear on the concept?

My Ugly Ego

Yesterday, I posted a cartoon about cosmetic surgery (Mind-Boggling Beauty), which drew a comment from a reader that I must address. The reader known here as "ging," sent a link to the above children's book.

At first glance, it seems innocent enough. Most kids think their mother is beautiful, I suppose. Even if they don't, a little white lie is a minor price to pay to someone who holds your very survival in her hands.

But the description below the book tells a different story:
"Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a renowned plastic surgeon, wrote My Beautiful Mommy to help patients explain their transformation to their children. The story guides children through Mommy's surgery and healing process in a friendly, nonthreatening way. "

If you're not completely creeped out right now, you may want to check your vital signs. The lousy, psuedo-Disney art makes your skin crawl all the more. Another reader, "Julie," suggested a cartoon for Bizarro based on this topic, which I'm definitely going to use. (If you read the small print on the back of your computer, you will see that any and all ideas for cartoons submitted in the comments section of this blog become the sole property of the writer of this blog, in perpetuity.)

Some alternative titles for the book:
The Stranger With The Familiar Voice
What Did You Do With My Mommy, You Taut-Eyed Freak?!
My Mommy Is Stacked
Daddy's Weird New Wife
Why Does Mommy Always Look Surprised?

Check out the real book here.

CFP: Iron Man and Philosophy

So you want to combine your love of Marvel Super-Heroes with your degree in philosophy? Now you can in the upcoming book in The Blackwell Philosophy and Pop Culture Series: Iron Man and Philosophy. The call for abstracts is here. "Abstracts and subsequent essays should be philosophically substantial but accessible, written to engage the intelligent lay reader." Hurry; abstracts are due by August 15!

FUN and ME!

(Click image to enlarge)

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Come to Woodstock, NY this Saturday, June 14, and meet your favorite cartoonist, as well as a hundred-or-so snazzy farm animals and good food, music, dancing, face painting, caricatures (by me), more good food, beer, fun, etc.

PLUS! You can buy a limited-edition print of the image above, signed by the artist!
Holy crap! Are you kidding?!
NO!

More info here... http://www.woodstockfas.org/newsletter/2008-06.html

Mind-Boggling Beauty

Bizarro is brought to you today by Facial Fabrications of Beverly Hills.

I have ambivalent feelings about cosmetic surgery. On the plus side, for people with severe deformities or injuries, it is tremendously useful and completely warranted.

On the other hand, the way so many rich people end up looking like bad drawings of themselves in their golden years is creepy. Any time someone chops you up with a blade and rearranges you, it is dangerous, and the thought that so many people will pay bucks-a-go-go to risk their life for a slight age reduction – under the best of circumstances – is mind boggling.

Then again, if it were not for the vain and wealthy, a lot of the techniques used on deformities would not have been created. Joan Rivers alone has personally funded untold amounts of research in this area.

On the down side again, it teaches us as a society that aging is somehow wrong.

On the up side, the parts taken from Michael Jackson's nose were used to create new noses for three children born without any.

I vote "no" on unnecessary cosmetic surgery, but I didn't always hold this opinion. Back in 1996, I had my forehead extended and have been really happy with the results.

New Library Comics: Week of June 2, 2008

Here's a list of the comics we added to our library collection last week:


Clement, Mr. The gorgeous habour / Birmingham, West Midlands : Rewind Records ; Hong Kong : Black Dragon [distributer], c2004

Gaiman, Neil. The facts in the case of the departure of Miss Finch / Milwaukie, Or. : Dark Horse, 2008.

Hajdu, David. The ten-cent plague : the great comic-book scare and how it changed America / New York : Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2008.

Lehmann, Matthias. HWY.115 / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics ; London : Turnaround [distributor], 2006.

Mavrides, Paul. Skull farmer : sketchbook excerpts / Northampton, MA : Tundra, c1991.

McCarthy, Tom, 1969 May 22- Tintin and the secret of literature / Berkeley, CA : Counterpoint, c2008.

Pedrosa, Cyril, 1972- Three shadows / New York : First Second, 2008.

Seidman, David, 1959- Samuel Morse and the telegraph / Mankato, Minn. : Capstone Press, c2007

Sheinkin, Steve. Rabbi Harvey rides again : a graphic novel of Jewish folktales let loose in the Wild West / Woodstock, Vt. : Jewish Lights Pub., c2008.


This listing is available as an RSS Feed!

"Special" Species

Bizarro is brought to you today by the Aberrant Species Corporation. "You ain't seen nuttin' yet!"

I was raised to believe humans are not animals, that we are something different, in our own category, annointed by God, the only creatures with a "soul," more important in every way. I no longer believe any of those things and it isn't just from watching "America's Got Talent."


(click image to enlarge)
This arrogant mindset is what has wedged our collective asses into the environmental crack from which we currently view the world. The idea that nothing matters but you and your kind works only so long as you are not very powerful. Like for two-year-olds. Annoying, but not particularly dangerous.

Once you can destroy your surroundings with the push of a button, the flick of a trigger, or the construction of a factory farm, that arrogance becomes lethal.

There's no debating that if a life form with superior intelligence came to this planet, they would immediately conclude that the only thing standing in the way of Earth's operation as the perfect biological machine that it is, is humans. Of course, if they wished to save it, they wouldn't remove everything else, they'd remove us.