UNinquisitive Inquisition

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by the Kansas Board of Education.

Cartoonists have long explored various renditions of the "fish walking out of the sea" and other evolution motifs, and I'm no exception. There is just so much you can do and say with this subject.

I'm not entirely sure what this one is saying, but I think it might be about how some people can't believe we evolved from single-cell organisms because they are trying to see the entire picture at once. They imagine a fish got legs one morning, walked out of the ocean, bought a suit, and showed up at the office that afternoon.

Richard Dawkins uses a good metaphor in his book, "The God Delusion," saying that if you stood at the bottom of a huge, sheer cliff, you could not imagine how a person could possibly get up to the top without help. But if you go around the other side and walk up the slow incline to the top, it's quite easy. (If I've got the wrong book here, somebody let me know.)

Evolution vs. Creationism is sort of a favorite subject of mine, both in Bizarro and in my personal life. I love documentaries about the subject and have read a number of books about it, both scientific and political. I believe in being polite and diplomatic, but I admit I find it very difficult not to be condescending to supposedly well-educated people who believe in creationism in the face of so much evidence of the relative accuracy of Darwin's theory. It's as though they were born a thousand years too late.

War on Grammar

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by the Straight Talk Express.

The day this cartoon ran, I got a couple of letters from soldiers who were angry that I was making fun of our troops. I politely explained that I was not making fun of the troops or anyone else, but rather pointing my satire at the Bush administration, who began and continue this war because of oil.

One wrote back to me and claimed it is not Bush, but Al Gore and the environmentalists who are responsible for the high price of gas. At least that's what I think his nearly random arrangement of letters and punctuation was trying to convey. (not all right-wingers are illiterate, of course, but this poor fellow is damn close.)

I explained to him that Bush, Cheney, and their hoard are oil men and that they and their cronies are making billions off the current crisis. I asked him to Google "oil company profits." He wrote back and said that he had, and found nothing.

I'm guessing Google had as much trouble interpreting his scattershot English as I did.

Dedicated Cameraman

Watch this video full screen if you can. (click the little icon at the bottom of the video screen that looks like a square with brackets)

Ever been on a hike when it started to get dark and you were worried about getting back to your car in time?

http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=1438490562

Thanks to Gary for sending this.

Terrorists

Just found this video. No explanation necessary. If you can't watch it here, watch it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1EXKLVgEx0

Wildebeest Cove

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Acme Ax Grinders. "Got an ax to grind? SO DO WE!"

Okay, this cartoon is more poignant than funny, but one of my pet peeves is how soulless developers will destroy habitat, then name the tasteless housing complex they puked up after what they destroyed or displaced. If you see a gated community named "Eagle Bluff," you can bet there isn't an eagle within a hundred miles of it. But there probably used to be. "Bear's Meadow" no longer has bears or a meadow, but they do have a security guard at the gate, 24/7.

My dream is to one day have enough money to buy an entire gated community on the outskirts of some American city, evict everyone, tear it down, redo the landscape and turn it into a wildlife preserve. I would call it "Fearful Rich White Folks Sanctuary," and humans would not be allowed. If one happened to wander onto the property, he would be shot with a tranquilizer, thrown in a cage, and relocated to a nearby city. If he accidentally injured one of the inhabitants of the reserve, he would have to be put down, of course.

Triumph the Comic Insult Dog

I meant to post this ages ago, but this is the video that Robert Smigel did for our comedy show in New York benefitting Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary in May. The lineup included Janeane Garofolo, Louis CK, Gary Gulman, Dave Attell, Will Franken, and me as MC. It was a great show and a good time was had by all.

The human in the video is Doug Abel, the co-founder of Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary. He's also a successful film and TV editor, so he knows a lot of cool dudes like Shmigel, Attell and Louis CK. Here's a page about the show.

Picayunity and Pricing

Today's Bizarro cartoon is brought to you by the League of Supper Heroes.

Someone wrote to me when this cartoon appeared in the paper and said that I had Batman running in the wrong direction because the muscled side would be stronger and force the skinny side inward. I replied that she was completely correct, except that I was implying that the muscles were not real but only padding, so the weight and wind resistance of the padding would force the larger side inward.

Some cartoonists are aggravated by this kind of picayune argument from readers but I really like it. These are exactly the sorts of insignificant details I think of when I'm drawing the cartoon in the first place, so I always enjoy discussing my rationale. Usually my logic for the way I drew it is correct, but sometimes a reader proves me wrong and I'm always grateful for the education.

Back in the 80s, I got a very funny letter from a Canadian explaining why the angle of the cut of a tree I had draw would have caused the tree to fall the other direction. He argued that since he was Canadian, he should know. Since I don't know anything about lumberjacking, I wrote back and described my logic – if you cut it this way, it would fall that way – and I included a diagram. He wrote back with an apology and included a government pamphlet on how to properly fell a tree. Turned out I was right.

He and I became good friends after that, visiting each other in Toronto and Dallas, and I featured him and a few of his friends (The were the self-proclaimed "Bizarro International Fan Club and Motor Oil Company") on the back of one of my early books. I think it might have been "Post-Modern Bizarro," but I can't find a copy of it around my house right now.

On another note, check out how much this site wants for a different old book of mine. You can get the same book for $1.59 on Amazon.