Cowboy Comedy

Bizarro is brought to you today by Macho Menswear.

There are few things I enjoy poking fun at more than cowboys. I was raised around these folks in Oklahoma and Texas and have always found their odd mixture of macho posturing and obviously effeminate clothing (high-heel boots with jangly jewelry on the heels, pearl buttons, flowery two-tone shirts, wide-brim hats, a jaunty scarf about the neck, big flashy belt buckle) amusing.

Still, the one thing about cowboys that I've always liked, besides riding horses and shooting guns at people you don't like, is the clothes. I don't wear the hat or scarf or big-ass belt buckle, but I have a small collection of kooky vintage cowboy shirts and wear them often. I like the boots, too, (only the ones with slanted heels and pointy toes, not the clunky,stubby, farmy kind) but haven't found a good pair of vegan ones.

When I was a little kid, all I wanted to be was a cowboy. That notion was based on TV shows and movies, of course. I didn't realize that being a cowboy in modern times would mean driving a pickup truck instead of a horse, listening to country music (AAAAUUUUGGH!), living in the middle of nowhere, and trading your six shooter for a cell phone.

The only appealing things left are the shirts.

Reindeer Rage

Bizarro is brought to you today by my New Year's Eve Hangover.

As is my custom, here is last week's cartoon, so even though it is New Year's Day, you are looking at the Xmas Day cartoon.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I got a lot of angry mail about this one. Most people who complained were obviously Palin supporters and were tired of the never-ending attacks against her. They also saw this as a political cartoon, which I guess I can understand.

In truth, I intended this cartoon to be about the reaction of Santa's reindeer to Palin being an avid hunter and killer of all things not human, and nothing to do with politics at all. I can understand the confusion, most people don't ever consider an animal's point of view toward hunting and Palin is a highly controversial political character, so it is no surprise that that is where many (if not most) reader's minds went immediately.

Many readers complained that I was encouraging violence and vandalism against a public official. True, I'm no fan of Sarah Palin's and believe that her becoming VP would have been a monumental catastrophe from which the country might never have recovered, but I would never condone or encourage violence against her or her property. Given what Miss Wasilla (and her hillbilly clan) would do to these reindeer, however, I think a little spray paint and toilet paper is actually pretty restrained.

To spell it out: THE AUTHOR OF THIS BLOG DOES NOT CONDONE VIOLENCE OR VANDALISM AGAINST ANY MEMBER OF ANY SPECIES. THE ABOVE CARTOON IS A DRAWING, NO ACTUAL REINDEER WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF IT, NOR PROPERTY DAMAGED, NOR GOVERNORS OR BEAUTY QUEENS THREATENED.

Return to your homes and businesses, there is nothing to see here.

Bizarro is brought to you today by Rashid's Walking Sticks of Cairo.

Here is a different take on word play, a collaboration of mine with my friend, Cliff. He and I are working on a book project together, which consists entirely of word puzzles. This cartoon is not part of it, however. More on that as it develops.

I grew up in Texas and Oklahoma and found myself wondering each summer as the heat reached 100% Fahrenheit (that's 614% Celsius for those of you not familiar with the metric system), why people before the days of air conditioning decided to settle there. Especially when you consider that they regularly wore coats and ties and petticoats and long-sleeve dresses and boots and hats. If they didn't have diminished I.Q.s when they got there, they soon would after a few summers dressed like that.

Come to think of it, it might explain some of the voting patterns of the Deep South.

Christmas Humor

My friend and colleague, J. C. Duffy, of The Fusco Brothers syndicated strip and New Yorker magazine cartoon fame, posted what I consider to be a funny cartoon and a clever poem last week. The cartoon is at right, seek ye here for the poem.

His other posts are quite amusing, as well. His blog is one of my few daily reads.

Tourist Compulsions

Bizarro is brought to you today by Unique New Year's Appetizers of Omaha!

Here's a fun idea from my mythical buddy, Derek. His musing about what the observation deck on the Tower of Pisa might be like led to this drawing of Aryan tourists struggling mightily against the forces of gravity to peer through the pay telescope which was installed shortly after construction in 1302. The key to the telescope was lost in the 15th century, and the money has not been emptied since. It is thought to contain in excess of $7 million dollars in coins.

Among the most notable features of the tower is the number of tourists who take this kind of picture of it.

Santa Slim

(For a SUPER HOLIDAY SIZE look at this cartoon, click on the image!)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Family Holiday Visits

I had a lovely holiday last week, hope you did, too. Unless you didn't celebrate a holiday last week, in which case I hope you had a lovely, regular day of no particular significance. Unless you are a rotten person who makes the world a worse place for your having been in it, in which case I hope you got what was coming to you and you're reading this blog from the bottom of a pit in the wilderness. Don't bother posting your location in the comments section, either, nobody is coming to rescue you. Should have thought of that before you made the world a worse place.

This week is New Years Day, depending on your religion and culture. Don't forget to set you clocks back to 1959 and party with this dude.

Monkey Covers

Sunday is Monkey Covers day here at YACB. Because there's nothing better than a comic with a monkey on the cover!

It's Yarn Man vs. Cowboy Gorilla on Don Simpson's cover for Don Simpson's Bizarre Heroes #9 (1995).

(Standard disclaimer about cowboy gorillas not really being monkeys applies.)


Image courtesy of the GCD. Click on the image for a larger version.