Don't Let the Door Hit You in the...

Bizarro is brought to you today by Good Riddance Blemish Remover.

I have no idea where this cartoon came from but I love it. The idea of an old woman dressed in a shroud who wants nothing more than a scythe to go with her outfit makes no sense, I admit, but tickles me nonetheless.

Perhaps it was inspired by two bitter old women I have known in my own family, whose only delight comes from being a royal pain in the ass to everyone within earshot. It seems every family has one of these characters who uses guilt, complaints, self-pity, and a profound ability to sulk to impose their will on their "loved" ones.

Now that I'm older, I find these types humorous and pathetic but when I was younger, I, too, walked on eggshells to keep these cranky-pants-wearers happy. It takes some maturity and confidence to stand up to such curmudgeons, but their power lies entirely in other people's reticence to endure their foul moods. Like a schoolyard bully, however, their power evaporates if you don't buy into it.

And now on to a more cheery subject. As I type this, it is a mere 15 hours until W is gone for good and the Obama Era begins. I am experiencing my first patriotic feelings in my adult life, which officially began as Regan took office, and, dare I say, I actually feel optimistic. There is no doubt there are tough times ahead, but there is also a real chance for real progress on the horizon. Good luck to us all.

Travel Day!

I'm off to Indianapolis today! I'll blog again tomorrow from poolside!

Dancing For Dollars

(click image to eyeball it more clearly)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Dancing Diplomacy.

I have a few friends who really like that Dancing With The Stars TV show. Otherwise, they seem completely normal, even extraordinary and cool. As for myself, I'd rather watch paint drying than a dancing competition. I like a few forms of dancing, like flamenco and tap, but even still, I can't imagine watching people do it every week for prizes or money or whatever.

Of course, neither CHNW nor I have any interest in any of the modern game shows, no matter how many pretty girls in tight clothing that they feature. I've tried watching a few that were recommended by people I trust or admire – The Amazing Race, American Idol, America's Top Model, Who Farted? – but as of yet, I cannot make it beyond the first commercial. It's one of those things I can't imagine is popular, and yet it is, and wildly so.

So here are a few new takes on the dancing craze. Hope you enjoy them. If you don't, keep it on the down low. Cartoonists, with the exception of Jim Davis, have feelings, too.

Visible in Indianapolis

(Click on the image above for a bigger, clearer picture.)

Here's the dealio for this coming week. I'm going to be hanging out all day every day at the Eiteljorg Museum in Native-American-apolis. You can drop by and chat, watch me work, sneak me booze, take stupid pictures with me, throw tomatoes (though it will lead to your arrest), whatever. Then I'll be doing some funny presentation stuff on the weekend. Come see me if you can dig your way through the snow.

Monkey Covers

Sunday is Monkey Covers day here at YACB. Because there's nothing better than a comic with a monkey on the cover!

The monkey shows how to use a tail when ice skating on the cover of Monkeyshines Comics #19 (1946).


Image courtesy of the GCD. Click on the image for a larger version.

Three Clowns in the Fountain

Bizarro is sponsored today by Dream Dates Internet Singles Service.

Again, in an effort to catch up on some of the cartoons I didn't post while I was away, here is an assortment of three that I liked from the past few weeks.

The subject of clowns is always a fertile valley of cartoon material. Like many people, I've been creeped out by clowns since I was a small child. I never thought they were funny, from my earliest memories they seemed to be strangers attempting to conceal their identity in a particularly conspicuous way. Even as a toddler, I felt that someone who willingly dressed and behaved in this manner in public must not be trusted.

I do like the more sophisticated, understated clowns one finds in shows like Cirque du Soleil, however. They are a different breed altogether from the average birthday party clown.

This next cartoon occured to me while contemplating New Year's celebrations. I like this angle because it isn't about the old man/baby with tophat, nor about resolutions, the two most popular new year topics in cartoons.

As I suspected, a few days later I heard from a man whose wife is a Jewish, Chinese-American and he wanted to get a print of this cartoon or buy the original, I can't remember which. I don't think I've answered his email yet, I'm so far behind I may never catch up. I'll get to it soon, I hope.

CHNW and I don't usually go out on New Year's Eve anymore because it is crowded, expensive, and loud. Plus, what, really, is there to celebrate? An arbitrary moment in time. Yay.

But this year we were invited by close friends to a 1920s Berlin-style cabaret show at a small venue in DUMBO. (A very cool part of Brooklyn not far from my place which stands for Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass and looks like this.) It was a fun evening and not too crowded, expensive, or loud. Everyone was encouraged to dress for the period, which was fun, too. Here are two shots from my iPhone, and some more from a better camera.


Lastly, I give you this take on Santa. Again, I like it because I managed to tap into a Santa idea that (to my knowledge) has not been done before. Considering the sheer volume of cartoons that have been published in our language, it is difficult to hit on original ideas and particularly satisfying to come up with a new angle on a well-worn cliche.

I've done a few "Santa in off-season" jokes, as has every other cartoonist, but I've not seen one about Santa before he was Santa. I'm sure there are some, I just hope nobody has done a witness protection program Santa gag before. If they have, I'm sure someone will post it in the comments section. (sigh)

Along the same lines, a reader emailed me to tell me that the knitting needles in this cartoon are upside down. She was right, of course. A cartoonist can't get away with anything these days.

Thanks for reading. You are my sunshine.

Friday Night Fights: Cordelia & Doyle vs. Mind-Controlled Dudes

From Angel #3 (2000). Art by Christian Zanier & Andy Owens & friends. Letters by Clem Robins. Story by Christopher Golden. (click pic for larger)

Ka-Pow? Bzzztt! Krakk!