Comedy and Cake

Bizarro is brought to you today by Oprah.

My mysterious e-friend, Derek, has been sending me some fun ideas lately, and here's another one. Though I get pun suggestions from readers daily and turn down the overwhelming majority of them, sometimes there is one that when combined with a fun pic is worthwhile. (In my opinion. Some commentators on this blog will doubtless disagree.)

I also do cartoons for Parade Magazine and I had originally submitted this one to them. They wanted to use it but didn't get back to me quickly enough and I used it for Bizarro instead because of an looming deadline.

It's been a while since I've posted any of my Parade cartoons, so here are a few to point your eyeballs at.

This is as close to an animal rights message as I'll likely ever get into Parade Magazine. And, of course, only a person who is already familiar with the movement would see it as such.

Even when I was still consuming dairy products, I wondered why I found bovine milk acceptable when I knew full well that a glass of dog milk, or even an anonymous human's milk would turn my stomach. Human milk would certainly be better suited to our bodies – designed specifically for it, in fact – but I suspect a rack (pun intended) of commercially packaged human milk from anonymous donors would not sell well in the local grocery store.

I thought this was a fun gag. Unlike most of my work, it is a simple concept without a paragraph or more of dialogue and a tag line at the bottom. Most of the other cartoonists in Parade opt for the borderless image with the spoken line printed in quotes beneath the picture. I still prefer to box it in and letter the captions myself. Maybe I'm just a control freak.






And here is what my Parade cartoons look like in the paper, wedged between "Howard Huge" and an ad about foot fungus or something. As you can see, Parade is one of those magazines that takes the artist's signature off and prints it in the margin instead. I've never cared for that style, but what are you going to do? A person making a living as a cartoonist is luckier than the average lottery winner, so you don't complain about where or how you're being published.

The other half of that equation is that I wouldn't have a career without you, the reader. That may sound corny, but that's only because it is corny. But it's still true. Thanks for reading.

P.S. The links to cake pics that are featured today came from this amazingly amusing blog:
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

Eat Thy Neighbor As You Would Have Them . . .

Bizarro is brought to you today by Planned Parenthood.

The day this cartoon ran in papers, my new email friend, Bernie, wrote and said "Wouldn't it have had more 'kick' if the can read 'Can-nibbles?'"

Yes, it probably would have, but I didn't think of it. Wish I had. When are you readers going to learn to weigh in with your ideas before I go to print?

The better punch line notwithstanding, I like this gag, especially the severed leg on the can label. I wondered if this cartoon might offend some readers, and I did get a few emails about it. The thought is disgusting, yes, but I find it not much more disgusting than eating the body parts of the corpses of other species. No matter who you're eating, somebody died in misery and left behind mourners.

Most humans don't believe non-human animals can mourn, but I know from experience that they do. That isn't the point of this cartoon, of course, it's just one of the many extras you get free of charge for reading this blog!

By the way, did I mention I'm doing a comedy show in New York City next week? Come see me, it's for charity!

NYC COMEDY SHOW with ME!

For you readers who live in the New York City vicinity, I'll be emceeing a really terrific comedy show next week. It's a charity benefit we do every year and is usually a sellout, so get your tix now!

If you come to the show and tell me you found out about it from this blog, I'll give you a coupon for a 50% discount at any retail outlet of any kind in the 50 United States. Just tell them "Dan sent me," then wink.





















I know all these comedians and can vouch for their funniness. And I'm one hell of a funny emcee, so you can't miss with this ticket. It's the perfect pre-Valentine's date because scientists have proven in the laboratory that nothing gets people feeling sexy faster than comedy. So-o-o much better than staying at home and being surprised by burglars. Especially French ones.

More info here!

New Library Comics: Month of January 2009

Here's a list of the titles we added to the library's comics collection last month:


Abouet, Marguerite, 1971- Aya of Yop City / Montréal : Drawn & Quarterly, c2008.

Akira, Yamanaka. Spider-Man J. Japanese knights / New York : Marvel Enterprises, 2008.

Azuma, Hideo. Disappearance diary / Wisbech, England : Fanfare ; [Rasquera, Spain] : Ponentmon, c2008.

Bastion comix. no. 3 / Buenos Aires : Gargola Ediciones, c2004-c2005.

Beatty, Gary Scott. Jazz : cool birth : a late night murder mystery in C♯ minor / Muskegan, Mich. : Aazurn Publishing, c2008.

Bechdel, Alison, 1960- The essential Dykes to watch out for / Boston : Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2008.

The best American comics. 2008. / Boston : Houghton Mifflin Co., 2006-

Brent, Bill. Make a zine! : when worlds and graphics collide / Bloomington, Ind. : Microcosm Publishing, 2008.

Campbell, Eddie, 1955- The amazing remarkable Monsieur Leotard : a novel with typographical acrobatics and illustrational feats in an ideal production of entirely new tricks, statuesque acts, and performances / New York : First Second, 2008.

Carré, Lilli. The lagoon / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, 2008.

Casarosa, Enrico. The Venice chronicles : a travelogue in pencil, watercolor and varying shades of silliness / [San Francisco, Calif.] : Ateliér Fio ; Distributed in the United States and Canada by Adhouse Books, c2008.

Colden, Kevin. Fishtown / San Diego, Calif. : IDW, c2008.

Crumb, R. The complete Crumb v. 11. Mr. Natural committed to a mental institution! / Seattle : Fantagraphics Books, [1987?]-

Deitch, Kim, 1944- Deitch's Pictorama. / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, 2008.

Delisle, Guy. Burma chronicles / Montreal : Drawn & Quarterly, 2008.

Derf. Punk rock & trailer parks / San Jose, Calif. : SLG, 2008.

Drawn & quarterly showcase. no. 5 / Montreal : Drawn & Quarterly, 2003-

East, Oliver. Trains are -- mint / London [England] : Blank Slate, 2008.

Freeman, Don, 1908-1978. Skitzy : the story of Floyd W. Skitzafroid / Montréal, Quebec : Drawn and Quarterly, 2008.

Gaiman, Neil. The absolute sandman vol. 4 / New York : DC Comics, 2006-

Gondry, Michel. We lost the war but not the battle : a revengeful story / Brooklyn, NY : Picture Box, 2008

Goodin, Robert. The man who loved breasts / Marietta, Ga. : Top Shelf Productions, 2008.

Grampá, Rafael. Mesmo Delivery / [Richmond, Va.] : Distributed by Adhouse Books, [2008]

Gravett, Paul. Holy sh*t! : the world's weirdest comic books / New York : St. Martins Press, 2009

Guibert, Emmanuel. Alan's war / New York : First Second, 2008.

Haitzinger, Horst. Politische Karikaturen : [Haitzinger-Karikaturen 2008 ; eine Auswahl von Veröffentlichungen aus den Jahren 2007/2008] / München : Stiebner, 2008.

Hattori, Chihiro. The manga cookbook / Nishi-Kawaguchi, Kawaguchi-shi, Saitama-ken, Japan : Manga University, 2007.

Helfer, Andy. Presidential material : John McCain / San Diego, CA : IDW Pub., c2008.

Hernandez, Gilbert. Speak of the devil / Milwaukie, Or. : Dark Horse, 2008.

How to love : graphic novellas by Actus Comics / Tel-Aviv : Actus Independent Comics, [2007]

Huizenga, Kevin, 1977- Or else. no. 5 / Quebec, Canada : Drawn & Quarterly, c2004-

Igort, 1958- Baobab : a graphic novel no. 3 / Seattle, WA : Fantagraphics Books, c2005-

Jacobson, Sidney. After 9/11 : America's war on terror (2001- ) / New York : Hill and Wang, 2008.

Jansson, Tove. Moomin : the complete Tove Jansson comic strip vol. 3 / Montréal : Drawn & Quarterly ; New York, NY : Distributed in the USA and abroad by Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2006-

Kannenberg, Gene. 500 essential graphic novels : the ultimate guide / New York : Collins Design, 2008.

Kellerman, Martin, 1973- Rocky v. 2. Strictly business / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, c2005-

Knisley, Lucy. French milk / New York : Simon & Schuster, 2008.

Kochalka, James. American elf : the collected sketchbook diaries of James Kochalka, Bk. 3. January 1, 2006 to December 31, 2007 / Marietta, GA : Top Shelf Productions, c2004-

Lane, Tim. Abandoned cars / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, 2008.

Lapp, Dave, 1965- Drop-in / Montreal : Conundrum Press, 2008.

Lappé, Anthony. Shooting war / New York : Grand Central Pub., 2008, c2007.

Lee, Stan. Stan's soapbox : the collection / New York, NY : Marvel Publishing Inc., 2008

Libicki, Miriam. Jobnik! : an American girl's adventures in the Israeli army / Coquitlam, B.C. : Real Girl Gone Studios, 2008

Lutes, Jason. Berlin bk. 2. City of smoke / Montreal, Quebec : Drawn & Quarterly, 2004-

Mariotte, Jeff. Presidential material : Barack Obama / San Diego, CA : IDW Pub., c2008.

Meyer, Scott. Help is on the way : a collection of Basic instructions / Milwaukie, Or. : Dark Horse Books, 2008.

Mineshaft no. 22. / Brattleboro, VT : Mineshaft, c1999-

Modan, Rutu. Jamilti & other stories / Montréal : Drawn & Quarterly, 2008.

Mome. vol. 12 / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, 2005-

Morse, Scott. Notes over yonder / Emeryville, Calif. : Red Window, Inc., c2008.

Myhre, Lise. Nemi vol. 2 / London : Titan, 2007

Nilsen, Anders, 1973- Big questions. no. 11 / Montreal, Quebec : Drawn and Quarterly

Novgorodoff, Danica. Slow storm / New York : First Second, 2008

Onstad, Chris. The great outdoor fight / Milwaukie, Or. : Dark Horse, 2008.

Ponchione, Sergio. Grotesque no. 2 / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics Books ; [Bologna, Italy] : Coconino Press, c2007-

Powell, Nate. Swallow me whole / Marietta, Ga. : Top Shelf, 2008.

Reid, John, 1968- Fokke & Sukke / Amsterdam : De Harmonie, c2005.

Reklaw, Jesse, 1971- The night of your life / Milwaukie, Or. : Dark Horse, 2008.

Sala, Richard. Delphine no. 3 / Seattle : Fantagraphics Books ; [Bologna, Italy] : Coconio Press, 2006-

Schelly, Bill. Man of rock : a biography of Joe Kubert / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, 2008.

Schulz, Charles M. (Charles Monroe), 1922-2000. The complete Peanuts vol. 10 : 1969-1970 / Seattle, WA : Fantagraphics Books, c2004-

Schwieger, Dirk. Moresukine : updated weekly from Tokyo / New York : NBM ComicsLit, c2008

Shelton, Gilbert. The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers omnibums / London [England] : Knockabout, 2008.

Sizer, Paul. B.P.M. : beats per minute : a graphic novel / Kalamazoo, Mich. : Cafe Digital Studios, 2008.

Stearn, Ted. Fuzz & Pluck in Splitsville / Seattle, WA : Fantagraphics, [2001?-

Takahashi, Rumiko, 1957- One-pound gospel vols. 2-3 / San Francisco, CA : Viz Media, 2008-

Tobe, Keiko. With the light : raising an autistic child vol. 3 / New York : Yen Press, 2007-

Torres, Alissa. American widow / New York : Villard, c2008

Trillo, Carlos. Video noir / Buenos Aires : Gárgola ediciones, 2007.

Vähämäki, Amanda. Souvlaki circus / Oakland, Calif. : Buenaventura, 2008.

Valentino, Jim, 1952- Vignettes : the auto-bio comix / Berkeley, Calif. : Image, 2008.

Where demented wented : the art and comics of Rory Hayes / Seattle, WA : Fantagraphics Books, c2008.

Woodring, Jim. The portable Frank / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, 2008.

You ain't no dancer. vol. 3 / Maple Ridge, BC, Canada : New Reliable Press, c2005-




As always, this listing is available as an RSS Feed.

Kyle Baker does Hawkman

Apparently Kyle Baker is writing and drawing a Hawkman project for DC (the previous announcement of which I sadly missed.).

Baker is both writing and drawing, and has posted three pages of art on his blog, including a scene of Hawkman fighting a giant crab monster on the wing of an airplane.

This, my friends, promises to be seven kinds of awesome.

(link via Heidi)

New Library Comics: Month of December 2008

I realized this morning that I never posted the list of comics received by the library in December. So here they are! (January's list will appear tomorrow)


Andru, Ross. Get lost : the comic designed to send you! / New Castle, Pa. : Hermes, c2008.

An anthology of graphic fiction, cartoons, & true stories vol. 2 / New Haven : Yale University Press, c2006

Barba, Corey. Yam : bite-size chunks / Marietta, Ga. : Top Shelf, 2008.

Beaty, Nate. BFF : brainfag forever / Bloomington, Ind. : Microcosm Publishing, 2008.

Bell, Blake. Strange and stranger : the world of Steve Ditko / Seattle, WA : Fantagraphics, 2008.

Bellamy, Frank, 1917-1976. Robin Hood : the complete adventures / London : Book Palace Books, c2008.

Blurred vision 4 : new narrative art. New York : Blurred Books, c2008.

Campbell, Ross, 1979- Water Baby / New York : Minx, c2008.

Claytor, Ryan. And then one day / San Diego, CA : Elephant Eater Comics, 2004-

Comic book tattoo : narrative art inspired by the lyrics and music of Tori Amos / Berkeley, CA : Image Comics, c2008.

Fat chunk. vol. 1 : robot / San Jose, Calif. : Slave Labor Graphics, 2008.

Fish, Andy. The tragic tale of turkey boy : an American love story / Boston ; Shreveport [La.] ; Singapore : Undercoverfish, c2007.

Flight vol. 5 / Orange, CA : Image Comics, c2004-

Gaiman, Neil. The absolute sandman vol. 3 / New York : DC Comics, 2006-

Goddin, Philippe. The art of Hergé, inventor of Tintin v. 1. 1907-1937 / San Francisco, Ca. : Last Gasp, c2008-

Hanakuma, Yusaku. Tokyo Zombie / San Francisco, Calif. : Last Gasp, 2008.

Hanks, Fletcher, b. 1879. I shall destroy all the civilized planets! / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, 2007.

Hayashi, Seiichi, 1945- Red colored elegy / Montréal : Drawn & Quarterly, 2008.

Henderson, Sam. Magic whistle no. 11. Body armor for your dignity / Gainesville, FL : Alternative Comics, 1998-

Hiramoto, Akira. Me and the devil blues : the unreal life of Robert Johnson vol. 1 / New York : Del Rey/Ballantine, c2008-

Jason, 1965- Pocket full of rain and other stories / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, c2008.

Jeff Smith: Bone and beyond / Columbus, Ohio : Wexner Center for the Arts, 2008.

Kellerman, Martin, 1973- Rocky. v. 1. The big payback / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, c2005.

Larcenet, Manu. Ordinary victories vol. 2 / New York : NBM ComicsLit, c2005.

Larson, Hope. Chiggers / New York [N.Y.] : Atheneum Books for Young Readers, c2008.

Léo, 1944- Aldebaran v. 1. 1. The catastrophe; 2. The blonde / Ashford : Cinebook, 2008-

Malki, Daṿid, 1899- Beards of our forefathers : a collection of comic-strips / Milwaukie, Or. : Dark Horse, 2008.

Mantella, Mauro. 78 km/h / Buenos Aires [Argentina] : Gárgola ediciones, 2007.

McCloud, Scott, 1960- Zot! : the complete black-and-white collection, 1987-1991 / New York : HarperCollins, 2008.

Meathaüs : S.O.S. / Toluca Lake, Calif. : Nerdcore, c2008.

Montellier, Chantal. Franz Kafka's The trial : a graphic novel / New York : Sterling, c2008.

Mori, Kaoru. Shirley vol. 1 / La Jolla, CA : WildStorm/CMX, 2008.

Out of picture : art from the outside looking in. vol. 2 / New York : Villard, 2007-c2008.

Panter, Gary. Cola Madnes / New York : Funny Garbage Press, 200

Popgun vol. 2 / Berkeley, Calif. : Image Comics, 2007-

Robinson, Alex, 1969- Too cool to be forgotten / Marietta, GA : Top Shelf, 2008.

Rosendahl, Peter J. Han Ola og han Per : a Norwegian-American comic strip = en norsk-amerikansk tegneserie / Oslo : Universitetsforlaget ; Northfield, Minn. : The Norwegian-American Historical Association, 1984.

Scrambled ink : an animated collection of stories. Milwaukie, Or. : Dark Horse, 2008.

Sheyahshe, Michael A., 1975- Native Americans in comic books : a critical study / Jefferson, N.C. : McFarland & Co., c2008.

Snakepit, Ben. Snake pit 2007 / Bloomington, IN : Microcosm Pub., 2008.

Spain, (Cartoonist) Che : a graphic biography / London ; New York : Verso, 2008.

Takahashi, Rumiko, 1957- InuYasha vol. 34 / San Francisco, CA : Viz, LLC, c2003

Tanaka, Masashi, 1962- Gon vol. 5 / La Jolla, CA : WildStorm Productions, c2007-

Tatsumi, Yoshihiro, 1935- Good-bye / Montréal : Drawn & Quarterly Publications, 200

Tezuka, Osamu, 1928-1989. Dororo vol. 2 / New York : Vertical, c2008-

Toriyama, Akira, 1955- COWA! / San Francisco, Calif. : Viz, 2008.

Trillo, Carlos. Boy vampiro nos. 1-7 / Buenos Aires : Meridiana Comics, 1997-

Weinstein, Lauren R. The goddess of war vol. 1 / Brooklyn, NY : Picturebox, 2008-

Wheeler, Shannon. Postage stamp funnies / Milwaukie, Or. : Dark Horse Comics, 2008-

Wood, Brian. The New York Four / New York : Minx, 2008.

Youme. Pitch black / El Paso, TX : Cinco Puntos Press, c2008.




As always, this listing is available as an RSS Feed.

Pet Pigs and Peeves

Bizarro is brought to you today by Reptilian Lottery Winners.

The stem cell of this cartoon came from another occasional collaborator and dear, dear friend, Richard "Dick" Cabeza. I forgot what his original picture and caption were, but they were similar and I tweaked them into this delectable dealybobber.

This idea appeals to me because it was fun to render the pigs in disguises as they prepare to wreak havoc, but also because of my interest in animal rights, although that by itself would not have been enough to get me to bite on this gag. (so to speak)

Entirely off the subject of this cartoon, "wreak havoc" is one of the most frequently mispronounced terms in modern English. It seems people almost invariably say "wreck" havoc. I can understand the confusion, since "havoc" is often the result of "wrecking," but that isn't the correct phrase. Since ours is a living language (thank god, speaking a dead language is just creepy) it is only a matter of time before "wrecking havoc" will be considered correct. Which, as grammar catastrophes go, isn't such a bad thing. At least it basically means the same thing.

What's much worse is the changing of the term "couldn't care less." The overwhelming majority of Americans say "could care less" when, in fact, they mean "couldn't." This change is regrettable, because it means the opposite of what the speaker intends. Here's how:
If you care about something or someone, like, say, your grandmother or smoking pot, you "could" care less. That is to say, if you care, it is possible to care less.

If you care nothing about something or someone, you could not care less than you already do. Hence, you couldn't care less whether Dick Cheney ever gets out of jail. Just remember: when you're tempted to use this phrase in the common way, use "couldn't".

If that still doesn't make sense, perhaps you could care less about smoking pot, and probably should.