Tuesday, 1 September 2009

NEW CONTEST TOMORROW


























The contest last week was such an overwhelming success that I've decided to do it again this week. As promised, I will now tell you exactly when the contest images will be posted so that you can get a jump on the competition, if that's your thing.

Tomorrow, Wednesday, Sept 2nd, 12noon Eastern Time, right here.

As with last week, I'll post two images. Your mission is to correctly identify the ten differences in the cartoons and post your answers in the comments section of the contest blog posting. The first person to post the correct list, will win 5 PACKS OF BIZARRO TRADING CARDS!!!! (A $10 retail value.)

Last week's winner already has the full set, so he's not eligible to win. (Sorry, Tex) I'll post the winning comment on the blog as soon as I determine the winner, the jillions of other identical lists in the comments section that didn't win won't get posted because it's just boring for everyone to read. Do NOT post your contact info with your submission, wait until I've announced you as the winner to get me your contact info.

I think that's everything. Good luck and happy something-or-other...

2fer Tuesday


















Bizarro is brought to you today by Trained Babies.

Yesterday was a Bizarro deadline day and since I was running behind I didn't have time to post a cartoon. So today is 2fer day! Weeee.

In one cartoon we have a lady telling a would-be suitor to buzz off in a cleverly alternative way. In the other, we have a reverse-take on the cliche barroom cartoon, "If that's my wife, I'm not here."

Check one:
1. Both are funny
2. Neither is funny
3. One is funnier than the other
4. The other is funnier than one
5. What in tarnation is that guy watching on TV?

















Until next time, be the bubble in your own gum...

Monday, 31 August 2009

RARE PERFORMANCE ALERT










Hello, person.
I am performing some comedy this weekend in Philadelphia, please come by and say hello if you're in the area or willing to travel.

It's a 90-minute show in which I'll have a 20 minute set of my own usual cartoons and comedy stuff and another set in which I'll do a thing called "dueling cartoonists" with a friend of mine. The show is part of the Philly Fringe Fest and is all about vegetarianism, but is supposed to be funny and entertaining in spite of that. All I can guarantee is that my two sets will be.

I'll also be available for talking to face-to-face, and will likely be selling some of my trading cards or books or something. Depends what I can find around the house. CHNW will be there, too!

Show: Veggie Cabaret II
Date: Saturday, September 5th, 2009
Show time: 8pm, approximately 90 minutes, including intermission
Venue: The Rotunda, 4014 Walnut St., Philadelphia, PA 19104
Tickets: $15, cash/checks at the door. Advanced tickets can be purchased through the Live Arts and Philly Fringe Box Office online at www.livearts-fringe.org starting early August or by calling 215-413-1318 after August 24th.
Ticket Special: $20 for first 8 parties of 2-3 that reserve Cabaret-style seating and vegan dinner platter.
Contact: Lisa Levinson at lisa@publiceyephilly.org or (215) 620-2130. Visit www.publiceyephilly.org for more info.

Sunday, 30 August 2009

Monkey Covers

Sunday is Monkey Covers day here at YACB. Because there's nothing better than a comic with a monkey on the cover!

Now that's what I want in my Jimmy Olsen comics: Jimmy facing off against a giant green ape! Brad Walker, John Livesay & Pete Pantazis do the honors on the cover to Action Comics #854 (2007).

(Standard disclaimer about giant Kryptonite-infused apes not really being monkeys applies.)


Image courtesy of the GCD. Click on the image for a larger version.

Trouble in Bug Paradise










(To enlarge the funny picture, click the cockroach's pointy butt)

Bizarro is brought to you today by the Reproductive Cycle of the Beetle.

This cartoon was particularly fun to research and draw as I'm a fan of insects in general. I don't like the harmful ones, like mosquitoes, lice, ticks (technically an arachnid), etc., but the rest are always welcome in my presence.

A few years back, CHNW and I spent a couple of months in Costa Rica in a hut in the jungle. Brought my computer and some art supplies and just worked my regular daily schedule there, uploading my work via a very unreliable internet connection (our only electronic convenience). Very large and strange insects used to wander through our living and cooking area daily and we really enjoyed the visits. I quickly learned to get all my computer work done by day, as the glow of the screen at night would attract swarms of flying buzzies. By the time we got back to Brooklyn, my keyboard and screen were both speckled with dead bugs, like a smiling biker's teeth after a road trip.

We both remember a large preying mantis that landed on CHNW's shoulder and turned back and forth, alternately challenging us both with his kung fu magic. Except for the ne'er-do-well vagabonds we rented our apartment to trashing the place and skipping out on half the rent while we were gone, it was a great trip.

Until next time, keep the ants off of your uncles...

Saturday, 29 August 2009

FOR ADULTS ONLY!!!!!!!

This is a cartoon that I submitted recently but which was rejected for content. The term "up yours" was considered a little too racy for most newspaper funny pages, so it didn't get published. It was actually written by J.C. Duffy, of The Fusco Brothers and The New Yorker. He didn't have a market for it, so he offered it to me.

I knew it was "iffy" when I drew it, but I hoped "up yours" was innocuous enough to get by. I guess I should have known better. Lord knows what kind of calamity and social decay would have been wrought upon western civilization if this kind of profanity were to be printed in a comic. The body shudders, the mind reels.

Profanity is profanity purely and only because we all agree that it is. If we stop forbidding certain words or phrases, they immediately lose their power. These kinds of words have the magical power to offend simple because we endow them with it. The myth of profanity exists purely because we believe in it, which, in my opinion, is archaic.

I've never studied the subject, but my brain tells me this likely started ages ago when people were more ridiculously superstitious (I say "more" because people are still superstitious, but we weed certain traditional taboos out over the centuries and tell ourselves we're not) and they feared that saying certain things about god would bring his wrath down upon us. (I know, some people still believe that.)

From there, I suspect we added certain sexually-loaded language to the list, fearing that if we spoke these kinds of words, orgies would break out and society would collapse. I know from personal experience that there are people living in the United States of America in the 21st century who actually fear that if their children hear (or read) about homosexuality, they will become homosexual. These are people with jobs and college educations and drivers licenses.

Personally, I think it is all a lot of hooey. When I was raising my daughters, they were not denied knowledge of profanity, but told that certain words and phrases were off limits only until they were old enough to understand the social implications and use them appropriately. I didn't want my six-year-old using language that other people would use to make inaccurate assumptions about their character.

Not surprisingly, this worked. They weren't forbidden from knowing or uttering these things, they were simply warned of other people's reactions to them if they did and asked to wait until they fully understood this concept before they talked that way. Both are now well-rounded, happy adults. Their brains didn't explode.

I also did this with all matters of sexuality, illegal drugs, manners of dress, etc. If you tell your kids the truth and give them good, factual information on which to make their decisions, they tend to make the right decisions. Imagine that.

I could go on and on about the myth of profanity, but it wouldn't make any difference, so f*ck it.

I hope you like this cartoon, as a person who hates doing laundry, I got a chuckle out of it.

Please Forward This Post

Bizarro is brought to you today by Jabba the Stud.

I get a couple of hundred emails every day. Some are personal notes from people I know, some are from readers, some are about business, some are "action alerts" from various groups in which I'm interested, and some are forwarded jokes and supposedly funny pictures.

I don't read all of my emails because I neither have the time nor the interest. I can tell from the subject line and address what most of them are about and I just hit "delete" on all of the stuff I don't care about. That's probably what you do, too. What I don't understand, though, is when people get upset about unsolicited email they get and go out of their way to write to someone and insist they be taken off the list. I find it so much easier and less insulting just to delete them. (I'm not talking about Viagra spam and the like, which doesn't work even if you complain. That's what spam filters are for.)

I recognize that not all computers and email programs are the same. If you're on an old system that takes more than a split second to download mail and requires you to open each email to find out if you want to read it or not, I can see how excess mail would be bothersome. Perhaps wrongly, I assume that almost everyone has a fast system now and that all they are really complaining about is having to flick their finger to delete something they don't want. I'm probably as off base about this, but it just seems like there are better things to get huffy about.

By the way, I do personally read and respond to all of the emails I get from Bizarro readers, except when I don't. Occasionally I get very behind on email – with stuff I've flagged to be read and responded to, not the "instant delete" stuff – and I don't answer emails I mean to. If you've ever written to me asking something that requires a response and you didn't get it, it was an accident, I wasn't just being a poo-donkey. Sorry.

That being said, please don't write just to see if I'll respond. That would make me huffy. If you really want to know something, though, feel free.

Here is are lists of my read/delete preferences:

Read: Fan mail, personal friends, business requests, purchase/shipping confirmations, hate mail, evites
Delete: Action alerts, political alerts, newsletters, forwarded jokes, advertisements, Facebook alerts, spam my filter missed
Eye-rolling revulsion: Series of patriotic pictures reminding me to support the troops, series of lovely pictures reminding me to appreciate the simple things in life, series of nature pictures reminding me that God is with me always, links to inspirational videos and songs

Since I have time, so I'm going to post once more today. A rare two-post day. See next post.

Until tomorrow – in the feast of life, be the fiber, not the fat.