Bugged

Bizarro is brought to you today by Creepy Crawlies.

Before the entomology police get onto me, I suspect that preying mantises don't eat their young, only their mate. I don't really know, but then cartoons don't have to be all that accurate. I've always heard that black widow spiders devour their mates, hence the name, and I've heard that preying mantises do this, too. Whether it is true or not, I like the gag.

I'm sure any species that occasionally eats its own young has a good reason, my own father used to threaten it when we pushed him too far, but it does seem rather counterproductive to propagating the species. There was a religion in the United States at one time that forbade sex for any reason, even procreation. (Can't remember the name. Blueballers? Shrivellers?)Their numbers depended entirely on conversions, and it isn't easy to convert someone to a lifestyle that denies sex. The predictable result was that the sect died out completely. All with pained grimaces on their faces, no doubt.

So if there were a species that regularly ate its young, it, too, would have to rely solely on converts. Not a very good evolutionary design for any animal.

I'm off to Philly for my comedy thingy in a couple of hours and may not be able to post over the weekend, but I will be twaddling on Twitter, via cell phone.

Until next time... it is the table without legs that is sturdiest.

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this morning. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days *
2 (-). Mercy Thompson Homecoming
3 (+1). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
4 (-1). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
5 (-). Watchmen
6 (+2). Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
7 (R). The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb *
8 (-2). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
9 (-). The Complete Persepolis
10 (+2). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
11 (+3). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
12 (-2). Fables Vol. 12: The Dark Ages
13 (+3). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
14 (-7). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
15 (+7). Batman: The Killing Joke
16 (+10). Batman: Year One
17 (+2). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
18 (-7). The Walking Dead, Vol. 10: What We Become
19 (-1). Asterios Polyp
20 (R). Tumor Chapter 1 (Kindle)
21 (+3). American Born Chinese
22 (+8). Batman: The Long Halloween
23 (-3). V for Vendetta
24 (-7). Fun Home
25 (-4). A.D.: New Orleans After the Deluge
26 (-14). The Complete Peanuts 1971-1974 Box Set *
27 (-4). The Complete Peanuts, 1973-1974 *
28 (-). Predators and Prey (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Vol. 5) *
29 (-16). Parker: The Hunter
30 (N). Masterpiece Comics
31 (N). The Stonekeeper's Curse (Amulet, Book 2)
32 (-7). Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? Deluxe Edition
33 (N). Batman: Dark Victory
34 (-1). Time of Your Life (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 4)
35 (+1). The Joker
36 (N). Yotsuba&!, Vol. 6 *
37 (-2). The Arrival
38 (N). Bleach, Vol. 28
39 (R). Serenity, Vol. 2: Better Days
40 (-1). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
41 (+2). Green Lantern: Rage of the Red Lanterns
42 (-2). The Boys, Vol. 4
43 (-14). Final Crisis
44 (-7). Batman: Hush
45 (N). The Very Silly Mayor *
46 (R). Green Lantern: The Sinestro Corps War, Vol. 1
47 (R). The Absolute Sandman, Vol. 1
48 (-21). The Complete Maus: A Survivor's Tale
49 (R). No Future For You (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 2)


Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.

N = New listing appearing on list for first time
R = Item returning to the list after having been off for 1 or more weeks


Commentary:

* Relatively calm at the top of the list, with the exception of The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb returning unexpectedly high at #7.

* Why does Maus II drop while the rest of the University Effect comics remain stable in the top ten? And why is The Complete Maus so far down at #49? Are there that many professors assigning only Part I for their students to read?

* Highest debut belongs to R. Sikoryak's Masterpiece Comics, followed closely by the second Amulet volume by Kazu Kibuishi.

* There's a mini Batman resurgence this week. The Green Lantern bubble seems to have mostly burst though, at least for the time being.

* I'm so very pleased to see that the highest charting manga this week is the newest Yotsuba&! volume, due out in just a couple of weeks!

* The only other manga to chart is a volume of Bleach, and there's no Marvel to be seen at all.

Strange Things

I just received an email alerting me that an old animation project I created in 1989 is on YouTube. I'd forgotten all about it, but here it is in all its homemade glory as part of a popular indie TV show of the day in Canada. The show was out of Toronto, as I recall, and dealt with comics and graphic novels and sci-fi stuff. The first part of this segment is about The Watchmen and V for Vendetta, my segment starts at about 3:50 in. Please enjoy.



The first part of my segment, showing me as a 32-year-old pup, was taped on a home video recorder in the Dallas commercial art studio in which I worked at the time. The voices from off camera are my coworkers. The actual animation was all done with hand-made props and pictures in a local cable TV station with my friend, Steve Dirkx, who knew how to do that stuff. I tried to sell this thing but never got anywhere. It's fun to see it again.

Metallic Romance

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Tin Man's Ex-wife.

I'm not entirely sure what the above "Tin Man's Ex-wife" photo-gag is about. It seems like it means something but it is sort of vague. Perhaps when they divorced, like most women in the U.S., she got all of the money and the shirt off his back, which she then made braces out of?

Before you go and write a lot of angry comments about how you (a woman) got ripped off in a divorce by your scheming ex-husband, I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about most of the time. Any divorce lawyer will tell you that women are heavily favored in divorce court, even when they are the cheating, conniving, instigator of trouble in the marriage.I think it's a throwback to old timey times when failed marriage was always the man's fault and women had no other way of supporting themselves.

These days, within my own circle of friends and family, the women have been more likely to cheat, steal, and dissolve the marriage than the men, yet they still come out way ahead in the divorce. That's anecdotal evidence and very unscientific, but it's what I've seen. I suppose the dark side of women's lib is that women now have the ability to act more like men traditionally have. Not that I'm against equal rights, I am not, I just wish divorce courts would catch up to the curve.

What all this has to do with the Tin Man, I'll never know.

P.S. to Jeff, the winner of yesterday's contest: I got your info, your winnings will be on their way shortly! For the rest of you, keep in mind that you can purchase your own Bizarro Trading Cards any time you like off of the Interwebs. They're cheap, fun and just the right size for jamming under your fingernails if you're into that sort of thing.

CONTEST #2 WINNER!!!!

WINNER, BY UNANIMOUS DECISION...
















Once again, the contest only took minutes to find a winner. The first poster came in at 12:03, but only listed 10 differences. I made a CAPITALIZED point of saying there were 11 differences this week. Sorry, illibius. (I think I got the spelling wrong on that)

The second poster came in at 12:04 and had 11 items, but one of the changes was missing, filled in by one he seems to have made up: different color door trim. Sorry, Brad, but I'm not sure what you meant by that.

Third poster at 12:04 had only ten. Sorry Vance. Same with fourth poster, Jordan R., who remembered the 11th item necessary, but didn't post it until 12:24. Bummer.

The winner was the fifth person to post, coming in at 12:05, a person by the name of Jeff.

Here is his list, all eleven, all correct:
Richard Simmons, Elf on the hood, She has a beard, Phone number change, "Accidendt"spelled without an "I", upsidedown bird looking the other way, "K2" reversed order, she is now wearing a shoe, Car door has a button lock by the window, hand is bigger, monster on the window.

Thanks a bajillion for playing our game, I hope that everyone had fun and there were minimal casualties. Look for another contest next Wednesday, unless I don't announce it.

Jeff, contact me through the blog comments and let me know how to get hold of you. I won't publish your contact info.

Until tomorrow – it is the water part of the waterfall that makes it so noisy...

Bizarro Contest #2

(Click on the images to enlarge.)

Contest Rules:
1. First person to post the ELEVEN DIFFERENCES between these two cartoons in the COMMENTS SECTION OF THIS POST wins.

2. Winner gets five packs of Bizarro Trading Cards. A $10 value. No cash, just the cards.

3. DO NOT add your contact info to your entry. I'll get that from you if you win.

4.Winner must agree to send me a pic of themself with their winnings to post on this blog. Wear a mask if you don't want to be mobbed by autograph hounds next time you leave the house. You can attach any name to your pic, real or fictitious.

5. Winning this contest DOES NOT mean you are welcome in my home, nor that you will be able to parlay it into your own sit-com.

6. I am not responsible for any injuries you may receive either from competing or handling the trading cards if you win.

7. This one is way harder than the first one, so don't get all whiny on me. You can always buy some trading cards from my website, they're pretty cheap.

8. In future contests, there will be different prizes other than trading cards, but for now, I need to get rid of some trading cards.

Good luck, gladiators!

Stupid Dead Guy Sees Old Friend

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Middle of Nowhere.

As I point my face at today's cartoon, I notice that while both guys have halos, only one has wings. I submit my cartoons five or six weeks ahead of publishing (the lead time is required, I'm not that far ahead of deadline) so this was drawn almost two months ago and I can't remember if it was intentional, or just a brain fart.

I might have done it to show that he was new to Heaven, whereas the other guy had been there a while. Or, I might have just been drawing on autopilot and zoned out.

Does anyone really care?

I can't say I do.

More importantly, I just finished the puzzle for today's Bizarro Contest #2, and will post it in about one hour from now...12 noon Brooklyn time. Unless I forget. It's a bit more difficult than last week's, the maiden voyage of the Bizarro Contest, so get ready for it. Oil your brain, put in some eye drops, have a double espresso and get Nana out of the storage shed. This contest is fun for the entire family. (Except Uncle Jimmy, who's still pissed off about the elections.)

Until noon, your eyes are like hollow orbs of lubricated meat...