Monkey Covers

Sunday is Monkey Covers day here at YACB. Because there's nothing better than a comic with a monkey on the cover!

A horde of red-eyed monkeys threatens on Les McClaine's cover to The Middleman #4 (2005).


Image courtesy of the Comic Book DB. Click on the image for a larger version.

VACATE THE BUILDING

Sorry to say I'll not be posting blogs until November 1. It's my favorite (and least lucrative) task of the day but I'm taking a week off in an attempt to remember what it is like to relax.

Of course, my Bizarro deadlines don't take a week off, so I've had to work double hard in advance to clear my schedule. By the time my vacation starts, I'll be too tired to enjoy it. It's the American way!

Hope you'll drop back by next week when I'll have pictures and stories to tell of our ascent to the motel (pictured above) at the top of Mount Everest. Wish us luck!

Puns of Steel

(Why not click the image and make it bigger?)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Attack of the Condom People.

People occasionally submit cartoon ideas to me via email and puns are the most common sort I get. Puns are too easy so I'm not fond of using them in Bizarro unless they are particularly original or facilitate a funny picture. Still, there is often something a little unsatisfying about a pun and I don't want readers to feel cheated, so I recently decided to save them up and occasionally use the best ones in groups of three on Sundays.

In this installment, I think the two on the right are easily good enough to stand alone. The one in the middle was suggested to me as "Hell's Anglers" instead of "Angels," with some bikers fishing. I added the caption at the bottom. The one on the right was conceived and written in its entirety by my friend and occasional collaborator, Cliff Harris, who also came up with the Sunday Puzzler from a few weeks ago. Cliff is has a strange way with language. The "Martial Arts" gag came from a reader but I don't remember in what form. It's not a particularly original pun, but it warrants a funny picture.

If you have what you think is a great pun (unusual, funny, unexpected) and you'd like to see it in a future Sunday Punnies, send it to me: piraro@earthlink.net. It MUST be original (in that you thought of it yourself, didn't hear/see it somewhere else) and you must agree that if I draw it, you won't get compensation or credit (other than blog glory!) and I'll own the copyright. I'll send you some trading cards or an autographed print of the cartoon or something, though.

Until tomorrow, thanks for learning to read. It makes you so much more fun to write for.

We Are All Hitler

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Truth.

If there is one thing the children of America are learning it is that if you don't like something, compare it to Hitler. I wish I had known this when I was a kid. So many times I was told to go to my room and think about what I'd done (just like Hitler used to do to the Jews!) and even though I was angry and felt I was being treated unfairly, I did not know to compare my parents to Hitler. Live and learn.

The political discourse in our beloved U.S. of A. has become so ludicrous that it can barely be satirized. Still, I hope I've done a decent job here. The sort of things some Americans are teaching their children with the dreck they plaster on signs and march up and down the streets with is appalling, and we will all suffer the consequences of these drones when they grow up and inflict their warped sensibilities on society in more robust ways. Many will even have their own TV shows.

I think most Americans are still relatively sensible and don't equate Obama's efforts to help people other than the uber-rich with Hitler, but they don't get the media coverage. So it's the media's fault. The media are Hitler.

To be honest, I'm not sure who is Hitler, but I'm sure he's out there. Lurking, waiting to make his move. Get ready for mandatory mustaches, people.

NOTE: Good news at Bizarro Headquarters: I did not die yesterday afternoon. So there will be no theories about whether yesterday's post was a prophecy or a suicide note in disguise. I'm not planning to leave the house today, increasing my chances of living another 24 hours, so everyone can relax. If I get to feeling woozy or anything, I'll post an emergency paragraph or two before I call 911. Stay tuned.

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this morning. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
2 (+3). The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb
3 (-1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
4 (-1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
5 (-1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
6 (+1). The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks
7 (-1). Logicomix: An Epic Search for Truth
8 (-). Predators and Prey (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Vol. 5)
9 (+1). Watchmen
10 (+2). Stitches: A Memoir
11 (-2). Bloom County Complete Library Volume 1
12 (N). R. Crumb's Heroes of Blues, Jazz, & Country
13 (+17). 14 Years of Loyal Service in a Fabric-Covered Box: A Dilbert Book
14 (+12). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
15 (+29). Masterpiece Comics
16 (-). V for Vendetta
17 (+4). Dilbert: 2010 Day-to-Day Calendar
18 (+11). Absolute Death
19 (+1). Mercy Thompson Homecoming
20 (R). The TOON Treasury of Classic Children's Comics
21 (+17). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
22 (N). Simon's Cat
23 (+9). Batman: The Killing Joke
24 (-6). Asterios Polyp
25 (-3). The Walking Dead, Vol. 10: What We Become
26 (-11). Naruto, Volume 46
27 (N). Jack of Fables Vol. 6: The Big Book of War
28 (-5). The Cartoon History of the Modern World, Part 2: From the Bastille to Baghdad
29 (R). The Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes and Nocturnes
30 (+3). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
31 (N). Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds HC *
32 (+5). The Best American Comics 2009
33 (-6). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
34 (-6). Batman: Year One
35 (-21). The Complete Peanuts 1971-1974 Box Set
36 (-17). Tumor Chapter 1 (kindle)
37 (R). Astonishing X-Men Omnibus
38 (R) Parker: The Hunter
39 (N). The Wolverton Bible
40 (+7). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
41 (-6). Marvel Encyclopedia
42 (-11). The Complete Persepolis
43 (+5). The Arrival
44 (-2). The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz HC
45 (N). Captain America: Road to Reborn *
46 (N). Maximum Ride: The Manga, Vol. 2 *
47 (N). B.P.R.D. Volume 11: The Black Goddess *
48 (N). Scientific Progress Goes 'Boink': A Calvin and Hobbes Collection
49 (-9). The Umbrella Academy: Dallas
50 (-14). Stephen King's Dark Tower: Treachery


Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.

N = New listing appearing on list for first time
R = Item returning to the list after having been off for 1 or more weeks


Commentary:

* Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days fell to #4 on the overall bestsellers list (due in some part to the Amazon-Walmart book price war which is pushing some hardcovers down to just $9) but that's still plenty enough to keep it at #1 on the Comics & Grpahic Novels chart. The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb is at #16 on the overall chart, while the other Wimpy Kid volumes check in at #43, #51 & #64.

* Following on the heels of his Bible adaptation, R. Crumb's Heroes of Blues, Jazz, & Country is the highest debut at #12. The Wolverton Bible pops in at #39, no doubt also riding the underground-cartoonist's-bible-adaptation zeitgeist.

* Simon's Cat, apparently a cartoon book based on a series of YouTube videos, debuts at #22; the latest Jack of Fables debuts at #27 & Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds debuts at #31. Four more collections peek in with debuts near the bottom of the list.

WINNER of CONTEST #9!!!!

This week's contest was won at 10 minutes after the hour and all three of our winning contestants are new. (Last week I think the second or third place winner had won first place the week before.)

Congrats to Ilibbus for first place and Debbie and Maddy at second and third.

Here is a list of the correct answers:
1. Missing gun on white-hat cowboy
2. Added gun on black-hat cowboy
3. Bunny picture changed
4. Drink becomes camera
5. Shoe in picture reverses
6. Sideburn is missing
7. Cigarette is gone
8. Different neck tie
9. Eyeball on floor moves
10. Belt buckle changes
11. S in Saloon is reversed
12. Cowboy's eye is facing us
13. Dynamite becomes hot dog
14. Woman is cyclops
15. Woman has bird toes

One common mistake that people made was to cite the eyeball on the floor as two changes instead of one: eyeball on left, missing eyeball on right. The correct interpretation was just that it had moved, so it only counted as one difference. In case you're wondering, objects don't have to be interpreted correctly to qualify as a correct answer, as long as you spot them as a difference. For instance, one entry mentioned that the woman outside had carrots for toes, not realizing they were supposed to be bird toes. No biggy, still counts as correct.

Hope you'll join me again next week for more another contest and each day for unpredictable shenanigans and mayhem.

CONTEST #9

Click on the cartoon contest image below to enlarge.

RULES, ETC:
As usual, the top image is the original cartoon, the warped image beneath it has been changed. Your mission, if you are a groovy dude or chick, is to find those differences.

1. There are 15 differences between the two cartoons.
2. NONE of the differences have to do with the warped nature of the second image.
3. ALL of the differences are something missing, added, or moved, not just "bent" from the distortion. The differences will not be too subtle, so once you spot one you should be relatively certain you've found it. (As opposed to something like, "I think that guy has one extra whisker. Hmmm.")
4. FIRST PERSON to correctly list the 15 differences in the comments section of the contest post wins 5 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards, mailed by me personally from Bizarro International Headquarters in Brooklyn. I'll even lick the stamp, unless it's self adhesive. SECOND AND THIRD persons with correct answers will each get 2 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards!
5. Put your email address on your comment so I can contact you if you win. I won't post it or keep it or file it or sell it or mount a Broadway musical about it.

Enjoy and good luck! Click on the image to enlarge...