Monkey Covers

Sunday is Monkey Covers day here at YACB. Because there's nothing better than a comic with a monkey on the cover!

Remember: never fall asleep at your desk while holding a gun; there may be a thieving monkey in the room, as on the cover of Super Detective Library #134 (1959).


Image courtesy of the GCD. Click on the image for a larger version.

A King is Born

Bizarro is brought to you today by Menage a Trois.

I've always been fascinated by the Elvis phenomenon, not because I am a "fan" per se, but because he epitomizes the mythical American dream.

A poor, relatively uneducated backwater goon with nothing more than good looks, a voice, and a talent for musical interpretation (as opposed to songwriting or musicianship) becomes one of the richest and most influential celebrities of modern times. (Sinatra would fall into this same category, of course.)

As reported by those who knew him personally, he was also more than a shade on the lunatic side. And although the prosecution of the "hippie drug culture" was one of his passions (he asked Nixon to make him a "Federal Agent at Large" with the intent of infiltrating "hippie groups" and busting them) he died of a drug overdose. Conversely, The Beatles, whom he derided for their drug use and anti-American sentiment (huh?) have not.

In spite of what some people (me) would consider to be a veritable treasury of unappealing traits and a relatively small window of actual talent (though his talent for singing was truly great, that's pretty much all the guy could do) he is perhaps the most widely impersonated person in the world. Hordes of people have even elevated him to deity status.

I'm a fan of some of his work, many of his early hits are amazing, but not a fan of the man. Still, I once had a small breakfast room in my house dedicated to Elvis, with statues, murals, photos, and various bright colors on the walls and ceiling. All for camp value, of course, but I eventually got tired of explaining to visitors that I was not "one of those Elvis nuts." Well, I was (and am) but for different reasons.

I'm still a little obsessed with the weirdness of Elvis, as evidenced by the photo at left. CHNW and I were married by an Elvis impersonator in Las Vegas and it was the most entertaining wedding I've ever been to, by far. And not at all because it was ours. Personally, I think marriage ceremonies are just about as campy as Elvis, so why not vamp it up? Thankfully, it was the 1950s Elvis, not the fat, BeDazzled Elvis of the 70s.

One thing I learned recently that is firmly in Elvis's favor is that he was a huge fan of Monty Python and watched "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" repeatedly. This surprises me, I always imagined Elvis would have had a George-Bush-style sense of humor: corny, simple, slapstick, crude. I guess I misunderestimated him.

So here is my cartoon parody of the famous "Elvis has left the building" story. Hope you got a chuckle.

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this morning. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
2 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
3 (+1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
4 (+1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
5 (-2). The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb
6 (+1). Logicomix: An Epic Search for Truth
7 (+3). Dilbert: 2010 Day-to-Day Calendar
8 (+3). Watchmen
9 (-3). The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks
10 (-2). Warriors: Ravenpaw's Path #1: Shattered Peace *
11 (+11). Green Lantern: Agent Orange
12 (-). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
13 (+3). Stitches: A Memoir
14 (-1). Bloom County Complete Library Volume 1
15 (-). The Complete Peanuts 1971-1974 Box Set
16 (N). Charles Darwin's On the Origin of Species: A Graphic Adaptation
17 (-3). Predators and Prey (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Vol. 5)
18 (-9). Tumor Chapter 1 (kindle)
19 (-1). Simon's Cat
20 (+6). Marvel Encyclopedia
21 (+6). The Arrival
22 (-2). V for Vendetta
23 (+9). Scientific Progress Goes 'Boink': A Calvin and Hobbes Collection
24 (+19). 14 Years of Loyal Service in a Fabric-Covered Box: A Dilbert Book
25 (-). Batman: The Killing Joke
26 (-5). Tales from the Crypt #8: Diary of a Stinky Dead Kid
27 (-4). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
28 (-11). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
29 (-). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
30 (R). The Best American Comics 2009
31 (N). Dilbert: 2010 Wall Calendar
32 (R). The Complete Far Side 1980-1994
33 (N). Absolute Justice
34 (R). Asterios Polyp
35 (R). Batman: Year One
36 (R). The Complete Persepolis
37 (N). Escape from Dullsville *
38 (N). Bone Volume 2: The Great Cow Race
39 (N). Dark Tower: Treachery
40 (-16). Bone: The Complete Cartoon Epic in One Volume
41 (+9). Bone Volume 1: Out From Boneville
42 (R). Ignorance, Thy Name Is Bucky: A Get Fuzzy Collection
43 (N). Garfield Will Eat for Food: His 48th Book
44 (R). Fables Vol. 12: The Dark Ages
45 (R). The TOON Treasury of Classic Children's Comics
46 (R). The Long Way Home (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 1)
47 (R). Maximum Ride: The Manga, Vol. 2
48 (R). Time of Your Life (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 4) *
49 (R). Warriors: Tigerstar and Sasha #3: Return to the Clans
50 (R). The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier

Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.

N = New listing appearing on list for first time
R = Item returning to the list after having been off for 1 or more weeks


Commentary:

* The Four Wimpy Kid volumes are back together on top of the list. Expect to see them entrenched there for a while, unless the new printing of Crumb's Genesis gives it another spike.

* I suspect that the recent interest in strip collections is due to the upcoming holiday gift giving season.

* The highest debut belongs to Charles Darwin's On the Origin of Species: A Graphic Adaptation, a comic I didn't even know existed until I saw it on the chart. Score another win for the secret comic book economy.

* The bottom part of the chart is almost completely different from last week; eighteen of the last twenty items are either new or returning after an absence.

* I'm pleased to see The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier sneak back on to the list; no doubt due to increased interest caused by the recent censorship controversy.

WE HAS WINNERS

Thanks to everyone for playing my goofy little game. Hope you had fun.

This week's winners are:

1. Dan Pierson (5 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards!)
2. Brain Gac (2 packs)
3. Luis (2 packs)

I'll be sending each of you an email to tell you how to collect your dandy prizes. Below is a list of correct answers, if you're the sort to compare. Click it to magnify.

A quick shout out to Britt S., who was the first entry but had ONE answer wrong. DANG! Sorry, Britt, you're a winner in my heart and mind.

Contest #12 is NOW!

Click on the cartoon contest image below to enlarge and play!

RULES, ETC:
As usual, the upper image is the original cartoon, the warped image beneath it has been changed. Your mission, if you are a groovy dude, chick, both or undecided is to find those differences.

1. There are 15 differences between the two cartoons.
2. NONE of the differences have to do with the warped nature of the second image.
3. ALL of the differences are something missing, added, or moved, not just "bent" from the distortion. The differences will not be too subtle, so once you spot one you should be relatively certain you've found it. (As opposed to something like, "I think that guy has one extra whisker. Hmmm.")
4. FIRST PERSON to correctly list the 15 differences in the comments section of the contest post wins 5 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards, mailed by me personally from Bizarro International Headquarters in Brooklyn. I'll even lick the stamp, unless it's self adhesive. SECOND AND THIRD persons with correct answers will each get 2 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards!
5. Put your email address on your comment so I can contact you if you win. I won't post it or keep it or file it or sell it or mount a Broadway musical about it.

Enjoy, good luck, and may dog bless! Click on the image to enlarge...

Contest #12 LATER TODAY!

Yes, my groovy homies, contest #12 is later today! Go tell it on the mountain.

Here are the rules, which I'll post again with the actual contest. This just gives you a leg up on the competition.

Click the image below to make it huger enough to read.

















Hope to see you then.

Hatred Holidays

Bizarro is brought to you today by Here Come The Holidays.

I'm not one of those people who complain about seeing Santa and hearing Xmas songs before Thanksgiving. I tend to complain that I have to endure these things at all, any time of year, because I truly despise the ugly, crass, festival of insincerity that Xmas has become. This is a holiday that should be celebrated quietly at home, if at all, and those of us who do not celebrate it should not even notice its passing. Like Yom Kippur.

That's the way it was before Washington Irving decided to make up a lot of holiday traditions and promote the idea that Xmas should be a big, noisy, tacky whoop-de-doo. Stores caught onto the idea and helped it along and before you know it, most Americans were celebrating Xmas with gifts and songs and decorations as if it were an ancient tradition.

I'm sure things were more-or-less within reason in those early days, but like everything else modern-day America touches, it is now a ghastly commercial orgy that assaults the eyes and ears of everyone within 500 miles of its borders. I even saw giant Xmas decorations at a department store in a Buddhist country in Asia back in 2000. Apparently you have to go to Iran to escape elves and flying reindeer.

So I say, "Pull that trigger, Mr. Pilgrim, and bury the evidence before it gets out of hand. You have no idea what you're in for."

Yes, I know I'm a huge pain-in-the-ass Grinch/Scrooge about this. All my friends and family gleefully celebrate Xmas while I sit quietly at home without decorations and with the TV mute on, lest I accidentally subject myself to the sound of jingling bells during a Best Buy commercial. (Just typing that made my skin crawl.)

How did I get this way? I have no idea. I enjoyed it as a kid – Santa, toys, the food, the tree, the TV specials, the songs, mom bringing home sailors on holiday leave and making me wait in a box in the basement, the lights and decorations. But as an adult, year by year, I became increasingly uncomfortable with it until I finally snapped like a dry holly branch under the hoof of a plummeting reindeer and declared myself the archenemy of all things Xmas. Self indulgent hypocrisy has always turned my stomach and modern American Xmas is the blaring, screeching, glittering, multi-billion-dollar embodiment of it. To my mind, anyway.

Here's hoping you all have a nice holiday season, please keep the noise down.