Read This Book

I read a new novel recently that I highly recommend. It's the first novel by the most exciting writer I've read in a long while, Benjamin Hale. I happened to meet him at a literary event in NYC recently and he was kind enough to give me an advance copy of his first novel, the cover of which is pictured above. I won't say much about it other than that I was blown away, couldn't put it down, didn't want it to end, can't wait for his next book, and I wanted to have his children. That last impulse has subsided some but I'm still looking forward to his next book.

Check it out here.

Cat Diary

(Click the word "click" for a larger image!)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Valentine Wishes.

I don't often do sequential jokes but here is one now. Just look a couple of inches above where you are looking now. I don't have a lot to say about it, so let's talk about something else.

Did you ever get one of those emails that has been going around for ten years or so about the cat and dog diary? I've gotten it many times over the years, it's one of those email jokes that just goes around and around. Well, the fun thing is that it started with one of my cartoons.

I wrote "Finding the Cat's Diary" in 1995 and sometime shortly after, people began altering and adding to it to create the email joke. It's now become something of a meme, which I must admit I think is kind of cool. It doesn't mean fame or fortune – I don't get royalties on its use or even credited for the original idea – it just means that I created something that got into people's heads enough that it was passed virally to enough folks that it became generally well known. Creative people like that kind of thing.

If you Google "pet diary" or "cat diary," you'll come across dozens of sites that post variations of this theme, featuring diaries by a cat and a dog, most of which start with a few lines from this cartoon. A guy named Allen Roland even took credit for writing it on a Salon.com blog. Kind of lame. It has ended up on some products, too, for which I could likely sue. Hmmm.

I'm also proud of it because I think it's a particularly good cartoon. Hope you like it, too. If you don't, just keep it to yourself. Like most people outside of politics, I'm capable of both pride and hurt feelings.

Get groovy schwag with these cartoons on them here:
Cat Diary
Remote Control

Lustige Zeichnung

Bizarro is brought to you today by Inspirational Art.

If you're as big a fan of ruthless dictator emoticons as I am, you'll love this cartoon. It features a Hitler emoticon. Actually, I've never seen a Hitler emoticon before my friend and partner, Wayno, sent this gag idea to me. To hear him tell it, his wife thought up the emoticon and he figured out a way to make a joke out of it. Then I drew it. I'm the blue-collar in this equation. Here's Wayno's story about it, which, if it differs from mine at all is just him lying again.

Speaking of attempted genocide, let's take a cartoon visit to The South. Somebody wrote to me and said that in Mississippi, people don't say "y'all." I admit I've never been to Mississippi, but I was raised in The South and have traveled a bit there and have never come across a state where they didn't say it, so I'm going with my original premise. If you've ever lived in Mississippi, let me know the truth. History demands it.

I'm off to wrestle with the tedious details of my job as the greatest cartoonist currently living in my building. Aufwiedersehen, y'all.

Want these cartoons on fine products of a wide assortment? Click below...
Hitler Emoticon
Y'all Turn

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Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this morning. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid 5: The Ugly Truth
2 (+2). Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne
3 (-1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
4 (-1). Odd Is on Our Side (Kindle edition)
5 (-). Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Boxset
6 (+5). The Walking Dead Compendium Volume 1
7 (N). Daytripper
8 (-2). Dork Diaries (Kindle edition)
9 (-2). Dork Diaries 2 (Kindle edition)
10 (+6). Diary of a Wimpy Kid Box of Books
11 (-3). Walking Dead Volume 13
12 (+1). Serenity: The Shepherd's Tale
13 (+9). Superman: Earth One
14 (-2). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
15 (-2). Batman: Year One
16 (-7). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
17 (-2). Big Nate: From the Top
18 (N). Nemesis
19 (+8). The Walking Dead, Book 6
20 (+1). Batman: The Killing Joke
21 (+2). Walking Dead Volume 12
22 (+12). Fables Vol. 14: Witches
23 (+10). The Walking Dead Volume 11: Fear The Hunters
24 (R). Odd Is on Our Side
25 (R). Batman: The Long Halloween
26 (+12). The Walking Dead, Book 5
27 (-9). Watchmen
28 (-9). Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
29 (+15). Dork Diaries: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life
30 (-16). Naruto, Vol. 50
31 (-2). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
32 (R). The Walking Dead, Book 2
33 (+3). Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 1: Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life
34 (-4). The Walking Dead, Vol. 9: Here We Remain
35 (-15). Dork Diaries 2: Tales from a Not-So-Popular Party Girl
36 (+7). The Walking Dead, Vol. 10: What We Become
37 (-13). Irredeemable Vol. 5
38 (-28). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
39 (-13). V for Vendetta
40 (-). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
41 (+8). Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 2: Scott Pilgrim Versus The World
42 (R). Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic
43 (R). Dilbert: 2011 Day-to-Day Calendar
44 (N). The Flash, Vol. 1: The Dastardly Death of the Rogues *
45 (-4). Batman: Hush
46 (R). The Walking Dead Volume 3: Safety Behind Bars
47 (-8). Blackest Night
48 (R). The Walking Dead, Book 3
49 (-24). Scenes from an Impending Marriage
50 (N). Fables Vol. 15: Rose Red *


Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.

N = New listing appearing on list for first time
R = Item returning to the list after having been off for 1 or more weeks


Commentary:

* The Wimpy Kid stays on the top once again, and rises a bit to #64 on the overall chart.

* For the second week in a row, DC debuts a book in the top ten. This week it is Daytripper at #7. I figure there must have been some mainstream media attention for the book?

* DC also debut new Flash and Fables volumes in pre-order near the bottom of the list. The other debut this week is a pre-order for Nemesis, which is also Marvel's only entry this week in the top 50.

* Last week's big debut, Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne, rises up to #2 on the comics chart and #181 overall.

* At this point, sales of the Scott Pilgrim box set have pretty much supplanted sales of the individual volumes. The Precious Little Box Set remains at #5, while only two of the individual volumes even chart this week.

* Dead Watch: Ten Walking Dead collections chart this week, including the compendium which moves back up into the top 10.

* The bottom of the list is #2,400 overall this week.

Awesome Comics You Shoud Read

These are the notes for my Ignite Ann Arbor 5 talk, "Awesome Comics You Should Read." (When the video becomes available I'll link to it...)

Banana Sunday by Paul Tobin & Colleen Coover is the story of Kirby, the new girl in school with three talking primates in tow. There's a little mystery, a little drama, and a lot of funny. It's a high school comedy with Coover's fantastic art. And monkeys. It's available in a collected edition. Tobin & Coover's latest graphic novel, Gingerbread Girl,  is currently being serialized online.
Available: UM

Star Drop by Mark Oakley is about Ashelle, a warrior princess from an interstellar empire who is tired of all the fighting so runs away to Earth. A Canadian suburb, in fact. The story, currently being serialized online, bounces between Ashelle trying to fit in on Earth and rebuffing attempts by her father's forces to bring her back home. There is a collection of the early installments available in print.

Beanworld by Larry Marder defies a simple summary. Fans of world-building will find a truly unique alternate world inhabited by anthropomorphic beans. It's about ecology (but not in a simplistic way) and the role of the individual within society. First published in the late 80s & early 90s, the original comics have been collected into hardcover editions, and a third volume of all-new material was published in 2009.
Available: UM, AADL (old edition)

The Muppet Show Comic Book by Roger Langridge pulls off the seemingly impossible by capturing the essencse of the original Muppet Show television series and putting it on paper as a highly successful and amusing comic book. All of your favorites sketches return, like Pigs in Space and Veterinarian Hospital; the backstage antics; even Statler & Waldorf. Usually licensed comics are pale imitations of the source material, but this one nails it. There are several trade collections available.
Available: UM, AADL

Bookhunter by Jason Shiga is a hardboiled detective mystery set in the Oakland Public Library ca. 1973. Shiga brings out the humor by having the characters play the situation—a priceless book is stolen from a locked room, and the library police are called in to investigate —absolutely straight. It's full of interrogations, library in-jokes and minutiae, and plenty of action, like a book cart chase through the card catalog room. It is alas out of print, but Shiga has put the entire work online for free reading.

The Marvel Adventures series of comics is Marvel's "All Ages" set of comics, which many interpret as meaning 'kiddie.' But the various comics that fall under that banner have often had some of the most fun super-hero comics of the past several years. The issue highlighted in my talk is Marvel Adventures The Avengers #12 by Jeff Parker & Juan Satacruz, featuring the story "Ego, the Loving Planet," in which the sentient planetoid Ego falls in unrequited love with The Earth. The Avengers have to figure out a way to convince Ego to leave Earth alone. Imagine Ego being voiced by Billy Dee Williams, and you'll get the picture. It's included in the third digest collection of Marvel Adventures Avengers, Bizarre Adventures, which also has the comic in which The Avengers are transformed into M.O.D.O.C. versions of themselves. (Also recommended are the recent Marvel Adventures Spider-Man comics written by the aforementioned Paul Tobin.)

Captain Britain and MI:13 by Paul Cornell & Leonard Kirk featured the classic super-hero leading a team that protected the British Isles from various threats. It was way too short lived, but it ended on a bang with its final storyline in which Dracula launched an attack on Europe from his BASE ON THE MOON! Firing VAMPIRES AT THE EARTH via MAGIC CANONS! That, my friends, is pure awesome.

All-Star Superman by Grant Morrison & Frank Quitely is easily the best super-hero story of the past decade, and possibly the best ever. The creators accomplish the seemingly impossible task of creating an ode to the silver age of the classic super-hero while at the same time being incredibly modern. It is an examination of the myth of Superman and how it can still be relevant to us nearly 75 years after his creation. Issue ten may be my favorite: it hops around in time, Superman fights a giant robot, and there's one scene that causes me to well up with tears every time I read it (in a manly end-of-Toy-Story-3 way). I could easily do an hour on the awesomeness of All-Star Superman. It was collected into two volumes, and there's also an oversized deluxe Absolute single volume edition.
Available: UM, AADL

Xenozoic Tales by Mark Schultz takes place in a far future post-collapse world in which dinosaurs once again roam the Earth. Schultz channels the classic adventure comic strips of the past, bringing us manly men, strong & beautiful women, classic cars, and fearsome dinosaurs. It was recently collected into a single volume edition.
Available: UM

Gon by Masashi Tanaka is a wordless manga series about a small but tough Tyranosaur that someone survives extintiction and exists in the current epoch. He interacts with modern fauna with a keen sense of justice, protecting the meek and dishing it out against predators. There are seven volumes of his collected adventures available in the tankōbon format.
Available: UM

The Middleman by Javier Grillo-Marxuach & Les McClaine is about two operatives of a secret organization that protects the Earth from aliens, Lovecraftian horrors, man-sharks, evil monkeys, evil ninjas, evil robots, etc. It began life as an unproduced television pilot, which Grillo-Marxuach turned into a comic book, which was then subsequently picked up as a short-lived but also awesome televsion series. It was equal doses of action and humor, with a touch of pathos thrown in. There is an omnibus edition of the three comic series available.
Available: AADL

Zombies Calling by Faith Erin Hicks is a zombie story in which the characters have actually seen zombie movies. The main protagonist Joss is a big horror movie fan, and when a zombie outbreak hits her Canadian college campus she uses her knowledge (and suddenly-developing zombie-ass-kicking ninja skills) to survive. It was released as an original graphic novel.



Slide four features comics you likely already know about, but for completeness, they are:

Watchmen by Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons
Promethea by Alan Moore & J. H. Williams III
Swamp Thing by Alan Moore and various artists
Fables by Bill Willingham and various artists
Maus by Art Spiegelman
Asterios Polyp by David Mazzucchelli
Love & Rockets by The Hernandez Bros.
Sandman by Neil Gaiman and various artists
Ex Machina by Brian K. Vaughan & Tony Harris
Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson
Y, the Last Man by Brian K. Vaughan & Pia Guerra
Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud
Persepolis by Mariane Satrapi
Peanuts by Charles Schulz
Naruto by Masashi Kishimoto
Batman: The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller
Jimmy Corrigan by Chris Ware
The Walking Dead by Robert Kirkman & Tony Moore and Charles Adlard

Scott Pilgrim by Bryan Lee O'Malley
Parker: The Hunter by Darwyn Cooke


Slide nineteen features more awesome comics I didn't have time to cover in the five-minute presentation. They are:

The Immortal Iron Fist by Ed Brubaker, Matt Fraction & David Aja
Concrete by Paul Chadwick
2 Sisters by Matt Kindt
Ganges by Kevin Huizenga
Peculia by Richard Sala
Axe Cop by Malachai & Ethan Nicolle
The Umbrella Academy by Gerard Way & Gabriel Bá
Global Frequency by Warren Ellis and various artists
Doom Patrol by Grant Morrison and various artists
Liō by Mark Tatulli
Marvel Adventures Spider-Man by Paul Tobin and various artists
Chew by John Layman & Rob Guillory
Simone & Ajax by Andrew Pepoy
Little White Mouse by Paul Sizer
Love and Capes by Thom Zahler
Cul de Sac by Richard Thompson
Beasts of Burden by Evan Dorkin & Jill Thompson
Age of Reptiles by Ricardo Delgado
Yotsuba&! by Kiyohiko Azuma
A Drunken Dream and Other Stores by Moto Hagio
Tiempos Finales by Sam Hiti
We3 by Grant Morrison & Frank Quitely
Uzumaki by Junji Ito
Keif Llama: Xeno-Tech by Matt Howarth


Slide image credits:


Slide 3:
Sky Ape © Phil Amara, Mike Russo, Richard Jenkins and Tim McCarney
Kobra (Vulcan) © Fleetway Publications


Slide 4:
Watchmen © DC Comics Inc.
Promethea © America's Best Comics
Swamp Thing © DC Comics
Fables © Bill Willingham & DC Comics
Maus © Art Spiegelman
Asterios Polyp © David Mazzucchelli
Love & Rockets © Gilbert, Jamie and Mario Hernandez
Sandman © DC Comics
Ex Machina © Brian K. Vaughan & Tony Harris
Calvin & Hobbes © Bill Watterson
Y, the Last Man © Brian K. Vaughan & Pia Guerra
Understanding Comics © Scott McCloud
Persepolis © Mariane Satrapi
Peanuts © United Feaures Syndicate, Inc.
Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto
Batman: The Dark Knight Returns © DC Comics
Jimmy Corrigan © Chris Ware
The Walking Dead © Robert Kirkman
Scott Pilgrim © Bryan Lee O'Malley
Parker: The Hunter © The Estate of Donald E. Westlake; artwork © Darwyn Cooke


Slide 5:
Banana Sunday © Paul Tobin & Colleen Coover


Slide 6:
Star Drop © Mark Oakley


Slide 7:
Larry Marder's Beanworld © Larry Marder


Slide 8:
The Muppet Show Comic Book © The Muppets Studio, LLC.


Slide 9:
Bookhunter © Jason Shiga


Slide 10:
Strange Adventures © DC Comics


Slide 11:
Marvel Adventures The Avengers © Marvel Characters, Inc


Slide 12:
Captain Britain and MI:13 © Marvel Characters, Inc.


Slide 13:
All-Star Superman © DC Comics


Slide 14:
Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen © DC Comics


Slide 15:
Xenozoic Tales © Mark Schultz


Slide 16:
Gon © Masashi Tanaka


Slide 17:
The Middleman © Javier Grillo-Marxuach & Viper Comics


Slide 18:
Zombies Calling © Faith Erin Hicks


Slide 19:
The Immortal Iron Fist © Marvel Characters, Inc.
Concrete © Paul Chadwick
2 Sisters © Matt Kindt
Ganges © Kevin Huizenga
Peculia © Richard Sala
Axe Cop © Malachai & Ethan Nicolle
The Umbrella Academy © Gerard Way & Dark Horse Books
Global Frequency © Warren Ellis & DC Comics
Doom Patrol © DC Comics
Liō © Mark Tatulli
Marvel Adventures Spider-Man © Marvel Characters, Inc.
Chew © John Layman
Simone & Ajax © Andrew Pepoy
Little White Mouse © Paul S. Sizer
Love and Capes © Thomas F. Zahler
Cul de Sac © Richard Thompson
Beasts of Burden © Evan Dorkin & Jill Thompson
Age of Reptiles © Ricardo Delgado
Yotsuba&! © Kiyohiko Azuma/Yotuba Sutazio
A Drunken Dream and Other Stores © Moto Hagio
Tiempos Finales © Samuel Hiti
We3 © Grant Morrison & Frank Quitely
Uzumaki © Junji Ito/Shogakukan
Keif Llama: Xeno-Tech © Matt Howarth

Cold Enough

Bizarro is brought to you by My Last Stop.

How's everyone holding up this winter? In most of the U.S. we're having record cold and snow. Brrrrrr! (That's the sound a human makes when it is cold.) CHNW and I almost moved to Maui last year but decided we were not quite ready to leave NYC. Now we're beginning to question that decision. We both look better in bikinis than in snowsuits.

Speaking of marriage, when CHNW and I announced to her parents we were getting married their response was, "Bad idea. Bad idea." Good thing I didn't ask in the traditional way. In fairness, I should mention that they now think it was a good enough idea.

On this cartoon about 4-D TV, I got a couple of emails from science types explaining to me that smell is not a dimension. Fair enough, but that's why I became a cartoonist instead of a science textbook author. I can just make crap up about anything I want and let the chips fall where they may. And there is quite a trail of misleading chips in my wake, cowboy, let me tell you.

Here's a cartoon about that person (or people) in your family that give you gifts that they think are perfect for you but could not be further off base. I once mentioned to my Aunt Sharon that I liked "kitsch art" and for my next birthday she sent me some ceramic tiles with food printed on them, the sort you're supposed to hang in your kitchen. True story. I wouldn't tell this story if there was any chance of hurting Aunt Sharon's feelings, but she's in solitary confinement now with no access to the Internet, so it's safe.

Hope you're warm and well-gifted today.

For these cartoons on groovy schwag, click below:
Marriage
4-D TV
Bunny

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Bowl Wrapup

(You can find this cartoon on fine products here.)


Bizarro is brought to you today by Just My Luck.

A quick Monday morning update for you before I commence to feverishly inking cartoons in an attempt to reduce the amount of time by which I am late on my deadline this week.

Last night's Super Bowl was a good game and the correct team won. Sorry to all my Pittsburgh readers, I love your city and people (honestly, I've visited many times and say nothing but nice things about PBgh) and I even like Mike Tomlin, the Steeler's coach and Terry Bradshaw, the Steeler's patron saint. But the last thing your current quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger needs is another Super Bowl ring. At least not until he stops abusing women. Some of you might say, "But Dan, Ben was acquitted. What happened to 'innocent until proven guilty?'" to which I would say, "You're thinking of the U.S. justice system. This is my personal blog and I'm pretty convinced Big Ben is scum."

So congratulations to the fine folks of Green Bay Wisconsin for getting to have a big parade for the guys who won the trophy for you even though none of them are from there or would live there if they were not being paid millions of dollars to do so. And congratulations to the fine folks of Pittsburgh for not having to put up with an expensive and messy parade. It really screws with traffic.

I think the halftime show was also worth commenting on. When I heard that something called "The Black Guy Pees" was performing, I feared another "wardrobe malfunction" catastrophe like a few years back. This country is still reeling from the moral consequences of a nipple being shown on television for .5 seconds and I'm not sure we could withstand another one. (If god had meant for people to be showing their filthy parts on television, we would have been born with TV cameras facing our pee pee place.) But as it turned out, this year's show was just four space people singing while quite a lot of batteries danced around the field. If the lights of your home flickered last night, that's likely why.

Even if you didn't watch the game and think football is dumb, I hope you enjoyed this post-game wrap up.
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