Dedicated Cameraman

Watch this video full screen if you can. (click the little icon at the bottom of the video screen that looks like a square with brackets)

Ever been on a hike when it started to get dark and you were worried about getting back to your car in time?

http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=1438490562

Thanks to Gary for sending this.

Terrorists

Just found this video. No explanation necessary. If you can't watch it here, watch it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1EXKLVgEx0

Wildebeest Cove

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Acme Ax Grinders. "Got an ax to grind? SO DO WE!"

Okay, this cartoon is more poignant than funny, but one of my pet peeves is how soulless developers will destroy habitat, then name the tasteless housing complex they puked up after what they destroyed or displaced. If you see a gated community named "Eagle Bluff," you can bet there isn't an eagle within a hundred miles of it. But there probably used to be. "Bear's Meadow" no longer has bears or a meadow, but they do have a security guard at the gate, 24/7.

My dream is to one day have enough money to buy an entire gated community on the outskirts of some American city, evict everyone, tear it down, redo the landscape and turn it into a wildlife preserve. I would call it "Fearful Rich White Folks Sanctuary," and humans would not be allowed. If one happened to wander onto the property, he would be shot with a tranquilizer, thrown in a cage, and relocated to a nearby city. If he accidentally injured one of the inhabitants of the reserve, he would have to be put down, of course.

Triumph the Comic Insult Dog

I meant to post this ages ago, but this is the video that Robert Smigel did for our comedy show in New York benefitting Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary in May. The lineup included Janeane Garofolo, Louis CK, Gary Gulman, Dave Attell, Will Franken, and me as MC. It was a great show and a good time was had by all.

The human in the video is Doug Abel, the co-founder of Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary. He's also a successful film and TV editor, so he knows a lot of cool dudes like Shmigel, Attell and Louis CK. Here's a page about the show.

Picayunity and Pricing

Today's Bizarro cartoon is brought to you by the League of Supper Heroes.

Someone wrote to me when this cartoon appeared in the paper and said that I had Batman running in the wrong direction because the muscled side would be stronger and force the skinny side inward. I replied that she was completely correct, except that I was implying that the muscles were not real but only padding, so the weight and wind resistance of the padding would force the larger side inward.

Some cartoonists are aggravated by this kind of picayune argument from readers but I really like it. These are exactly the sorts of insignificant details I think of when I'm drawing the cartoon in the first place, so I always enjoy discussing my rationale. Usually my logic for the way I drew it is correct, but sometimes a reader proves me wrong and I'm always grateful for the education.

Back in the 80s, I got a very funny letter from a Canadian explaining why the angle of the cut of a tree I had draw would have caused the tree to fall the other direction. He argued that since he was Canadian, he should know. Since I don't know anything about lumberjacking, I wrote back and described my logic – if you cut it this way, it would fall that way – and I included a diagram. He wrote back with an apology and included a government pamphlet on how to properly fell a tree. Turned out I was right.

He and I became good friends after that, visiting each other in Toronto and Dallas, and I featured him and a few of his friends (The were the self-proclaimed "Bizarro International Fan Club and Motor Oil Company") on the back of one of my early books. I think it might have been "Post-Modern Bizarro," but I can't find a copy of it around my house right now.

On another note, check out how much this site wants for a different old book of mine. You can get the same book for $1.59 on Amazon.

Free Puns

Bizarro is brought to you today by Candice's Coupon Club of Carolton.

This is a gag suggested by my friend, Phil Witte. People suggest ideas to me all the time, 90% of which are puns. I like puns, but only when they are somehow surprising and fresh, as I think this one is. People groan at puns when they feel they could have thought of it themselves. You can only get away with puns when they are completely unexpected.

In my opinion, the contrast between the serious nature of the political issue and the foolishness of the pun makes this one work. Also, who among us has not known (and will one day be) an addled elderly person not quite clear on the concept?

My Ugly Ego

Yesterday, I posted a cartoon about cosmetic surgery (Mind-Boggling Beauty), which drew a comment from a reader that I must address. The reader known here as "ging," sent a link to the above children's book.

At first glance, it seems innocent enough. Most kids think their mother is beautiful, I suppose. Even if they don't, a little white lie is a minor price to pay to someone who holds your very survival in her hands.

But the description below the book tells a different story:
"Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a renowned plastic surgeon, wrote My Beautiful Mommy to help patients explain their transformation to their children. The story guides children through Mommy's surgery and healing process in a friendly, nonthreatening way. "

If you're not completely creeped out right now, you may want to check your vital signs. The lousy, psuedo-Disney art makes your skin crawl all the more. Another reader, "Julie," suggested a cartoon for Bizarro based on this topic, which I'm definitely going to use. (If you read the small print on the back of your computer, you will see that any and all ideas for cartoons submitted in the comments section of this blog become the sole property of the writer of this blog, in perpetuity.)

Some alternative titles for the book:
The Stranger With The Familiar Voice
What Did You Do With My Mommy, You Taut-Eyed Freak?!
My Mommy Is Stacked
Daddy's Weird New Wife
Why Does Mommy Always Look Surprised?

Check out the real book here.