Children of Men (and Women)

This cartoon is brought to you by Life Waste Management Corporation.

The cartoon I normally would have posted today would have been from a week ago, Saturday, Sept 20. But I think it's a dull one so I nabbed this older panel from '04 that I like better.

I wonder if Lassie followed Timmy through life and made sure that all her efforts saving him from wells, burning barns, and Soviet submarines, was worth it. What if Timmy grew up to be a serial killer? Or an ad executive in charge of convincing voters that Sarah Palin is competent to run the country if/when McCain croaks? Wouldn't Lassie wish to high heaven that she'd just kept her yap shut and let him be captured by the Russians or turned to charcoal in that barn?

At what point do parents of awful people regret the effort they put into their kid's survival? I think most parents convince themselves that their kid is doing well and deserving of their pride, but how does Dick Cheney's mom pull off that trick? I'm guessing she's dead by now, but if she were still alive, I mean.

Personally, I have very high standards for my two daughters. I've given them until their 30th birthdays to make the world a better place for their having been in it or it's curtains.

Friday Night Fights: Triplicate Girl vs. Lucifer Seven

From Secrets of the Legion of Super-Heroes #1 (1981). Written by E. Nelson Bridwell & Paul Kupperberg, drawn by Jim Janes & Frank Chiaramonte.

Ladies Night? OOOFF!

Shameless Friend Promotion: Better Zombies Through Physics

The secret is secret no longer: pal Jim Ottaviani & his pal Sean Bieri have a Webcomic on Tor.com: "Better Zombies Through Physics."

While Jim is best known for his non-Fiction comics about science & scientists, this is I believe his first comic fiction.

"Join us for chills, thrills, and pulse-pounding scientific breakthroughs as we embark on a tour of the Quantum Zombie, Inc. facility, courtesy of a guy who bears a striking resemblance to famed scientist and cat-lover Erwin Schrödinger. Hijinks, hilarity, and an abundance of felines await you in Tor.com’s newest comic strip."

Caveology and Marriage

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by fire. "It's all about proximity."

I was taught as a child that bragging was unacceptable ("Look, Mommy, I got an A on my arithmetic!" "Oh, you're Einstein now, are you? Let's see how you do with our tax returns!") so only because you are my closest friends in the world, will I admit that I am proud of this joke. I love the word play in it, and its surreal time-travel nature. Are they in prehistoric times but she knows what a condo is, or are they living like cave people in the present? I prefer the latter explanation.

My own wife used to date very wealthy men, not because she was after their money but because she happened to meet them in the circles in which she ran. She could have married a millionaire many times, but chose a thousandaire instead. Condoman/Caveman – another autobiographical joke.

And because I'm behind on posts lately, here's another bonus cartoon. I am proud of this one, as well, and it also has a bit of an autobiographical nature to it.

Having been through two marriages, I've come to learn that all relationships have expiration dates. When you first get together, you never know if the expiry date will be six months or sixty years. Just another fact of life at the crossroads of existence and reality. Live, learn, suffer, grow, nap, repeat.

Like many people, as I get older I find it increasingly difficult to take weddings seriously. Mostly, I just go for the free food and booze at the reception.

My advice to youngsters: commitment ceremonies followed by a party beat a legal marriage any day – unless you have financial reasons like taxes, health insurance, or you plan to breed and don't trust your spouse to support them, there is no good reason to get legally married. In general, do all you can to keep lawyers out of your bedroom. You'll be glad you did.

Cat Fight

Bizarro is brought to you today by Feline Awareness Week.

One morning while digging through my feeble brain for cartoon ideas I was idly watching two of my cats do that play-fighting thing they do. I've always loved the way cats fight: the fluid dive from a seemingly relaxed standing position, the choice to lie on its back and wait for the other to dive, the frantic tumbling/biting/pawing/punching followed by taking a few steps away and feigning utter disinterest, then diving back in. I thought how fun it would be to see a couple of tough guys in a bar fighting this way and tried to draw it.

I have no idea how successful this cartoon is or whether most people understood it on the level it was meant. I'd be interested in hearing your comments about how you perceived it.

Most cartoons are pretty straight forward and I can make a fairly accurate prediction about how many readers will get it. But sometimes ideas like this pop up that I can only guess about. Lots of my ideas don't get drawn at all because I know they are too opaque. But I think it is important to push the envelope every now and then and take a chance on an odd one. This is just another of the many reasons I'm not rich. My cartoon appeals more to people who like to think, and as we can see from recent political trends in this once great nation of ours, that portion of the country shrinks daily.

Since I haven't posted a cartoon in a couple of days, here's another one, which is much more straight forward. It is word play, maybe even "punnery," but I like that it makes you think before you can get it. I'm guessing that a lot of readers missed this one entirely. But that's what Garfield is for.

RALEIGH BOOK SIGNING

Arrrr! Come to my book signing on Saturday, October 4 in Raleigh and get a SIGNED copy of my new book, all full of nothing but pirate cartoons.

I'll also do a little comedy shtick of some sort, in the form of an author reading. That part is free and the book is only $10. For a normal person that would be enough, but I can't let my readers go home not feeling they got more of me than they ever wanted, so I'll even draw a little picture in it for you, put your name, sign mine, and add a firecracker (or the icon of your choice!) I'll even take a picture with you if you have a camera. The fun will be almost like Carnival in Rio. But without the nudity. At least on my part.

You can even order an advance copy on line and pick it up when you get there.

Quail Ridge Books & Music
quailridgebooks.booksense.com

3522 Wade Ave
Raleigh, NC 27607
(919) 828-1588

Triangle Living

I've got another public appearance coming up soon that I'd like to tell you about. I'll be speaking on Friday night, October 3 at a thing called the International Compassionate Living Festival in Raleigh/Durham.

My talk will last an hour or so and will be a combo of my usual comedy shows and a multi-media presentation about my views on animal issues. I'll be showing cartoons I've done on the subject as well as a lot of the usual nonsense that I include in my regular comedy set.

There will be lots of other speakers throughout the weekend worth listening to, too, so check it out.

And, as a special bonus, if you mention that you heard about it on this blog, I'll let you buy me a drink in the hotel bar. Oh, the stories you'll tell.