Come See Me in Person This Week!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of the San Francsico Bay Area:
I'll be doing two personal appearances there this Thursday, November 13.

Stacey's, a bookstore at 581 Market St. near 2nd St. at 12:30pm. That's the one right after noon.

A pirate supply store at 826 Valencia in the Mission, at 6pm. If you haven't been to this place, it's a must-see. They have everything you need for the pirating life, and some things you don't.

I'll be talking, being funny and charming, selling and signing my new book of pirate cartoons. I'm a fun person to meet in person and you will enjoy yourself. I will even take a picture with you while pretending to be a celebrity.

Veterans Day

(cover by Joe Kubert from Our Army at War #295)

Class Actions

Bizarro is brought to you today by Class Warfare.
I'm always suspicious of these stories that all politicians tell that start with, "I remember the single mother of three in Detroit who told me..." I'm guessing the vast majority of those instances are made up.

Especially when the candidate telling the story is the lying, evil one, as opposed to the one I support.

I'm as cynical about politicians as the next guy, but I honestly think Obama is one of those extremely rare politicians who is in the game to actually help people rather than to feed his own ego and pocketbook.

Let's hope I'm right.

One final note: I hate the drawing of the guy on the couch in this cartoon. It's more-or-less supposed to be me and is probably the worst self-caricature I've ever done. The proportions are all wrong, I must have been in a hurry to make a deadline. Below is a quick sketch of what I wish it had looked more like. The proportions are a little funnier and much more accurate. Luckily, I look like a cartoon character, so drawing myself is usually no challenge.

More Decorative Injuries

(Click images for biginations)

More tattoo images from my penpal in Asia. These are the two on his ribs, the edges of which can be seen in the picture of the larger image on his back in my previous post a couple of days ago.

This was a two-panel Sunday comic that he broke in half and placed on each rib. It's interesting that he chose to do these in black and white instead of the original color.

Okay, everybody, start sending in those Bizarro tattoo pics. I know there must be tens of thousands of you out there with my cartoons indelibly implanted beneath your skin.

Hello?

Anyone?

Are You Saved?

Bizarro is brought to you today by People Who Want To Save You.

Who doesn't want to be saved? Life is hard. Bad things happen to us, we get ourselves into jams we wish we hadn't and can't see the way out. Wouldn't it be great if someone or something could come along and snatch you up out of the poo pit you've fallen into and make everything all better? (Answer on page 372)

For those of you without a page 372 on your computer, the answer is, "yes." That's why humans have always been in love with saviors. What's not to love?

The downside is that some people will try to save you against your will, with the savior of their choice. This can be anything from uncomfortable to annoying to dangerous.

I wish being saved were simpler. I wish my life, like my computer, would kick into a screensaver mode after I've left it unattended for five minutes. Just put everything on hold and make sure nothing gets changed or damaged while I'm not looking.

I don't, however, want to have to replace my life with a new one every four years so it will work with new applications. There are too many humans as it is.

Scary Costumes

(Want it big? Click the cartoon!)

Bizarro is brought to you by the new book by A. Merica, "Dodging a Bullet: How Voters Finally Woke the F*ck Up and Saved Me From the Abyss."

This cartoon ran a couple days after Halloween and is based on the same theme I used last year at this time, but with different costumes and punch lines, of course. It was SO hard to avoid obvious costumes like "President Sarah Palin," nothing could be scarier than that, but I have to keep Bizarro from overtly attacking specific political parties. Yes, it is hard.

The title panel that went with this cartoon in some markets was fun, I think. It's a portrait studio picture of me when I was a kid (I think I was about 17 in this picture) that I have used regularly for Bizarro. My dad tells me that Mom gets a kick out of seeing it in the paper, but wishes I wouldn't "mess it up" with my humorous additions. When she said that, I think she was specifically referring to the three-eyed alien version I sometimes use.

Ultimate Compliment

Okay, Bizarro readers, here's a challenge for you. A reader from Asia has gotten several of my cartoons tattooed on his body. Here he is displaying his most recent addition, along with the cartoon that it came from.

Who's next? Send your Bizarro tattoo pictures to me care of this blog and I'll post them as they come in. Unless there are so many that I just can't keep up, at which point it will be first come, first posted. So hurry!

Be the first in your family to mark your body with Bizarro FOR LIFE!


(Click images to enlargenize them bigger)