Trials of the Extra Terrestrial

Bizarro is brought to you today by Invasion of the Coffee Tables.
I've used the Bizarro alien icon in cartoons as more than just a "hidden picture" before, but I think this is the first time he has been the subject of the joke. For anyone keeping a detailed scrapbook of every minute detail of my career, flag this page with a Post-it note and a star! Then see a counselor about seeking a more worthwhile pastime.

It is interesting that we nearly always imagine aliens to be about our size or, if they are evil, much bigger. But I can't recall ever seeing a story about tiny aliens. I'm sure there are some and sci-fi afficianados who see this post will leave some examples in the comments section, but it certainly isn't common in film or TV. I did a cartoon a long time ago about a race of extra-terrestials who were the size and shape of golf balls and were terrified by our species' treatment of them.

Kurt Vonnegut wrote a novel years ago in which the Chinese had conquered the world by developing a way to shrink themselves to microscopic size. While the rest of the world was in ruins as people fought over scarce resources, the Chinese had virtually unlimited resources because they consumed so little and their enemies could no longer even see them. This has nothing to do with this cartoon, but I thought it was a brilliant idea and wanted to tell you about it. (Yes, science geeks, I know there are holes in this plot as this would drastically increase the number of other predators they would encounter, but let's put that aside for now.)

If extra terrestrials that were the size of, say, birds visited our planet and were not well-armed with more advanced weapons than ours, we would subjugate them and eat them, of course, as we do to everything else we can dominate. There are some people who will eat anything with a pulse and claim it is delicious, so it probably wouldn't even matter what they tasted like.

There have been many stories of aliens that are more powerful than we that want to eat us, of course. I enjoy these kinds of stories as I hope that people will see the obvious parallel to how we treat our fellow beings on this planet, but that never happens. Unless a Planet of the Apes scenario actually takes place, I'm certain it never will.

I hate to end on a serious note, so let's all have a look at this, from Night Deposits, a random blog from my buddy, J. C. Duffy.

Yotsuba&! Design Awesomeness

Imagine my surprise this morning when I'm walking past the new unbound journal racks in the library and I see this staring back at me from the bottom shelf:



It's the latest issue (#334, May 2009) of the Japanese journal Idea: International Graphic Art and Typography. This special issue is almost entirely devoted to "Designs for Manga, Anime & Light Novels," nearly 200 pages worth. The first 24-page section is entirely devoted to one of my all-time favorite manga, Yotsuba&!, with design examples of tankōbon, calendars, CDs, toys, and promotional materials. Here's a sample page:



The text is almost entirely in Japanese so I can't read any of the commentary, but I could easily spend hours just looking at the pictures.

As a bonus, this issue comes with a 28-page mini-comic full of experimental manga bizarreness. Here's a sample 2-page spread:



(I apologize for the quality of the scans; the scanner I had access to in the library wasn't the greatest. The color in the originals is much more vibrant.)

New Library Comics: May 2009

And here are the new comics that we added to the library's collection in May:


Allred, Mike (Mike Dalton) Madman atomic comics vol. 2 / Berkeley, CA : Image Comics, c2008-

Avery, Chayne. Boy meets hero / Berlin : Gmünder, c2008.

Bell, Gabrielle. Cecil & Jordan in New York : stories / Montreal, Quebec : Drawn & Quarterly ; New York, NY : Distributed in the USA and abroad by Farrar, Straus and Giroux, c2009.

Brainard, Joe, 1942-1994. The Nancy book / Los Angeles : Siglio Press, 2008.

Claremont, Chris, 1950- New Mutants classic vol. 4 / New York : Marvel, 2006.

Del Carmen, Ronnie. And there you are / [Emeryville, Calif.] : Paper Biscuit Industries, 2009.

Di Liddo, Annalisa, 1977- Alan Moore : comics as performance, fiction as scalpel / Jackson : University Press of Mississippi, c2009.

Eerie. Eerie archives vol. 1 / Milwaukie, Or. : Dark Horse, 2009.

Ellis, Warren. Transmetropolitan 1. Back on the street / New York : DC Comics, c2009-

Erotic comics. 2 . A graphic history from the liberated ’70’s to the internet / New York, NY : Abrams, 2009

Folman, Ari. Waltz with Bashir : a Lebanon war story / New York : Metropolitan Books, 2009.

Geary, Rick. The adventures of Blanche / Milwaukie, Or. : Dark Horse, 2009.

Hornschemeier, Paul, 1977- Mother come home / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, 2009.

Humbug / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, 2009.

Kirby, Jack. Jack Kirby's The losers / New York : DC Comics, 2009.

Kovac, Tommy. Stitch / San Jose, Calif. : SLG, 2009.

Kubert, Joe, 1926- Tor : a prehistoric odyssey / New York, NY : DC Comics, c2009.

Laird, Roland Owen. Still I rise : a graphic history of African Americans / New York : Sterling Pub. Co., 2009.

Lee, Stan. The Fantastic Four vol. 1 / New York : Marvel, 2009-

Mack, David. Kabuki v. 7. The alchemy / Fullerton, CA : Image Comics, c1997-

Marder, Larry. Beanworld bk. 1. Wahoolazuma! / Milwaukie, OR : Dark Horse Books, 2009-

McKeever, Ted. Metropol / Berkeley, Calif. : Image ; London : Diamond [distributor], 2009.

Messner-Loebs, William. Journey : the adventures of Wolverine MacAlistaire vol. 1 / San Diego, Calif. : IDW Publishing, 2008-2009.

Millionaire, Tony. Drinky Crow's Maakies treasury / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, c2009.

Mome. vol. 14 Spring 2009. / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, 2005-

Mori, Kaoru, 1978- Emma vol. 8 / La Jolla, CA : WildStorm Productions, 2006-

Naifeh, Ted. Courtney Crumrin's monstrous holiday / Portland, OR : Oni Press, Inc., 2009.

Nakazawa, Keiji. Barefoot Gen : a cartoon story of Hiroshima v.7. Bones into dust / San Francisco, Calif. : Last Gasp of San Francisco, 2004-

Nakazawa, Keiji. Barefoot Gen : a cartoon story of Hiroshima v.8. Merchants of death / San Francisco, Calif. : Last Gasp of San Francisco, 2004-

O'Malley, Bryan Lee. Scott Pilgrim v. 3. Scott Pilgrim & the infinite sadness / Portland, OR : Oni Press, 2004-

O'Malley, Bryan Lee. Scott Pilgrim v. 4. Scott Pilgrim gets it together / Portland, OR : Oni Press, 2004-

O'Malley, Bryan Lee. Scott Pilgrim v. 5. Scott Pilgrim vs. the universe / Portland, OR : Oni Press, 2004-

Pekar, Harvey. The beats : a graphic history / New York : Hill and Wang, 2009.

Popgun vol. 3 / Berkeley, Calif. : Image Comics, 2007-

Regnaud, Jean. My mommy is in America and she met Buffalo Bill / [Spain] : Ponent Mon ; [England] : Fanfare, c2007.

Rogers, Boody Gordon. Boody : the bizarre comics of Boody Rogers / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, 2009.

Schulz, Charles M. (Charles Monroe), 1922-2000. The complete Peanuts [v. 11] 1971-1972 / Seattle, WA : Fantagraphics Books, c2004-

Soule, Charles. Strongman / San Jose, CA : SLG Publishing, 2009.

Supermen! : the first wave of comic-book heroes 1936-1941 / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, 2009.

Tatsumi, Yoshihiro, 1935- A drifting life / Montréal, Quebec : Drawn and Quarterly, 2009.

Tezuka, Osamu, 1928-1989. Black Jack vol. 3 / New York : Vertical, c2008-

Tezuka, Osamu, 1928-1989. Black Jack vol. 4 / New York : Vertical, c2008-

Tobe, Keiko. With the light : raising an autistic child vol. 4 / New York : Yen Press, 2007-

Trondheim, Lewis. Little nothings 2. The prisoner syndrome / New York : NBM, 2008-

Urasawa, Naoki, 1960- Pluto : Urasawa x Tezuka vol. 2 / San Francisco, CA : VIZ Media, c2008-

Usui, Yoshito, 1958- Crayon Shinchan vol. 7 / La Jolla, CA : CMX, c2008-

Vähämäki, Amanda. The bun field / Montréal : Drawn &Quarterly, 2009.

Walker, Mort. Sam's strip : the comic about comics / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, 2009.

Watchmen and philosophy : a Rorschach test / Hoboken, N.J. : John Wiley & Sons, c2009.

Wolverton, Basil, d. 1978. The Wolverton bible : the Old Testament & Book of Revelation through the pen of Basil Wolverton / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics ; New York : Distributed in the U.S. by W.W. Norton, c2009.

World war three illustrated. no. 39 / N.Y.C. : S. Tobocman, P. Kuper, C. Kohlhofer, 1980-

Yuri monogatari vol. 6 / [United States] : ALC, c2004-



As always, this listing is available as an RSS Feed.

A Lot of Bull

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Skaters In Love.

The basic concept for this cartoon came from my young protege, Victor, who has been sending me ideas since he was about 14. He's got some great ideas, especially for his age, and I've drawn a dozen-or-so of them in the past five years or whatever. I forgot how old Victor is now.

I like cartoons that lead you to think through the punch line and this is one of those. Of course, you have to have heard the expression, "like a bull in a china shop," to get the joke, but I think people still say that, don't they?

I often wonder where expressions like this come from. Who first thought of placing a bull in a china shop to illustrate destructive clumsiness? Did someone say it in a pub in Llanidloes, Wales in the 17th century and it spread slowly by word of mouth from there? Or was the expression published somewhere and catch on more quickly? There's probably a web site that explains it, but who's got the time to dig that up right now? Not I.

For the record, I think bullfighting is the most heinous and barbaric of sports still being practiced in the civilized world. Parts of Spain are finally outlawing it, and it's about time. Others are decrying the loss of a "tradition." Slavery, rape, pillaging, and throwing virgins into volcanoes are traditional human activities, too, but I'm not shedding any tears over their loss. Not that they are completely gone, but at least we're not still televising them or featuring these activities in the travel section of the Sunday paper.

As you might surmise, I root for the bull.

Party Story

I went to a terrific party last night at the Bowery Hotel in NYC. It was a record release party for Rhett Miller's latest solo album. Rhett is the lead singer/songwriter for Old 97s, one of my fave groups, and his solo albums are just as good.
















We met a few years ago after one of his shows and discovered we'd been fans of each other's work for years. We've been friends ever since. Rhett is much taller than I, but he tactfully knelt down beside me for this photo.














Here we are with Rhett's dentist, Rich Weiss. He's a fun dude, as you can tell from the pic. He reports that although people regularly tell him that dentists have a very high suicide rate, he feels no such inclinations.

Also in attendance was one of my favorite comedians, Paul F. Tompkins. He's a very friendly fellow who spent a good long while chatting with me, assuring me he was familiar with my cartoons and never letting on for a second that he wished I would go away. A real mensch.














I gave him my contact info, if I never hear from him, I'll know he is also a good pretender.

Paul arrived with his lovely fiance, Janey ( Janie? Janee? Jay-knee? I didn't ask her how she spells it) and his talented comedian friend, Todd Barry, seen here in the background.














Todd was nice, too, although I spent more time talking to Paul and didn't get a picture with Todd. I felt bad because he was in "The Wrestler" and I haven't seen that movie yet. He's also been in a couple of episodes of "Flight of the Conchords," one of my favorite shows in the world of television and which makes me very jealous of him. Afraid that the jealously would show and possibly lead to a donnybrook, I steered clear of Todd for the most part.

Janeane Garafalo joined us a for a couple of hours, whom CHNW and I know from the benefit comedy shows she's done with us for Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary. She's a peach, and a brilliant and funny one, at that.

Toward the end of the evening, Rhett played some of his new songs and everyone was richer for the experience. After the official party was over, CHNW and I avoided the "after party" and went home, because I've been sick with some kind of hideous head cold. If the aforementioned celebs get sick in the coming week or so, you'll know it was my fault. I warned them to wash their hands and not to kiss me, but celebrities never listen.

Rolling Stone gave Rhett's new album 4 stars, buy it now.

New Library Comics: April 2009

Realized that with all the hubbub kicking off Free Comic Book Month in May, I forgot to post April's new library comics list. So here it is, better late than never!:


Bastion comix. Especial otoño 2004 / Buenos Aires : Gargola Ediciones, c2004-c200

Baumann, Suzanne. Baumann's marginalia. / Hamtramck, MI : Suzanne E. Baumann, c1995

Baumann, Suzanne. Serious workout / Hamtramck, Mich. : Suzanne Baumann, c[20]02

Brothers in arms : Hell's highway. no. 1 / San Francisco, CA : Ubisoft, Inc./Gearbox Software, c2008.

Brunetti, Ivan. Ho! : the morally questionable cartoons of Ivan Brunetti. / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, 2009

Crabb, Cindy. Doris : an anthology of Doris zines from 1991-2001 / Portland, Ore. : Microcosm Pub., 2005.

Echolot / Berlin : Reprodukt, 2001.

Gray, Harold, 1894-1968. The complete Little Orphan Annie vol. 1 / San Diego, Calif. : IDW Pub., 2008-

Haas, Luke. Comics in, aus und über Luxemburg : leicht erweitert auf Illus und Cartoons / Esch-sur-Alzette : Schortgen, 2007

Hale, Shannon. Rapunzel's revenge / New York, N.Y. : Bloomsbury, 2008.

Hommer, Sascha. Im Museum : die Treppe zum Himmel / Berlin : Reprodukt, 2008.

K., Ulf. Der Exlibris / Berlin : Reprodukt, 2000.

Kleist, Reinhard, 1970- Cash : I see a darkness / Hamburg : Carlsen, 2006.

König, Ralf. aut Prototyp / Reinbek bei Hamburg : Rowohlt, 2008.

Mawil. Action Sorgenkind / Berlin : Reprodukt, 2007.

Pryzm. Chapter one, The dark unicorn / Calabasas, CA : Mediactive, c2002

Sasakura, Kou. Castlevania : curse of darkness vol. 1 / Los Angeles, CA : Tokyopop, 2008-

Scheel, Ulrich. Die sechs Schüsse von Philadelphia / Berlin : Avant-Verlag, 2008.

Stories of our people = Lii zistwayr di la naasyoon di Michif : a Métis graphic novel anthology / Saskatoon : Gabriel Dumont Institute, c2008

Sturm, James, 1965- Adventures in cartooning / New York : First Second, 2009.

Warcraft : Legends vol. 1 / Los Angeles, CA : Tokyopop, c2008-


As always, this listing is available as an RSS Feed.

Chase Me Out to the Ballgame

Bizarro is made possible by a grant from the Tossing Dirt on the Reaper Foundation.

Since I'm a groovy hip artsy type, people are often surprised to hear I'm a sports fan. Sorry if you are disappointed, not all sports fans are numskull beerbelly boobs like Joe the Plumber. In fact, the dude who lives across the street from me here at Bizarro International Headquarters is a college professor of some high-minded socialogical something-or-other, and he's an even bigger sports fan than am I.

I have always been athletic, I have good genes for that in all ways but size. So I played a lot of sports as a kid and learned to love it, but as I got into middle and high school, I was not behemoth enough to leave the bench in my various coaches' opinions, so I stopped trying out for the school teams. Additionally, I began to come into my own as a groovy hip artsy type and many of the other athletes began to come into their own as frankensteinian meatheads who cared about little more than sports. So we parted ways.

Though I love to watch sports, hockey is my favorite with American football a firm second, I loathe to watch a single athlete or coach being interviewed. I love the entertainment value of watching physically skilled humans exhibit amazing feats of athletic prowess, but when it comes to what's between their ears, I am always bored stiff. I have no doubt that some professional athletes are bright and creative, I just don't have the patience to wade through all of the "Joe Sixpack" simpletons to find them.

It is remarkeable how far we've come as a society, however. Just a couple of hundred years ago mobs of torch-bearing villagers hunted down mutants and murdered them out of fear. Now we dress them up in flashy jerseys and award them with multi-million dollar paychecks for slamming into others of their kind. It makes a human proud.

DISCLAIMER: Not all athletes or sports fans are idiots, maybe not even most. I said that above, so let it go. But let's face it, a lot of them are.
My pride in how far our society has come is largely facetious, as we still hunt down women's healthcare providers, homosexuals, atheists, etc. We have replaced torch-bearing mobs with Fox News, but you can't really call that progress.