Friday Night Fights: Captain America vs. Baron Zemo

From Avengers #6 (1964). Art by Jack Kirby & Chic Stone. Story by Stan Lee. Letters by Sam Rosen. Color reconstruction by Tom Ziuko (from Avengers Classic #6 - 2008).

The American Way? It's Free-for-All!

Death Disease Advertising

Bizarro is brought to you today by Waxy Heston.

Just for the sake of doing something different, today I'll start out with an old cartoon from the Bizarro archives, and then move on to the more recent cartoons. If you're uncomfortable with this change and would like to reverse this order, click here.

Here is a cartoon from 1996, only a few months after my first wife and I suddenly split up as a result of a dispute over the 7th commandment. I'm not a big fan of most of the commandments but this is one that remains one of my general rules in life for both myself and my partner. I guess I'm just an old-fashioned boy from Tulsa.

During this time I was very upset as a rule, and at times I was downright suicidal. The normally painful act of scraping a new cartoon out of the folds of my brain each day was exceptionally excruciating during this period, when all I really wanted to do was fantasize about double homicide. But my regular habits of eating daily and living indoors depended on it, so I soldiered on. This cartoon is an excellent example of how one can turn one's darker thoughts into comedy fit for public consumption.

In contrast, these days I'm pretty happy so my jokes are not mostly about death. Here's one, for example, that is about disease. The spelling error idea was sent to me by a reader and this is how I used it. A close friend of mine recently got a random staph infection in his eye and nearly lost it. No kidding, you shouldn't play around with that stuff. Eyes are handy, especially in pairs. He's better now, thanks.

This last idea I got while watching Mad Men, one of my favorite television programs. I think of myself as a sort of Don Draper type, except I'm not living under an assumed identity, I'm not in advertising, and I'm not suave and irresistible to women. Other than that, though...

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this morning. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid 5: The Ugly Truth *
2 (+5). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
3 (+2). Scott Pilgrim Volume 6: Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour
4 (-2). Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 3: Scott Pilgrim & the Infinite Sadness
5 (+1). Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 2: Scott Pilgrim Versus The World
6 (-3). Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 4: Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together
7 (-3). Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 1: Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life
8 (+15). Superman: Earth One *
9 (-1). Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight Volume 7: Twilight
10 (+3). The Walking Dead, Book 6 *
11 (+1). The Walking Dead Compendium Volume 1
12 (+36). X'ed Out
13 (-4). Odd Is on Our Side
14 (-4). Serenity: The Shepherd's Tale *
15 (-1). Parker: The Outfit
16 (-). Big Nate: From the Top *
17 (-2). Diary of a Wimpy Kid Box of Books
18 (+6). Witch & Wizard: Battle for Shadowland
19 (+1). X-Men: Second Coming
20 (-2). Walking Dead Volume 12
21 (+11). Dork Diaries 2: Tales from a Not-So-Popular Party Girl
22 (-5). Walking Dead Volume 13 *
23 (+3). The Adventures of Ook and Gluk, Kung-Fu Cavemen from the Future
24 (N). 40: A Doonesbury Retrospective *
25 (N). The Adventures of Unemployed Man
26 (+7). Dork Diaries: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life
27 (R). Dilbert: 2011 Day-to-Day Calendar
28 (+7). Batman: The Killing Joke
29 (-2). Bloom County: The Complete Library Volume 3 *
30 (-9). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
31 (+13). The Walking Dead, Vol. 9: Here We Remain
32 (-21). Lynd Ward: Six Novels in Woodcuts
33 (R). Blacksad
34 (N). Y The Last Man Deluxe Edition Book Four
35 (+4). The Complete Peanuts Boxed Set 1975-1978 (Vol. 13-14)
36 (-8). The Walking Dead Volume 11: Fear The Hunters
37 (-15). Kick-Ass
38 (-1). Watchmen
39 (N). Batman: Life After Death
40 (R). Blackest Night
41 (+4). The Walking Dead Book 5
42 (-6). The Walking Dead, Vol. 10: What We Become
43 (-). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
44 (-2). Four Color Fear: Forgotten Horror Comics of the 1950s *
45 (-26). American Vampire Vol. 1
46 (+4). The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb
47 (N). DC Comics Year by Year: A Visual Chronicle
48 (R). The Walking Dead, Book 3
49 (-20). The Cloud Searchers (Amulet)


Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.

N = New listing appearing on list for first time
R = Item returning to the list after having been off for 1 or more weeks


Commentary:

* The soon-to-be-released Wimpy Kid volume slips to #3 on the overall list this week, pushed down by the new Keith Richards autobiography. Dog Days, the previous Wimpy Kid volume, hops up ahead of Scott Pilgrim to #2 on the comics list (and #141 overall). That's mainly due to the waning interest in Scott Pilgrim, which despite the bargain prices on Amazon continue a steady decline on the overall list.

* JMS's Superman: Earth One hits stores next week and pops up into the top ten on Amazon. Also jumping up the list is Charles Burns' X'ed Out to #12. Falling precipitously this week are Lynd Ward, American Vampire, and The Cloud Searchers (#49 on the comics list and #2,527 overall).

* Debuting this week are 40: A Doonesbury Retrospective, The Adventures of Unemployed Man, Y The Last Man Deluxe Edition Book Four, Batman: Life After Death, and DC Comics Year by Year.

Betty #188

Betty #188
Nov 2010 | 36 pages | CBR | 20.5 MB
Download MIRROR #1

Download MIRROR #2

Samson Drugs Teabagger

Bizarro is brought to you today by Elections.

We've all had a good time the last few days discussing our various beliefs about science, diet and cancer, but now it's time to get down to something serious: comedy.

What could be more blissful and relaxing than living in a pharmaceutical ad? You feel no anxiety, you don't have to pee, you can get an erection any time the mood strikes and you can eat like a pig without worrying about your cholesterol. Of course, there are encyclopedias of terrifying side effects to consider, but those are only represented in the dulcet tones of the voice over. Nothing bad ever happens in a pharmaceutical ad. Count me in!

Less euphoric is the world of luggage transportation. Even with the unbelievably recent addition of wheels (we've had luggage and the wheel for tens of thousands of years and it was the late 20th century before anyone thought to combine them!) one still has to schlep one's luggage up and down stairs, into cars, over curbs, onto the scales at the airport, etc. If I'm traveling with the full 49.9 lbs suitcase, I always return with a backache. One would think the legendary strongman, Samson, would be immune to such human weakness, but along comes Samsonite.

Speaking of catastrophe, I'm trying hard not to worry about the elections in a couple of weeks. I know that Americans will just hand the country back over to the party that took eight years to ruin it because the current party couldn't fix it in two years. It's a done deal. So I'm telling myself ahead of time that it's already happened, things will get worse, humans are a deeply flawed species, someday I'll die and none of it will matter.

Maybe I'll be surprised and American voters in sufficient numbers will just say no to Fox News, but I think that's unlikely so we might as well have some fun with it and elect a Mr. T impersonator or a masturbation-opposing witch. As long as you're destined to listen to morons on the news for x number of years, you might as well go for the craziest ones possible. That's entertainment!

Another comedy post tomorrow, I hope to see your eyes peering through the computer screen again then, except for those of you who are big fans of Fox News and swear me off for good.

Cancer Fuss

Yesterday's post garnered some criticism about my assertion that there would be less cancer if people ate vegan diets. I don't want to start a never-ending war of comments and I normally would answer this kind of thing in the comments section itself, but this seemed important enough to post about. As requested, here is a link to one of many articles that supports my comment:

http://www.pcrm.org/resch/edresources/nutr_curr/nutr_curr_2.html

There are many other studies cited on that site, which is run by Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, not fringe animal rights activists. I just wanted respond to the accusation that I am spouting off irresponsibly or without evidence. Each person's ethical code is their own business, of course, but mine does not allow the intentional victimization of another for my own benefit, except in cases of self defense against that other being. So I don't believe in torturing others to cure ourselves. That's just me, your results may vary and objects in mirror are closer than they appear.

In short, according to medical information I've read: yes, cancer has numerous causes, susceptibility is genetic, and diet can strongly affect your chances of getting it and recovering from it.

Cuss Bus Pink

Bizarro is brought to you today by Intimacy.

I was at the Ohio State University Festival of Cartoon Art over the weekend and my oh my what a dandy it was. They do this thing every three years, there are only about 250 tickets sold, and the majority of attendees are cartoonists and serious collectors and aficionados. Also in attendance were Matt Groening, Art Spiegelman, Bill Griffith, Roz Chast, Patrick McDonnell, James Sturm, Jen Sorensen, Jan Eliot, Dave Kellett, Tom Gammill, Tony Cochran, and Steve Breen. I'm sure I forgot someone, please forgive me. It was a great honor to be able to tipple with some of my heroes, particularly Groening, Spiegelman, Griffith and Chast – all four are legends of intelligent humor, something that is always in danger of extinction in this reality-show, increasingly lowbrow world.

About this passel of cartoons I've posted today to catch up: "Adult Spelling Bee" is an idea I originally published in the 90s, I think. I came across it in my archives while looking for something else and thought it was a good idea and could be done better with a little tweaking, so I rewrote it a bit and redrew it.

Because I'm compiling cartoons for my super hero collection coming out in the spring, I'm still writing super hero gags. The one about the bus is a fantasy I've had many times. I loathe sitting next to strangers on public transportation, especially talkative ones, and will do almost anything to avoid it. I'm a friendly guy, but I can't stand small talk and think few things are worse than sitting next to a chatty traveler on a long flight.





The Mothman cartoon was a collaboration with my young teenage friend, Victor. It's colored that sickening pink because it was part of a breast cancer awareness project that King Features sponsored. All of King's cartoonists were asked to color their comics pink on Sunday, October 10. They asked me to do the poster for it. I'm not a fan of cancer research and don't like supporting it monetarily because a lot of that money goes toward torturing lab animals. If humans ate vegan diets there would be substantially less cancer, but rather than inconvenience ourselves or stop doing something we enjoy, we torture and kill millions of innocent beings every year in an attempt to find ways to survive eating the wrong foods. In spite of my objections, I participated in this project because it doesn't give money to the cause directly, but mostly reminds people to get screenings so they can catch it early. Just my take on it, whatever.

Thanks to Victor for his help on Mothman, I may recolor it for the book. The pink kind of turns my stomach.