Friday, 22 August 2008

Fueling Fools

Bizarro is brought to you today by Alien Technology Corporation.

I'm not a person who embraces the spiritual, mystical, mythical, or ethereal. I don't believe in Big Foot or Zeus or psychic phenomenon or ghosts. I used to add UFOs to that list without hesitation, but now I'm not so sure.

I've not had a UFO experience of any kind – unless you count the time I came across this Unusually Fetching Obelisk – but I've heard enough reputable people stand up before the press and say they have that it opens my mind a bit.

A smart guy once wrote that mathematically speaking, extra-terrestrial life is a possibility. Even if there is only a one-in-a-billion chance of intelligent life evolving on another planet, since there are a billion billion planets, that means that there should be a billion planets with intelligent life. That's all hypothetical, of course, but you get the idea.

If there were a billion planets with intelligent life, it is not impossible to believe that one or more of them might have been intelligent enough to invent a way to span huge expanses of space quickly and efficiently. In other words, they may have developed a better way to propel themselves around than exploding drops of liquid in a tin can. That technology has worked well for us here on Earth, but it is beginning to wear out its welcome. It is high time that we think outside the pump and invent some better way to get around.

If aliens are visiting earth and poking around, I hope they come to my comedy shows in San Francisco and Oakland in a couple of weeks. How much fun would it be to look out into the audience and see a couple of giant, green heads with big football-shaped eyes? I could riff on that for thirty minutes. We could hang out after for a drink, then they could give me a lift back to where I'm staying before they head back to their hotel.

An evening well worth the trip out West.

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