Ouija Wonders

Bizarro is brought to you today by the power of suggestion.

I love this idea to death and wish I could claim it completely. A very clever friend of mine named Cliff, sent the pun idea to me. I dropped it into this scenario and voila, I smiled. I'm still smiling all these weeks later.

This appeals to me not only because it is funny but it touches on satirizing military brutality. For those of you inclined toward the warmer-colored part of the political scale, I am not saying that all military personnel are brutal. Don't Dixie Chick me. (Or, do. I could use the publicity.)

Torture is brutal, however, and from what I've read, yeilds unreliable results since virtually any person on earth will say or do whatever it takes to make the torture stop. Including lying. My guess is that Ouija boarding would gather as dependable results as water boarding.

Which makes me wonder if the military has ever tried hypnotism. They could interrogate prisoners at night, on stage, thus both gaining information and entertaining the troops. And if they can't get the subject to tell them where Bin Laden is, they could at least get him to cluck like a chicken or imagine he is a beautiful woman and sashay about the stage to peals of laughter from the audience.

Some of our top government officials have said that they do not consider water boarding to be torture. I'd personally pay a lot to see that theory tested first hand.