Plagues

Bizarro is brought to you today by National Economy Statistics. "Open your eyes, yo. Are you kidding me with dis?"

When I look at the state of our nation over the past 7 1/2 years, it is impossible for me to believe that this election is even close. A nation populated by gophers and spider monkeys would have more sense.

The economy is in the toilet and getting worse, our allies have abandoned us (for good reason), and our constitution has been shredded. That doesn't even mention the moral dilemmas of the Iraq war, state-sanctioned torture, Guantanamo Bay, and tax breaks for the wealthiest Americans and their corporations. How is Obama not ahead by 90%?

But let's talk about moths instead. A few months ago, as suddenly as a poltergeist's sneeze, there were little moths all over my house. I don't mean like-syrup-on-a-pancake all over, I mean I see one fluttering by every hour or so, I see one on the wall or two on the ceiling, the cats regularly dance through the room chasing one, that sort of thing. I even find them in kitchen drawers. Drawers without sweaters.

I've been to the hardware store but can't find any product that might rid me of this Old Testament plague. Anyone out there got a natural remedy of some sort? Like misting the house with a solution of lemongrass, garlic and household bleach? One of those kind of things?

And if you are actually considering voting for John McCain, at least realize that McCain has voted with Bush over 90% of the time, so you're voting for four more years of Bush's policies. Not even a spider monkey could argue that.