Youth Burglar

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Ravages of Time. "Soon to be in a mirror near you."

This cartoon confused a few readers, though I would not have anticipated that. Part of it is my fault. By hiding the dynamite under the old geezer's chair, people assumed it meant something about death or suicide. My bad, as the kids say. For the unknowing: I put a few icons in each cartoon – pie, dynamite, eyeball, alien, K2, bunny head – and it has nothing to do with the joke. See here for deeper meanings.

Instead, the cartoon is just meant to be a simple before/after visual of what time does to us. Nothing more philosophical than that, sorry.

I recently turned older on my birthday, something that I have been doing once every year or so for most of my life. I may discontinue that practice soon, however, as I am not happy with some of the side effects.

I enjoy every aspect of aging except for the effect it seems to be having on my body. I still look much younger than I am, which is good, but I don't feel much younger, which is bad. I can now pull a muscle in my back just by sneezing. The pain lasts for days. My knees sound like gravel in a cardboard box when I climb stairs. Mysterious pains pop up in my joints for no reason and hang around for weeks.

On the brighter side, everything else about my life is better. Sex is better because I know what I'm doing. (Finally!) Relationships are better because I don't let erroneous fears and needless anxieties rule my emotions. I'm better at my job, think more clearly, am able to ignore the bullsh*t minutiae in life and see the big picture more readily. I am much more confident overall and my creative abilities and hand skills continue to improve with practice. I have also given up the hope that I may one day be able to move objects with my mind or fly without mechanical assitance.

I expect I may live to be 100, many of us in this generation will if we don't render the planet uninhabitable for humans or blow each other up first. But in the end, I don't really care how long I live, as long as the quality is good.

Of course, all bets are off if McCain steals the upcoming election.