Captain Canada

Today's Bizarro cartoon has been brought to you by Samurai Hitler.

To my surprise, this cartoon attracted some of the most vehement hate mail I've received in a long time. I suppose I should have seen it coming, but to me the joke is an innocuous take on the feeling so many Americans have had in the past eight years of being anywhere from embarrassed about our government, to afraid of retribution from others while traveling abroad. We progressives joked regularly about disguising our citizenship while out of the country and some actually did so with Canadian patches on their backpacks, etc.

To be brutally honest, I think that people who find this cartoon to be offensive have a very childish view of patriotism. I can't find the exact quote, but Al Franken said in one of his books that conservatives love their country the way a toddler loves his mother: she is always right, she can do no wrong, and god help anyone who speaks against her. A liberal loves his country the way adults love each other: you support them and want the best for them so you are not averse to offering constructive criticism, putting your foot down when they misbehave, and refusing to be abused by them. (Al said it much better but you get the idea.)

Some of my favorite quotes on the subject:

We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty. When the loyal opposition dies, I think the soul of America dies with it. – Edward R. Murrow

Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it. –George Bernard Shaw

Patriotism is arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles. –George Jean Nathan

I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually. –James Baldwin

When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross. – Sinclair Lewis


As for me, when America is contributing to the welfare of its citizens and the world, and upholding the principles on which it was founded, I am patriotic. When it is invading sovereign nations on false premises, torturing its captives, and robbing its poor to feed the rich, I'm ashamed of it. Your results may vary.

I promise tomorrow's post will be funny instead of serious.

The Morning Puke

Bizarro has been brought to you today by Barbie's Bang Mobile.

I don't want to turn this blog into a never ending lecture about the limitless evils of the human species, so I'll just let this cartoon speak for itself.

On a more lighthearted note, my cat is throwing up as I type this. This is her morning puke, another one is scheduled for around 7pm. She eats a small amount of cat food twice a day (her choice, not mine) and moments later throws up everything she has eaten, often right back into the bowl from whence it came. She has been like this for years, yet continues to maintain an average weight.

Were a human to do this she would at first be termed bulimic, but after years of this behavior without losing a pound, would become a source of great medical curiosity.

My other cat, the first cat's daughter, never eats at all. Neither CHNW nor I have ever seen her put a morsel of food in her mouth. Like her mum, she neither loses nor gains weight. The strangest part of this mystery, however, is that the litter box fills up daily. I've lain awake nights trying to figure it out and have come up with the following theories:

1. The cats have found another food source of which my wife and I are not aware. Like a loose floorboard behind the sofa stuffed with tuna jerky.

2. The cats are letting their friends in at night to poop in our box, in an attempt to cover the fact that they are vampires.

3. The cats don't really exist, I am experiencing early-onset dementia.

If any of you have any more reasonable theories, please let me know. I could use the sleep.

May is Free Comic Book Month 5 at YACB!

May is rapidly approaching, so it's time for the Fifth Annual Free Comic Book Month!

May 2 is Free Comic Book Day, but here at YACB one day isn't good enough. For the fifth straight year, we'll be giving away free comics every day of May!

That's right, free comics! Each day of May I'll pick someone to receive a free comic, taken from my personal collection: duplicates, things I have in trades, and other stuff. My goal is to match up people with a comic that they haven't read but that they may like. My tastes are wide and varied, so chances are I have a comic for you.

And by free I mean free. Really. No cost, no shipping & handling, all free.

Here's what you need to do to enter:

By email (superman@umich.edu), send me the following:

* Your name
* Your postal address
* Titles of five comics that you like
* One other thing that you like (a book, a movie, an activity, etc.)
* Please include 'FCBM' in the subject line

That's it! For every day of May I'll choose at least one entry and try to match up that person with a comic, then I'll mail the comic to him or her. It's easy, and it's free!

(Note that this year I'm adding one more piece of entry data: something other than a comic that you like. I hope that this will make things a bit more interesting and help me better in fitting you with a comic.)

Last year I gave away 106 comics to 47 different people!

Of course, there are a few restrictions:

* You must be 18 or older
* You must live in the United States
* You may enter at any point during May, but only one entry per person.

And a little bit of fine print:

* Persons receiving comics are chosen by me, based on whether I feel I can provide a comic to you
* Even if you've entered in previous years, you're welcome to enter again
* I'll try my best, but there's no guarantee you'll actually like the comic I send
* All winners will be announced here on Yet Another Comics Blog (please let me know if you don't want your real name used)
* At least one winner will be selected each day, but it may take me a few days to get to the post office, so please be patient
* I will not use your address to spam you, nor sell or give your information to others

But wait, there's more!

Each person who has a free comic chosen for him/her will also receive a copy of the 2008 Halloween ashcan edition of either A Peanuts Halloween or Walt Disney's Donald Duck. (Let me know if you have a preference, though no guarantees; and if I go overboard again his year and run out I may substitute something else.)

That's right, two free comics! How could you ask for anything more?

So what are you waiting for? Send in your entry today!

More is Never Enough

Bizarro is brought to you today by Art Cruelty.

I think this cartoon is funny. I don't shop at places like Costco because I have no need for enormous quantities of products at low prices. If I were responsible for feeding a penitentiary full of inmates or a didn't know where babies came from and just kept reproducing, I suppose I would. I won't say I've never been to one of these monstrous markets, but I will say it wouldn't bother me if I never was again.

I'm uncomfortable with this kind of consumerism and what it is doing to our planet, but that's just me. As a reader of this blog told me recently, "you can always tell a liberal, but you can't tell him much." I could describe her the same way, of course, but whatever.

Even without the political sermon, I like this cartoon. Big chaw and a 4000-foot lariat make me smile.

Deer John

(Click image for a larger, clearer, more satisfying view.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Cool Cops.

I used to go hunting with my dad when I was a kid and I admit that I really loved it. It wasn't the killing of animals that I enjoyed, it was the "man time" with my father that made it great. And, of course, the challenge of hitting a target appeals to a kid the same way a video game does.

As an adult, I have no tolerance for hunting for reasons other than immediate survival. Hunting in modern society is simply killing for fun. I can think of few things more reprehensible, with the possible exception of being a reality show producer.

From my current perspective, however, buying dead animals at the market is no better and arguably even worse. At least wild animals have a decent life before they get snuffed. The corpses in the deli case at the market were miserable from birth to slaughter. Since we don't need to eat flesh for health or survival, our only excuse is that it tastes good. It is difficult to argue that killing for flavor is any better than hunting for fun. We're just paying someone else to do the dirty work.

Sermons aside, I wrote this gag because I am a fan of cartoons that look like one thing but are revealed to be something different upon reading. I write those kinds of jokes every chance I get. The art on this one was fun to produce, too. Achieving the colors of twilight in the woods and the beam of the car's headlights was a kick. I like the way it looks on computer, but newspaper printing processes are not nearly as bright so this cartoon looked darker and murky in print. With something like this, it's impossible to get both to look good.

I hope you have enjoyed the few seconds you have spent reading my little blog. If you would like to read other entries, please do so now.

Monkey Covers

Sunday is Monkey Covers day here at YACB. Because there's nothing better than a comic with a monkey on the cover!

Casper frightens King Kong on the cover of The Friendly Ghost, Casper #218.

(Standard disclaimer about frightened giant gorillas not really being monkeys applies.)


Image courtesy of the GCD. Click on the image for a larger version.

Do These Shoes Make My Feet Look Big?

Bizarro is brought to you today by Unlikely Comedians.

At the risk of offending some of my readers, I will confess that I do not believe in "Bigfoot," "Sasquatch," "The Abominable Snowman," etc. There is simply not enough (or any) evidence beyond the personal accounts of woodsy folk tanked up on Bud.

I do not mean to say that I think it is alcohol that makes people see things in the woods, far from it. We all possess this very natural and useful tendency, no inebriation required. All mammals have evolved brains that see something where there is nothing, rather than nothing where there is something. It helps keep us alive. If you mistake a shadow for an intruder, no harm done, better safe than sorry. If you mistake an intruder for a shadow, you less likely to live long enough to reproduce this propensity for poor judgment.

So when we see something move in the wilderness, we have to make it into something. Our brain processes patterns and comes to conclusions, without our even trying. This alone explains the timeless, worldwide phenomenon of people seeing monsters in the woods, lakes, ocean, sky, snow. (It also explains our lust for conspiracy theories and our compulsion to invent gods. If we don't know the answer, we make one up to satisfy our minds. Without these answers, we go nuts. With an explanation, no matter how ridiculous, we are satisfied.)

If you're still not convinced there are no "Bigfoots" (Bigfeet?) ask yourself this: where are the bodies? How does this monkey-bear-human with size 29 shoes manage to hide not only itself and all of its kind from being adequately photographed, but its corpses, skeletons and fossils as well? We've found skeletons from mammoths and dinosaurs, for crying out loud, where are the giant skeleton feet of Bigfoot? And considering how many blood-thirsty apes of the human kind there are running around the wilderness wearing camo and waving guns, how is it none of these large, hirsuit, slow-moving targets have been shot? Hell, our species is infamous for shooting anything that moves and fairly regularly even shoots one another, which is why they wear those lovely orange vestments. So why are there no Bigheads proudly displayed on the walls of the dens of Alabama sportsmen?

Wait...now I'm beginning to see a pattern. Perhaps Bigfoots are smarter than we realize. Perhaps they dress in florescent orange camo, carry guns, drive off-road vehicles with gigantic tires and listen to Kenny Chesney. No wonder we've never photographed or captured one in the wild, they are living among us!

Friday Night Fights: Magnus vs. Robots

From Magnus Robot Fighter #2 (1991). Art by Bob Layton & Kathryn Bolinger. Colors by Janet Jackson & Karen Merbaum. Letters by Jade. Story by Jim Shooter. (click pic for larger)

One panel? SQUEEE!

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this afternoon. All the previous caveats apply.

1 (N). Dilbert 2.0: 20 Years of Dilbert
2 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
3 (-2). Watchmen
4 (-1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
5 (-1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
6 (-1). Star Trek: Countdown TPB
7 (+5). Secret Identity: The Fetish Art of Superman's Co-creator Joe Shuster
8 (+3). Stephen King's Dark Tower: Treachery
9 (+4). Mercy Thompson Homecoming *
10 (N). Huntress: Year One
11 (N). The Perry Bible Fellowship Almanack
12 (-2). V for Vendetta
13 (-5). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
14 (-7). The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Volume 3: Century #1 *
15 (-9). A Drifting Life
16 (-7). Batman: The Killing Joke
17 (+1). Blueberry Girl
18 (-3). Time of Your Life (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 4) *
19 (+16). Serenity, Vol. 2: Better Days
20 (-3). Batman: Year One
21 (-7). Batman: R.I.P.
22 (+10). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
23 (+1). The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Vol. 1
24 (+15). The Long Way Home (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 1)
25 (+4). Bone: One Volume Edition
26 (+14). The Saturday Evening Pearls: A Pearls Before Swine Collection
27 (-8). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
28 (-1). The Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes and Nocturnes
29 (-8). Wolves at the Gate (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 3)
30 (+12). Dark Tower: The Long Road Home (Exclusive Amazon.com Cover)
31 (+10). The Complete Peanuts 1971-1972 *
32 (N). Serenity, Vol. 1: Those Left Behind
33 (N). The Arrival
34 (-12). Ignorance, Thy Name Is Bucky: A Get Fuzzy Collection
35 (N). Unmanned (Y: The Last Man, Vol. 1)
36 (-16). Angel: After the Fall, Vol. 3
37 (-4). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
38 (N). Justice Society of America: Thy Kingdom Come, Part 3
39 (+5). The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Vol. 2
40 (N). Maus II: A Survivor's Tale: And Here My Troubles Began
41 (N). Marvel Zombies 3 *
42 (-16). The Dresden Files: Welcome to the Jungle
43 (+5). Angel: After The Fall Volume 1
44 (N). Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
45 (-22). All Star Superman, Vol. 2
46 (N). The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier
47 (N). Batman: Heart of Hush
48 (-18). The Beats: A Graphic History
49 (-2). No Future For You (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 2)
50 (N). Fables, Vol. 11: War and Pieces



Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.


Commentary:

* Another exciting week on the Amazon charts. The biggest news was the mysterious and sudden rise of Huntress: Year One, which earlier this week jumped up to the top of the comics chart and #10 on the overall books chart. It turns out that the author, Ivory Madison, had used Amazon to purchase and send out a bunch of review copies. A perfectly legitimate if unorthodox use of Amazon; all the copies were ordered and paid for. It does serve to illustrate the volatility of the Amazon bestseller rankings and how a short spike in sales can affect the charts. (Which really makes these weekly snapsots looks of mine rather pointless, doesn't it?)

* Speaking of short sales spikes, Dilbert 2.0: 20 Years of Dilbert is today's featured Gold Box deal on Amazon, with plenty enough people buying the book at 60% off to send it (momentarily) up to #1 on the comics chart and presently #6 overall.

* Even without the sudden Dilbert bump, Watchmen would have fallen from its coveted #1 slot this week, as its sales finally dipped below that of the latest Diary of a Wimpy Kid volume.

* Secret Identity: The Fetish Art of Superman's Co-creator Joe Shuster jumped up another five slots this week, no doubt buoyed by author Craig Yoe's appearance on yesterday's Fresh Air broadcast on NPR.

* A Drifting Life remains the only manga title on the list this week. The next volumes of Naruto & Fruits Basket aren't due until early July, so it could be a long dry spell for manga on the charts.

* Marvel Zombies 3 pops up in the bottom quarter of the charts, giving Marvel something other than Dark Tower to show for.

* Anybody know why The Perry Bible Fellowship Almanack might have popped back in way up at #11? I'm at a loss.

Hugos

For the first time this year, the Hugo Awards have a category for "Best Graphic Story." The nominees were announced last month; and in the Graphic Story category, the nominees are:

• The Dresden Files: Welcome to the Jungle Written by Jim Butcher, art by Ardian Syaf (Del Rey/Dabel Brothers Publishing)
• Girl Genius, Volume 8: Agatha Heterodyne and the Chapel of Bones Written by Kaja & Phil Foglio, art by Phil Foglio, colors by Cheyenne Wright (Airship Entertainment)
• Fables: War and Pieces Written by Bill Willingham, pencilled by Mark Buckingham, art by Steve Leialoha and Andrew Pepoy, color by Lee Loughridge, letters by Todd Klein (DC/Vertigo Comics)
• Schlock Mercenary: The Body Politic Story and art by Howard Tayler (The Tayler Corporation)
• Serenity: Better Days Written by Joss Whedon & Brett Matthews, art by Will Conrad, color by Michelle Madsen, cover by Jo Chen (Dark Horse Comics)
• Y: The Last Man, Volume 10: Whys and Wherefores Written/created by Brian K. Vaughan, penciled/created by Pia Guerra, inked by Jose Marzan, Jr. (DC/Vertigo Comics)

My pick out of these would be the final volume of Y, the Last Man. The winners for all of the Hugo Awards will be announced August 6 at WorldCon in Montreal.

Family Ties

Today's cartoon is made possible by Teenage Hormones.

I'll be the first to admit that I don't know Jack Crap about the Jonas Brothers. I assume they are musicians because they are holding guitars in the pictures I've seen, but I've never heard a single song. I don't know if their specialty is gangsta rap or Latvian folk dirges. But I do have three brothers-in-law, so this pun appealed to me.

For the record, none of the characters in this drawing resemble any of my real life brothers-in-law. All three are all forthright citizens with nothing but the world's best interests at heart and do not fit this narrow-minded stereotype in any way. The majority of them do not have criminal records of any sort and one of them even holds the honorable distinction of having eradicated all nude pictures of himself from the Internet.

Contrary to my own strong suspicions about my sisters' taste in men, all three of them actually did pretty well, to which the virtual non-existence of restraining orders among them is a public testament.

I'm hoping they forget all about this cartoon before our family reunion in Oklahoma this summer.

Real Estate Rule

Bizarro is made possible today by Modern Chiropractic.

Here is a delightfully strange idea given to me by the elusive "Malo." Don't try to attach too much meaning to it, as a couple of readers who emailed me about it did.

Just enjoy the surreal quality of its oddness.

Marvel Variant Cover Mania!

Of the twenty-three new comics Marvel is releasing this week, eleven of them have variant covers (Hulk #11 has four different covers!) In addition, four collections have variant editions, and there are six 2nd or 3rd printings with new covers.

Marvel appears to be joining younger publishers like Boom!, IDW, Avatar & Dynamite in having variants be the norm, rather than the exception.

Yes, there will be a Free Comic Book Month event this year

Despite the fact that posting has been rather sparse here over the past few months, I do plan on running Free Comic Book Month again this May. This will be the Fifth annual FCBM here at YACB. Look for the official announcement early next week...

Science!!

Bizarro is brought to you today by The March of Progress.

As I predicted, I got some mail about this cartoon from readers who are against embryonic stem cell research. I also got a couple from people who informed me that stem cell research was not illegal, only the use of embryonic stem cells, and something else about government funding, but I zoned out.

I know every detail of every cartoon does not stand up to academic scrutiny, it isn't meant to. It's a cartoon.

Folks that wrote were of the opinion that embryonic stem cells are humans and should be afforded legal protection. I don't happen to share that view, but that's not really what this cartoon is about. It's actually just a flimsy, current-events excuse to use the phrase "boltless neck." I thought that was funny.

Of course, we may disagree on that point, too.

Tragedy + Time = Humor

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Woodland Creatures.

I submitted this cartoon many weeks ago, long before the Somali pirate story hit the news, but the cartoon appeared in papers a day or so after the story was making headlines. Some readers wondered why I was tying the banking crisis and the hostage situation together.

A reader wrote to me recently and suggested a good caption for this cartoon would have been "pirates are giving pirates a bad name." I chuckled and told him I would have used it if I were an editorial cartoonist and could get a cartoon into the paper the day after I drew it. As it is, there is a six week delay between my turning in a cartoon and its appearance in papers, so I can't be that current.

That delay makes it a little nerve wracking if I do a cartoon about an earthquake or a plane crash. More than one syndicated cartoonist has erroneously been accused of making fun of a tragedy the day after it happened. I've been the victim of this kind of coincidence a couple of times in my career, the most ludicrous of which was once when I drew a cartoon about a bicycle pizza delivery guy standing at the Pearly Gates with a pair of twisted handlebars in his hand. St. Pete says something like, "Sorry about that bus, but I was really craving a pizza."

The day after it appeared in papers, I got some angry letters from people in a certain city who thought I was making fun of a prominent cyclist in their community who had been killed by a car the day before my cartoon printed.

Whaddyagonnado?

Sport Differential

(Click image to enlarge)

Today's Bizarro is sponsored by Immature Fathers.

I'm a sports fan but I don't follow golf. First, it isn't a sport it's a game, not that that matters, and second, I find it unacceptably dull. Like watching people play chess or Scrabble. Sure, lots of people enjoy golf on TV and that's fine. I suspect most of them probably play it, though, which makes any sport more fun to watch because you have firsthand knowledge of how difficult what the participants are doing really is. Which is why I enjoy watching those films about Jason Bourne.

A recent exception to this rule is that I've come to enjoy watching some basketball on TV, even though I've not played it since I was twelve. It's not that I don't like it, but with the exception of countries like Guatemala and Japan, I'm not what most people would call "tall," so I am at a natural disadvantage in a game about height. In fact, it isn't even the same game. To have firsthand knowledge of the skill level necessary to play basketball as those in the NBA do, I would have to use a ball the size of a grapefruit and play on a court half the size of standard ones with the hoop mounted at the top of the average door frame. Just doesn't seem as hard.

Conversely, if the NBA dudes were playing with a beach ball on a court the size of a hockey rink and the hoop were mounted at the top of the average highway light pole, they'd have some idea of what basketball is for me.

So here is Tiger Woods playing putt putt. His mighty swing is taking out other patrons right and left. Stop, Tiger, stop! It's all about putting! No driving allowed!

Silly, silly, Tiger.

Amazon Top 50

Here are the Top 50 Graphic Novels on Amazon this afternoon. All the previous caveats apply.


1 (-). Watchmen
2 (-). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw
3 (+1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
4 (-1). Diary of a Wimpy Kid
5 (-). Star Trek: Countdown TPB *
6 (N). A Drifting Life
7 (N). The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Volume 3: Century #1 *
8 (+1). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
9 (-1). Batman: The Killing Joke
10 (-4). V for Vendetta
11 (+30). Dark Tower: Treachery *
12 (N). Secret Identity: The Fetish Art of Superman's Co-creator Joe Shuster
13 (-6). Mercy Thompson Homecoming *
14 (+7). Batman: R.I.P.
15 (+4). Time of Your Life (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 4) *
16 (+9). The Joker
17 (+22). Batman: Year One
18 (-8). Blueberry Girl
19 (N). Batman: Arkham Asylum (15th Anniversary Edition)
20 (-9). Angel: After the Fall, Vol. 3
21 (-8). Wolves at the Gate (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 3)
22 (-8). Ignorance, Thy Name Is Bucky: A Get Fuzzy Collection
23 (+21). All Star Superman, Vol. 2
24 (-7). The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Vol. 1
25 (+5). The Walking Dead, Vol. 9: Here We Remain
26 (-14). The Dresden Files: Welcome to the Jungle
27 (-). The Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes and Nocturnes
28 (N). Batman: The Long Halloween
29 (+7). Bone: One Volume Edition
30 (N). The Beats: A Graphic History
31 (-8). The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
32 (-4). Maus I: A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History
33 (N). Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
34 (-19). The Official Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide, 39th Edition
35 (-13). Serenity, Vol. 2: Better Days
36 (N). Crown of Horns (Bone, Vol. 9)
37 (N). From Hell
38 (N). The Sandman Vol. 3: Dream Country
39 (-1). The Long Way Home (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol. 1)
40 (N). The Saturday Evening Pearls: A Pearls Before Swine Collection
41 (-12). The Complete Peanuts 1971-1972
42 (N). Dark Tower: The Long Road Home (Exclusive Amazon.com Cover)
43 (N). The Marvel Encyclopedia
44 (-1). The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Vol. 2
45 (-21). Watchmen (Absolute Edition)
46 (N). Y: The Last Man Vol. 4: Safeword
47 (-12). No Future For You (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume 2)
48 (N). Angel: After The Fall Volume 1
49 (N). The DC Comics Encyclopedia, Updated and Expanded Edition
50 (N). The Absolute Sandman, Vol. 3


Items with asterisks (*) are pre-order items.


Commentary:

* It was an extremely volatile week on the Amazon list this week, with many titles taking huge jumps up or down the charts, and a greater number than usual titles either debuting or returning.

* The highest debut is Yoshihiro Tatsumi's A Drifting Life, which was positively reviewed earlier in the week by the New York Times. It ranked even higher earlier in the week, and as late as yesterday evening it was charting above a couple of the Wimpy Kid volumes.

* Also debuting high is the pre-order for the first issue of Moore & O'Neill's new League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. (You might think that this would also cause a resurgence of the previous LXG volumes, but you'd be wrong.)

* Aside from A Drifting Life, no other manga volumes make the list, with even Naruto completely disappearing.

* One of the biggest gainers is Marvel's Dark Tower, with the pre-order for the new collection climbing way up, and the first collection making a return appearance.

American Genius

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Peace of Mind.

I got an email about this cartoon from a reader who wanted to inform me that "just because something is a conspiracy theory does not mean their aren't real conspiracies." Even though this person went on to identify himself as one of those meatheads who believes Obama was not born in the U.S. and is turning the country socialist, you can't argue with logic like that.

Along the same line of thinking, just because a TV network tells you it is a "news" channel, does not mean it is reporting facts. And just because that network claims to be "fair and balanced," does not mean it isn't demonstrably controlled by a political party attempting to control your behavior, take your money, and poison your environment. And just because that network's comical tag line is "we report, you decide," does not mean that you have much choice in what you decide based on their reporting. Sort of like the magician who says "pick any card," but always manages to get you to pick the card he wants you to have.

So thanks to the reader for alerting me to the existence of "real" conspiracies and for reminding me that there are always a handful of angry, uneducated, bigoted nitwits you can convince to waves signs and throw teabags while complaining about rising taxes when their own rates have been untouched for 16 years and are about to go down.

Fortunately for the rest of us, their numbers are lower at the moment and relatively few people showed up for the comical Fox-Network-GOP-instigated-and-promoted "grass roots" tax revolt last Wednesday. I have little faith that their numbers will continue to dwindle, but for the time being, the desperation of the GOP and its "news" network is humorous to watch, anyway.


DISCLAIMER: This blog is not intended to insult educated conservatives who mourn the loss of their party to the neo-cons.

Childhood Memory

Bizarro is brought to you today by Happy Lucky Freaky Phone Call.

When I was a child in the 1960s, my imaginary friend was a long-haired, pot-smoking, peace-loving hippie dude who played bass for Janis Joplin and whom I called, "Yip."

Yip would hang out in my room, smoking, playing his guitar and recounting stories from various bars and hotels from his latest tour. My parents were cool about it, though they would occasionally complain about the noise and the "oddly sweet smelling smoke" that always filled my room. They couldn't see Yip, of course, but they humored me and pretended they could. When I told them about the time he got so drunk that he fell out of the tour bus window outside of Indianapolis and the whole crew, driver included, were so wasted that nobody noticed until they had gotten to Cleveland, they laughed appropriately. In later years, they confessed to pressing their ears against my bedroom door and marveling at how good I was at switching voices during our conversations.

Then one day it all came to an end when they entered my room without knocking and Yip didn't have time to hide. Mom fainted, Dad called the police and I never saw Yip again.

I guess we all have to say goodbye to childhood sometime.

Standing Tall

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hurricane Damage.
As I've mentioned on this here ding dang blog thang before, I'm putting together a book of super hero cartoons. This is the latest addition to the project, hope you get a smile out of it.

I did another "standing erect" cartoon about cavemen some years ago that, although it is not obscene by any means, is too "adult" to run in the nation's funny papers. It's not a hysterical classic by any means, but I like it and offer it here for your discerning eyes.

Until tomorrow: Stand tall, friends.

New Library Comics: March 2009

Here's a list of the titles we added to the library's comics collection last month:


Aesfi, Christo. The adventures of Charlz from Marz / Hermosa Beach, [Calif.] : Dreamland, 2008-

Apple : a place for people who love entertainment : creative illustration collection. vol. 2 / Richmond Hill, Ont. : Udon Entertainment, 2008-

Aranzi Aronzo Inc. The complete Aranzi hour / [New York : Vertical Inc., c2008]

Bajram, Denis. Universal War One vol. 1 / New York : Marvel, 2008-

Bechdel, Alison, 1960- Fun home : a family tragicomic / Boston : Houghton Mifflin, 2006.

Blanchet, Pascal, 1980- White Rapids / Montreal : Drawn & Quarterly, 2007.

Breeden, Jennie. The devil's panties vol. 3 / [Fairfax, Va.] : Silent Devil Inc., 2007-

A comics studies reader / Jackson : University Press of Mississippi, 2009.

Cthulhu tales : the whisper of madness. / Los Angeles, CA : Boom! Studios, c2008.

Eastman, Kevin B. Underwhere / Northampton, MA : KESI Entertainment, c1995.

Ellsworth, Theo. Capacity / Jackson Heights, NY : Secret Acres, 2008.

Gaskin, Samuel C. Fatal faux-pas / Jackson Heights, NY : Secret Acres, c2008.

Geissman, Grant. Foul play! : the art and artists of the notorious 1950s E.C. comics! / New York : Harper Design, 2005

Gould, Chester. The complete Chester Gould's Dick Tracy vol. 6 : 1939-1940 / SanDiego, Calif. : IDW Publishing, 2006-

Hommer, Sascha. Insekt / Berlin : Reprodukt, 2008.

Hubert, 1971- Miss don't touch me / New York : Comics Lit, 2009.

I saw you : comics inspired by real life missed connections / New York : Three Rivers Press, 2009.

Immonen, Kathryn. Never as bad as you think* / [Los Angeles, Calif.] : Boom Studios, 2008.

Kariya, Tetsu, 1941- Oishinbo, a la carte / San Francisco : VIZ Media, 2009.

Kochalka, James. Johnny Boo : Twinkle Power / Marietta, Ga. : Top Shelf Productions, 2008.

Kôsen. Saihôshi / [Las Vegas, Nev.] : Yaoi Press, c2007.

Kôsen. Stallion / [Las Vegas, Nev.] : Yaoi Press, c2006.

Kovac, Tommy. Skelebunnies : [complete collection] / San Jose, Calif. : SLG, 2009.

Kreitz, Isabel. Die Sache mit Sorge : Stalins Spion in Tokio / Hamburg : Carlsen, 2008.

Lay, Carol. The big skinny : how I changed my fattitude : a memoir / New York : Villard, c2008.

Little, Troy, 1973- Angora Napkin / San Diego, Calif. : IDW, 2009.

Mallratte, Fiona. Tranny : boys will be girls / Portland, OR : Manx Media, 2008.

Manhwa 100 : the new era for Korean comics / Seoul, Korea : C&C Revolution, Inc. ; Glendale, CA : Distributed by Netcomics, c2008.

Marvel Europe. / New York : Marvel Enterprises, 2009.

Mawil. Das grosse Supa-Hasi : Sonntag-Nachmittags-Album für die ganze Familie / Berlin : Reprodukt, 2005.

Mawil. Meister Lampe / Berlin : Reprodukt, 2006.

McCay, Winsor. The complete Dream of the rarebit fiend (1904-1913) by Winsor McCay 'Silas' / [S.l.] : rarebit-fiend-book.com, 2007.

McGregor, Don. Sabre / Dallas, Ga. : Image Comics, c1998.

McKeever, Ted. Eddy Current / Berkeley, CA : Image Comics, 2008.

McNamara, Jason. First moon / San Francisco, CA : AiT/Planet Lar, c2006.

Messner-Loebs, William. Journey : the adventures of Wolverine MacAlistaire vol. 2 / San Diego, Calif. : IDW Publishing, 2008-2009.

Miller, Frank, 1957- Daredevil : born again / New York : Marvel Publishing, 2009.

Moore, Alan, 1953- Saga of the Swamp Thing vol. 1 / New York : DC Comics, 2009-

Morales, Robert. Captain America : truth / New York : Marvel Publishing Inc, 2009.

Neal, Nate. The sanctuary nos. 1-3 / Grand Rapids, Mich. : OM Comics, c2006-

Nemoto, Takashi, 1958- Monster men Bureiko lullaby / Brooklyn, NY : Picture Box Inc., [2008?].

Nowlan, Philip Francis. Buck Rogers in the 25th century : the complete newspaper dailies vol. 1 : 1929-1930 / Neshannock, Pa. : Hermes Press, c2008-

Ōba, Tsugumi. Death note vol. 1 / San Francisco, CA : VIZ Media, 2008.

Obomsawin, Diane. Kaspar / Montréal, Quebec : Drawn and Quarterly, 2009.

Oscar Wilde / Mount Horeb : Eureka Productions, 2009

Pekar, Harvey. Another dollar / New York, NY : DC Comics, c2009.

Poe, Marshall. A house divided / New York : Aladdin Paperbacks, 2009.

Prizewinning political cartoons / Gretna, La. : Pelican Pub., 2008.

Rosson, Keith. The best of intentions : the Avow anthology / Elkford, BC : Fork In The Road Press, c2003.

Sequential art anthology 2008. / Savannah, GA : Savannah College of Art and Design, 2008.

Seyfried, Gerhard, 1948- Die Werke. Alle! : sämtliche Cartoons, Illustrationen, Poster und Gemälde sowie Skizzen und Entwürfe / Frankfurt am Main [Germany] : Zweitausendeins ; Affoltern [Switzerland] : Buch 2000, 2008.

Shadmi, Koren. In the flesh / New York : Villard, c2009.

Talbot, Bryan. The adventures of Luther Arkwright / Milwaukie, Or. : Dark Horse, 2007.

Tan, Shaun. Tales from outer suburbia / New York : Arthur A. Levine Books, 2009.

Tanaka, Masashi, 1962- Gon vol. 7 / La Jolla, CA : WildStorm Productions, c2007-

Teenagers from the future : essays on the legion of super-heroes / Edwardsville, Ill. : Sequart Research & Literacy Organization, 2008.

Tezuka, Osamu, 1928-1989. Black Jack vol. 3 / New York : Vertical, c2008-

Urasawa, Naoki, 1960- Pluto : Urasawa x Tezuka vol. 1 / San Francisco, CA : VIZ Media, c2008-

Urosawa, Naoki, 1960- 20th century boys vol. 1 / San Francisco, CA : Viz Media, 2009-

Van Lente, Fred. Comic book comics no. 3 / Brooklyn, N.Y. : Evil Twin Comics, 2008-

Vankin, Jonathan, 1962- Tokyo days, Bangkok nights / New York : Vertigo, c2009.

Ward, Bill, 1919-1928. Torchy, the blonde bombshell / New York : Pure Imagination Publishing, 2008.

Watson, Esther. Unlovable / Seattle, Wash. : Fantagraphics, 2009-

Yaoi : anthology of boys love stories vols. 1-2 / [Las Vegas, Nev.] : Yaoi Press, 2007-



As always, this listing is available as an RSS Feed.

Apptitude for Driving

Bizarro is brought to you today by Future Serial Killers.

One of my business partners and closest friends habitually texts while he drives. He sends long paragraphs of information – some of it business related, some of it random musings – disjointed, short, sentences full of misspellings, all sorts of things. I have admonished him on numerous occasions and even refused to answer his texts when I know he is driving, but the habit is one he cannot seem to break.

I have tried to mentally prepare myself for the call I know will eventually come… "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Dan, but Buzz has had an accident." (No, his name isn't really "Buzz," but I call him that to tease him about his other strange [but less dangerous] habit of shaving his entire body daily. At least he doesn't do it while he drives. That I know of.)

Buzz is also hooked on iPhone apps, so this joke is entirely aimed at him. The only thing I didn't do was make the character resemble him. Buzz is so disturbing looking that it would have distracted from the joke and confused readers. Meet Buzz (unshaven).

So please – if you're a good person who contributes positively to the world, don't text and drive. The rest of you can do what you want, but please keep your car off my balcony.

The Cost of Peace of Mind

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Beauty of Art.

Here's a fun little scribble that makes light of the multi-billion-dollar crime syndicate commonly called the "insurance industry".

I hate the insurance industry, especially in the field of health. Don't tell my parents, but I haven't had health insurance for almost 10 years. I know it's a risk, but every month that goes by that I don't need it makes me feel like I've robbed those bastards of a little more unearned profit. In the past 10 years, I've spent maybe five thousand dollars on health care. If I'd had insurance, I'd have racked up that total every few months and gotten nothing for it since none of those charges would have eclipsed the deductible. It's the curse of the self employed.

I'm hoping O actually gets his universal health care off the ground this year so I can get covered at a reasonable rate. Nothing fancy, just basic coverage in case my parachute doesn't open and I live to tell the tale.

NOTE: Please don't bother telling me how dangerous it is not to have health insurance, I know, I know. And don't bother telling me how inefficient government health care can be. I know that, too. Fact is, we have the most expensive health care system in the world by far and it is nowhere near the best. Don't believe the horror stories the meat puppets on FoxNews tell you about government health care. As usual, they are duping you and protecting the billionaire fatcats.

Modern Fortress

(For a more Big-n-Clear™ view, click that 'toon!)

This episode of Bizarro is brought to you by Corpse-Eating Zombies.

I got a couple of emails from readers who didn't understand this cartoon when it appeared in the papers last week. The rule of thumb is that for every letter you get, there are thousands more who agree but didn't bother to write.

Before you read further, I'd be interested to know how many blog readers were or are puzzled by this gag. I'm going to explain it in the following paragraphs, but I'm just curious how many needed this explanation. Your answer will help me to better serve the public.

One of the problems of writing humor for public consumption is that you don't always know how many will understand your joke. I arrived at this idea through a series of thoughts that eventually led here, so it seems obvious to me, but I can't objectively be certain how a person might perceive it at first glance who has not gone through the same steps as I did.

The steps:
A velvet rope is a barrier. (Albeit an incredibly impotent one)
A barrier is like a wall.
People attacking walls sometimes use a catapult.
What kind of catapult would be appropriate for a velvet wall?

I know it's a stretch, but I found it amusing when I got there and hope others did too.

Thanks for your help and thanks for visiting my blog. You are the twinkle in the eye of the leprechaun of my heart.

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter from your friends at Yet Another Comics Blog!

(Cover by Mau Heymans from Walt Disney's Donald Duck and Friends #338.)

Amazing Technology

Thanks to regular blog reader and NYC friend, Jezzka, for this notice.

God in Nature

This is a special posting about an unusual phenomenon called to my attention by a regular reader in Minnesota, whom I'll call "Charles."

It seems that on the day the cartoon below appeared in the paper, Charles saw the face of Jesus in it. He described this to me by email and asked if I'd done it intentionally. I politely told him no and that I couldn't figure out what he was talking about.

















He sent me this explanation but I still could not see it and was content to write him off as one of the legions of mentally unbalanced people who follow Bizarro.











Finally, just out of curiosity, I backed way off from the computer and took my glasses off. With the proper distance and blur it came into focus, so to speak.

Below is a version I've doctored with an orange outline which describes the shape I believe he saw. It's a fairly unconventional version of Jesus, but perhaps this is how our Minnesota friend sees him. Or, perhaps "He" just has a wacky side.




















Charles later told me that the morning he witnessed the divine vision he had a bad case of flu and was not wearing his glasses. I couldn't help but wonder how many times this has happened people reading Garfield or Apartment 3G.

Let this be a warning to us all about viewing the funny pages in poor health and without the proper optical aids.


For more images of the almighty, click on the words "God's wrath" in the previous post.
Many thanks to Chuck Strinz for bringing this to my attention. Check out his video production company, Back On The Mississippi and his current PBS project, Museums of Minnesota.

Sounds of Weather

Bizarro is brought to you today by Inappropriate Times to Sing.

This is not so much a cartoon as a historical illustration. Few people realize that today's doppler radar is named after Edgar J. Doppler, a Utah frontiersman who took it upon himself to warn locals of impending storms in just this fashion. He was observed doing this in 1842 by Austrian journalist, Christian Andreas Delppor, who described it in his widely read chronicles of his experiences on the American frontier, Austrian Among the Savages.

Edgar was killed in 1851 by a lightening strike from a storm he did not see coming as he napped beneath a tree in the center of what is now Salt Lake City. Taken as a sign that this is where God wanted them to build their temple, the local faithful erected the famous Morman Tabernacle.

To this day, some Mormon sects will not gaze upon radar images or listen to forecasts, believing that man is not meant to be warned of God's wrath. For more on Edgar Doppler, read here.

Wayno World

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Family That Drinks Together...

Today's cartoon was written by a Pittsburgh colleague of mine who signs his cartoons "Wayno." He sent me a bunch of cartoons of his recently and I offered to showcase a few and give him some plugs. I like his work a lot and it's been fun collaborating with him. He asked me to direct you to this page to see more of his work. There are a few more of our collaborations coming up in the next few weeks.

Truth be told, I like his illustration style better than mine, but I'm more-or-less locked into this look for Bizarro and it has served me well, so there you go. I use other styles for other kinds of projects. Here is one I like a lot which appears as a full page in Bizarro and Other Strange Manifestations of the Art of Dan Piraro.

Buy 100 copies today!

Quick Reviews: Awesome Batman Comics

While the regular in-continuity Batman titles take a rest for the 3-month-long "Battle for the Cowl" angst-fest, a couple of out-of-continuity Batman titles are giving us all the Caped Crusader awesomeness we need.

Batman Confidential #28 is the conclusion of "A New Dawn," the three-part story that features the first comics-based appearance of King Tut, the villain from the 60s Batman TV show. Writers Nunzio DeFilippis & Christina Weir give us Batman teaming up with his old foe The Riddler to try to unravel Tut's scheme. Their Egyptology seems to be on the money, or at least good enough to fool me in fiction. The real awesomeness of the story however lies with legendary penciller José Luis García-López, who hasn't lost a step and can draw dynamic scenes of talking and fluid scenes of action like nobody's business. His art meshes surprisingly well with the inks of Kevin Nowlan. The only thing missing art-wise is the yellow oval around the bat-insignia, because: a) the grey-and-blue coloring for the costume looks odd without the yellow oval; and b) this is totally the kind of story that needs the yellow oval.

Even more awesome? Batman: The Brave and the Bold #3--story by Matt Wayne & art by Andy Suriano & Dan Davis--guest starring Green Arrow in the story "President Batman!" (exclamation point in the original, and mandatory.) How awesome is it? In just the first few pages: Green Arrow lands the Arrow Plane on the lawn of the White House; to foil a kidnapping plot, Batman assumes the identity of the President with the help of a holographic image projector; Batman & Green Arrow break up a floor fight in Congress while disguised as the President and a Secret Service agent--with their fists!; I could go on, but won't save to mention that the baddie is a Golden Age Superman villain with an albino gorilla sidekick. Batman + Gorillas = great comics!

Looking forward to the new Grant Morrison & Frank Quitely Batman and Robin comic, which will surely also be awesome even if it only comes out three times per year. But in the meantime, there's plenty of great Batman stories hiding out there if you know where to look!

Rating for both: 4 (of 5).