Bizarro has been brought to you today by Barbie's Bang Mobile.I don't want to turn this blog into a never ending lecture about the limitless evils of the human species, so I'll just let this cartoon speak for itself.
On a more lighthearted note, my cat is throwing up as I type this. This is her morning puke, another one is scheduled for around 7pm. She eats a small amount of cat food twice a day (her choice, not mine) and moments later throws up everything she has eaten, often right back into the bowl from whence it came. She has been like this for years, yet continues to maintain an average weight.
Were a human to do this she would at first be termed bulimic, but after years of this behavior without losing a pound, would become a source of great medical curiosity.
My other cat, the first cat's daughter, never eats at all. Neither CHNW nor I have ever seen her put a morsel of food in her mouth. Like her mum, she neither loses nor gains weight. The strangest part of this mystery, however, is that the litter box fills up daily. I've lain awake nights trying to figure it out and have come up with the following theories:
1. The cats have found another food source of which my wife and I are not aware. Like a loose floorboard behind the sofa stuffed with tuna jerky.
2. The cats are letting their friends in at night to poop in our box, in an attempt to cover the fact that they are vampires.
3. The cats don't really exist, I am experiencing early-onset dementia.
If any of you have any more reasonable theories, please let me know. I could use the sleep.
No comments:
Post a Comment