Anatomically Incorrect

Bizarro is brought to you today by The King's Colonoscopy.

Speaking of which, it is time for me, once again, to pay a stranger to shove things into my rectum. Yes, I am overdue for a colonoscopy, the medical equivalent of prison rape.

I had one about ten years ago, when I turned 40, and after complaining to my friends about how it was the worst, most painful day of my life, they all said, "But you're not supposed to remember it. They give you that amnesia drug."

Huh? They gave me no such drug. I guess they forgot. Perhaps they took it themselves.

Now I'm (over)due for another and I don't want to do it because:
A. The last one was a nightmare
B. I don't have health insurance and it's expensive
C. I don't know where/who to go to. Am I supposed to pick someone randomly from the Yellow Pages and pay them to shove things into my butt? Sounds like more like Craig's List than modern medicine.

A reasonable blog reader might ask, "Why don't you have health insurance, Dan?"

Because in NY it is phenomenally expensive when you are not affiliated with any group or employer. The cheapest I've found is through the Freelancers Union (which isn't really a "union" but a group of freelancers who buy insurance together so it is cheaper) and it's still over $1000 a month for minimum coverage for my wife and me, and of course, that doesn't include "pre-existing conditions" or anything else they decide they don't want to pay for. I'd literally rather die than pay $12,000 a year to an extortion corporation, only to be denied money back later when I really need it. It is the definition of organized crime.

I Twooted this last night, but how is it that even the dimmest Americans cannot see these two simple facts:
1. All politicians who oppose government-run health care actually HAVE government-run health care.
2. All politicians who oppose government-run health care are taking huge amounts of money from the insurance industry and big pharm.

Will this country ever wake up, or do I see residency in Europe in my future?